Quote from B on February 18, 2022, 7:18 pm

I sent the message yesterday, no answer so far.

But just sending it made me feel much better, in comparison to the days after I received his text when I felt very flustered.

Quote from B on February 28, 2022, 6:49 pm

I have received no answer nor payment so far.

I have contacted the local bar for suggestions on how to proceed, and they suggested to me that, before suing, I first request a mediation procedure in front of the bar.

But they also specified that this is not mandatory.

The 15 days I mentioned in my text message expire at the end of this week. I am thinking of skipping mediation and proceeding with a notice of judicial action mid (or end of) next week.

Reasons to skip mediation are:

• mediation can work in his favor by delaying things, allowing him to manipulate the mediator, trying to reduce payment
• he will only accept agreement in mediation if I reduce the amount requested
• he will interpret my mediation request as a weakness (he will think "he would have sued me if he was sure of his work")
• in mediation I will not be able to show all his emails/text messages, including the last exchange
• I am sure at the start of the mediation he will say: "I am sorry Bel had to disturb you, I had invited him to meet with me precisely to solve this matter without disturbing the bar. Unfortunately young lawyers are inexperienced and stubborn"
• He will paint me as having introduced mediation because there is an uncertainty to be "settled", and this will paint my request as not fully justified
• if I don't reduce the amount requested in mediation, and then sue, he will use this against me by painting me as the unreasonable party
• if mediation does not work, and I have to sue, it will be irrelevant that I did mediation (both in the sense that it will not matter to the Judge, and to future law firms that may employ me)

In the end, mediation paints me as unsure and tentative. It is akin to reneging on my strong stance of my last message, and saying "ok let's meet to discuss". Which will empower him, and make him think his message worked.

On the other hand, if I directly state I will sue:

• he will instantly get the idea that I am very serious, and fear about his posture (of not having paid me nor answered my requests for two years);
• and if I then sue, even if the Judge thinks he does not owe me the amount I calculated in full, I will still win the lawsuit and he will have to pay legal expenses;
• he knows this, and this may make it likely that he will at the very least pay me the amount he thinks is "fair" before the lawsuit starts, just to show the Judge that he wasn't simply planning not to pay;
• and finally, he will not be able to say "I offered to meet", because we are in a lawsuit after all, which means I fully believe in my right to my fee (to all of it), so there was no need to meet.

A person secure of being right here would not lose time, and go straight to lawsuit. If I am missing something or just simply wrong here, please feel free to let me know.

So mid (or end of) next week, missing payment, I will probably send him the following certified e-mail, as last step before suing:

Dear ...,

pursuant to article x of the bar code, against my wishes please be informed that, in the absence of payment within 15 days, I will start legal proceedings for the liquidation of my fees for the professional work I performed on Your request from xx to xx, as per the attached fee notice.

Kind regards.

I drafted three alternative versions of the above (in one, I added a sentence of "I hope You can still pay, so that we may avoid having to go to Court just to settle the payment for the work I performed on Your request"; in another, I was writing "I will have no other chance"), but I feel the above simple and direct approach is best, as it leaves less room for more maneuvers on his part.

If he calls, I am unsure whether to pick up. I think Lucio suggested picking up demonstrates detachment, so, assuming this still applies after his message, I will. Or, could we argue that, after announcing a lawsuit, my detachment would also be communicated by not picking up (as in "the ball is in your court now")?

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on March 1, 2022, 5:19 am

Sounds like skipping the negotiation is best.

Plus, if you're close to sure use you hold the best cards to win, negotiation is not a win for you, but for him.

The message sounds good, and I'd probably still pick up a call -might be a good idea to practice in advance, including how you're going to announce your hang up of the phone if he doesn't stick to your request. Or at least to think of a few basic things you're going to say-.

Quote from B on March 1, 2022, 11:33 am

Thank you Lucio.

This is going to be one of the strongest stances I have ever taken and one of the most determined battles I have ever fought in my life. Let's see if and when he backs down, because I won't now.

Quote from B on March 9, 2022, 8:45 pm

Update: I have spoken with a (relatively recently known) colleague, who does not seem to be a frenemy so far, and who has reviewed my lawsuit brief, giving me helpful suggestions; she is also available to be my co-lawyer in case I have to sue (while I could represent myself, it is certainly better to have in the case someone not personally involved).

She suggested to me to slightly modify the last notice to be given before suing, this way:

Subject: Notice under article ... of bar rules

Dear Colleague,

please be informed that ...

Her rationale is that if I do not remove the "friendly tone" I kept so far, he will possibly not think I am serious. Also putting the reference to the bar rule in the subject removes the unwanted "I know more than you" tone in the message, while still conveying the formality of this step.

I tend to agree, and think this new draft also subcommunicates that I am a colleague lawyer and not his subordinate anymore, and that he is bound to treat me according to bar rules (which btw he is blatantly violating in not answering me and not paying me for so long).

I think addressing him as "Dear Colleague" will anger him greatly (especially because it will be still fully polite, thus unassailable).

I also think I will send this soon.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on March 9, 2022, 11:48 pm

Seems like solid advice, and the subject line will make sure it won't go unread :).

I'm not sure I'd personally go for "dear colleague", but it's a fair choice.

Quote from B on March 10, 2022, 12:45 am

Thank you Lucio for your helpful perspective.

I understand that the rationale of not writing "dear colleague" is in keeping in line with the strategy you suggested to me since the beginning, of keeping things as "friendly" as possible. The same reasoning that is behind your suggestion of never officializing the end of a friendly relationship.

So it's probably best to continue giving the impression that I don't really have any other choice in the tone of the message, and that he can change tack anytime (and pay) and I will accept it.

I also now understand this is the reasoning behind still answering the phone if he calls. All in line with not creating open enemies.

Angering him deliberately is totally counter to the strategy. I can be firm but still give the impression I am not angry and sadistic like he is.

He is really hoping I make a mistake here, and waiting for something out of place from my side.

This is really difficult for me.

I will think about it some more.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on March 10, 2022, 2:12 am

What you say, plus to add that 0.5% chance you can still avoid the ultimate escalation.

I see the ultimate escalation as a lose-lose.

But in this case, it's my personal view as someone who doesn't work in a court of law and who sees being dragged into one as a loss of time, opportunity, and... Life.
It might be different for you since it's part of your work and you may even learn something.

Quote from B on March 10, 2022, 7:57 pm

Thanks Lucio, understanding the reasons behind your perspective helps me tremendously in deciding how to go forward.

I thought about it much. I am oriented toward choosing the more formal approach, and opening with "dear colleague", because here - opposite to the other case of my female colleague, who showed signs of wanting to close things when I started escalating - I have not seen any opening whatsoever from him. And he chose to drag himself into this, probably just for the fun of manipulating me some more before paying my fees.

Kindness is a great thing toward those who do not use it against you. And he was the master of faking closing the relationship by being very formal with me, to then try to reopen it. Once he said “We have nothing more to say to each other”; and then he called me one week after to manipulate me again.

So this is probably my turn of being formal and detached - not that I want to reopen anything. Just be paid for my work.

I also see the tremendous value that I gained by escalating progressively instead of immediately sending this notice, as I would have done without your invaluable help. And in all other things I learned from you and from PU.

But now it ends. Ultimately it makes little difference, it is going to be close to the endgame in any case.