Nothing lubricates the gears of love like a great playlist of seductive music.
A great soundtrack is one of your best bets for successful escalation, make her fall in love and give her an unforgettable time.
Even for couples, the perfect music will make your time together all that more special.
So let’s review a few ideas for a great soundtrack for romancing:
1. Bruce Springsteen
Romance The Mannish Way: Show Her Who’s The Boss 🙂
The Boss is passionate and romantic at the same time without ever getting corny.
He’s also a handsome and mannish performer that will reflect well on those who choose him.
An old favorite of mine, here are a few picks:
- I’m On Fire: a masterpiece of dripping sexual desire.
“hey little girl is your daddy home, did he go and leave you all alone, I’ve got a bad desire, I’m on fire”
- Tougher Than The Rest: perfect ambiguity between the propositioning for love or a roll in the hay
Well it ain’t no secret I’ve been around a time or two, Well there’s another dance All you gotta do is say yes
- Human Touch: some touchy-feely lyrics, but great to add a layer of “broken man seduction”
You can’t shut off the risk and pain – Without losin’ the love that remains
2. Slow Classics To Dance On
Dance Is Love… While Standing With Clothes
When you want to put the full romance moves on, the most archetypal romantic moment cannot be missed:
The slow dance.
Dancing is a mix of romantic and sexual. It hints at and can be the prelude of, more carnal, physical contact to come.
Unless you’re prepping out and pre-gaming for clubbing, stick to slow classics.
She might think it’s corny, but it always has a big impact, even when it’s corny.
Here are some good options:
And a good example of “there is no corniness in romance”, including for high-power frame control:
(moon river starts playing)
Her: so corny
Him: no! It’s classic. Listen
Him: (tells a story about his parents, reminiscing, shows a glimpse of his most vulnerable and emotional self Then invites her to dance)
And just in case some of you might think “it’s just a movie”, you only need to read the real-people comments below it:
The slow dance is also a good move before sex to make intimacy more special and unique.
You can also use it as a tool to gauge where you stand with her.
If she hugs you tight you can likely go ahead and become lovers soon.
If she stops moving completely and just rests her head on you, she’s smitten and really likes you a lot (and tread carefully if you’re not into commitments!)
As a last note, I avoid it when I’m dating women who are around my height because the stereotype of the slow dance is “man taller, woman shorter”.
So maybe you want to skip this if you’re around the same height or if she’s taller (or keep it for after intimacy).
3. Mellow Classics
The Romance Bread & Butter
These will form the bulk of your playlist.
You can talk over them, or cook while you listen, or, well… Also get down to it of course.
Expand your romantic playlist with mellow classics until it’s several hours of songs, so it can cover a whole night.
Pick depending on your tastes here as long as the sound is mellow, romantic, and warm.
The goal is to display your “romantic side”, so it’s best if at least a few of them are popular and she’s heard them before.
- James Blunt: I picked “High”, but he’s got several good ones
- Dylan: Lay, Lady Lay: a nice ballad
- The Cure: “Pictures of You” is a good one
- Highwayman: a romantic string of adventures through reincarnation. You know women dig those 😉
- Moby, Porcelain:
- Simon & Garfunkel, Scarborough Fair: a transcendental sound for a transcendental experience
- Pearl Jam: Wishlist is great for romantic nights
- Classical: if you go classical, pick something easy on the ear or it’ll be too much (Ennio Morricone here from “Once Upon A Time In The West)
- Kings of Leon: Closer is about a vampire, a common woman’s fantasy. Perfect to slowly move closer and kiss/bite her on the neck
- Certe Notti by Ligabue: if you’re an English speaker adding some foreign songs is a must. It makes you come across as more worldly and open-minded
These are better for later on and not first dates since they clearly reference “love”:
4. Romance Soundtracks: Your Songs
Romance Soundtracks are songs specific to your story and relationship.
They stress the “us” and must feel unique to you two.
It’s always good to stress and openly state (ie.: “thread expand” and “surface”) each special moment you enjoy so they grow bigger, and get burned into her memory.
And the romance soundtrack is one way of doing exactly that, with a song.
For example, when I was in a relationship with a girl flying to see me, a song that spoke to us was “leaving on a jet plane” by Peter Paul and Mary.
Or if you meet a woman during your party years, it might be a party song, too (“Sky and Sand” by Paul Kalkbrenner was another big one for me).
When I’m living in Berlin, another popular artist has been David Bowie since he was living in that city and was a great representative of the “alternative” vibe that many people enjoy about that city.
The more the songs talk about you two, the better.
Play these songs more than once and she will come to associate that song with you two -or simply with the night together-.
And if you stay together for longer, they can become the songs of your relationship.
Soundtracks don’t necessarily need to be sentimental in a stereotypical way.
But they must give you two the feeling of being bonded, special, eternal, or living an unforgettable moment with no past and no future -simply suspended in time-.
And they must pack a strong emotional punch. Have a “soul”.
The essence of romance.
Some examples of songs with a strong emotional punch:
- We Can Be Heroes: Romance for the Underground. You two can beat The Man. Just for one day. Or forever and ever. The essence of romance.
“We can be heroes, just for one day;
We can be heroes for ever and ever“
See what we’re talking about here?
We can be heroes. Just for one day, on this very special day, you’re living together.
Or we can be heroes forever and ever, hinting at the possible beginning of a great love story.
- Sky & Sand: romance for the party people
Design our own world,
Ain’t nobody understand.
As long as we are flyin’,
All this world ain’t got no end
“We design our own world, that nobody understands” are the perfect lyrics.
They speak of you, being so special together, that you’re in a bubble where there is only the two of you -and nobody else understands that-.
- Gigi D’Agostino – L’Amour Toujours: the king DJ of the ’90s, with another song for party lovers
I still believe in your eyes
I just don’t care what you have done in your life
You’ll be my baby and we’ll fly away
And I’ll fly with you, I’ll fly with you
One video version of this song is also perfect as a video, with anime characters (Final Fantasy?) moving in a world of fantasy:
Final Fantasy also works for ambiance and background videos for your seductive environments.
It works great because the stories are modern interpretations of millennia-old myths of knights and heroes fighting the “good battle” against monsters and dragons. And the women in the saga look feminine and submissive, so their expressions subconsciously frame the interaction as men in charge, and women following.
Avoid anything with Iron Man though, that character is a pussy-whipped, low-power ***.
5. Trance Rhythm
To go into trance
Says a neuroscientist on Quora:
Trance music calms down the limbic Brain.Quora’s answer by neuroscientist, redacted for brevity
It brings down stress-related neuro chemicals and hormones like cortisol and norepinephrine. And at the same time can increase the levels of oxytocin and Serotonin which are happiness and trust Neurochemicals.
Sounds like the perfect music to throw away the mask.
And grow intimate with the release of bonding neurochemicals.
Adelyn Birch also lists “hypnosis and trance” as one of the main tools that make women attached to the wrong types of men.
6. Romance From Exotic Sounds
The Romance Of Far Away Lands
Relationships born in the same cultural and socio-economic background are the most common.
And also the most boring.
Give her a dream of a faraway place and time instead.
Music from a place with no boring jobs, traffic, and inept men.
Music from a land of unending romance and love
Gondolas in Venice, sopranos in Spain, and “elle ne regrette rien avec toi” when it hails from Paris.
If you have nothing that screams romance about your background, weave a story around the song as it starts playing.
Say what it talks about, what it reminds you of.
Pristine white mountains, sunsets on the beaches, backpacking adventures…
You talk about them, she dreams of experiencing their sublimated essence… With you in mind.
7. A Song For You To Sing On
Taking It To The Next Level
Put in your playlist a few songs you can sing along with.
Sing them on your own as well so you also get better -and make yourself happier, too-.
It wouldn’t hurt to have a great voice but you don’t need to be great.
Actually, you might even get some points for singing badly: it shows you’re not afraid of making a fool out of yourself.
And sing early if she’s a bit nervous, it will release tension and put her at ease.
Like Ashton Kutcher shows you:
Him: Roll the windows down, turn the music up, and make an ass out of yourself, it puts them at ease
The good thing about singing also is that it shows a positive, happy personality.
An attitude of “Lust For Life” to quote Iggy Pop. That’s a very, very positive trait. We all want to be around positive people.
I know the lyrics of most songs I like, so I can pick whichever moment I want to make a fool out of myself.
This one is the most stereotypically romantic song I have in my playlist, which sounds difficult but is actually rather easy to sing on: Tu Che Mi Hai Preso Il Cuor.
And bonus points if you have a guitar of course.
Note: we’re talking about just a bit of singing here, a few lines of lyrics. It’s not a performance.
8. Break Pattern Songs
Roller Coaster Ride
Similar concept to “venue change”:
Same as always sitting in the same place can feel stale, staying always in the same tempo and rhythm can start feeling dull.
And if it’s all very high romance, it can start feeling saccharine.
Changing the tempo and mood of your songs is often a good idea.
I like to mix more romantic songs with something happy and lively as well.
- Dancing In The Dark: Keep the romance mood but with more rock power
- Summer of 69: The melancholy of reminiscing on a great young love mixed with an uplifting beat. An air of rebellious freedom from the ’60 plus 69 in the title :).
- It’s My Life: It’s now or never, I just wanna live while I’m alive, my heart is like an open highway, an optimistic shout to enjoy the moment
- You’re Simply The Best: if you’re having a great time, she’ll associate “the best” with you
- Rolling Stones: most of the Stones is great, a great mix of rock and sensual
- Libiamo: the perfect classical song for the situation. Explain to her it’s about drinking and enjoying life: you set the right frame and even come across as cultured
- Rihanna’s “We Found Love”: there’s something perversely beautiful and addictive in the whirlwind romance mixing craziness, love, and abuse
Same as for the blinking lights in seductive environments, you want smooth shifts from one state to another.
So you want to stay in that “happy song section” for at least a few songs before going back to the mellower sounds.
Avoid These Songs
Unless you’re already lovers, skip any song with guys who:
- Promise they’ll do anything for her
- Cry their heart out
- Complain about breakups/women/life
They send the wrong message.
And unless you’re thinking about getting serious or are already serious, I would avoid all those (many) songs falling in this category:
- Professing eternal love
I would personally avoid anything too overly sentimental as well.
For example, I used to like Elvis Presley a lot but too many of his songs are a bit too mushy and low-power.
The Mindset of Romancing
The perfect romancing playlist starts with you at the helm.
The best playlist won’t make for a great evening of romance by itself.
But a cool guy who knows how to move plus a great romantic playlist will take her to heaven.
Here is what needs to go along with that romantic playlist:
A Man Leading
You can alternate songs with her.
But once you’re 100% in romancing mode, don’t ask her what she likes, or if the music is OK for her. This is no “getting to know each other time” or the moment to go for parity of the sexes.
One must let go to fully experience romance. So let her go 100% without worrying about anything.
You let go 90% and with the other 10% make all the rest happen (the songs, the drinks, the dance, the light conversation, and then the lovemaking).
It’s your world she’s stepping into, you’re leading this dance. Take her by the hand and bring her along on a beautiful journey of romance.
A Contagiously Passionate Man
You’ll notice this post is not just a list of romantic songs.
It’s because the songs must mean something to you.
Romance is feelings, and feelings are notoriously contagious.
You must love the songs you pick.
At times you will describe them, explain what’s so great about them, why you like them so much, and sometimes you will sing over them a bit.
Be passionate, love the moment and she’ll be passionate with you.
Think about the most romantic movie scenes you know.
Or some great romance in your life.
Probably there was a song or a few songs linked to them.
Good music is an essential moment to enjoy a great night of romance and you should take good care of building your own romance playlist.