Charisma University is Charlie Houpert’s course on social skills.
The goal of Charisma University is to increase your social skills and teach you how to become more charismatic.
This is a review of Charisma University.
About The Author
Charlie Houpert is the founder of the YouTube channel Charisma on Command and he has already written a book on charisma called, guess how, Charisma on Command. Charlie majored in philosophy and it seems like he started off dabbling as a dating coach.
Charlie says he went from introvert to charismatic extroverted.
That might be. But I’m not convinced that’s the case. Going from introvert to extrovert is rare -and we might argue if that’s even something an introvert would want to do-.
Maybe he was a shy extrovert, an ambivert or he simply learned to “act like an extrovert” over some periods of time (edit: watching their podcast, it seems like he learned to act as an extrovert indeed).
Introversion is a relevant subject when discussing Charisma University and Charlie’s approach. As we will see, what he recommends is the extrovert, high-energy approach to socialization -the far end of extroversion-.
- 1. First Impressions
- 2. Confidence
- 3. Expert Conversation
- 4. Storytelling
- 5. Magnetic presence
- 6. Leadership
- Charisma University REVIEW
1. First Impressions
The first rule of first impressions is to not try to impress.
Charlie says you must hit 4 key emotions to make a great first impression:
- Positivity (light-hearted, fun)
- Show interest
My Note: Good points, not sure about the order
Charlie says you must hit them in the order or you’re in trouble. I like the idea of forming a strong “social foundation” before you show interest. Early interest might otherwise seem phony or might even be unwanted.
However, I am not a big fan of segmenting socialization into pre-defined “steps” that one must hit for success -it reminds me of The Mystery Method in seduction-.
Reality is complex and all components co-exist and overlap. Beginners who try to focus on the steps to hit one after the other might get stuck in their own head and end up being even more confused.
Examples of First Impressions
I love the format of showing examples. That’s what helps people understand the abstract concepts and bridge the gap from theory to real-life practice.
However, frankly, I really didn’t like the examples of first impressions in Charisma University.
Here they are:
- Obama First Impression
This should be the example of a charismatic way of dealing with people:
To me this not an example of a gregarious or charismatic man.
Obama comes across as haughty, distant and rude. His “touches” are way too aggressive.
If he had done that to me, I would have been annoyed and would have pushed back to enforce my boundaries.
- Jennifer Lawrence & Charismatic Vulnerability
Charlie makes the point in Charisma University that revealing a weakness early makes you likable and charismatic.
However, vulnerability expressed too early in an interaction can easily come across as out of place, insecure and socially awkward.
Yes, it can give you some brownie points in making you more likable and relatable if you are very high value. But that’s hardly more charismatic and definitely not powerful.
Also read: vulnerability is NOT power.
Charlie Houpert takes a book out of Tony Robbin’s book, rather literally, Awaken The Giant Within and duly gives proper credit.
The exercise for confidence is as follows:
- Think of a time you felt great (or think of someone feeling great)
- Move like when you felt great
- Repeat to yourself an incantation (ie.: “I’m a fucking god”)
But it was a good module and I really loved the example of the student who stopped all his classmates from cheating.
3. Expert Conversation
Charlie presents a few good ground rules on having good conversations:
- Don’t think you need to have a master plan
- Don’t filter yourself and just say what you think: the more you talk, the more “ammo” for conversation
- Make people laugh faster
- Go deeper faster and discuss things people relate the hardest (values, motivations, emotions)
- Use you’re your body more (gesticulate on a wider plane)
I also liked Charlie Houpert’s analysis of verbal expressions and body language mismatch.
For example, if you approach someone fully frontal, you must say introduce yourself directly or cut to the chase about what you want, else you look incongruent.
Example of Great Conversation
Again I have to disagree with what Charlie presents as “charismatic”.
Here is the Will Smith example:
This might be funny in a sort of “over the top way”, but I must wonder if this is charismatic.
And, unless you’re going for a jester style of social dominance, this is far from powerful.
- Chris Rock & Laughing at Own’s Jokes
Chris Rock is another example of great conversations in Charisma University.
Charisma University’s module on storytelling was by far my favorite.
Storytelling is one of my weaknesses and I learned a lot here.
The mindset of telling a story, says Charlie Houpert, is not to go from A to Z, but to adjust along the way depending on the attention you get and what the audience likes.
Here are some good advice on telling a powerful riveting story:
- Find an overarching question underpinning your story (ie.: “what happens?” or ” who was that guy stalking you”?)
- Drop a line to capture attention (ie.: “oh my God, the craziest thing happened to me last time” or “you’re gonna love this one guys”)
- Tell the story in the present tense
- Rising action: anything you say must contribute to the main point (ie.: If you’re telling a story of walking down an alley and are afraid, everything you say must be contributing to that suspense, for example by describing your feeling and your shaking motions)
- Expand the climax (don’t rush through the climax but expand it)
- Wrap up (a piece of advice, a lesson learned or a little joke)
Charlie also differentiates between three different types of stories: the fun stories, the tragic stories, and the stories about yourself.
The tragic stories are slower and have lots of pauses to let the emotions sink in.
The happy and fun stories are fast-paced and punctuated by laughter and different and rising voice tonalities.
Stories about yourself serve the purpose of giving you credibility or of making the audience like you and respect you.
5. Magnetic presence
For magnetic presence comfort, confidence and power are crucial, says Charlie Houpert.
He stresses the importance of posture -his tip: imagine a hook pulling you up- and voice -he has one single voice exercise but I loved it-.
Another couple more great ideas:
- Moving people from one level of energy to the other sets you as the person who sets the tone of the interaction
- Touch people more and let your hand linger for 1 or 2 seconds (example of the alpha female Oprah Winfrey)
Example of Magnetic Presence
Once again, I was not convinced by Charlie’s Example of magnetic presence.
Which makes sense, because Charlie’s examples are mostly of “over the top” personalities and I don’t believe that’s the only way -or the best way- of being charismatic -or socially powerful-.
Just see the example of magnetic presence in “Charisma University” for yourself and you’ll immediately understand what I mean:
To be fair, Charlie Houpert does say that you can be magnetic with lower energy.
But most of his examples are high-energy. He even mentions that Marlon Brando’s magnetic low energy charisma works only because it’s scripted.
With that, I must disagree.
- The Godfather analysis (a typical “low energy” charismatic man)
- Signs of social power
- Dominance archetypes
This is the module I probably enjoyed the least.
The leadership module is mostly one type of leadership: inspirational leadership.
And the rest is about how to better understand people which is basically a summary of Tony Robbins’ Creating Lasting Change.
Tony Robbins material is great, but I expected better or at least different insights. New examples, new breakdowns, new case studies of great -or failed- leadership and lessons learned.
Also, I loved Tony Robbins’ approach to analyzing and understanding people based on the six human needs.
But, as per all other systems designed to reduce the complexity of reality, it can end up being a generalization that can derail your analyses if you only use it by itself.
And there are many more and equally valid systems. To give you an example:
- Tony Robbins says that people can be analyzed based on the 6 human needs
- Vanessa van Edwards says that the Big Five personality traits (OCEAN) are the most reliable framework to understand people.
- Several other authors of social skills products swear by the Myers-Briggis
- And Dave Kerpen, author of The Art of People, says that Myers-Briggis sucks and that the Enneagram of Personality is the real deal
Of course they are all right.
And they are all wrong in the sense that each system has its own limitation.
Back to leadership, to learn more about leadership:
I enjoyed Charisma University, and these are the cons for how I see social skills:
Power Beats Charisma (Charlie Admitted)
Ultimately, my main “con” comes down to this.
There is obviously much overlap between charisma and power.
Yet, we can draw a demarcation line between power and charisma.
And to me, charisma is only a tiny fraction of power. And it’s let’s effective than power.
Charlie hinted so himself on his podcast.
Charlie and Ben talk about the elements that make you attractive, and this is what he says:
Charlie: At the highest levels it’s the one that people respond most strongly and to the exclusion of the other two. If yu are rich and powerful you can be a jerk and you don’t need to be physically attractive and people will still flock to you. That is all true. We tried to focus on the one that we decided to personality
Ben then says that charisma / personality is the quickest to change.
But I disagree. I think it takes pretty much the same amount of time to become (socially) powerful.
Charismatic but Powerless Will Smith
Take Will Smith for example, who is hailed as a charisma master by Charlie.
Well, Will Smith may be charismatic. And yet he was disempowered, publicly shamed, and potentially manipulated by his cheating ex-wife.
To me that type of charisma is useless.
I’d rather have the power dynamics knowledge, drive, self-respect and skills to re-empower myself, set stronger boundaries, and maintain a good status and reputation in life.
One-Sided Representation of Charisma (High Energy)
As Olivia Fox Cabane, author of The Charisma Myth says, there are many different ways of being charismatic.
Charlie seems to favor one only way of being charismatic in this course: loud, extroverted, and high energy.
I was surprised, to be frank, because that’s not what he says in his YouTube breakdowns, which often find me nodding in agreement.
Same tactics for both men and women?
Charisma University is the same for both men and women.
Interestingly, Charlie and Ben say that most of it is applicable across cultures, and to both men and women:
I agree with the intercultural aspect.
As a matter of fact, this website published an article with the provocative title of “intercultural communication is a waste of time“.
I don’t fully agree that the same social-skills advice applies to both men and women though.
Women who talk louder and touch more can lose in femininity, potentially gaining power but losing in both likability and acceptance.
In the beginning when Power University wasn’t differentiating between men and women a female student wrote this to me:
And I had to agree: I couldn’t provide the same advice for men and women.
So since then, Power University has some lessons specifically for women.
Charisma is slightly different than power though, so I convene that there is more overlap between and women.
Sometimes High-Energy & Reactions Over Results
As a rule of thumb:
High-energy folks tend to get more good reactions.
But higher power folks tend to get more results.
See an example on Charisma University sales page:
When women get too touchy, they might like you, but they more often like you as a friend.
Plus, they also feel higher power, and in control. Indeed, touching and bear-hugging people are an example of what in Power University I define as “babying power move”.
Women don’t usually run to bear-hug men whom they respect and are attracted for their high-power.
For more on power and charisma on command, see this breakdown:
Some Low-Quality Videos Examples
Some video examples and breakdowns were from rather low-quality videos.
As a guy who constantly struggles to find high-quality videos to use as examples, I know how hard it can be.
Still, I’d have preferred fewer low-quality videos.
Could Be Deeper on Some Crucial Aspects of Social Skills
Charlie touches upon some of the basics of posture, voice, and clothing.
And of course, Charisma University is not meant to provide in-depth information on those topics. Yet, given how important they are, I think they deserved more space than what they actually got.
After all, that’s what often makes the biggest difference for beginners: the fundamentals.
Here are the pros of Charisma University:
- Lots of Examples
Charisma university has lots of real-life examples and good breakdowns. Just as I like it.
- Good Overview
The course provides a good crash course overview of social skills, especially for those who have a style similar to Charlie Houpert (or want to have a similar style).
- Charlie Communicates Super Clearly
Charlie could be dubbed the “explanator in command”. He has a knack for taking abstract thoughts and communicating them clearly for everyone to understand.
Personally, even more, the already good course content, I learned the most from his way of speaking.
Charisma University REVIEW
I absolutely loved the format of mixing own videos with examples.
And it’s exactly what Power University does (plus examples, pictures, and quizzes).
I also enjoyed Charisma University’s content, it’s good for the basics and I loved the module on storytelling. Charlie is also a master public speaker, and you can learn from Charlie himself as much as from his own examples.
Maybe it’s time someone makes a YouTube breakdown on “how to be charismatic like Charlie Houpert” :).
On the con side, I didn’t agree with the overarching theme that charisma and social success require high energy.
I was surprised Charisma University clings to the high-energy style, because the YouTube Channel has several examples of non-high-energy, higher-power folks.
But those different styles weren’t represented in Charisma University.
It seems like Charlie Houpert teaches Charlie Houpert’s path to charisma.
Like researcher Elaine Aron says: most social skills courses and books are sold by high-energy extroverts, who teach the high-energy extrovert way to social skills.
But that might not be the best solution for everyone.
In my opinion, Charisma University is a better fit for people who want to acquire a more lively, “bouncing off the wall” type of personality.
Still, introverts can learn something from that super extrovert style -and they probably should learn to act extroverted!-.
Sometimes in life, it just pays to be more extroverted and higher energy. And the more tools you got in your toolset, the better off you are.
However, I don’t think lower-energy folks should try to change their nature to become what they’re not, because they can find social success within their own styles (plus, going against one’s own nature requires lots of effort for uncertain results).
This is something that different personality types who go through Charisma University should keep in mind: you don’t have to become like Charlie, or like his examples, to be successful.
Introverts, seductive, highly sensitive, quieter, charming, or slow-moving individuals, they all can leverage their own strengths.
More Power With Lower Energy
It’s not about changing your nature, but finding the strengths in the style that more closely match their nature.
See for example the 7 archetypes of dominance, and you will see that one can be dominant and high-status in totally different ways.
Is Charisma University Legit?
Of course Charisma University is legit.
Charlie Houpert shares well-known and time-tested tips and techniques for improving social skills.
The real question is not whether or not Charisma University is legit, but whether or not it’s right for you.
And, of course, whether or you’ll become charismatic right after you go through it
And the answer to the latter is “no, you will not”.
And it’s the same for any course.
You won’t come out of my course and be a master of dating, power dynamics, and office politics as soon as you’re done.
But, a good course can give you the knowledge and theoretical foundation.
And gives you advice on what to work on.
That’s a lot, actually. The rest though is up to you.
And when it comes to that theoretical foundation, I would give to the content of Charisma University a 4-star rating.
But everything is subjective.
For people who are struggling with social skills, Charisma University’s content might be worth 5 stars.
And finally, for me personally, as a more advanced student of human nature, I was seeking and expecting a bit more refinement and depth, and that takes it to 3 stars.
Is Charisma University Worth It?
And now the big question: is Charisma University worth it?
I find this question spurious.
Whether it’s worth it or not it depends on your current social skills, social intelligence, and your financial situation.
A millionaire with low emotional intelligence and social skills better run and start it right away.
A guy who’s already been into self-development for a while, with an average income, OK social skills, and who doesn’t like the “over the top style”… You will have to answer for yourself.
BUT… They offer a money-back guarantee. And they strike me as very honest guys. So I’d stick my neck out and say that you can trust them, and that you can try it at no risk.
Coming Out: I Took Charisma’s Sales Page!
I didn’t have much resources when first launching this website.
So instead of hiring a copywriter and doing everything from scratch… I took Charisma University’s sales page, and adapted it.
I would understand if Charlie and Ben felt annoyed by it.
Personally, I thinkg it’s morally and ethically fair.
The sales page matters little, and the two courses are very different from each other.
See Power University here: