Every social interaction runs on two signals: power and warmth.
Get them both right, and people respect you, follow you, and are drawn to you. Get them wrong, and you’re dismissed as either weak or arrogant.

At The Power Moves, we’re experts on power dynamics, and we pioneered the real-world use of the Competence & Warmth Matrix—a science-based framework that explains why some men gain admiration and influence while others stay invisible.

This guide shows how to use it to project strength and connection—the foundation of respect, status, and attraction.

High-Power / High-Warmth™: A TPM Framework Built on Established Research
While the underlying psychology of warmth and power is well established in social science, TPM’s high-power / high-warmth™ model is a practical framework that distills this research into a clear baseline for everyday social exchanges, influence, and status building.

Competence and warmth matrix

Intro: The Science

Two different but similar models underpin this approach:

• The stereotype content model (SCM) postulates that groups and individuals assess each other along two dimensions of competence and warmth.
• The Interpersonal Circumplex Model (IPC) plots traits and interpersonal behaviors, or how people interact one-on-one, along the agency and communion dimensions.

The interpersonal circumplex, based on Gurtman, 2009

While the two overlap and reinforce each other, there are also some noteworthy differences:

TPM’s Approach

At The Power Moves, high-power / high-warmth refers to a baseline approach to social exchanges in which an individual combines assertive, status-conveying behavior (high power) with prosocial, trust-building behavior (high warmth).

For our purposes, we sublimate both into this simplified approach:

• Power: how powerful is he?
  • High-power 🟰 high-value, respect-worthy, high-status, and leader
  • Low-power 🟰 low-value, ‘too nice guy’, naive
• Warmth: is he friend or foe?
  • High-warmth 🟰 potential ally, uplifting
  • Low-warmth 🟰 competitive, antagonizing, enemy

High-power in our model includes assertiveness, postive interpersonal dominance, social confidence, and an agentic predosposition.
High warmth includes respect, power-protecting, signals of friendliness, and a generally uplifting approach to others.

One of our foundational social strategies is to adopt a baseline behavior that is high power and high warmth.

Power & Warmth Quadrant

The two axes of power and warmth form 4 quadrants.

See it here with an example in each for politics, work, and relationships:

1. Low Power – Low Warmth (lose-lose)

The resentful loser

Examples:

• Jealousy frenemy
• Bitter man who failed at dating
• Grumpy Karen yelling at service workers

From a stereotype model perspective, people in this category are homeless people and welfare recipients.
These groups are seen as leeching off society, taking (low warmth), but taking little (low power).

Emotion: Contempt | Behavior: Active harm

This quadrant says:

“I’m unhappy with my life and take my frustration on the people around”.

2. Low Power – High Warmth (lose-win)

The too nice guy

Examples:

• Homeless you take pity on
• Manipulated provider for men
• Submissive housewife who always says yes, no matter how she feels

Emotion: Pity |  Behavior: Passive facilitation (and sometimes passive harm)

This quadrant says:

“I’m friendly and naive, easy to manipulate and take advantage of”.

3. Low Warmth – High Power (win-lose)

The ruthless prince

Examples:

• Unapproachable VIP
• Cruel dictator
• Despotic boss

In politics, Republicans are seen as low-warmth. And that may partly explain why security and defense appeal to Republicans.

Emotion: Envy | Behavior: Passive harm

This quadrant says:

“I’m powerful because I’m better than you”.

4. High warmth – High Power (win-win)

The prestigious leader

Examples:

• Gregarious VIP shaking hands and signing autographs (think of Keanu Reeves)
• Successful mentor, like a founder mentoring his team
• Uplifting leader, welcoming newcomers, encouraging team members

In politics, liberal leaders tend to be seen as high warmth and high power (TPM note: but they must be high power to win elections).
Socially, high power and high warmth men enjoy large appeal and people want to be around them.

Emotion: Admiration | Behavior: Active facilitation

This quadrant says:

“I’m powerful, and I’m happy, and I radiate positive energy”.

Strategic Uses

While power and warmth is a great default approach, there is a time and place for everything.

For example, low warmth and high power works for:

• Despots
• Gangs and for quick climbs
• Prisons to discourage aggression

Says psychology researcher Baumeister:

A reputation for dangerous, unpredictable aggressiveness, causes others to leave one alone.
(…)
 This is the irony of the fighter who never fights because he is known to be such a dangerous fighter that no one is willing to challenge him. 

But phases or bursts of low warmth are also helpful for faster results.
For example:

• Reset wrong impressions of a ‘sucker’ with dominance and no warmth
• Learn assertiveness faster with over-correction if you were a people pleaser—like a ‘good asshole phase’

However, don’t stay stuck at the low-warmth stage:

Beware the ‘As*hole Trap’ (low warmth, high power)

The ‘as*hole approach‘ can deliver some respect and attraction with a display of value-taking power (Pinker, 1997).

But it’s a dead end that caps your potential.

Just like women’s ‘entitled b*tch approach’, the asshole approach is mostly effective below, to lower status and unaware men and women.
And it appeals mostly to younger men who dream of being ‘alpha‘ but must still develop their baseline self-esteem -see ‘alpha male posturing‘-.

Higher-quality men and women won’t be impressed.
Instead, this approach breeds enemies, caps your potential, and harms relationships—especially with high-quality people.

The a*shole approach increases enemies

P.S.:
Men stay away from women playing the equivalent ‘entitled game’:

Low-warmth and high-power women seek to signal status, high demand, and exclusivity. It’s a manipulative strategy, don’t fall for it

Power & Warmth For Baseline Behavior

Power and warmth work best for most people and situations and align with our foundational social strategies.

The advantages include:

• More friends and fewer enemies
• Better leadership in free groups and societies, including attracting and retaining talent
• Better close relationships
• Deeper influence as it better aligns with prestige (Henrich, 2015)

Finally, chances are it’s also better for you and your health, both mental and physical.

You spend less time and resources ‘instilling fear’, displaying anger, or policing others (Haslam, 2006).
Instead, you get positive feedback from the world. People think and treat you as an upstanding, value-giving and honorable man. And that reinforces your confidence and self-esteem.

🔎 Quick Examples of High-Power, High-Warmth

Just for a taste of what high power and high warmth can look like in real life:

• Work: Set deadlines with authority, but ask, “How can I support you?” Team loves it.
• Social Settings: Lead the convo confidently, but spotlight others—”Tell us about your trip!“
• Relationships: Be the leader, but be a ‘leader for both‘. Ie.: “I’ve got this, and I’ve got you.“
• Across-the-board: Look people in the eyes when greeting, parting, or thanking
  🙋🏼‍♂️ I always thank service workers with direct gaze and a smile

How to Become High-Power

This website is dedicated to making you high-power.

Just as an overview:

1. Self-development for status, strategic thinking, money, etc.
2. Remove submissiveness, in behavior and words
3. Increase social power, in behavior and words

Or for a one-stop program for the highest speed and effectiveness, check out Power University.

How to Become High-Warmth

There are two dimensions of warmth:

1. Behavior & nonverbal: friendly attitude, smiles, nods, etc.
2. Moral with a reputation for being a fair and honorable person

Research shows that morality is more important.

Great news.
Warmth can be misread as submissive and it wastes time.
So if you want to be more ‘masculine’, decrease smiles and nods and cover warmth with our honorable approach that includes ethics.

Moral Traits

The traits and attitudes include:

• Honesty, fairness, and ethics
• Adding value and win-win
• Prosocial attitude and behavior
• …

Actions signaling moral warmth

Besides what we list in our honorable man approach, daily signals include:

• Give back after you’ve been given 📣🟰 Win-win approach
• Tips and charity contributions 📣🟰 Prosociality
• Differentiate trash 📣🟰 Shared resources preservation
• Clean after yourself at canteens and restaurants 📣🟰 Consideration towards lower-status strangers
• Contribute to team goals and objectives 📣🟰 Team player
• Speak about high-quality people you respect 📣🟰 Honorable
  • Distance yourself from as*holes

Behavioral & Nonverbal

First of all:

1. Avoid low-warmth expressions

• Downward lips 📣🟰 “I’m unhappy with life”
• Smugness 📣🟰 “I am so much better than you all”
• Overly dominant poses 📣🟰 “I’m the domineering force (you watch out)”

For example:

Downward lips, overly dominant, angry, meme-like haughty, and “better than you” smart alec

2. Add warmth signals

Starter pack:

1. Nod or slight head bow upon meeting someone the first time

2. Flash your eyebrows upward when you first meet someone

3. Higher-pitched voice, when saying “bye”
   🔎 Audio example:

Next from most basic to advanced:

• Build them up, if you admire something, say it

• Fully engage them, be interested, ask questions, and relate
  And:
  • Self-disclose. Make it a give-and-take, also share about yourself to avoid being an information-taker
  • Be (appropriately!) vulnerable, especially if they’re anxious or share a vulnerability, you can relate back

• If you both start talking, invite them to go first (lower power but higher warmth)
  • If you cut them off but keep speaking, acknowledge it and give back the floor
    Example: “Sorry if I jump in” and then: “You were saying… ?“. Then, listen

⛏️ More cues here

But to keep it simple, remember that for most traits it’s about calibration and balance:

🛠️ Try warmth to turn enemies into frenemies
Some people act distant because they think that you think are too good for them.
Try warmth to show you respect them. If it doesn’t work, go back to low warmth.

And an important reminder for people pleasers:

Note: Why ‘Power’ Beats ‘Competence’

Fiske’s original research refers to “competence”, while Leary’s original insights refer to ‘dominance’

Dominance and the IPC model are in general closer to our interpersonal-focused approach.
But we prefer ‘power’ for three reasons.

• Definition: power better fits the description

“Competence” is defined as “the capacity to enact one’s intentions” (Fiske et al., 2007).

While competence can fit that description, we believe it aligns even more closely with power at its highest level of abstraction.

Dominance comes closer in meaning to power but is narrower in scope.
It often refers to overt interpersonal behavior, whereas power encompasses both explicit and implicit forms of control, both interpersonal and non-interpersonal. That broader coverage aligns more closely with our model.

• Power is free of positive (and potentially naive) connotations

Second, the name ‘competence’ has positive connotations while ‘dominance’ carries negative ones.

In our TPM’s philosophy, the positive framing of ‘competence’ can make it naive by excluding the ‘darker’ and more domineering, value-taking expressions of power.

Power is more neutral, encompassing both value-giving and value-taking approaches.

• Power better describes reality

Finally, we believe that power is a better descriptor of reality. A reality that includes social power dynamics.

Competence, with its positive frame, runs into some issues.

For example, would you define Trump’s yank and pull signature handshake as ‘competent’?
Here they are for you to review:

Trump: (yanks people towards him to sub-communicate he’s the most dominant)

When asked whether Trump’s handshake was competent or warm, a fellow social skills teacher replied, ‘neither’.

It’s understandable that with ‘competence’ she runs into such an issue.
She expects ‘competence’ to be ‘nice’—or at least neutra and not aggressive and domineering.

To us instead, and with our approach, these approaches make perfect sense.
And we can easily fit Trump -and any other domineering and aggressive approach- into the extreme version of power. Extreme power without warmth = over-dominance = bullying. But still neatly fits into the stereotype content model.

In Summary

People assess others first for their power and friendliness.

Power gives you respect, and friendliness gives you friends.

In most free-forming relationships and free societies warmth complements and increases your social effectiveness and well-being.

To be high power and high-warmth, move confidently, and treat others respectfully.