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Power duck's journal

#221 · January 3, 2024, 7:02 pm

Quote from Power Duck on January 3, 2024, 7:02 pm
Quote from John Freeman on January 3, 2024, 6:52 pm
Quote from Power Duck on December 29, 2023, 11:55 pm
And the things is that, despite the hopelesness, the sadness, the diziness, the feeling that I'm stuck, ... I like it, a part inside of me screams to them to keep going, to keep trying to push me down, to keep pouring all their shit onto me .... because this is nothing new, it was waay worse in the past, and I got through it, I overcame it, I may have commited mistakes that have brought me back to getting disrespect, but I rose high before that. This time it's not like any other time, I don't feel like laying in bed instead of studying after being bombarded with power moves and disrespect, I don't think to drop and give up as I've done in the past again, I don't feel nihilistic again, I feel the fire inside. Even if everyone in this world hated me, even if everyone treated me like scum, I still come first, I will get what I want to get, and if I have to break myself in the process till I become a mad man so be it, madness won't stop me either. I hate those who've caused damage to me because of their laziness, selfishness and unsolved issues, fuck compassion, fuck forgiving everyone, fuck thinking that they are that way because they had it rough and had different experiences, I don't fucking care.
In my opinion, it's the proper way to use the dark side (it's tricky as said before and can lead us to the wrong path sometimes, I know it did to me hence my cautiousness recently when we spoke). So congratulations and respect. Using the dark side/aggression to fly higher and grow is the way to go I think.
Quote from Power Duck on January 1, 2024, 11:46 am
Another interesting thing is that they don't like when I hang around with other people, even if it's for a couple of hours at college, so they want the investment of a "friend" but they barely give, a good deal sure.
This and the above text in your post (did not quote all for readability): it's a "clique" and not of the highest quality. If they would be high quality they would want you to have your fun and would not be jealous.
So already decided, I will hang around with multiple and different groups of friends while not being fixated on one.
If someone has a comment or idea about this, of course feel free to comment.
No further comments, you already know what I think.
P.S:
Thanks to John for planting the seed in my head.
Thanks for your trust! I'm glad it made sense to you. 🙂
As we talked the goal in whatever you do is to make you better off. So you'll see by experimenting with meeting other people if that's a benefit or a cost. And you'll be able to adjust as you go. More reference points, more abundance, more choice = more power.
Thanks for the response John.
This and the above text in your post (did not quote all for readability): it's a "clique" and not of the highest quality. If they would be high quality they would want you to have your fun and would not be jealous.
I might keep experimenting with that now that you say it. Will bear that in mind.
Nothing to add about the rest, I agree with pretty much everything.
Cheers.

Quote from John Freeman on January 3, 2024, 6:52 pm
Quote from Power Duck on December 29, 2023, 11:55 pm
And the things is that, despite the hopelesness, the sadness, the diziness, the feeling that I'm stuck, ... I like it, a part inside of me screams to them to keep going, to keep trying to push me down, to keep pouring all their shit onto me .... because this is nothing new, it was waay worse in the past, and I got through it, I overcame it, I may have commited mistakes that have brought me back to getting disrespect, but I rose high before that. This time it's not like any other time, I don't feel like laying in bed instead of studying after being bombarded with power moves and disrespect, I don't think to drop and give up as I've done in the past again, I don't feel nihilistic again, I feel the fire inside. Even if everyone in this world hated me, even if everyone treated me like scum, I still come first, I will get what I want to get, and if I have to break myself in the process till I become a mad man so be it, madness won't stop me either. I hate those who've caused damage to me because of their laziness, selfishness and unsolved issues, fuck compassion, fuck forgiving everyone, fuck thinking that they are that way because they had it rough and had different experiences, I don't fucking care.
In my opinion, it's the proper way to use the dark side (it's tricky as said before and can lead us to the wrong path sometimes, I know it did to me hence my cautiousness recently when we spoke). So congratulations and respect. Using the dark side/aggression to fly higher and grow is the way to go I think.
Quote from Power Duck on January 1, 2024, 11:46 am
Another interesting thing is that they don't like when I hang around with other people, even if it's for a couple of hours at college, so they want the investment of a "friend" but they barely give, a good deal sure.
This and the above text in your post (did not quote all for readability): it's a "clique" and not of the highest quality. If they would be high quality they would want you to have your fun and would not be jealous.
So already decided, I will hang around with multiple and different groups of friends while not being fixated on one.
If someone has a comment or idea about this, of course feel free to comment.
No further comments, you already know what I think.
P.S:
Thanks to John for planting the seed in my head.
Thanks for your trust! I'm glad it made sense to you. 🙂
As we talked the goal in whatever you do is to make you better off. So you'll see by experimenting with meeting other people if that's a benefit or a cost. And you'll be able to adjust as you go. More reference points, more abundance, more choice = more power.

Thanks for the response John.

This and the above text in your post (did not quote all for readability): it's a "clique" and not of the highest quality. If they would be high quality they would want you to have your fun and would not be jealous.

I might keep experimenting with that now that you say it. Will bear that in mind.

Nothing to add about the rest, I agree with pretty much everything.

Cheers.

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#222 · January 3, 2024, 7:11 pm

Yeah man, it's exciting. I'm curious to know more about your experiment if you feel like sharing more later (yeah I think it's worth a thread if you feel sharing lessons/your journey, value-adding to TPM I think). It's inspiring as I did that for short periods of time but not as a lifestyle. So interested to know what your experience will be on a longer timeframe.

Thanks again for sharing!

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#223 · January 5, 2024, 1:20 pm

This morning I've been studying with this group of friends I've been thinking to stop hanging with.

I've realised quite some things:

Some of them are behaving in a more value taking way.

Girl1: this exercise is done this way
Girl2 (speaking in a rude and angry tone): are you stuupid. This exercise is this way
Girl1 (getting anoyed): girl2 this exercise is done x way.
Girl2 (calm but rude tone): lets see Girl1. Are you stupid? This exercise is done in this way.
Start arguing over exercise, usually gets heated

1 of them (girl1) steamrolls, pulls subtle power moves when she acknowledges that she commited a mistake after being told, and most of the time refuses to acknowledge that she has commited a mistake.
All of them invest little in the frienship (from what I've seen)

Contrary to most times, today I've started checking power moves that I used to not check in order to not get into arguments:

Girl1 talking about something I don't remember.
P.D responds.
Girl1: look at what the friend is saying.
I say something to her, and after a 2 second pause I say "friend", to highlight the power move she pulled. I get some laughs.

Low investment from my part most of the time, and barely talking or joking, I did this not only to increase my power, but also because I didn't see the point in talking:

If I say something value adding about an exercise, Girl1 (leader, and most dominant member of the 3) would simply say that it's not that way/would say something implying that it was something that she already knew/ three of them would ignore it.
If I say a joke that's not a power move they would ignore it (funny enough, their jokes are mostly, if not all the time, power moves)
There are more chances of getting power moved/disrespected.

I received way less power moves, checked most of them, and I feel way better after acting that way. If they keep being this way (they will), I'll socialise with them way less than I intended to.

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#224 · January 5, 2024, 2:29 pm

Rock on PD!

If you have no intention of staying with this group, use it for learning.

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#225 · January 7, 2024, 10:09 pm

Recently I've realised that I have two addictions that are affecting my productivity:

Comic/reading fiction/anime addiction.
Youtube addiction.

So, same as with pornography, masturbation and videogames, I have to say goodbye to any of those things permanently, with the exception of youtube, which I will only use to listen to video essays and documentaries less than half an hour a day.

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#226 · January 8, 2024, 11:46 am

Don't wanna do the Tony Robbins here, but sometimes how you call -and think- about things does matter.

You know better of course, and sometimes strong names may help even more.
But I'd still think about it, and whether you want to call and think of them as addictions.

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#227 · January 9, 2024, 12:14 am

Thanks Lucio.

Yeah, personally I think that using that big of a word might help me deal with it.

I still have to plan some more mental strategies to deal with both of them, so changing how I consider them is still on the table in case its helpful.

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#228 · January 9, 2024, 12:29 am

After some things that have happened today, and some comments that still make my blood boil.

I'm starting to think that:

Women negotiate status in a more passive aggressive way than men. Dealing with men is way easier than women, I can get to respect assholes that acknowledge and respect strength, I can't respect nasty passive aggressive folks.
Some power moves that I may get may be intended to get a reaction out of me, a mistake I'm committing is that I feel like I have to respond to every power move and every negative frame. Today in fact a girl from the group I'm in pulled power moves to get my attention, failed to do so.
A good way to deal with orange level power moves while showing emotional strength and power awareness can be, babying the other party while showing that you don't really care. Treating them as the emotionally immature children they most likely are.

X: look who comes here, what happens you didn't sleep well? Hahaha.
P.D: what's up x? What a friendly fella you are. (Talking as if you were talking to a cute baby)

It ignores their frame, surfaces their nastiness with irony, and shows emotional strength.

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#229 · January 9, 2024, 6:55 am

Hello PD,

on your last note I have a different take. As we talked before if I remember well: they're trying to get a reaction out of you. So they're still getting it. In my mind, these will be passed with ease if one works on increasing self-esteem/self-confidence. In the answer above I would say one can feel the annoyance. Suggeesetions:

X: look who comes here, what happens you didn't sleep well? Hahaha.
P.D: Hahaha, slept perfectly fine and you?

Keeps rapport, be vulnerable (self-esteem/confidence), don't react, show you don't take yourself too seriously (self-esteem/confidence), turn back the table to put on equal footing.

X: look who comes here, what happens you didn't sleep well? Hahaha.
P.D: Hahaha, yeah you're right that was not my best night of my life. What about you?

Same comments as above. Basically I think it's about not caring so much about their opinion. And to do so, it's important to care more about your own opinion of yourself than theirs. Mark Manson talks about it in Models if I'm not mistaken.

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#230 · January 9, 2024, 7:41 pm

Quote from Power Duck on January 9, 2024, 12:29 am
X: look who comes here, what happens you didn't sleep well? Hahaha.
P.D: what's up x? What a friendly fella you are. (Talking as if you were talking to a cute baby)
It ignores their frame, surfaces their nastiness with irony, and shows emotional strength.

Hi Power Duck,

to me your proposed answer is great, especially in light of the fact that the power move is particularly nasty as it frames you as disheveled / sleepy with no reason apart from pulling you down.

It surfaces the nastiness, refuses to accept her power move and mood, and elevates you further.

When I read it, I personally decided to try it myself.

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