How do you know if you’re dating a fuckboy?
Well, some of them are easy to spot.
But some try to hide their true selves.
Experience also helps: once you meet a few, you will start growing your fuckboy-spotting antennas.
But until then, this guide is here to help you.
8 Signs Of a Fuckboy
All the following signs are indicators that you’re dealing with a fuckboy.
None of them by themselves is a guarantee, but once you put them all together, they start telling you a fuckboy story.
#1. The Fuckboy Approaches Quickly
Practice makes smooth
Most men are tense before approaching a girl.
It will show once he actually approaches, and some men will be open and vulnerable about their own feelings and tension.
But a fuckboy builds his pride around not being tense. He prefers cold approaching, just to show that he’s a hunter. And he will try his darn best to look ballsy and in control.
If the fuckboy has been around the block, it’s possible he truly doesn’t feel much pressure anymore.
It might be the case that chasing skirts is the fuckboy’s sole occupation, in which case he might have become well versed in it.
He:
- Approached you in “difficult” conditions
- Approaches himself (VS sending a friend)
- Was out by himself
See an example of a deep-sounding fuckboy from the movie “Vicky Christina Barcelona”:
Low-level, clueless fuckboys are likely to use pick-up lines, while more aggressive fuckboys can open with sexual compliments about your figure.
#2. Dress to Impress
Better style = easier lays
Any seducer worth his salt knows that a good style gives him a huge leg up in dating.
The fuckboy also tries to have his own style. But he often botches it. He overdoes it, exaggerates the alpha male poses, comes across as too “macho-man” and, ultimately, you just have to think “what a fuckboy”.
Players tend to take better care of themselves than the average Joe, and the average fuckboy will either try to dress to look tough, or adhere to the latest fads.
Often, he does not have his own style but copies whatever is trendy and whatever the latest teen band is popularizing.
Fuck boys usually prefer street attire, tank tops, and/or bad boy style (tattered clothes, leather jackets, etc.).
However, the higher-level fuckboys will also know that a solid suit and a classy style work wonders.
See an example from “Crazy, Stupid, Love”:
#3. Fuckboys Want to Skip Dating
Players a few hundred years ago might have courted you and smothered you with love letters.
But today the game has changed, and fuckboys are a modern, libertine, and mostly urban phenomenon.
In today’s diverse and fast moving societies with lots of options, fuckboys go for quantity, not quality.
They seek “down-to-fuck girls”, and try to screen for them.
Fuckboys will:
- Try to get you home as soon as you meet
- Try to schedule a date as soon as you meet
- Talk little about yourself and themselves
- They already have a place in mind
- And they insist on their place because:
#4. Fuckboys Date Near Their Place
And follow a process
Low-level fuckboys are disorganized in their dating as much as in their lives.
Don’t expect much from low-level fuckboys, neither in terms of conversation, dating, or, possibly, even sex.
Higher-level fuckboys, though, are more organized.
When they meet you, players might ask what you would like to do, but they have something in mind anyway.
Here are a few fuckboy warning signs for the date:
- Meeting place is close to his place
- Gives you 2-3 options, which can include his place
- Knows the staff of your date’s location (goes there often)
- Lets you speak and ask questions (more advanced players)
- Ends the date himself (more advanced players)
- Asks you if you want to go back “for a drink” or “for five minutes.”
#5. Fuckboys Quickly Make Their Move
Comfortable and quick move
Players want to get to sex fast, so they will try to coax you to their place as soon as they feel they possibly can.
Once at home, if they are experienced, it’s likely they will follow a process. Here are a few signs:
- Lets you take your shoes off (you commit to staying)
- Shows you the house (you get comfortable)
- Too good a place (great music, books about tantra and massage, etc.)
- Stays in the kitchen for a bit (bedroom might be too quick)
- Makes a move early
- If you reject him, he won’t be flustered, but go for it little later (more advanced players)
#6. After Sex The Fuckboys Only Meets At Home
Sex-based relationships
Have you had sex already?
If so, the fuckboy will try to go for a “sex-at-home based relationship”.
Meaning he will invite you over and go out a little, if at all.
The more demanding and entitled fuckboys will even ask you to prepare and bring something to their place:
#7. Fuckboys Lie. A Lot
This is the most important part.
And what really differentiates a fuckboy from a high-quality womanizer (read more in the next paragraph).
Fuckboys lie and hide.
They will try to make up for their mistakes with a show of affection and love, trying to win you back and make you feel good.
Alternatively, they will try to make you dependent on them with the opposite behavior: treating you badly and making you feel unworthy.
But they won’t leave you, because they need you for sex and validation.
Watch out, particularly for small lies and inconsistencies, because they hide bigger ones.
Did he say he was meeting Bob, but a week later he said he met Alex?
His family was in town for a week, but when he talks about it later on, it was 10 days?
The more you spot him, the more likely it is that he is a low quality fuckboy.
#8. Fuckboys Puff Up Their Chests With (Fake) Confidence
The fuckboy obeys the mantra that “confidence makes women wet”.
And to look confident they will go to the gym, repeat themselves how great they are and try to fuck women to get their filly of ego stimulation.
When the fuckboy is inebriated, he is at the top of his world. He is less afraid of rejection and can lay it on thick, just the way he likes it.
Here is the cocky fuckboy approach (from the movie 500 Days of Summer):
Liquid confidence swells the ranks of fuckboys in bars and clubs.
The Misanthropic Toxic Fuckboys
There is a more toxic version of fuckboys.
The women-hating fuckboys.
They seek success as “revenge” against women and how badly they treated him (often it’s a huge victim mindset and all in his mind).
They are likely to hang out in communities promoting toxic masculinity, read women-hating authors such as Rollo Tomassi, and use feminism as an excuse to attack women and paint a society of “us men vs. them women”.
They call themselves alpha males, but they are emotionally damaged and alpha male postures per excellence.
Stay as far away as possible from these bitter, low-quality men at all costs.
Fuckboys VS Womanizers
The difference is huge.
I will call fuckboys the low-quality players, and womanizers the high-quality ones.
Most sources online refer to low level fuckboys when talking about players (for example, Wikihow and Goodmenproject).
But that’s very reductive because high-quality players can make for great short-term relationships, sex, excitement, or rebound.
Or, when they stop, they can make for great long-term partners, too.
High-Quality Players
High-quality players have richer lives, have an abundance mentality when it comes to dating, and believe they can give a lot.
Since they feel they are enough and the next woman is behind the corner however it goes with you, they don’t lie (nearly as much).
Many of them will actually be upfront.
High-quality players are also more likely to care about you and your feelings. And they don’t want you to get hurt.
Rayan Gosling in the example above is actually more on the high-quality side than on the fuck boy side.
In some cases, women with high-quality players will actually gain even if the relationship ends abruptly.
Naomi Campbell, for example, considers his ex-playboy boyfriend Flavio Briatore a mentor.
In case of age differences indeed high-quality womanizers can be a sort of mentor or father figure.
Low-Quality Fuck Boys
The low-quality players don’t have a major life goal beyond women and small timing.
They don’t have -or don’t feel they have- that much to offer. Except for a di*k, which is not in short supply anyway.
Since they often don’t feel they are good enough, they make up for their lack of lies and shenanigans.
These are the guys who create drama, build two different relationships at the same time, and string women along for as long as possible.
They also often use women to feed their egos (read validation player).
These are the players that will tell you that you’re great, better than your friends, that they love you, etc., etc.
The protagonist of the movie “The Pick-Up Artist” is a great example of a fuckboy. Is he a low-quality dude with little going on in his life?
Lies and mind games are his forte:
As for all low-quality fuckboys, lying must be part of his repertoire because who he is as a person wouldn’t be enough to attract a woman.
Summary
Fuckboys can be all you need for a night.
But you should at least know you’re dealing with one, and you should be able to differentiate between a low-quality fuckboy and a high-quality fuckboys (womanizer).
The issue with fuck boys, contrary to high-quality womanizers, is that they are low-quality men overall.
Internally conflicted, low-level fuckboys get their validation through your emotional attachment (ie.: “two girls are into me, I must be great!”).
And that can eventually hurt you.
If you missed the fuckboy signs and have already been hurt: don’t let that become bitterness towards all men.
Fuckboys are just but a tiny minority.
Also, read:
