Are you wondering if you’re dating a fuckboy?
Once you get some experience it won’t be difficult to see the signs of a fuckboy from a thousand miles, but the first time it can be a bit daunting.
This post will help you to weed out the fuckboys from the non fuckboys.
Make sure you read at the end about the high quality womanizers and the low quality fuckboys though. You might want to avoid the fuckboys, but you could be OK with a high quality womanizer.
7 Signs Of a Fuckboy
All the following are indicators you’re dealing with a fuckboy. None of them by itself is a guarantee, but once you put them all together, they start telling you a fuckboy story.
1. Smooth Approach
Practice makes smooth
- Approached you in “difficult” conditions
- Approaches himself (VS sending a friend)
- Was out by himself
2. Sense of Fashion
Better style=easier lays
A good style gives a huge leg up in dating.
Players tend to take care of themselves better than the average Joe. They like either very stylish clothes that sets them apart, or a bad boy style (tattered clothes, leather jackets etc.).
3. Straight to Date
Players of a few hundred years ago might have courted you and smothered you with love letters.
But with today’s metropolis and fast moving societies fuckboys tend to cut straight to the chase. They:
- Try to set a date and time when you met in person
- If not: won’t chat much but:
- Will quickly propose a date
- They have a place in mind
- And insist on their place because:
4. Date Close to His Place
And follow a process
When they meet you players might ask you what you want to do, but they have something in mind anyway.
Here are a few fuckboy warning signs for the date day:
- Meeting place is close to his place
- Gives you a 2-3 options, which can include his place
- Knows the staff (goes there often)
- Lets you speak and makes questions (more advanced players)
- Ends the date himself (more advanced players)
- Asks you if you want to go back “for a drink” or “for five minutes”
5. At Home ASAP
Comfortable and quick move
Players want to get to sex fast, so they will try to coax you to their place as soon as they feel they possibly can.
Once at home, if they are experienced, it’s likely they will follow a process. Here are a few signs:
- Lets you take shoes off (you commit to stay)
- Shows you the house (you get comfortable)
- Too good a place (great music, books about tantra and massage etc.)
- Stays in the kitchen for a bit (bedroom might be too quick)
- Makes a move early
- If you reject him, he won’t be flustered but go for it little later
6. After Sex No More Dates
He will try to make it mostly an “at home relationship”. Meaning he will invite you over and go out little (and maybe even tell you to bring something).
7. Lies and Inconsistencies
This is the most important part. And what really differentiates a fuckboy from a high quality womanizer (read more next paragraph).
Fuckboys lie and hide. They will try to make up for their mistakes with show of affection and love, trying to win you back and make you feel good.
Alternatively, they will try to make you dependent on them with the opposite behavior: treating you badly and making you feel unworthy. But they won’t leave you, because they need you for sex and validation.
Watch our particularly for small lies and inconsistencies because they hide bigger ones. Did he say he was meeting Bob but a week later he said he met Alex? His family was in town for a week but when he talks about it later on it was 10 days?
The more you spot, the more likely it is that he is a low quality fuckboy.
Fuckboys VS Womanizers
The difference is huge. I will call fuckboys the low quality players, and womanizers the high quality ones.
High Quality Players
High quality player have richer lives, have an abundant mentality when it comes to dating and believe they can give a lot.
Since they feel they are enough and the next woman is behind the corner however it goes with you, they don’t lie (nearly as much). Many of them will actually be upfront.
High quality players are also more likely to care about you and your feelings. And they don’t want you to get hurt.
In some cases, women with high quality players will actually gain. Even if the relationship ends abruptly. Naomi Campbell, for example, considers his ex playboy boyfriend Flavio Briatore a mentor.
In case of age differences indeed high quality womanizers can be a sort of mentors or father figures.
Low Quality Players
The low quality players don’t have a major life goal beyond women and small timing. They don’t have -or don’t feel they have- that much to offer. Except of a di*k, which is not in short supply.
Since they often don’t feel good enough, they make up for their lack with lies and shenanigans. These are the guys who create drama, build two different relationships at the same time and string women along for as long as possible.
They also often use women to feed their egos (read validation player).
These are the players that will tell you that you’re great, better than your friends, that they love you etc. etc.
Most sources online only talk and refer to low level fuckboys (for example, Wikihow and Goodmenproject). But that’s very reductive, because high quality players can make for great short term relationships (which you can use as rebound guys for example).
Or, when they stop, they can make for potentially long term partner too.
Signs of a Fuckboy: Summary
Fuckboys can be all you need for a night. But you should at least know you’re dealing with one.
The issue with them, contrary to high quality womanizers, is that they are low quality men overall.
Since they are low in self esteem, low level fuckboys get their validation through your emotional attachment (ie.: “two girls are into me, I must be great!”).
And that can eventually hurt you.
If you missed the fuckboy signs and have already been hurt: don’t let that become bitterness towards all men. Fuckboys are just bit a tiny minority.