Charlie Houpert and Ben Altman built Charisma on Command into one of YouTube’s biggest channels on charisma and social skills improvement. Millions followed their breakdowns of leaders, celebrities, and social dynamics.
But in 2022, the partnership collapsed. The podcast ended, Charlie walked away from the channel, and fans started asking: What happened between charisma on command founders?
In this article, we’ll break down the story of Ben and Charlie’s fallout—the friendship, the business split, and the power dynamics behind it all—plus the lessons ambitious men can apply to their own lives.
Contents
Intro: Charisma on Command Story
Charlie Houpert and Ben Altman are the founders of Charisma on Command, with a 50/50 ownership split.
They had been close friends since high school, staying in touch daily even while attending different colleges.
Eventually, after reading The 4-hour Work Week, they quit their job and moved to Brazil looking for adventures and a digital business to enjoy a life of freedom.
Charlie and Ben were best friends sharing business and having fun
YouTube Success
They blogged first, but switched to videos when they noticed better traction for their early breakdowns.
It was good timing for YouTube and viral videos on Conor McGregor and Trump’s 2016 campaign helped the channel blow past one million subscribers.
They monetized ads in different languages with a 50/50 split with local translators, and then later launched their course Charisma University.
Later Charlie released Emotional Mastery, but Charisma University remained their main draw.
Things were going great for Charisma on Command and in 2019 they launched a podcast as a side project originally called ‘Ben and Charlie Podcast’.
Watching their podcast I learned more about the social power dynamics between the two, and the business side of things.
The Split
Charlie and Ben had a major fallout in 2022 -Sep 10, 2022 was their last podcast together-.
On Nov 19, 2022, Charlie released an updated video announcing their split.
Charlie said that he took over their ‘Ben and Charlie Podcast’ and renamed it ‘Dropping In Podcast‘.
After listening to many interviews and ‘reading between the lines’, I concluded that Charlie thought he was contributing more, while some of Ben’s projects didn’t deliver.
However, he couldn’t get Ben to agree or budge on the topic.
They both kept ownership of Charisma on Command -no mention of the split, but probably 50/50-.
Charlie said that ‘Ben would keep working on Charisma on Command’.
Charisma on Command Without Charlie
Charlie made what seemed to be his last voiceover on Apr 25, 2023 -albeit those may have been pre-recorded-.
After that, Charlie stopped working on the main channel and all voiceovers are from Ben.
Several of Ben’s videos had many views, passing the 1 million and 2 million mark at times, but Charlie confessed he rarely even watched them as it they didn’t align with his preferences.
We can speculate Ben wasn’t happy either to do most of the work without Charlie’s contribution and with a 50/50 split.
The channel then ground to a halt in November 2023.
Expressions like ‘BFF‘, ‘meeting you was one of the best things that has ever happened to me,’ and ‘the next 30 years will be even better,’ may suggest some anxious attachment, dependence, and idealization.
Charisma on Command Is Back Without Ben
On Jan 7, 2025, Charlie published a new announcement video on Charisma on Command.
Charlie and Ben couldn’t find an agreement for a long time as Ben demanded more than Charlie was willing to pay and Charlie was negotiating with safety guarantees.
Eventually though Charlie dropped the guarantees requests, and was coached to go for a ‘shotgun’ approach where both cofounders wrote a price they’d be willing to sell for.
Now that Charlie wasn’t chasing the purchase anymore, Ben came down in price and Charlie was finally able to purchase Charisma on Command.
Charlie is now back as the sole owner of Charisma on Command.
This post analyses Charlie’s announcement video for power dynamics, and lessons learned to navigate friendships and business relationships.
Why Charlie Left Charisma On Command
This is Charlie’s original video.
Below we quote relevant parts and in blue we add our ‘read between the lines’ comments.
Charlie: I was actually feeling (…) under supported in work
🟰 Charlie felt he was doing all the work
Charlie: (…)
a deep lack of alignment and how we felt we’d each contributed to the business
(…)
To add up responsibility for something that didn’t go well, we would not add up to 100%
(…)
And if there was credit to be taken (…) was greater than 100%
🟰 Charlie felt he was driving the business, potentially as the ‘socially aware’ mind behind the analyses.
Something we noticed here and with some teacher frames
Charlie: I started noticing something about myself that I didn’t like (…) I was being unkind (…) resentments from business issues and things I hadn’t addressed in our friendship were surfacing
🟰 Charlie bottled up resentment without speaking up, leading to aggressive and passive aggressive behavior. This is normal when you bottle up
Potentially, they were different and started growing further apart
Charlie: I allowed that resentment to build inside of me until I just snapped and said I don’t want to talk anymore and that was about two years ago
🟰 Charlie broke the friendship ‘cold turkey’, and that possibly precluded better win-win resolutions
Charlie: I stopped making videos in an attempt (…) to like let him catch to the contribution that I felt I had (…) kneecapping my own creative instinct
🟰 Charlie stepped back to ‘send Ben a message’ and rebalance the power dynamics
Charlie felt he gave too much and wanted Ben to make amends and re-empower him. That would also give him negotiation leverage.
It’s understandable: when you feel like the ‘sucker’ in a win-lose situation, you seek re-negotiation. However, this approach led to a lose-lose.
Good & Strategic Statements
Charlie is not a social beginner.
And he sprinkled in some ‘power protecting’ elements to respect Ben, and some ‘hedging statements’ to avoid being an as*hole.
For example:
- Without saying that my perception is objectively correct <— Allows him to share he felt he did most of the work, without sounding like he’s badmouthing Ben 👍🏼
- I’m very very happy for him <— Empathic statement 👍🏼
In some other cases Charlie may have been more careful:
Possible Power Moves
Charlie: he started living a life that was much more in line with what I think he would have gone without my influence
📣🟰 I was more influential, HE adapted to me, not the other way around
Probably Charlie wanted to self-deprecate and suggest he was a negative influence.
But it still disempowers the receiver if you suggest that he let others sidetrack him from what he wants.
Charlie: he may decide to make something (…) I will tell you guys I want you guys to be able to find him (…)
just because I don’t necessarily want to do it with him anymore does not mean that I don’t want the world to hear his voice
📣🟰 I ended it (because I didn’t want to work him) and bought him out. He has no audience now, he needs me to have his voice heard, which I magnanimously will allow him to (but if I don’t, you’ll never hear from him)
I’d have avoided this.
The ‘just because I don’t necessarily want to do it with him’ can feel dismissive.
And the ‘charitable’ give almost always disempowers others because you only direct charity to those struggling and (far) below you.
Just for you to understand the power dynamics, the empowered mindset would think: what if Ben instead doesn’t need Charlie’s shout-out because he’d do awesome work, succeeding by his own merit?
Or start something totally different because he has many talents?
Lessons Learned
Some lessons learned from this:
In Friendship & Business
To keep positive and win-win friendships and partnerships:
1. Speak up early to avoid stewing
We had long noticed Charlie’s passive-aggression towards Ben.
For example, here, here, and in this video:
Charlie: (laughs at Ben) <— Possible passive-aggressive behavior
Ben: (effectively self-defends)
2. Speak assertively
Speak early, speak up, speak respectfully but assertively.
Also see ‘how to be assertive‘.
3. Respect your friend, especially publicly
Don’t share news that frames them poorly and they must defend against.
For example:
Charlie: When I broke up with a girlfriend, we remain friends, but you, you do scorched earth <— This undermines Ben
Ben: Not really true <— Forced to defend himself
Instead, DEFEND your friends -you act honorably, and they’ll love you for it-.
⛏️ Example here
4. When you can’t agree, buy out early
Withdrawing from a good business you love is lose-lose.
Not unlike children and divorce, you keep it civil both for you, and for the children.
Buy your partner out early.
How to Release Announcements
Overall, Charlie did a great job.
For business, he was well-spoken, used a catchy title, and seamlessly promoted his products without sounding like he was selling.
For social dynamics, he was optimistic, framed the mistakes as lessons learned, and ended on a positive note.
In Ben’s shoes though, I may not consider this a step forward towards a good friendship and mending of the relationship.
So some suggestions here:
1. Share the script with your friend first, let him greenlight it
This is the only honorable and respectful approach towards your friend.
It preserves and improves the relationship, and potentially prevents future legal troubles with more litigious men.
2. Thank your partner for his contribution
Sol in our community pointed this out first.
Even if you think you contributed more, something like this is still likely true:
Despite how I feel about our business relationship, Charisma on Command wouldn’t be where it is today without Ben
Or, at least, find something you can be grateful and thank them for.
3. Remove details that make your partner look bad
Don’t share that you both took more credit and gave the other more blame.
That’s just how human psychology works.
But when you say that in an announcement, it feels like you think your partner was the POS.
4. Remove details that make you look bad
Charlie said this:
Charlie: Until I just snapped and said I don’t want to talk anymore
How does that sound to you?
Some may feel that a more grounded, strategic, and, shall we say, ‘mature’ approach was needed.
Especially considering the long-standing friendship and partnership.
Pick your words carefully because that’s all people have to form opinions.
Who knows, Ben struck me as a great guy, but it’s possible he may not have fully appreciated Charlie’s perspective and unwittingly pushed him over the edge.
But from Charlie’s shared story HE doesn’t come out of it too well for ‘snapping’ and going cold turkey.
Instead, say this:
Charlie: I didn’t feel the relationship could continue to be mutually beneficial <— Self-respecting, mature, and empowered
and I decided it was time for at least a momentary clean-break <— High power, assertive, and masculine
This is part of a self-framing strategy.
Such as: ensure that what you say sub-communicates high-value.
Welcome Back Charlie & COC
While this analysis focuses on learning opportunities, we admire Charlie’s sharp eye for social dynamics.
We were thrilled to see his video announcement, glad to know both he and Ben are doing well, and excited that Charisma on Command is back in the game.
We believe that a rising tide lifts all boats, and Charlie and Ben significantly contributed to our niche of advanced social skills.
Their work has motivated many men to learn and work on themselves, and indirectly also benefited TPM –many alumni and readers found us via Charisma on Command–.
And it’s great that we can learn from and inspire each other. We especially appreciate creators who uphold good values, and going forward, we hope we can all give each other due credit 🦅🤞🏼.
We wish Charlie continued success, we hope to hear from Ben soon, and hope to collaborate or join Charisma on Command again for future breakdowns on YouTube.
P.S.
For a taste of our different style, check out our latest breakdown:
Learn More
If you’re looking for advanced tools to master social dynamics, influence, and leadership, Power University may work for you.
It goes beyond charisma tips to deliver comprehensive training for personal empowerment.
While Charisma University focuses more on high-energy social skills, Power University dives deeper into men’s power, gaining status and attraction, and strategies to succeed in life.
Here’s what alumni said in our forum:
Alumnus: I tried Charisma University, but the high energy style is exhausting (…) makes me come across as low power and people respect me less
And:
Alumnus: I found TPM when I looked for reviews of Charisma University. Charisma University wasn’t for me, I joined PU, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made
