There are a few common mistakes I have noticed in women when it comes to sex.
By “mistakes”, I mean that they either make the men less interested, less attracted or even less horny and less interested in having sex or in having sex again in the future.
This article will list the common sex mistakes purely based on personal experience.
Common Sex Mistakes
Here is the list of the most common sex mistakes:
1. Passionless Resistance to His Advances
The first time a couple has a sex can be a memorable moment.
And resisting a man’s advances without showing any sign of attraction is one of the most common sex mistakes women do to ruin that moment.
Resist and postpone as long as you want, but if all you do is push him away you:
- Will make him feel hurt and unwanted
- Risk he’ll self reject and write you off
- Sub-communicate you’re not into him or into sex
2. Going For His Penis Too Quickly
I was guilty for this one when I first started out:
I remember my first girlfriend proposing me we should play the doctor game.
“What the hell is she thinking”, I thought.
Then she finally admitted: I was too quick in going for her female parts. And the game was her way to teach me a more gradual build up.
*Face palm* :).
Today, several years and experiences later, I’ve been on the receiving end of “jump-start sex” more than once.
Albeit the issue is not as bad for men, it can take a lot away from the overall experiences. Especially when it repeats over time.
Note: super hot moments of tearing each other’s clothes off are an exception.
3. “Yuck” Rejections
How women rejected men can make or break a seduction:
I couple years ago I crossed path with a fellow countryman while traveling through Thailand. He liked the local women, he said, because they enjoyed oral sex.
And that was in contrast to his previous Italian girlfriends whom, he said, rejected oral sex saying “no ma che schifo“. That roughly translates with “yuck no that’s disgusting“.
However open minded a man can be, it’s never a good feeling when a woman says “Yuck” to his member :).
Of course, don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with, but a bit of tact in turning things down goes a long way.
A few other expressions to avoid:
- It smells
- It’s disgusting
- I don’t wanna do that with you
- I don’t do that on a first date
4. Talking Too Soon After Coitus
This is another relatively common one.
The first couple of minutes after coitus are one of the pleasures of life.
And it’s one of those pleasures that it’s best enjoyed and respected with the utmost silence :).
Right after he has peaked, he wants to enjoy that moment without any distraction. And if you talk to him, he might see you as a momentary nuisance or, worst, as someone who “doesn’t get him”.
Here’s a rule of thumb, then: no conversation for the first two minutes after sex. If you’re not sure, let him speak first.
Comments that don’t need a reply are allowed though.
Especially if positive:
- That was great
- I’ve never come so hard before
- God I feel good now
5. Asking If It Was OK
It’s OK asking if “it was OK”.
But it should be done with tact or you come across as needy -and you might disturb that after-coitus phase that actually bond partners together.
I was once going for anal sex with an ex girlfriend of mine. But we aborted the mission as it was a bit too painful for her.
After we were done and laying down, she asked:
Her: Is it OK for you?
(a few seconds later)
Her: Is it OK that we didn’t do it..
Asking if it was OK for him right after sex slots you as the one who has to please him. It puts him in charge and you as the subordinate.
But worst of all, it can make you come across as a bit insecure.
Now mind you, strategic weaknesses can be highly seductive.. As long as you are aware of it.
6. Assigning Morality to Sex Positions
Don’t get this wrong, you refuse whatever you’re not comfortable with.
A few women however refuse some positions -for example from the back- because they see it as “demeaning” or “unpure”.
Love, caring, compassion… These are all key traits of a relationship. And no sex position takes any of that away.
If anything, it’s refusing to do something with your partner that might diminish your bond.
And when you slot sex positions into “good” and “bad” categories, that might send the wrong message to a lot of guys out there.
- Domineering attitude (sex as a power struggle)
- Feminist brainwashing (ie.: not from the back because it’s “dominant sex”)
- Inability to lose oneself into carnal passion (rational approach)
- Possible hang ups about sex
7. Finger Interlacing During Doggy
I’m thinking here to the flat doggy style position, when the man’s hands are sometimes near the face of the woman.
Placing your hand on top of his and interlacing fingers could be seen as too cutesy at that point.
Note: this applies more strongly when you’re not in a relationship. And it changes depending on how you live sex with your partner and what “kind” of sex you’re having (more on the rougher side or more on the “sex as emotional bonding” type).
8. Dictating The Rhythm
The rule of thumb:
Woman on top, she decides the rhythm.
Other positions, man decides the rhythm.
Plenty of exceptions to the rule of course.
But it’s often off-putting when women try to dictate the rhythm. Sometimes she’s trying to do it for him, and sometimes after he’s announced that he’s about to come.
At that point, he knows best how to thrust to maximize his pleasure. As tempted as you might be to show off your pelvic mobility, it can easily end up out of sync and only take away from his pleasure (and it’s mostly about timing: I’ve experienced some skilled twerkers… Who got the timing all wrong).
Exception: if you’re in a relationship and want to learn to take it on the next level. Then learning to time each other’s pleasure can pay off handsomely.
You’ll get it wrong a few times most likely, but once you reach the perfect thrusting-timing for each other, then… Nice :).
9. Not Allowing Yourself To Let Go
This goes beyond simple “sex mistakes women do” and into a fundamental truth of many women’s life and psychology.
Men’s sexual skills are important, but even more important are her attitudes towards her body and towards sex. And her willingness and ability to let herself go correlate highly with those attitudes.
It’s indeed relatively easy to give multiple orgasms to women who have experienced orgasms before.
But it can be very difficult to give orgasms to women who’ve never had an orgasm before.
So the first, and very first thing you can do make your sex life as pleasurable as it should be, both for yourself and for him… Is to give yourself permission to.