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What I'm Doing, (Maybe Where 🙂 & Why

Next Moves

One of the reviews I was looking forward to releasing was Nick Kolenda's Sales Psychology course. It was pretty high on my list given how much I enjoyed Methods of Persuasion (which is currently ranked as TPM's top resource on influence / persuasion / sales) and The Psychology of Negotiation.

Since I wrapped up most of the main reviews yesterday, to avoid wasting any time, I joined his Sales Psychology course later that day. And, I've already finished it.

I was hoping it would be longer, I was expecting it to take at least a week at minimum. My (high) expectations going into this course weren't met from a content and value perspective and now, unfortunately, I'm still trying to decide whether or not this course deserves its own review in the TPM forum.

A lot of the course seemed to focus on non-conscious psychological tactics instead of well-proven, word-for-word sales techniques (which is what I was hoping for).

That said, what I might do is create a short review and then a teardown/analysis of Power University's sales page outlining the changes Kolenda might recommend based on his material.

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Lucio BuffalmanoMatthew Whitewood

Handling An Annoying Exchange with a Dominant Woman

When I was younger, I enrolled myself in a health care program after some health issues that I experienced a few years back. Back then, I was far less independent and wasn't able to take care of myself, so the coordinators in the program were very helpful.

Now that I'm older and a lot more independent, the program is a nuisance. Especially, these "mandatory" monthly updates that bring no benefit to me since I get all of the health assistance I need from my actual doctor.

Recently, my main program coordinator retired, so I received a phone call from her replacement.

What I heard on the other side of that phone was a very dominant attitude that lacked any warmth or charm.

She immediately tried to have a whole appointment with me over that phone call without asking if it was a good or bad time. I stopped her and told her that now wasn't the best time, so if she wanted to meet, I'd send her a link to my calendar where she could book a time.

She said OK and told me to save her name and number (already trying to get me to follow her lead). I told her to email me her name so I don't mess up the spelling. She said OK and hung up.

This was the email she sent me:

 

She left the "thank you" at the end of her order as if to imply that I have no choice but to agree.

Lucio mentioned that the "thank you" can mean many things and is too common as an email closer to be considered a power move in most cases. And, I agree.

Yet, it still bothers me when it's used this way. She didn't use it to close out her email and sign her name, the email stops after that "thank you" and that "thank you" is positioned right after her order (there is no closer, and there is no signature).

So, poor first impression, but I was patient. Then came the day of our meeting.

When she scheduled a time slot on my calendar, she was automatically sent a Zoom link. But, she insisted on Skype Business.

So, now Skype is making me go through numerous installations and hoops in order to join the meeting. Now, I'm being inconvenienced by her for her meeting that she wants because of a medium she insisted on.

When I get to the meeting (admittedly, three minutes late from Skype's requirements), her camera's on, she's nowhere to be seen, and I hear the sound of dishes clanging together and being washed in the background.

I call her name a few times to see if she will hear me and come back to start the meeting (which she's now making me wait to begin). And, she doesn't show at all.

So, I hang up.

And, I send her this email:

The "if this is a bad time" was me doing my best to be understanding. But, deep down, I was annoyed at how she had devalued me and my time.

Yet, after having read that "What To Do When Someone Makes You Wait" article that Matthew sent me, I knew it was too early for assertiveness.

So, I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Then, without having read my email yet, she texts me:

It felt like she was assuming I really would have stayed on that video call waiting for her to sit down and start the meeting after making me wait for so long. More than waiting, but saying her name repeatedly hoping she'll hear me over the clanging of dishes.

So, I ignored her message and went back to work.

Then, she reads my email. And, she says:

She says, "Didn't you see my screen open? I was on since 12:55 PM."

Yes, your screen was open. And, your screen was indeed on since 12:55 PM. You, on the other hand, were not.

The meeting was scheduled to start at 1 PM. I showed at 1:03 PM, and she never did.

Now, I'll probably be unenrolling from the program.

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Update:

She rescheduled our meeting for today.

So, when I logged on today, she was already waiting and started the meeting warm forwards. She apologized more than a couple of times for the inconveniences, mix-ups, and so on.

And, overall, it seemed as if she respected me more for the way I handled what happened yesterday. Felt good for my personal growth.

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Lucio BuffalmanoMatthew WhitewoodTransitionedELKOUHLANI

The keep-me-waiting power moves annoy me a lot too.
They seem so common though.

Happy to hear that she had a change of tone after you indirectly pushed back against her lack of respect for your time.

I'm trying something out to mitigate this "keep people waiting" power moves.
If I get the feeling that someone will be late for a virtual appointment, I will schedule a call so I don't have to wait in a video conference link.
Then I will continue doing what I'm doing while waiting for the call.
At the 10-minute mark, I will drop a message and say

I have to go.
Let's reschedule.

Or I may decide to just not pick up the phone call.

Someone recently tried a pre-emptive keep-me-waiting move on me yesterday.

Him: Something has come up 1h before our call tomorrow.
I should be able to make the call, just letting you know that I might be late. (whatever I have is more important than our call)

Me: Thanks (at least you told me in advance), I prefer to put our call to another time then. (I don't want to wait)
It will be easier for both of us. (Hints that you don't have to rush, I don't have to wait; Good for both of us)

Him: Nice, next week perhaps (the nice feels a bit judgemental and condesecnding)

This is your journal.
So feel free to let me know if you don't want me to share too much here.

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Lucio BuffalmanoAli ScarlettTransitioned

Great going, Ali.

Very good analysis of her power moves, and a good read of the situation is half the social effectiveness.

I think a stronger assertiveness early on wasn't too out of place in this case, but you handled it perfectly.

OFF-TOPIC

@Matthew

Very nice system there.

In the specific example, you might have also said "let's put our call... (and potentially propose new time)". "

I prefer" is more like an exchange of equals, pooling opinions together finding for a common ground. "Let's" is more leader-like, taking charge towards the (common) goals.

OFF-TOPIC

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
Quote from Matthew Whitewood on July 22, 2021, 7:50 pm

This is your journal.
So feel free to let me know if you don't want me to share too much here.

Yea, all good, Matthew, it was on topic and it piqued my interest. Plus, I'm not too protective of my journal since it's public—I'm sharing it with the community (which you're a part of).

It could be more beneficial for you to start a new thread for ideas like that though since that could invite more feedback, strategizing, and so on (which I noticed you already did).

If you're ever unsure, put "off-topic" labels (like Lucio did above) and start a new thread / continue a relevant one.

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Matthew Whitewood

Cool man, I will post here if I think it's relevant and resonates with your posts.
Otherwise, spin out on another thread or put off-topic.

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Ali Scarlett
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