Winning Body Language by Mark Bowden is an atypical book on body language, which is great.
It focuses on the emotions your gestures -and, surprise, the height of your hand gestures!- communicate to the audience and the people around.
It was a fresh air of novelty and taught me many new things.
- Exec Summary
- Full Summary
- Hands Position: The Truth Plane
- In Breath VS Out Breath
- Passion Plane
- Disclosure Plane
- Thought Plane
- Right / Left Plane
- Ecstatic Plane
- Indeterminate Smile
- Head Tilt
- Yes State: Increasing People’s Statuses
- Push & Pull Gestures
- Handshake Power Plays
- How to Make People Feel Great
- Body Language of Podium
- Body Spacing
- Dominant Body Language
- Real Life Applications
- Keep your hands at navel level to relax and send a message of trust
- Give people the upper hand and accept them fully (Yes State) to make them feel great
- Use an indeterminate smile to draw people in
Mark Bowden starts by saying that most business presenters do it all wrong with their body language. For example, many have their hands by the side, hunch over their shoulders and crunch their stomach in. Some even tuck their head in, narrow their eyes and move around.
This is all wrong, the author says, because this is what the human body naturally does when we are getting ready to attack or to face an attacker.
We lower our center of gravity to be more grounded, to duck more easily and we move around so as to stay a moving target and jump more easily if needed.
Other sign of flight or fight are moving to the angle of the audience to decrease our vulnerable area and to hide behind an object.
Now the issue with that is that we mirror what we see other human beings do. And if we the message we send is a nervous and aggressive one of flight or fight, that’s what the audience will be feeling.
Hands Position: The Truth Plane
Mark Bowden clearly repeats you should never drop your hands by your side and you should not stand still. Even if that’s what many presentation training recommend.
Instead, the universal signal that lets everyone know you have good and positive intention is to gesture on an horizontal plane originating at the navel.
Mark Bowden calls the plane originating from the navel the “Truth Plane”. Keeping your hands in the Truth Plane will also naturally let you fight anxiety and helps you relax.
The author also speaks about a client of his who was extremely tense about public speaking. The suggestion of positive self talk of his colleague were utterly useless. He is indeed of the opinion that in almost all cases of stage fright battling the fear is useless. Instead, he told him to accept his anxiety for what it is, embrace it and counter it with hands in the Truth Plane. It worked like a charm.
In Breath VS Out Breath
Mark Bowden says that the “breathing from the belly” is not the magic pill that will instantly make you an effective presenter. Instead, he says to breath effectively you need to imagine a string is pulling you up from the crown of your head, lengthening your spine and at the same time making sure you stay well connected to the ground.
When you breath with this position, Mark Bowden says, you are mostly in the in-breath position. The in breath inspires audience, the out breath expires them.
Just as a note, this runs contrary to Vanessa’s suggestion on speaking after having breathed out to sound like you have a deeper voice (body language of love).
The Passion Plane expands from our chest area. When gesticulating from this level you raise the energy level. The passion Plane can also come across as aggressive, so Mark Bowden says you want to use the Passion Plane for content that is exciting and energetic, and you want to communicate from the Truth Plane for content that you want to come across as honest and sincerely felt.
I really loved Mark Bowden’s example of a business situation in which a woman calms an irate customer by sitting down-thus staying physically lower-, exposing her belly by moving the chair away form the table, and by gesticulating on the Truth Plane.
The author says that the jaw and mouth are the disclosure plane. If the audience cannot see this part, it will seem as if we are closing off and not revealing all the information.
Mark Bowden says that at the level of the eyes and the temples we have the though plane. Gesticulating from this area near our head will put mental strain on our words. But if we move our hands wider apart, it will seem agitated and crazy
Right / Left Plane
The author then speaks a bit about the significance of gesticulating on the left or right plane. He says that for most people the right hand is connected to the left side of the brain and to cognitive thoughts and the other way around. Telling someone to imagine something with our right hand works better and using your right hand for multiplication tables will make it easier to follow them.
Mark Bowden says that gesticulating above our head will give our message an elated, over the top feeling.
I really enjoyed when Mark Bowden went into what he calls the “Indeterminate Smile”. An indeterminate smile is what the Gioconda has in the famous Da Vinci painting, but also the Ko-omote smile.
A similar smile is an indicator of acceptance that makes the audience feel welcome and invited in the conversation. The author says that this type of smile is positive enough to draw a viewer in, but at the same time it’s also indeterminate enough that the viewer projects his own feelings onto the face, thus inviting the audience to look in themselves.
Laugh or Cry This slight smile is the facial key to inviting an audience to listen to you because, just as with Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa smile, the smile on Ko-omote varies depending on the viewer’s imagination or state of mind. The smile is positive enough to invite a viewer toward it with a feeling that he will be accepted, yet indeterminate enough that the viewer easily projects many of his own feelings onto the face of the communicator (the mask)—again to feel accepted. In short, an indeterminate smile invites the members of an audience to look into themselves.
I love when Mark Bowden says that tilting your head does not drop your status making you look subservient -unless you believe listening is subservient, he adds-.
Indeed the head tilt sends the message that you are listening. And a prolonged or heavy tilt adds strong empathy.
I also found interesting, and noticed it myself when testing, that tilting your head to the left engage the right part of the brain and tends to furrow your eyebrow with thoughts and questioning. A tilt on the left instead gives a lighter feeling.
Beauty matters, and symmetry is one of the major elements of what we perceive as beautiful. Armed of this knowledge, Mark Bowden says we should strive to use symmetrical gestures, which also help leading the eyes of our audience more easily toward our mouth.
So here’s a sneaky power move I enjoyed getting to know: when you talk about your competitors, keep a positive appearance at a verbal level but use asymmetrical body language. Back talking about your company and product, go back to symmetrical body language.
Yes State: Increasing People’s Statuses
When he starts speaking about social status Mark Bowden enters in style in the most interesting territory for The Power Moves. He says that we all naturally move towards increasing our status and we naturally move away from decreasing our status. So if you could communicate in a way that increases people’s status, they’d be drawn towards you.
And then, he proceeds to telling us how to just do that: the Yes State.
You get into the Yes State by opening up and exposing your full belly and chest area to your audience. Lengthen your spine so that you stand tall and confident, yet vulnerable at the same time.
To get naturally into a Yes State consciously think “yes, good” and your body will follow.
The author says that performance review are most often seen in a negative way no matter how you try to spin the “improvement areas” because they’re often delivered with a closed body language. And when you can give a reward experience with your feedback, the need for a raise in salary is reduced.
Mark Bowden says that you can watch the Yes State in the Hollywood actors on red carpets and as they stand with for the paparazzi’s pictures.
I particularly enjoyed when the author suggests you use the Yes State when you are under attack in business situations. Instead of closing off and going on the defensive, open your body, show your belly area, nod and put on a gentle smile. He says you will be amazed at how quickly you can move him to your side.
Push & Pull Gestures
Mark Bowden says that pulling something towards us is a gesture of acceptance, while pushing away is a strong gesture of rejection.
Handshake Power Plays
The author says that an effective handshake which builds trusts makes full palm to palm contact.
If you push your hands towards your partner’s stomach he will become passive even when he was aggressive at the start of the interaction because, near this vulnerable part of the body, he unconsciously feels that his position is now compromised. You are now the one in power.
Read also my article on how to defend from an Alpha Male Handshake
How to Make People Feel Great
Another part in which I thought “I love Mark Bowden” is when he says that instead of trying to dominate someone, you can reward him with the upper hand and make him feel great.
To let him have the upper hand, simply turn your hand with your palm facing up and slightly move his hand into your belly area at the level of the Truth Plane. The author says your partner will naturally feel good and will likely smile.
And later on, he righteously reminds us that people who give status to others are perceived as people who have enough to give away.
And if it weren’t enough, I again found myself fully agreeing with the author when he says that the influencing and persuasion is more about knowing the messages you are sending than reading what the others are sending you back.
And wasting time reading other people’s body language is either a time waste for the fool -or for the very expert rich in time-. Reading other’s body language is a low value effort when you can instead influence others.
Mark Bowden characteristically says that a good communicator should send the message you are there to help and to feed and to give. A good communicator must also avoid any body language that makes people defensive. And threatening someone’s territory is a sure fire way of doing so.
You invade someone’s space when you lean on, touch or stand very close to someone’s objects, which include desk, laptop, stationery etc. A special attention should be given to leaning against a door, which is a potent and unconscious major physical sign for most of us. A doorway is the way, and it’s the way out. It’s our escape in emergency, and having that escaped blocked by standing on it or leaning against it triggers our flight or fight switch.
I also found it very interesting that lots of power is held by those who control and create a territory or access to vital resources such water coolers, provisions and light and heating.
The author also recommends to watch out for crowds and groups. When we see more than four people we perceive it as a crowd. And seeing them all together and nearby can be threatening. So if you are introducing a customer to your team it’s a good idea to break them in groups of two.
Body Language of Podium
If you have read thus far you will know that a podium, by denying access to the speaker Truth Plane, can be a barrier to trust. An exception is when the podium presents some important logo or insignia at the belly height that restores that trust and symbolism. The eagle on the US presidential podium is such an example.
Mark Bowden says that another draw back of podiums is that the only gestures the audience will see are the ones on the chest area, the Passion Plane, which is more likely to make the speaker seem a bit too excited and over the top.
Mark Bowden cites Hall when he says that social distance is correlated to physical distance. People of similar status stand closer to each other, and the same is true when you have an emotional connection to someone.
Also, the closer we are to someone, the more we influence him. So as a speaker it can be a good idea to step closer to your audience, as long as you don’t get too close as to towering over them or stepping into personal boundaries.
Mark Bowden says that a great tip is to notice the point at which you can’t anymore see the feet of someone without dropping your gaze down. At that point you can’t anymore foresee all their movements and that’s when an important barrier has been crossed.
Dominant Body Language
Mark Bowden says that height conveys high status. A loud voice, bigger and broader gestures and aggressive colors all add to dominance, and put together they can be too much and come across as threatening. I was particularly interesting in seeing how the bright colors also influence dominance.
Mark Bowden mentions reds, blacks and yellows as aggressive colors.
And if you are shorter, here’s a nice tip not to lose dominance with taller people: stand further back and don’t turn your head up but use more your eyes to look at them.
The author also reminds us that you can command status at any height, and that the two are connected: people with high status are indeed perceived to be taller than they actually are.
Real Life Applications
Be Open When Under Attack
Resist the urge of fighting back and trying instead being as open as possible when under attack and criticism
Make Others Feel Good
Influencing is about making others feel great and drawing them to you and to your point of view. Adopting a YES State with your body language is one of the ways you do that.
Maybe a few more pictures or other visual resources could have been helpful.
Winning Body Language doesn’t have very high reviews, but I found the book eye opening in many ways.
Absolutely recommended. Mark Bowden speaks the truth.
When many authors are selling low value added courses on “spotting all liars with body language”, Mark tells us you should focus little on reading other’s body language and more on your own body language. This is true in terms of priorities because sending the right message allows you to influence and change others. Simply reading others instead is much more passive.
I also particularly loved that Winning Body Language focuses on how to make others feel great. For example, instead of teaching us how to defend from the upper hand, Mark Bowden tells us to give others the upper hand and make them feel like a million bucks.
He says that Machiavelli and his rule of better being feared than loved is a silly one -and Machiavelli died in poverty-.
Now, you don’t want to always give status and you need to know how to defend from Power Movers, but what he says is true: social dynamic and body language is often taught and learned through the lenses of dominance and defense. But real influence is more often about making others feel great