Quote from Power Duck on January 1, 2024, 11:46 am

Been thinking about it, I may stop hanging around with this college group as much and keep them more to study/get info about subjects.

At the begging I started hanging around with them because I thought they were cool and I had lots of laughs with them, novelty was the main thing I suppose. With time I realized that I don't get along with 2 girls in a group in which we are 5 most of the time, I don't talk much with the other guy so that makes 3 people that don't add much value, and that makes one girl left, I get along with this girl, but she still doesn't reciprocate and barely asks me about anything personal, she simply doesn't care.

Another interesting thing is that they don't like when I hang around with other people, even if it's for a couple of hours at college, so they want the investment of a "friend" but they barely give, a good deal suure.

So already decided, I will hang around with multiple and different groups of friends while not being fixated on one.

If someone has a comment or idea about this, of course feel free to comment.

P.S:

Thanks to John for planting the seed in my head.

Quote from Transitioned on January 1, 2024, 8:30 pm

My missus is much better than me at keeping a wide social circle.  What she does is have a lot of friendly acquaintances.  Then with real friends she's exactly like me she has a small circle of good friends. Maybe you could try that cast the net a bit wider and don't necessarily have expectations that these people you are friendly with will become real friends.

Quote from Power Duck on January 1, 2024, 9:00 pm

Thanks Transitioned.

Yeah I think the main problem might have been believing that  having a great time with people from time to time meant them becoming good friends.

And reading your response, I think I will expand my social circle, I also know some people that would love to have me around, they may not be the highest quality but they reciprocate and are either at my value or higher.

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 1, 2024, 9:06 pm

Quote from Power Duck on December 29, 2023, 11:55 pm

And the things is that, despite the hopelesness, the sadness, the diziness, the feeling that I'm stuck, ... I  like it, a part inside of me screams to them to keep going, to keep trying to push me down, to keep pouring all their shit onto me .... because this is nothing new, it was waay worse in the past, and I got through it, I overcame it, I may have commited mistakes that have brought me back to getting disrespect, but I rose high before that.

Yep, I like this too.

You grow the most exactly when things are at their worst.

Also, as usual, I think it's worth reminding that most people are a mix of good and bad.
And that's OK.
A power move from a family member doesn't necessarily make them terrible, just people -and I think you know that-.

Quote from Power Duck on January 2, 2024, 1:15 am

Thanks Lucio.

It's funny, after said day dealing with negative emotions became easier. I kind of see it as physical pain I have to endure, just like at the gym.

And about family members pulling power moves, yeah...... I guess I was a bit angry at the moment. I also have a bad habit of seeing things in black and white, I'll have to deal with that, may even help me more to keep cynism in check.

Cheers.

Quote from Power Duck on January 3, 2024, 6:30 pm

It's been around 2 weeks since I restarted semen retention, and funny enough, after 2 months attempting to increase my social roi (doing things slower while being calm) now I've finally discovered how I made it so naturally during the first time I was in semen retention.

The thing is that not only I have this bad habit of moving my legs when I'm sat but also I can get nervous since I have lots of energy. So, how did I use to be calm in every situation while being dominant? Despite:

• The high levels of energy. (particularly making me want to move my legs while sat)
• The need/desire to talk a lot.
• The state of nervousness that uncomfortable social situations/individuals/thoughts put me in.
• The increased energy and desire for aggression.

I still forced myselfto remain calm and do things slower/slow, all that while feeding the fire inside.

That explains the concept of: Keeping the beast under control. I have a crazy amount of energy and desire to physically fight inside that wants to be released, however I only let the necessary energy to be used. (Imagining the process helps)

Since semen retention  has increased a lot my levels of energy and aggression, now I have two options, either I get crazy nervous, or I control my nervousness while being calm.

The second option also lets me be dominant as soon as I need it, so instead of being calm while looking lethargic like when I wasn't practising semen retention, I am calm while also being full of energy, determination and drive.

I'm going to start hitting the gym like crazy again, cutting out fried food, and overall looking for ways to max testosterone levels. Now I understand why I was so successful socially a year ago, it was testosterone.

P.S:

Since this is a constant process of regulating my energy and actions, I might start meditating.

Quote from John Freeman on January 3, 2024, 6:42 pm

Hello Power Duck,

I think it's an interesting experiment.

Quick note: Regarding the gym, this is going to amp up your testosterone even more I agree. On the other side, it will also amp up your sexual desires so I think it will more difficult to do semen retention/control your urges.

As said above, I think it's an interesting experiment though, worth conducting and I could be wrong.

My own experience. My 2 cents.

Cheers.

Quote from John Freeman on January 3, 2024, 6:52 pm

Quote from Power Duck on December 29, 2023, 11:55 pm

And the things is that, despite the hopelesness, the sadness, the diziness, the feeling that I'm stuck, ... I  like it, a part inside of me screams to them to keep going, to keep trying to push me down, to keep pouring all their shit onto me .... because this is nothing new, it was waay worse in the past, and I got through it, I overcame it, I may have commited mistakes that have brought me back to getting disrespect, but I rose high before that. This time it's not like any other time, I don't feel like laying in bed instead of studying after being bombarded with power moves and disrespect, I don't think to drop and give up as I've done in the past again, I don't feel nihilistic again, I feel the fire inside. Even if everyone in this world hated me, even if everyone treated me like scum, I still come first, I will get what I want to get, and if I have to break myself in the process till I become a mad man so be it, madness won't stop me either. I hate those who've caused damage to me because of their laziness, selfishness and unsolved issues, fuck compassion, fuck forgiving everyone, fuck thinking that they are that way because they had it rough and had different experiences, I don't fucking care.

In my opinion, it's the proper way to use the dark side (it's tricky as said before and can lead us to the wrong path sometimes, I know it did to me hence my cautiousness recently when we spoke). So congratulations and respect. Using the dark side/aggression to fly higher and grow is the way to go I think.

Quote from Power Duck on January 1, 2024, 11:46 am

Another interesting thing is that they don't like when I hang around with other people, even if it's for a couple of hours at college, so they want the investment of a "friend" but they barely give, a good deal sure.

This and the above text in your post (did not quote all for readability): it's a "clique" and not of the highest quality. If they would be high quality they would want you to have your fun and would not be jealous.

So already decided, I will hang around with multiple and different groups of friends while not being fixated on one.

If someone has a comment or idea about this, of course feel free to comment.

No further comments, you already know what I think.

P.S:

Thanks to John for planting the seed in my head.

Thanks for your trust! I'm glad it made sense to you. :)

As we talked the goal in whatever you do is to make you better off. So you'll see by experimenting with meeting other people if that's a benefit or a cost. And you'll be able to adjust as you go. More reference points, more abundance, more choice = more power.

Quote from Power Duck on January 3, 2024, 6:55 pm

Cheers John, and thanks for the comment.

On the other side, it will also amp up your sexual desires so I think it will more difficult to do semen retention/control your urges.

Yeah, it gets crazy man. Now that you say it, I remember having lots of strategies to avoid relapsing, one of the best ones I recall was aggressively shadow boxing at home since I couldn't be at the gym 24/7😂.

But I hadn't thought too much about it despite being so obvious, so, I'll try to bear that in mind. Thanks.

If I see more changes regarding social effectiveness/power dynamics I might open a separate post for this matter.

Also, been planing to check my T levels for quite some time and the test is this saturday, so this will be quite a personal experiment.