Quote from B on October 9, 2023, 11:47 pm

Quote from Power Duck on October 9, 2023, 11:32 pm

Will definitely keep that in mind. Will have to do some mental acrobatics to stop getting nervous while talking to them without a good reason.

Unproductive frame alert!🚨

You do have a good reason: the fact that you want to get to know her!

And I really mean this. Most women are flattered to be approached normally.

Because most men do not even have the guts to approach: they just stare, catcall, or harass, unfortunately.

Seriously, it’s great that you’re going to start out on this path.

Each approach lowers the anxiety for the next. Eventually, if you stick to it, you’ll get to the point where it’s as easy as tying your shoes.

Quote from Kavalier on October 10, 2023, 3:44 am

Quote from Power Duck on October 9, 2023, 10:42 pm

An approach could be a normal conv.

Today I saw quite an attractive girl at the gym around my age. I caught her looking at me a couple of times, and funny enough after some time she went to do an exercise with one of the machines I was doing a rotation with, although there were more of the same machines without nobody using them.

To sum it up, after some time thinking about it (around 10 min lol) just when I decided to start talking to her, and ask her if she was new to the gym she just took her things and went to another machine. Didn't see her again.

So I thing that the right mindset here is to talk the same way I would talk to a guy. I can start a conv with  anyone out of nowhere with ease but pretty girls seem to be my weak point. Thinking of them as  friends or as if they were men, that is: not being sexually interested in them usually does the trick, a weird approach but does its purpose.

So if I see her again tomorrow or another day I'll talk to her a bit and test her interest. Just a hello and chatting a bit would suffice, after all I wouldn't find it that much of a deal if she were a guy.

P.S:

Have to work a bit more on attachment styles and finish the book John recommended me.

Hello, Power Duck

1+ to Roberto and Bel's advice. It's important not to take too long for approaching, but you're also not at a club, so no need to rush. Most important is that you chat with her and you at least become that "cool guy" in her mind. The "friendly" route you spoke about works, specially in this environment, where going too strong might frame you as a "skirt chaser", which is bad. Better yet if you're normally friendly with most people.

If you have a good conversation going on, you don't think twice before suggesting something to do together. An idea:

You (after chating with her for a minute or two, ideally on a high point):

hey, it was good talking to you OR no way, you're also a fan of the Power Rangers/Albert Camus!! haha awesome. Well, Dulcinea, I'll now finish some sets of this and this exercises and after this I'm thirsty for X place's (near the gym) delicious strawberries smoothies. Wanna join?

Not the best pick-up line, cheesy, perhaps, yeah... But that's more or less how I went out with a hottie who had a Looney Tunes T-shirt on at the gym. As simple as that.

Quote from Power Duck on October 10, 2023, 9:49 am

Thanks Bel and Kavalier.

And I really mean this. Most women are flattered to be approached normally.

Because most men do not even have the guts to approach: they just stare, catcall, or harass, unfortunately.

Each approach lowers the anxiety for the next. Eventually, if you stick to it, you’ll get to the point where it’s as easy as tying your shoes.

More reasons to start approaching, even if I start only asking for directions or the hour 🙂.

Most important is that you chat with her and you at least become that "cool guy" in her mind. The "friendly" route you spoke about works, specially in this environment, where going too strong might frame you as a "skirt chaser", which is bad. Better yet if you're normally friendly with most people.

Hmm, this has made me think. Maybe I could simply chat a bit with everyone I share a machine with (of course I'll approval this gal if I see her again in the gym too)

If you have a good conversation going on, you don't think twice before suggesting something to do together

Since I can't meet after the gym and I deleted ig, I would ask her for her number to chat in Whatsapp. Maybe after a couple of good chit chat of after a good conv if I see there's chemistry.

Still I have to go easy mentally, I used to get obsessed with any girl I found attractive and with whom I talked one or two times really really easy, self reflection helps me to deal with this but I still have to be careful.

It isn't like I'm going to find the "woman of my life" at 19, plus the most important thing here isn't personality or my position in certain hierarchies but rather power dynamics and my skills.

It's a matter of skills, it's a game in a way.

Cheers.

P.S:

Reframing it as a game based on skill..., I like the idea.

Quote from B on October 10, 2023, 10:13 am

Quote from Kavalier on October 10, 2023, 3:44 am

Quote from Power Duck on October 9, 2023, 10:42 pm

An approach could be a normal conv.

Today I saw quite an attractive girl at the gym around my age. I caught her looking at me a couple of times, and funny enough after some time she went to do an exercise with one of the machines I was doing a rotation with, although there were more of the same machines without nobody using them.

To sum it up, after some time thinking about it (around 10 min lol) just when I decided to start talking to her, and ask her if she was new to the gym she just took her things and went to another machine. Didn't see her again.

So I thing that the right mindset here is to talk the same way I would talk to a guy. I can start a conv with  anyone out of nowhere with ease but pretty girls seem to be my weak point. Thinking of them as  friends or as if they were men, that is: not being sexually interested in them usually does the trick, a weird approach but does its purpose.

So if I see her again tomorrow or another day I'll talk to her a bit and test her interest. Just a hello and chatting a bit would suffice, after all I wouldn't find it that much of a deal if she were a guy.

P.S:

Have to work a bit more on attachment styles and finish the book John recommended me.

Hello, Power Duck

1+ to Roberto and Bel's advice. It's important not to take too long for approaching, but you're also not at a club, so no need to rush. Most important is that you chat with her and you at least become that "cool guy" in her mind. The "friendly" route you spoke about works, specially in this environment, where going too strong might frame you as a "skirt chaser", which is bad. Better yet if you're normally friendly with most people.

If you have a good conversation going on, you don't think twice before suggesting something to do together. An idea:

You (after chating with her for a minute or two, ideally on a high point):

hey, it was good talking to you OR no way, you're also a fan of the Power Rangers/Albert Camus!! haha awesome. Well, Dulcinea, I'll now finish some sets of this and this exercises and after this I'm thirsty for X place's (near the gym) delicious strawberries smoothies. Wanna join?

Not the best pick-up line, cheesy, perhaps, yeah... But that's more or less how I went out with a hottie who had a Looney Tunes T-shirt on at the gym. As simple as that.

Kavalier your line is so good I saved it mentally in case I should ever need it again!

Note the finesse of “I’m thirsty”, which makes all the difference.

By saying that, you provide a “self-justification” for the proposal, which otherwise risks not being interpreted correctly in an environment where others are around.

It’s the same in clubs: if you say “let’s get a drink”, a woman may think you’re into alcohol or whatever. But if you say “I’m thirsty, let’s get a drink”, now everything is put in a better perspective.

Quote from Power Duck on October 10, 2023, 8:41 pm

Seems like I've found a group of class mates to hang out and study with, I get along with a good amount of the people there, there's many things I got today:

• There's no use focusing on whether or not people pay much or little attention to you, sometimes they'll be talking to you and seeking your attention the whole time, other times they'll pay more attention to other people and ignore you.
• There are more attention seeking girls than I imagined.
• I'm getting better at "basic" power dynamics, it's easy for me to behave high power and come across as a cool guy when I don't seek attention or approval and when there are no assholes in a group. I'll have to improve self defense and high power behaviour.

In that group there's a pretty girl that flirted with me a couple of times, either she was simply joking or she likes the attention, I don't think that she likes me since I just met her today and they call her the "devourer", so she probably craves validation and likes to "devour" lol.

However it was a good experience, I realized that I have no problem talking to pretty girls. I also socially dominated her sometimes, basically attempted to seduce her:

Her: is that your bag.

Power Duck: yep

Her: move it

Power Duck: please.

Her: please

Power Duck: it's could you move your bag Power Duck?

Her: "repeats me"

Power Duck: please?

Her: please?

Power Duck: yeah x I can move my bag (with  a babying and kind tone)

I move it

Power Duck: thank you

Her (in a low voice): thank you

Power Duck: your welcome (while smiling)

Of course all this was done while smiling.

After that a female friend I made today started laughing, and the girl I told this asked me if I could do a math exercise and talked to me normally so she probably didn't feel offended by this.

Quote from John Freeman on October 10, 2023, 8:54 pm

Up up up! :)

Quote from Power Duck on October 16, 2023, 1:49 pm

Joining high value social circle, making more 1-1 connections and increased status.

The social circle with whom I spent time the other day may be a bit more complicated to join than I thought, but I believe it's def doable and wont probably be very hard since my status has been rising:

• Sometimes I answer to high power and one upping proffesors in a high power fashion without being "very" value taking.
• I'm more dominant and outgoing than at the beginning of classes. I also usually do good defending against power moves.
• I know way more people, (and I have a list with all the names in the class, so I usually start talking with people I don't know much as if I already knew them so it does look like that from the outside.  Ez social proof for Power Duck🫠)

The downsides are:

• Sometimes I am a bit value taking/assholish (usually teasing people), most of the time to girls. Boys get some too but I try to prevent pulling moves, sometimes I don't realize and I simply follow how I feel though (aka follow my instincts to get power)
• I have limiting beliefs, although the fact that I am accomplishing things I didn't thought I would accomplish so soon (more attention and flirting with girls, people wanting to be friends, etc) is making most of those limiting beliefs disappear.

The reason for me joining that group being a bit hard is because there are members in that group that don't like me and that have actually pulled plenty of power moves against me in the past, now they usually test the ground before pulling any moves. They have a high status in the group btw, the thing that makes it easier is that they spend little time with the guys I enjoy spending time around since they are one year above us.

So I'll do the following:

• Be outgoing, "self amusingly" dominant without being very value taking/ or not value taking and all, ask questions and listen to high value members when they talk, talk more on 1-1 to members, talk/include  more submissive members in the conv.
• Be quiet and listen when enemies are around, not pose a menace to their status, (on the surface 🙂). Organize meetings after classes after talking 1-1 with members of the group.

And last but not least, talk with more people outside of the group and get to know them a bit better: entering in the morning and saying hello to +10 people does def affect how bystanders see you. Again easy social proof.

P.S:

Speaking in a lower  voice pitch and changing body language makes wonders lol.

Quote from John Freeman on October 16, 2023, 2:01 pm

Hey Power Duck,

I said recently Up up up! But wasn’t expecting you to adapt this fast! So congrats.

I think all of the above sounds great. I emit some reservation regarding the professors. The rest I cannot judge (with friends). I think you can be high power while still being power protective. Professors matters a lot (if not more than your friends) for your academic success. I would not neglect it.

I think you’re doing great! I would still continue the introspection in parallel. If one focuses a lot on the behaviours there is a risk of mismatch between the two. But up to you to judge. Sometimes it’s needed to focus on one aspect for an extended period of time even if outer layer.

Quote from Power Duck on October 16, 2023, 2:19 pm

Cheers John.

Thanks man :).

About one upping the proffesors, there's a mistake I committed while writing. When I say "one upping teachers", I mean that they one up me. It's only one in this case, so when he one ups me I usually answer back not as one upping as him but I still throw some punches. Def made him respect me more, and people realized it. Will probably go into more details later.