Are you looking for the best dating books for guys?
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Contents
Dating Literature for Guys: Overview
The overall dating literature for men is spotty, presenting some good stuff, some great stuff, but also a lot of not as good information.
The issue is that it’s a field which has attracted a lot of men who were:
- Not very good with women to begin with
- Disgruntled and carrying misogynistic views
- Awkward with people in general (and didn’t understand basic social dynamics)
None of these issues are permanent and they all can be corrected.
That’s what good literature, training and self-development are for, after all.
But that doesn’t mean that all the teachers and “gurus” in the community actually corrected those issues.
Some got “good enough” or somehow built somewhat of a following to start teaching -and making money out of it- but they were not necessarily the best teachers and role models to follow.
That has led to a proliferation of dating advice for guys that are far from optimal and, at times, even plainly counterproductive.
Worry not though, this article distills the best of the best and gives you a quick overview as why they are in this list.
Best Dating Books for Men
And here is the current TOP 10 dating books for men:
#11. Models
by Mark Manson
Summary | Amazon
Models is in between a self-development text, a high level “mindsets” text and an actual book on dating strategies and techniques.
Indeed, the reason it’s not featured any higher in this best dating books for men list is because it’s a bit too general and “general public friendly”.
What do I mean by that?
I mean that either because he really believes in it or in an effort to reach a wider general audience, Mark Manson takes rather”safe” positions.
He says for example that relationships are more fulfilling than sleeping around, that being honest is better than playing games and that embracing vulnerability is the most powerful thing you can do
And those make everyone nod in approval and make for wonderful Instagram quotes.
And it’s not that they are not true, they are.
But it’s also true that sleeping around can be great fun. And it can be better than relationships in certain periods of life and, for certain womanizing personalities, it can be better for, like… Ever.
Also, I’m ambivalent about Mark’s message of “dropping all games and being honest”.
That kind of message does not equip the readers with the knowledge and understanding of the dating dynamics. Because people do play games and wear marks whether you approach it honestly or not. It’s simply part and parcel of being humans.
But then again, I’m a guy writing on a website called “The Power Moves” :). And Models is a great book coming from a healthy and secure mindset which I thoroughly enjoyed.
Watch out that you don’t overdo the vulnerability that Manson makes central in Models and you’ll be in safe hands here.
Quote: Challenge yourself to find the good and beautiful thing inside of everyone. It’s there. It’s your job to find it. Not their job to show you.
#10. No More Mr. Nice Guy
By Robert Glover
Summary | Audiobook
Albeit not strictly a dating book for men, “No More Mr. Nice Guy” is the best and deepest overview of the “nice guy syndrome”.
And, possibly, also the best book I have read to understanding the nice guy syndrome and overcome it.
And since nice guys aren’t usually very successful ad dating, this is a must read for any “too nice guy”.
Just make sure you don’t swing on the opposite direction -unless for a very brief period while you overcome the nice guy syndrome-.
Quote: Humans connect with humans. Hiding one’s humanity and trying to project an image of perfection makes a person vague, slippery, lifeless, and uninteresting.
#9. How to Be a 3% Man
by Corey Wayne
Summary | Audiobook
How to Be a 3% Man is the most popular book in this list, at least going by Amazon’s reviews.
I found a few issues and blemishes in there, especially when it comes to actual social dynamics and psychology of dating.
But there is a reason why it still makes its way in this best dating books for men list.
And it’s because it covers most topics and most high-level mindsets from a position of genuinity and in a way that will provide a big bang for the buck to the average guy reading it.
Quote: Masculine energy is about drive, purpose, mission, succeeding, accomplishing, overcoming obstacles, and achieving goals
#8. DateOnomics
Guys, I’ll be brief here.
But if you want to understand dating, it’s good to also get some numbers on dating.
DateOnomics will do just that.
was one the most eye-opening and “aha-filled” text I have ever read about dating in the last year.
It makes a very good pairing with “Attraction Explained“, which focuses more on psychology experiments and science rather than numbers. And “The Evolution of Desire“, focusing mostly on evolutionary psychology.
Quote: Robert M. Solow, the Nobel Prize winner for the theory of economic growth, once said, ‘Everything reminds Milton [Friedman] of the money supply. Well, everything reminds me of sex, but I keep it out of the paper.’
Well, Solow might have missed something economically significant by not linking sex with economic growth.
#7. The Man’s Guide to Women
by John Gottman
Summary | Audiobook
Many guys reading a “best dating books for guys list” want to date better because they want a girlfriend and a relationship.
Well, then these guys need to get a professional when it comes to relationships.
Because the Achilles’ heel of the dating literature indeed is that often -but not always- the authors focus on “being alpha” while understanding little of relationship dynamics and what makes a relationship successful.
And that’s why I put a decade-long researcher on relationships such as Gottman on this list.
His book mixes proper advice on understanding women with how to develop a strong, happy and (hopefully) long-lasting relationship.
Quote: News flash: Men, you have the power to make or break a relationship
#6. Invincible
by David Tian
Summary & Review
David Tian seems to be mostly focusing on the Asian population, but the product and content are solid and good for everyone.
He mixes Tony Robbin’s material with some Art of Seduction concepts, a strong focus on fundamentals and a very good understanding of dating dynamics and psychology.
#5. One Date
By Chase Amante
Summary & Review
One Date is one of the best products when it comes to content and information.
No mental states, no “transformation”, no colored pills or anything: just great content and information.
It’s the first source I have read
That rings very true to me and it’s an important distinction to make.
I rate it “only” N.5 because of the podcast/interview style of the course which I didn’t particularly dig -I think there are more efficient ways to deliver information on a course-.
Otherwise, content and information should be what matters most, and big thumbs up there.
Note:
I have only finished the first module of “One Date” and not the whole course.
#4. The Art of Seduction
by Robert Greene
Summary | Audiobook
The Art of Seduction is not your go-to resource to actually date and seduce in the modern world.
Greene uses his typical flowery language that sells and markets so well to depict a slow-burning type of seduction that would perfect… On paper and if people had all the time in the world.
But in a fast-moving world, most of the times, you are probably better off with a more efficient “in or out” approach.
Robert Greene doesn’t seem to be a womanizer himself indeed.
BUT, he is a deep connoisseur of human nature and psychology.
And no other dating book for guys goes so in-depth when it comes to the psychological analysis of seducers and in-depth psychology of seduction.
Indeed, The Art of Seduction is a darling of mine as one of the deepest texts when it comes to the understanding not just of heterosexual seduction, but also of social seduction.
Quote: There is too little mystery in the world; too many people say exactly what they feel or want.
#3. Fundamentals of Female Dynamics
by Michael Knight
Summary | Kindle
Fundamentals of Female Dating, one of the very best dating books for guys, is sadly a great example that the link between quality and popularity is a very tenuous one.
Indeed, albeit it’s great content and the deep grasp of dating and psychology of its author, Fundamentals of Female Dynamics is a vastly underrated text.
Well, at least now you know about it :).
Quote: Persisting through adversity is what truly separates the men from the boys.
#2. How to Make Girls Chase
By Chase Amante
Summary & Review
Chase Amante burst into the scene at a time when “pick-up” meant asking opinions, working out groups, “negging” and learning “routines”.
And it’s not that those techniques don’t have a place and a time: they do. But the way they were being taught and used -and some still do so today- had a tendency of making the seducer a rather obnoxious guy and, in the worst cases, a rather socially inept one too.
Chase approach was simpler, more direct and more focused on being an overall high value man.
All married with a solid understanding of psychology and dating dynamics.
I don’t agree with everything on “How to Make Girls Chase” -of course-, but as of today, it remains one of the best dating books for guys I have read.
#1. The System
By Todd Valentine
Summary & Review
One of the advantages of Todd’s course is that he shows the actual infields.
And comments on them from the position of a guy with years of experience and, as well, a very good social intelligence.
Even as a non-beginner, I still could learn a lot and tweak my style in a way that further improve my effectiveness.
Bonus: Dating Power Dynamics
This is dating seen though power dynamics.
This is the backbon behind this book:
Power and resources are the main differentiator.
Approaching a lot helps and will bring you results… But it’s highly inefficient.
It requires a huge amount of effort for little returns.
Being truly successful at dating is not about doing hundreds of cold approaches.
The most successful men do little work to get women.
And the most successful of them all have so much power and leverage in the dating marketplace that they do the picking, not the approaching.
“Dating Power Dynamics” explains how and why.
Plus it’s a detailed analyses of the sexual marketplace.
Including an overview of evolutionary psychology, biology and power dynamics, it’s the fastest way to truly learn about dating and seduction.
Wrapping Up
You have just finished a top 10 list of the best dating advice for guys available.
I only include products and books I have personally read and I keep reading, experiencing and improving all the times.
This means that my lists are always work in progress that will always be updated.
Sign up to the book newsletter if you want to get the latest of my best book updates.
Social Power
For a holistic on social dynamics, check out “social power”.
It’s not strictly focused on picking-up, but it provides all the foundations on becoming an overall more confident and powerful individual:
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