If you are traveling around SE Asia -including Thailand-, maybe to expand your dating pool, but are not into ladyboys, you must learn how to recognize one.
Many are honest and will tell you upfront. But, unfortunately, you cannot expect everyone to do it for you.
Short-term fun and ‘Hi handsome‘. That’s all I needed.
Disclaimer: Respect transgender people like you’d respect anyone else
We stand against hate here. Men who wished they were women already have a difficult enough life.
They don’t need another ass*ole bigot making their lives even harder. That said, a minority of transgender people aren’t always forthcoming about their biological sex at birth. That lie is also not cool in our view, and this article is for these edge cases.
How To Recognize Ladyboys
Here are the major signs of a ladyboy:
1. Unrequested Pictures
These days, many biological women may also send many pictures. But it remains a signal worth exploring.
I consider too many pics, including ‘looking good & feminine’ an indicator
Also, think two steps in advance.
If there are questions later, it comes in handy if one can say, ‘but I’ve shared my pictures with you, and you liked it’.
2. Voices & Body Features
The voice will not necessarily sound masculine, but it can be “off”.
Sometimes it’s nasal, or a forced higher pitch.
Body features include:
- Height
- Square jaw
- Broad shoulders
- Straight waist
- Adam’s apple
- Hands (shape and feel)
Every other guide mentions Adam’s apple, but it never helped me much.
I have found hands to be most useful. Especially at the touch. More than single features, though, it’s general body language that’s helpful.
For a general guide that goes well beyond kathoeys, see:
3. Sexual Forwardness
Ladyboys may overdo it with their sexuality and show more than most girls would.
Some of the most obvious ones include:
- Licking a lollipop
- Straddling the couch doggie position
- Licking the rim of the glass
🙋♂️Lucio’s Experience: I should have known better
Lucio:
I was sitting with a girl most guys would consider an absolute stunner. And she flat-out denied my question and got offended that I even asked.
Little later, she volunteered to show me a video of ‘her’ in the company of a man that left little to the imagination.
I’ve crossed paths with a fair share of women, including one who recorded our session, but never has a biological girl showed me her videos having sex on a date (I never exclude anything and remain open to the possibility, though).
Fast-Moving
Women, even when they like you, tend to be coy and more reserved. Some women who really like you can even be nervous.
In my experience, the trans women I’ve encountered have sometimes moved faster, with fewer reservations
- When is she free? Right now, you silly!
- Her number? Why do you need it, I’m free now!
- Oh, you must run to meet your friends? Here is the number! When are calling me, handsome?
- Her schedule? What do you mean, I’m always free
Higher Risk-Taking Propensity
Women tend to be naturally risk-averse.
Evolution and biology nudge women to be careful around strangers, or being alone or ‘stuck’ with men.
If you don’t see those natural reservations and safety-confirming measures around the following, think about it:
- Coming to your place
- Traveling to you
- Traveling with you
Watch Out For Hotel Visits
Plenty of real women will come see you straight at your place, I know that for a fact, so don’t avoid it just out of principle.
But I highly recommend meeting outside first. This will also help prevent possible scam attempts, something you always want to be careful of.
4. Short-Term Orientation
She’s looking for short-term fun and opens with ‘Hi handsome‘. That’s all I needed to know
5. Attention-seeking Behavior
Without over-generalizing of course, but in my experience, some transgender women tend to enjoy the spotlight more than the average woman.
That includes catwalk-like entrances, hips swaying, flashy wardrobe, obvious hair flicks, and flirty signals that not even the most reclusive gamers could miss :).
6. Overly-Feminine
Her: I’m looking for a dress like this (shares a Barbie-looking dress) <— I didn’t yet know at this point, but that put a nagging doubt in my mind. When I later asked: she confirmed she wasn’t born female
Trying too hard to seem masculine or feminine often sends a certain signal. And transgender people are not an exception.
By the way, if you tend to overdo masculinity, see ‘how to be positively masculine (without being a caricature)‘.
7. Contact Info Is Available On Dating Apps
Women rarely share their contact information publicly unless it’s an IG move to gain followers (don’t you dare follow!).
So when you see numbers, WhatsApps, Telegrams or also IG where you can DM without following… Think about it.
8. ‘Modeling’
For some, in some cultures, being a model is the ‘peak’ womanhood experience (it’s not, but let’s not digress).
So I’ve noticed that ‘model,’ ‘freelance model,’ or similar descriptions show up often enough in these profiles to make me pay attention.
Whether that ‘modeling’ was a friend taking her pictures is all to be seen.
9. Evasive Replies to The Ultimate Question: “Are You Born Woman?”
I advice to ask directly when in doubt.
My rule is, when in doubt, and sometimes even not in doubt, always ask.
You’d be astonished at how often you can be wrong.
From personal experience, I’ve never had a woman or a transgender person truly get offended if you ask naturally or strategically. At first, you may get a piqued reaction, understandable. But if you hold frame well, things will not just flow smoothly. After all, you’ve just taken a risk (showing confidence) handled it well (showing competence), and just moved past a major wall to get emotionally closer.
If the first time you’re a bit queasy, you can easily spin your question into a compliment.
For example:
You: You never know here, some of the prettiest, best-dressed girls seem to be transgender people. I’m curious about you
If she’s a woman, she will likely appreciate that you’re only into women.
Bonus point for dating power dynamics: it’s a screening question, and it’s on her to pass (note: high-value men don’t think about passing shit tests; they field them).
And think about it: For that question to be relevant, you just broached the possibility that you two might be getting intimate. If she doesn’t push back on that, it’s a big green light of interest.
Three birds with a stone: a biological woman, qualifying to you, and tacitly agreeing to deepening your relationship.
Not back to us.
Any time you get evasive answers, be careful:
Similar case here, using supposedly ‘sexy’ pictures to evade the question and look attractive at the same time:
This is a common pattern. Trust it! Extra example
P.S.: These are behavioral skills that go well beyond passive reading signs.
It requires controlling frames and interactions, but with positive dominance and leadership, so others feel free to be themselves.
10. “She” Needs Lubes
This is the very final step.
Some transgender people will be fully post-op in all areas.
And after years of hormone therapy, their skin is soft, their voice is natural, and everything checks.
But depending on the surgical technique, a neovagina may not self-lubricate like a natal vagina. Hence, needing external lubricant can be one additional clue.
Thailand: An Extra Reason to Verify
There’s a saying in Italian:
Trusting is good. But not trusting is better.
Most ladyboys will tell you they are ladyboys.
Those are cool.
But some may play offended if you even ask and insist they are women. I have met them most frequently in Thailand. I’ve known some who went as far as scheduling their period and carrying tampons with them.
And many transgender people in Thailand and SE Asia in general prefer foreigners.
So as a foreigner you’re a hot target.
It’s normal sexual marketplace dynamics. As a foreigner, especially if you’re the ambitious type we serve here, you’re a stand-out minority, pre-framed as higher social status. And higher mate value = higher interest.
The Safest Approach is To Never Feel Infallible
A few guys have that bragging attitude that they’d never be fooled.
Most of those guys are the easiest to fool.
It goes beyond ladyboys and to life in general: let people think they’re too smart to be fooled and you just made it easier for anyone to fool them.
Coping Stratagem: Avoid Making Out
I often don’t make out and prefer neck and body kisses instead.
You might not agree with that, but you might want to do it in Thailand or the Philippines because none of the previous steps are foolproof.
Anybody who’s telling you they can always spot a ladyboy is lying.
Start kissing on the neck and only go all in once you’ve made 100% sure (you don’t need me to tell you how, hopefully :).
My Experience With Ladyboys
As I write this guide, I am traveling around SE Asia, probably the region with the highest concentration of ladyboys.
Like many other guys, I also had a couple of close calls.
Fortunately, I avoided the most brutal wake-up call that my buddy had. He found out after he had done pretty much everything already :S.
This was his actual text:
Him: I can’t believe it
Me: Sh*t!
Him: Absolutely beyond suspicion. Perfect voice, no Adam’s apple, soft curves. And the behavior!
‘And the behavior’, exactly. I was with him that evening, and although I hadn’t interacted with her, she just 100% looked like an attractive woman.
The Best Approach: Reading People & Dating Skills
Spotting ladyboys is just one example of a bigger skill: learning to read people.
The same skill applies to dating, business, and life decisions.
That’s the kind of skill we train inside Power University —not tricks, but judgment and strategic awareness.
And if you want to date like an elite top-1% even if you’re not great-looking, this is exactly how I’ve done it:
