Can’t Hurt Me is David Goggins’ life autobiography.
In raw prose and peppered with deep insights in the mindsets of over-achieving, Can’t Hurt Me shows how Goggins endures -and leverages- pain to achieve the impossible.
I wouldn’t recommend most people to follow Goggins’ footsteps, but it’s a must read to leverage our dark side.
If I had to choose a tagline for the book, it would be this:
On a quest to find the most uncommon people that ever lived, Goggins became the most uncommon man in the world.
If you ache for doing the same, Hurt Me will show you that path.
- Bullet Summary
- Full Summary
- Unshackle Your Mind
- Mission 1: Write Down All Your Difficulties
- Mission 2: Own The Truth of Your Shortcomings
- Mission 3: Do All The Things That Make You Uncomfortable
- Mission 4: Choose Any Competitive Situation, Pick Your Opponent & Beat Them With Excellence
- Mission 5: Visualize & Include Challenges, Why You’re Doing It, What’s The Fuel
- Mission 6: Build Your Cookie Jar of Accomplishments & Use For Motivation
- Mission 7: Remove the Governor From Your Brain With Constant Incremental Growth
- Mission 8: Schedule Your Life to Make The Most Out of Your Life
- Mission 9: Sustain Greatness by Staying in Constant Pursuit
- Mission 10: Write All Failures, Learn From Them & Go At It Again
- David Goggins & God
- Real Life Applications
- When you’re thinking of quitting: accept the pain and refuse quitting as a possibility
- Push yourself daily to do what you don’t want to do
- Week after week expand the limits of your comfort zone little by little
- Use enemies and hardships as fuel for your motivation
David Goggins opens “Can’t Hurt Me” saying that life is unfair and the sooner you accept the sooner you can prepare for it.
The best way to approach it is with a “Can’t Hurt Me” mentality.
Goggins says he was the ultimate underdog and the weakest man. And to survive, he had to develop his own mindset.
He wasn’t looking for money, fame or even a pat in the back. He was looking for fulfillment. And the only way to find was within himself -by going to war with himself-.
Unshackle Your Mind
David Goggins says:
You are in danger of living a life that is so soft and comfortable that you will never realize your true potential.David Goggins
“Can’t Hurt Me” is David Goggins’ solution to push your boundaries and help you meet your true potential.
Mission 1: Write Down All Your Difficulties
David Goggins tells the story of his abusive father –general style of abusive by my own estimation-.
And it exhorts readers to do the same: take stock of all the difficulties and hardships you faced -and face- in life. Including, he says, if you had too easy a life so far and never had to push yourself..
Because, as he says, “you are going to flip that shit” (ie.: use your limiting factorsto fuel your hunger and success).
I also particularly liked this quote of Goggins as he tells the story of his “solution” to school problems by cheating:
I started cheating my ass off (…).
It worked. (…)
I thought I solved the problem while I created new ones by taking the path of least resistanceDavid Goggins
Mission 2: Own The Truth of Your Shortcomings
Goggins talks about moving out with his mother to escape his abusive father.
He talks about racial hatred, money problems and the “mask of coolness” he wore as a teenager to hide his insecurities.
The author says that our mind will always follow the path of last resistance and unless you learn to beat your own mind, it will always keep you “safe and stationary in life”.
In this chapter he says you must brutally honest with yourself. Don’t tell yourself you’re “plumb” and that it’s OK to be overweight if deep down you’d like to be slim.
Tell yourself you’re fat.
Any self-improvement starts with brutal honesty.
Mission 3: Do All The Things That Make You Uncomfortable
In this chapter David Goggins talks about pulling out of military training out of medical reasons.
Diagnosed with sickle cells, he had a choice of staying in the training of quitting. And, faced with the first obstacle, he used the excuse to quit.
Officially, he didn’t quit, but deep down, he knew the truth. And that bothered him and undermined his confidence.
If that would reply today, when he learned to control his mind, he says that “he woudln’t give two f*cks about sickle cells”.
This is the chapter where Goggins sees an advertising for Navy SEALs and realizes that there can be answers in suffering.
That was the first time in a long time that he was alive.
Goggins says you must do something that makes you uncomfortable and something that you don’t want to do every day.
Even if that’s doing your bed, ironing your clothes or waking up early and going for a run.
Start small, then slowly build up.
That’s how you callous your mind.
Mission 4: Choose Any Competitive Situation, Pick Your Opponent & Beat Them With Excellence
Here Goggins talks about BUD and SEAL training.
He says that everything is a mind game. SEAL training is a mind game and people don’t realize the gaming part in it until it’s too late and they quit.
What’s the mind game?
The mind game is that all pain eventually ends. And when you can understand that, it then becomes only a matter of enduring long enough.
Beating them with excellence delivering what they thought was impossible and showing yourself at your best while they are at their worst is what Goggins refers to as “taking their soul”.
My Note: here is where Goggins steals the schedule file for hell week. Not cool in my opinion. And he does it with the other only black guy in the crew BTW, definitely not helping the stereotypes there.
Mission 5: Visualize & Include Challenges, Why You’re Doing It, What’s The Fuel
Goggins says that SEAL training is about showing that you can handle much more than you think you can, and with that comes a change in mentality.
Goggins says that the callous mind can help you overcome the toughest moments.
Remembering what you’ve been through and how that strengthen your mindset can help you bypass the negative thought loops that kick in when you want to give in.
But when you accept the pain and refuse to give in or give up you engage the sympathetic nervous system -your fight or flight response- to change hormonal flow. It’s similarly to when you don’t want to run but then you go anyway and you enjoy it, and the author says that you can tap on that switch on call.
The reason why you want to push the hardest when you want to quit the most is because it helps you callous your mind.
You want to get to a point where not doing the things that you know you should haunts you.
If you didn’t go for a run on a given day, you want in the evening to be bothered by it. If you skip what you were supposed to be doing and it doesn’t bother you, you’re not there yet.
When you visualize you might want to visualize the final success, but it’s important you also include the challenges, the reason why you’re doing it, the darkness which is fueling you.
You need to have those answers to be ready when the difficulties will inevitably arise.
David Goggins says that to answers those questions you might want to slow down during intense exercise to think more clearly and then re-accelerate again.
Mission 6: Build Your Cookie Jar of Accomplishments & Use For Motivation
In this chapter Goggins talks about pain as his reward for finishing the race. The pain was the reminder that he had done it, and he was proving to himself how strong and callous he was becoming.
In the most painful time of my life I saw the most beauty.David Goggins
He introduces his concept of “cookie jar”, which is the place where you put all of your victories and all the times when you show resilience and mental callousness.
When you need motivation, you can open the bookie jar and remind yourself of all the great things you have accomplished.
The cookie jar is not to make yourself feel good, it’s to remind yourself what a badass yo are so that you can use that energy when you need it.
Mission 7: Remove the Governor From Your Brain With Constant Incremental Growth
Goggins introduces here the 40% rule. It means that when most of us feel like we are hitting our limits we are only at around 40%.
But unless we learn to stay in the pain and push beyond the discomfort we will always fall very short of our true potential.
Goggins says that once we hit 40% we still have 60% to go. That might be true in very nominal terms but it’s mathematically wrong.
From 40% to the whole (100%), it’s not 60% because it’s more than double.
Mission 8: Schedule Your Life to Make The Most Out of Your Life
This chapter and the next were extremely interesting for a critical look into special operation groups.
Most people have a huge overblown image of special operations such as the Navy SEALs.
Goggins shows that they are more normal than most people would guess. They were living rather mainstream, Goggins says, a bit like the “accomplished Harvard” of the military.
Most of them after BUDs didn’t want to test themselves by starting from zero. They’d rather hit the gym to get big instead pushing themselves to the limit.
The author also implies some racism in the forces, reflecting that people are just people in whichever organization they are -he says he met Michael Jordan in his prime and it was a huge revelation when he realized he was just another human being-.
David Goggins was not interested in being the “aristocracy of the military”. Settling down comfortably was not what he was looking for and that’s why he went into ultra-marathons.
His stories are quite crazy here and the author encourages the readers to squeeze as much as possible from their day.
A 40h workweek is a 40% effort he says, and that’s mediocrity.
The best way to overcome anything in life is to become a master of what you’re afraid of.David Goggins
Become a master of your insecurities.
Mission 9: Sustain Greatness by Staying in Constant Pursuit
Goggins here shows the mindset of the underdog in the military. When his feedback said he could had been more gregarious he reflects that indeed he was not “one of the boys”.
Of course I wasn’t, he says, I came from nothing.
He thought that because he made it anyway, he was part of the group. But he realized he was part of the teams, not the brotherhood.
But Goggins uses the evaluation to swing in the opposite direction; if he was uncommon also among the uncommons, “so the f*ck be it”.
My Note: to me this shows the strength and the drive that comes from the undergo, “not belonging” mindset.
Goggins goes to ranger school here and compares it with the SEALs, which makes it mandatory reading for anyone interested in special operations in the US.
Finally, he talks about overachiever mindset. He says that the over-achievers focus on what they didn’t win, what they didn’t manage and what they missed. Even when they won hugely in their careers.
It’s easy to stand out among every day people and be a big fish in small pond. It’s much more difficult when you’re a wolf, surrounded by wolves.
Torch the complacency you feel gathering around you, continue to put obstacles in front of yourself because that’s where you will find the friction that will help you grow even stronger.
Before you know it, you will stand alone.
#Can’tHurtMe #UncommonAmongstUncommonDavid Goggins
Mission 10: Write All Failures, Learn From Them & Go At It Again
This chapter deals with Goggins quest to beat the pull up world record, including his failures.
And to failures this chapter is dedicated to.
In the last chapter, Goggins talks about naysayers and jealousy from friends and family –frenemies-.
Your successes are dangerous to them. But if they are good, they will use as motivation to move forward.
And he wants to exceed even God’s expectations of what he thought Goggins was capable of.
David Goggins & God
Finally, Goggins talks about his view of life, including spirituality. He believes in a God who knows everything and holds everyone accountable.
His biggest fear was not living to his full potential when he will meet his creator.You can't find peace without going to war with yourself. Click To Tweet
Real Life Applications
There is a lot
Take Pride in Suffering
Goggins, like Mel Robins, says that motivation is cr@p. I mostly agree with it. Much better instead is building your whole ego and self-esteem around proven strategies that help you move forward.
Taking pride in your ability to suffer and endure is one such great techniques.
Also read: the antifragile ego.
Triple Down On Your Weaknesses
Now this is counter-intuitive recommendation as most authors these days recommend people to focus on your strength.
And that’s the best approach from a point of view of maximizing your effort and output. But if you want to callous your mind and strengthen your resolve, then focusing on weaknesses is best.
The Mind Game of Endurance: All Pain Ends
David Goggins says that people who quit the BUD training for SEALs fell for the illusion that pain would never stop.
But it does. It always does. It’s difficult to realize it though during the peak of pain. And that’s the mind game of endurance: taking yourself out of the pain experience in itself until you can out last it.
Leaders Shouldn’t Show Weakness
David Goggins says that leaders can’t show weakness.
I don’t think that’s always true, but it’s often true. and it’s a good reminder after the concept of “vulnerability” as become so popular thanks to Brene Brown (Daring Greatly & The Gifts of Imperfection).
Also read: vulnerability is not (always) power.
Admit Your Fears & Insecurities to Get Stronger
We go back to the positive elements of vulnerability here.
Admitting your fears and wekanesses allows you to gain more strength and confidence.
I absolutely loved “Can’t Hurt Me”, and of course there are also many points I didn’t agree with:
Dark Approach to Self-Development & Life
Goggins comes from a dark place ans his coping mechanism is more darkness.
Similar as to what Robert Greene says in The Laws of Human Nature I believe we need to learn and embrace our dark side. I believe it’s necessary in the world (to be good you must first be bad) and helpful in life.
But I also think it that when darkness and anger are your only drivers, then you are not using darkness but your are being used by them.
And there are other options in life, even for people with goggins’ background. Tony Robbins had similar abusive experiences as a child but turned super successful with a much more positive view on life. Forced to choose, I’d recommend the Robbins way.
Life Will F*ck You Up
In the first opening statement David Goggins says that life is unfair and it will “f*ck you up”. And the sooner you accept it, the sooner you can start preparing for it.
I disagree with that attitude.
Bellicose Approach to Self-Development
Even when talking about his own mind, David Goggins makes it into an enemy. He says that “our mind has a tactical advantage” and he had to “go to war with himself”.
Of course that makes sense in some ways… Yet, the metaphors you choose and the way you look at things will shape how you feel. And I am not a big fan of the “war with yourself” approach.
Bellicose Approach to Others
Goggins talks about BUD instructors as his enemies and “taking their souls”. I believe that mindset can be helpful but, as Goggins himself will admit, can also put you on the collision paths with many people around.
And that, as Goggins realizes with deep self-awareness, also cost him dearly at times.
There was another moment which was very telling of Goggins’ too bellicose approach in my opinion. He is sitting at a doctor’s office talking about his diagnosis, and he says he didn’t want to show fear to avoid “showing his cards”. I know that feeling, I know it very well and I’ve been through it as well. But it’s not a healthy approach in my opinion: the doctor is supposed to help, there is no point of thinking of him as an enemy.
Continuous References to War
Similar to the above, David Goggins uses bellicose, war-life references for everything.
Talking about life he says “winning the game of war”.
Is life a war? Are we in a war? I don’t think so.
It can be a helpful mindset to use in specific and time-limited situations, but not for ever.
Cheating to Cut Corners: Not Cool For Someone Who Wants to Be An Example
David Goggins earned my respect when he said that by cheating in school he was actually hurting himself.
But he lost it later on when he rather proudly tells the story of him and his other buddy stealing the schedule of hell week from the instructors.
A little later in the 6th chapter he shares the story of two friends of his who cheated by impersonating each other.
For a man who presents himself as an example to follow, that wasn’t cool in my opinion.
Becoming The Best is Shallow… Is It?
In the discussion during the audiobook production Goggins and the (excellent) reader say that “becoming the best at something is shallow.
What they meant is that it doesn’t necessarily help you become a better and more rounded person.
Yet I need to make it a note that becoming the best at one of your strength is not shallow. It’s smart.
Drive or.. Masochism?
At a certain point, as Goggins describes in details all his body punishments and his reveling in pain, I had to wonder if it wasn’t just too much.
I see pain as a necessity to achieve something bigger, but at times it felt that it was pain for pain’s sake.
Sure, building a callous mind, but… I’d rather go through pain for as many benefits as possible.
“Can’t Hurt Me” is one of the best books on turning pain and difficulties into fire and fuel to forge ahead.
Also one of the best books for operating at the limits of our capabilities and, ultimately, a great book to understand the mindset and psychology of the people who never stop and always ache for more.
In that sense, it’s a great read back to back with Relentless.
I give Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins 5 stars out of 5, which I give to very few books.
However, I would like to warn the readers again that this is a path that I do not recommend to most people.
I think it’s too dark and combative. And yes, darkness is an important fuel to achieve super big in life, but it should not take over your life.
Use 20% darkness to give you a boost and for the rest be motivated by beauty.
Keep that in mind and enjoy Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins.
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