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Definitive dictionary of power
The parallel for swing trading would be identifying good short-term relationships in my opinion.
Project partners, freelancers, romantic flings, landlord-tenant relationships, etc.
You do some extra stuff to get the most out of collaboration during the relationship duration.
But not as such as you would for a long-term relationship.
Still has transactional nature.
Leaving this as a note for future dictionary entry, idea from this thread (thanks to Matthew for highlighting its importance or I'd have most likely missed it):
- Credit protecting: to act and speak in a way that fully recognizes and values someone else's contribution when that contribution might have otherwise been overshadowed. It's a subset of "power protecting" and the opposite of "credit scalping".
Especially useful when building or amending someone's idea, so that the original creator doesn't feel like his idea has been stolen without credits.
Example:
Him: (shares a great idea)
You: That's such a genius idea!
There is a lot of potential already, I'm thinking about how to build upon it and maybe even improve on it.
How about...
Then, if your changes are embraced and you lead to a final solution, you can further credit-protect with a final thanks:
And thanks to X for providing the baseline for this solution, that really opened the door to get to this final stage, thanks man.
Edit:
And it's very leader and eagle-like behavior.
See an example here.
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on December 26, 2021, 5:56 pmLeaving this as a note for future dictionary entry, idea from this thread (thanks to Matthew for highlighting its importance or I'd have most likely missed it):
- Credit protecting: to act and speak in a way that fully recognizes and values someone else's contribution when that contribution might have otherwise been overshadowed. It's a subset of "power protecting" and the opposite of "credit scalping".
Especially useful when building or amending someone's idea, so that the original creator doesn't feel like his idea has been stolen without credits.
You killed 3 birds with one stone!
- Gave me credit (thanks for the credit)
- Used that as an example for credit protection
- Formalised the concept
There was a time when I thought killing two birds with a stone was a great achievement :D.
Thank you Matthew, cheers!
From this thread:
Quote from Ali Scarlett on January 20, 2022, 5:15 pmOFF-TOPIC
By the way, I'm not a huge fan of calling hollow tasking "manipulative tasking" because I think there are cases where it can be a high-quality move for a more win-win situation.
For example, when someone asks you if you can take their picture — which would be tasking you with taking their picture — you can demand compliance back by saying, "Stand over there," pointing right to where you know they were going to stand anyway.
And, assuming they were nice in how they asked, I think it can be a nice way to help them out while still keeping things fair and power balanced (see "can you please take my picture" power dynamics).
OFF-TOPIC
Thank you so much, Ali!
I have to admit I was never fond of the name "manipulative tasking". And "hollow tasking" also wasn't that good.
"Empty tasking" is a big step forward, so for now that's the new name -thanks to both you and John-.
If an even better name comes along, happy to go for it.
For now, empty tasking covers:
- Tasks you were going to do because part of your job
- Tasks that you said you were going to do
- Tasks that just plain "sound off" and are an obvious power move -this is more of a "catch-all" category for now, eventually we'll refine it even better
Haven't updated the dictionary yet, but made a note for it.
Hello Lucio,
I'm glad you considered my contribution valuable!
I'm looking forward to share with all of you more ideas.
Cheers!
How to call... This?
Hello folks,
I'm trying hard to come up with a good name for this phenomenon:
to reject, criticize, ignore, or even hate someone first when we feel that they would reject us, ignore us, or generally be unavailable to us
Such as, when we feel that people might reject us, and thus harm us emotionally, lower our self-esteem or lower our social status, then we reject them first.
It's an important phenomenon in both socialization, dating, and self-development (since it's fragile egos who do that the most).
So far we've called it "self-rejection".
There was an early article talking about it:
- Value and availability: discussing how when people feel that you're value is unavailable to them, they will reject you / dislike you first
And a brand new one:
So far we called it that way: self-rejection.
But I don't think it's a good name.
Any idea?
Possible Names
Of course there can be sub-categories under the main umbrella-term.
But I'm looking if there might be a better high-level conceptualization.
For example:
- False rejection
- Self-denial rejections
- Defensive rejection
- Pre-emptive rejection
Yeah, I'm also thinking about a line in PU where you mentioned being "detached" is different from being "independent".
One who is emotionally detached might try to break up with you first if they fear they're going to be broken up with soon.
However, one who is emotionally independent would instead go for it and do their best regardless and accept (and grow from) the outcome.
So, maybe some names revolving around emotional detachment, fragile egos, or a lack of emotional independence would be good.
Ideas:
- Detached self-rejection
- Fragile ego self-rejection
And, a slightly different take on some of your ideas:
- Over defensive self-rejection
- Pre-emptive self-rejection
*Note: Also wondering if it would be off to say "self-spurn" for some of these.
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on March 7, 2022, 11:07 amHow to call... This?
(...)
Possible Names
Of course there can be sub-categories under the main umbrella-term.
But I'm looking if there might be a better high-level conceptualization.
I think there might be better terms, but when I think of a truly high-level conceptualization, I think "enlightened individualism" and "enlightened collaborator".
Self-rejection seems more like a result of being unenlightened in some area, but it doesn't seem like a big/root enough phenomenon on its own to warrant something like "enlightened self-rejection". (Of course, I'm always open to being wrong on that.)
Quote from Ali Scarlett on March 7, 2022, 12:57 pmYeah, I'm also thinking about a line in PU where you mentioned being "detached" is different from being "independent".
One who is emotionally detached might try to break up with you first if they fear they're going to be broken up with soon.
However, one who is emotionally independent would instead go for it and do their best regardless and accept (and grow from) the outcome.
So, maybe some names revolving around emotional detachment, fragile egos, or a lack of emotional independence would be good.
Ideas:
- Detached self-rejection
- Fragile ego self-rejection
And, a slightly different take on some of your ideas:
- Over defensive self-rejection
- Pre-emptive self-rejection
*Note: Also wondering if it would be off to say "self-spurn" for some of these.
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on March 7, 2022, 11:07 amHow to call... This?
(...)
Possible Names
Of course there can be sub-categories under the main umbrella-term.
But I'm looking if there might be a better high-level conceptualization.
I think there might be better terms, but when I think of a truly high-level conceptualization, I think "enlightened individualism" and "enlightened collaborator".
Self-rejection seems more like a result of being unenlightened in some area, but it doesn't seem like a big/root enough phenomenon on its own to warrant something like "enlightened self-rejection". (Of course, I'm always open to being wrong on that.)
Thank you so much, Ali!
Yeah, I agree with you, important yes, but not so important or high-level enough to get "(un)enlightened as a name".
At the end of the day, it's not written anywhere that there is a much better option -or that "self-rejection" isn't already "good enough"-.
After all, many psychological terms -and defense mechanisms- have terrible and intuitive names (reaction formation, sublimation, etc.).
I'm also thinking of skipping the umbrella term and going straight for sub-categories:
- Psychological self-rejection: intra-personal, to defend ego and self-esteem
- Social self-rejection: in social settings, to defend status (ie.: we fear someone will spurn us or ignore us in favor of other people in the group, and we ignore or badmouth them first)
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on March 7, 2022, 11:07 amHow to call... This?
Hello folks,
I'm trying hard to come up with a good name for this phenomenon:
to reject, criticize, ignore, or even hate someone first when we feel that they would reject us, ignore us, or generally be unavailable to us
Such as, when we feel that people might reject us, and thus harm us emotionally, lower our self-esteem or lower our social status, then we reject them first.
It's an important phenomenon in both socialization, dating, and self-development (since it's fragile egos who do that the most).
So far we've called it "self-rejection".
There was an early article talking about it:
- Value and availability: discussing how when people feel that you're value is unavailable to them, they will reject you / dislike you first
And a brand new one:
So far we called it that way: self-rejection.
But I don't think it's a good name.
Any idea?
Possible Names
Of course there can be sub-categories under the main umbrella-term.
But I'm looking if there might be a better high-level conceptualization.
For example:
- False rejection
- Self-denial rejections
- Defensive rejection
- Pre-emptive rejection
I get why it itches a bit
'Self-rejection' describes what they are doing from a technical perspective - which is accurate and works to transport the concept, however it doesn't really capture their intent behind doing this, and also implies some shyness (at least to me), which may be the reason why it feels not the like the perfect description.
Maybe something like 'shield-rejecting' or 'armor-rejection' makes the concept even clearer, as they are doing this to shield themselves pre-emptively from potential emotional pain.
Quote from Ali Scarlett on March 7, 2022, 12:57 pmYeah, I'm also thinking about a line in PU where you mentioned being "detached" is different from being "independent".
One who is emotionally detached might try to break up with you first if they fear they're going to be broken up with soon.
However, one who is emotionally independent would instead go for it and do their best regardless and accept (and grow from) the outcome.
So, maybe some names revolving around emotional detachment, fragile egos, or a lack of emotional independence would be good.
Very intuitive and clear example, and one where self-rejection as term feels not ideal because of the somewhat implied shyness/low self esteem.
