Do you have a terrible boss?

Well, you have come to the right place.

Just one note: this article is not for the faint of heart.

It’s Machiavellian to the core, packed with office power moves and calculated strategies.

This article is for legitimately poor bosses who everyone benefits from removing
We do not stand for toxic behavior, dishonorable vendettas when delivering poor work, or petty grievances. We are here to help good men win. This article is for bosses who are truly toxic ‘assholes‘, high in psychopathy, despotic, only in it for themselves, and sadistic.

Basics of Dealing With a Bad Boss

The three main basics of dealing with terrible bosses are:

• Increase your power base with good work, larger and higher-value network, fallback options
• Record all of your boss’ infractions
• Make friends with your peers to ensure you’re not, and are not seen, as the problem
• Keep mental power: Control your mind to control your environment

#1. Know Your Rights

Who lets bad bosses trample on their rights? Those who don’t know their rights

Almost anywhere, there’s a large gap between what’s legal and how things are done. Fortunately, toxic bosses are often way on the wrong side of the law.
Start by knowing your legal rights, your boss’s legal rights, and, most of all, what matters in a court of law:

1. Consult a lawyer: a 200€ employment lawyer consultation can pay back 100x or more
2. Find a lawyer: before you need one. Knowing you got someone to call on will give you huge confidence. Consider getting legal insurance too
3. Research online: in the information age, the only upper limit is people’s laziness. Luckily for you, that’s quite a low bar
4. Ask: ask those who’ve already been there. Process, timelines, hurdles…?

Start today.
Research and consultation won’t take you longer than a week of easy work and it will serve you for a lifetime.

#2. Record His Policy Violations

Record all evidence of your boss’s law-breaking behavior.

For example, based on the information you gather, is it illegal in your jurisdiction to:

• Work on weekends?

If not, don’t necessarily reject his reach-outs, but record them instead.

• Work longer than 10h a day?

Log your work schedule with laptops and back up all emails you receive before and after the 10h mark that require immediate action.

• Work during holidays?

Don’t pick up the phone if he calls, but let him use emails instead.

• The big blunders

Sometimes a single big move is all it takes. For example, toxic people tend to reveal their true nature when alcohol is flowing. Many poor bosses revealed their true selves when they got sloppy at company parties.

Note:
be careful about what counts as evidence and what carries more weight.
In some countries, it’s OK to record conversations; in others, it’s illegal. Do texts count as much as emails?
That’s all info you need to know and that’s why you consult an employment lawyer within your jurisdiction.

#3. Never Seem Like A Threat

Robert Greene in The 48 Laws of Power suggests playing a sucker to catch a sucker.

If you appear overly litigious or high-strung, your manipulative boss will go underground. Instead, predators become careless when the prey is naive.

#4. Record Sick Leaves

Which enemy is easy to beat? The one the jury will hate 

If stress has become a medical liability, share your health concerns with your physician.

In most countries, you don’t report the exact illness to your employer. Don’t volunteer it. Record if he keeps chasing you while on medical leave.

#5. Keep Your Hands Clean

Which enemy is unassailable? The one you can’t see. No evidence, no case

As your toxic boss leaves evidence of his toxic behavior, you stay irreprehensible:

• BYOD: bring your own device for your personal stuff. Use work equipment only for work stuff
• Do good work, something you should always be doing anyway
• Follow all guidelines about passwords, filing processes, etc.

Lifestyle Solutions: Live On Your Terms

Right now you have problems dealing with a bad boss because you have yet to fix deeper issues in your life.

Fix those same root causes and you will fix most other problems you have.

#6. You’re Not The Boss’ Victim

Who is a victim? Him who think of himself as a victim

Let’s face it dead on.

You’re a grown-up in a free world.

Why are you a victim at all? If you’ve been at the mercy of a bad boss for too long you allowed it.
Thinking of any different else is the equivalent giving up to your oppressor the power to oppress you.

Are you really willing to give all that power over you to some frustrated mid-level manager?

Extreme ownership mentality, such as accepting that you are responsible for everything happening in your life is hard to accept at first, but once you embrace it will set you free.

Once you accept that you put yourself in a victim position it will also mean that you have the power to take yourself out of it.

Starting from now: you’re a free man in a free world, you can move at any time and you can change your circumstances however you see fit. Internalize that psychology and let’s start to give you practical options.

#7. Develop Options: Networking

Who stays a victim of bad bosses? Those with no other options

How do you stay in control of any relationship?

By not needing them.

You might want them, and you should want any relationship you’re in, but you are able to walk out and find other opportunities if the other party crosses your boundaries.

Developing options in the work environment means:

• Know everyone in your industry: meet up, events, trade shows
• Know every competitor in your city
• (Socially) seduce HR people
• Know every other boss in your organization (you could work for)

There are plenty of resources on how to network, including Ferrazzi’s “Never Eat Alone“.
But the quick tip here is to follow that suggestion: always use lunch for networking and make as many contacts as possible.

Upper-management contacts empower you to potentially have toxic bosses removed

#8. Increase Your Financial Independence

Who’s afraid of bad bosses? Those who can’t pay rent if they get sacked

Financial independence is a game-changer.

Not only to deal with abusive bosses but also for your own self-confidence and happiness.

While the capacity to generate your own income at will is invaluable, the minimal goal is much lower.
Save enough that you can survive for at least 6 months without any income.

That’s the minimum threshold to give you the confidence of standing up for yourself.

Here are some ideas for you to consider:

• Get a GF who can host you: she always wanted to move in anyway no? ;)
• Rent out space: rent (or own) a flat with several rooms and rent them out for a profit
• Save money: as simple as that, money is power. Save some power for rainy days
• Golden parachute: arrange for a good severance package, use all the legal hacks above

9. Be So Good They Can’t Sack You

Who is at the mercy of the queen? The little value adding pawns

The simplest, and possibly the most useful “hack” is as simple as that: be(come) great at what you do.

Become a Linchpin.
Be so good they can’t ignore you.

Call it however you want, but make it so that losing you is losing an invaluable member of the team.

Deliver so much value that anyone will be afraid at the thought of you leaving.
Do so much that everyone in your organization knows you’re the man.

If you take this strategy to the extreme you can become more useful to the company than your own boss is!
And when you become more useful than your boss, then you hold the power.

When that happens, guess who is actually afraid of escalating?

So don’t complain, don’t wait… Start today with a single-minded goal: become the best at what you do.

#10. Become a Hardened Target (Porcupine Strategy)

Who do bullies pick on? People who can’t defend

It doesn’t matter if you’re the biggest tiger, the king of the Savannah, or the deadliest snake on earth.

Nobody’s gonna swallow a porcupine.

Even if on paper they are less powerful porcupines make it hard -and painful- for any wannabe assailant, and that makes them strong.

Similarly, you wanna make your boss feel the sting every time he disrespects you.
That’s operant conditioning and trust that, like Pavlov’s dog, he’ll soon think twice before harassing you.

Here’s a great example:

• How to deal with a boss yelling at you

Just remember: timid reaction calls for harder put-downs. Bold moves take the fire out for good.

#11. Turn Colleagues Into Allies

Who’s easy to pick on? The lonely one with no friends

Phil Jackson said:

The biggest challenge of leadership is keeping the guys who hate you away from those who are undecided.

He is right, and that applies mostly to toxic bosses.
Make friends with others, see if they share your concerns. You don’t need to spread hatred; you simply need to put everyone on the same page.

Let them vent, but never let your complaints be bigger than theirs and never talk like a victim: victims can never be leaders.
The correct frame is this:

“This company/team has such great potential, we could do so much more with a better leader

If most of the team wants the despot gone and you remain a high-quality, honorable man, you may be ready for a promotion.

Mindsets: Thank God For The Bad Boss

Competition is often more mental than physical.

So let’s see the mental aspects of dealing with a terrible boss:

#12. You’re Free

Who’s happy in spite of everything? You!

Imagine a place where you’d like to be.

A white sand beach. A snowy mountain. A happy ending massage in Thailand. Or a sunset on the ocean.

Because you can go there. You can live that. Any time you choose. Any. Time.

Your bad boss simply doesn’t have the power to make your life miserable in a free world.

#13. Win The Mental War: Act, Don’t React

He who makes the other react controls the game.

Tim Grover says that top performers make others measure up to them, not the other way around.

Don’t ask yourself how to deal with a bad boss then, think how hard it will be for him to deal with you instead.
This is mostly a mental attitude of course.

It’s crucial not just to deal with a bad boss, but in life, that you stand guard at the gates of your mind.
Do not allow anyone to drag you down or spoil your mood. This is your mind, YOU call the shots there.

• Meditate
• Ask empowering questions
• Smile at how much better you’re becoming thanks to him

Do anything, but retain control of your mind and emotions and keep it positive and constructive.

#14. Boss? You Don’t Have a Boss!

You never have to deal with a bad boss if you never have a boss

Let’s be honest here:

Having a POS of a boss is demeaning.

Never mentally accept leadership from a dishonorable man just because his picture sits above yours in some meaningless org chart.

One of the best pieces of advice I got from Brian Tracey is that you always think of yourself as your own boss.
You are the president of your own corporation.

If you have a boss, your boss is your final result only.

You’re in:

• Sales? The customers are your boss. They’re the ones who pay you.
• Research? Are you researching to make our lives better or are you researching to please your boss? Please get your priorities straight because we really need you to be in the former category.
• Customer Relationship? Are you making your customers happy or your boss? Please the former, this world really needs people who can make our lives better.

#15. Reframe It: Your Chance To Learn

Smooth sailing won’t carry you to greatness. Harsh seas and high waves will

Let the victims of this world complain about their hard, hard life.

But not you.

In his masterpiece, The Obstacle Is The Way Ryan Holiday teaches us the Stoic art of looking at problems as opportunities.

How great would you be if you could become that kind of enlightened, resourceful man who can see the pros in the seemingly cons of life?
Because you can.

Be the man who’s glad about the hardships of his life because you know hardships are exactly what make you stronger and build your character.

A bad boss is your chance of putting into practice skills that will make you great.
Thank you, bad boss, for providing me with the chance of becoming a better man!
And thank you for this crash course on power dynamics.

Careful With General Advice

If you research online “how to deal with a bad boss” you will get, of course, a plethora of plain vanilla, ineffective recommendations.

Some of them are actually counterproductive.
So here’s what you shouldn’t hed from the popular (and poor) common advice:

1. Talk to Him

People listen to actions, not words. Don’t plead when you can act

I gotta laugh at this advice.

Next thing you know someone will recommend you to pray and turn your cheek.

Sure, 3% of the time, with the right people and in the right situations it can be helpful.
But you don’t make the rules with the exceptions.

Why “talk to your bad boss” is bad “strategy”?

Because he wouldn’t harass you if he knew any better and/or if he cared about you.
“talk to your bad boss” also presupposes a few things that are more likely to be false than true.

Such as:

• He can take negative feedback: Great people take feedback without taking it personally. But great people are not toxic bosses
• He will listen: High dark-triad individuals are notoriously resistant to change and treatment
• He will “change”: Most people don’t change, and it’s likely even truer for toxic bosses

Here’s what’s more likely to happen when you “talk to him”:

He will resent you: If there was a chance he didn’t dislike you before, now he surely will.
He will blame you for any issue in the team: You’re on the watch list. Kiss goodbye to any effective covert strategy. And if you do great work you only become more dangerous to him.

2. Talk To His Boss

Here’s another popular piece of advice: “go talk to your boss”.

What are you a kid pleading for daddy’s protection?

Because that’s exactly how you will sound.
As Dan Rust explains in Workplace Poker, upper management doesn’t like people bringing up problems to them.

Also, be realistic: it’s more likely that your boss will know you complained to his boss, and it will complicate matters further.

Exception:
Think execution, not a complaint. The time you go over a toxic boss’s head is when you have enough power or can rally enough critical mass to oust him.

Superior Strategies

For the full blueprint on how to move from defending against despots to becoming an unassailable and honorable leader, see: