Frames and frame control: such an important aspects of socialization, and yet so few books and resources on this topic.
From what I have read so far, most of the resources discussing frames are still about seduction and pick-up techniques.
Next comes sales, especially from authors schooled in NLP. And lastly, negotiation books also sometimes discuss frames.
Albeit it’s a popular topic, I haven’t seen any great resources on frames in seduction books to be honest.
When frames are discussed they are mostly about imposing your frame or “constructing your own reality”. That can be helpful if one does in strategically. But it can also be very unhealthy and make people come across as social retards.
So this list only contains the top-notch information on frames and frames’ control:
#8. Marcus Aurelius
The first, most iconic text discussing frames as a way to control oneself and one’s mind.
Whatever happens in your life, you decide what that means to you and how you feel about.
And that’s the essence of frames applied to any external event.
Aurelius also recommends to only focus on what you can control, and to let everything else drop out of focus.
In a way, that means to embrace a smaller frame towards the world, only looking at a small portion of reality. The only part that matters: what you can control.
Simply the best book I have read on negotiation.
It’s not laser-focused on frames, but since frames are often about negotiation and negotiation of meaning, then this book will also help.
#6. Pitch Anything
When I started reading “Pitch Anything” I was flabbergasted.
“Oh my God”, I thought, “this book is ThePowerMoves applied to negotiation! This guy is the real deal!”
But by the time I had finished, I felt that Oren Klaff only focused one type of frame control: frame imposition.
His techniques are more about wresting control of the interaction, and more likely to sour relationships and escalate conflict.
That’s why I recommend reader to get a wider overview on frames, which include collaborative frames and frames negotiations.
Already, warning being sounded, this is still an awesome read on frames and (frames conflicts).
Pre-suasion is all about “pre-framing”.
And pre-framing is all about influencing people by exposing or manipulating the frame of mind and frame of reference before they are exposed to a certain stimulus.
In psychology this is called “priming”, and depending on how you “prime” people, you might as well call it “pre-framing”.
Priming as a psychological construct has been under heavy fire during the recent psychological replication crisis, and it’s even been branded as a “pop-psychology myth“.
But, of course, the war against psychology went too far. Priming is real, and so is the effectiveness of pre-framing.
Tony Robbins, schooled in NLP, goes heavy on frames.
In “Creating Lasting Change”, he talks a lot about changing people’s frames to influence their moods and behavior.
Another product by Tony Robbins.
And possibly my favorite self-help product.
In “Personal Power II”, Robbins discusses how to use frame not towards others, but towards oneself.
He talks about reframing and changing the meaning of what life events meant to you both to heal from wounds and to become happier and more fulfilled.
The only book on this list to discuss framing at a political and mass-communication level.
George Lakoff, the author, is obviously a Democrat. But he doesn’t hide it, so it doesn’t bother me one bit.
And what he says simply makes sense, independently of where you stand in the political spectrum.
This whole book is an exercise in frame wars and frame control, applied to politics and public discourse.
Lakoff discusses how the Republicans framed the political debate around key issues such as taxation (tax-relief) and climate (climate change instead of global warming) in a way that benefited them.
By winning the frame war against the unsuspecting Democracts, Republicans convinced millions of people to vote against their own economic interests.
So, in a way, this is also a book on how to use frames to manipulate and persuate people.
You might not agree with it, but his analysis on frames is spot on.
#2. Getting Past No
There is a genius insight in “Getting Past No”.
And that insight is that you will gain every time you can turn a competitive frame into a win-win frame.
Says William Ury:
Whenever the other party goes into positional and confrontational bargaining, you must reframe it to a more helpful win-win approach.
That’s become one of the main tenets of ThePowerMoves.com
As a general rule, there is always more power in turning as many relationships into win-win, rather than fighting (frame) wars.
#1. Social Power
I made this website, and the course, because there was nothing available on power dynamics.
And there was nothing much on frames, either, so I put a lot of information on frames, frame control techniques, and how to use frames to increase your personal power and life success.
Frames are discussed more than once across Social Power, and there is one dedicated lesson that goes more in-depth on frame control than anything else I have seen.
You can get 70% of that lesson’s content in this free article: