Want to boost your social status and earn respect?
At The Power Moves, we specialize in helping men master power dynamics to achieve high status and influence.
Backed by social psychology and experience, this guide reveals how to blend prestige (competence and value-giving) with strategic dominance to gain status in any group.
Let’s dive in:
Contents
1. Be More Prestigious
Social psychology research highlights two approaches to status:
- Prestige ➡️ Competence and value-giving power
- Dominance ➡️ Coercion and value-taking power
🟡But Avoid ‘Powerless Prestigious’
Don’t mistake prestigious for ‘powerless’.
Value without power-intelligence only makes you a bigger mark.
This study for example shows that people behave more dominant with submissive men, a cue of people’s innate exploitative nature.
Hence:
2. Be More Dominant
Meta-analyses show that trait dominance predicts leader emergence.
Dominance outperforms many other traits including conscientiousness and intelligence.
A dominant approach includes:
- Expansive body language while subordinates match with diminutive body language.
- Getting bigger helps, with a bidirectional relationship: higher-status men are perceived as larger
- Lower pitch or constant. Avoid raising your pitch since men who view themselves as weaker do it
- Visual dominance, defined as the ratio of looking while speaking to looking while listening
- Look away more while listening: High-status and dominant spent equal time looking while speaking and listening, and looked less at subordinates (Ellyson et al., 1980)
High visual dominance was similar between dominant men and high-status men.
Trump often looked away while Carney spoke, while Carney often looked at Trump speaking
See:
🟡But Avoid ‘Domineering Jerk’
The dominant ‘works’ in the right contexts.
Unfortunately, even the domineering approach ‘can work in some contexts.
For example, research has long considered bullying a tool to gain power and social status (Olweus, 1993; Vaillancourt et al.; 2007).
But the more domineering it turns, the less effective it becomes in free societies. Especially if you want top-performing, high-value teams who can vote with their feet.
Plus, it’s higher risk:
⚖️ Leadership based on value-taking dominance becomes shakier as the group grows.
It’s a mathematical property: the more the group grows, the more the leader’s strength is outmatched by subordinates (‘leveling coalitions‘).
It’s true even in chimps, and even more so in humans.
This study and this meta-analysis show that social support, social skills and intelligence influence status more than physical size and aggression.
3. Be Both Prestigious & High Power 🦅
A recent theory states that competence is the only way to status, underpinning both prestige and dominance.
We tend to agree, and take the best of both approaches for maximum effectiveness.
Here’s how:
- 🧠 Win-win mindset: ‘I seek power for myself, while elevating the best people around me‘
- High competence, socially, in life, and in your specialized domain
- Positive Dominance based on competence
- Prosocial dominant leadership: give to givers, and (socially) punish the takers.
Punishing freeriders earns respect, trust, and even more money
- Prosocial dominant leadership: give to givers, and (socially) punish the takers.
- Social dominance, less physicality, and more frame control, tonality, and sub-communication
- Balanced dominance, without being domineering. See: ‘law of optimum balance‘
- Confident body language, without over-spreading
Eg.:
- Confident body language, without over-spreading
Comfortable in one’s shoes, subtly proud, without overdoing it
See more:
- High-power / high warmth,
- High-status behavior and speaking
- Avoid submissive behavior and low-power speaking
Or best of all:
- Power University, shows all the cues of positive dominance
4. Focus on The Foundations of Status
Here are the biggest secrets to gaining status in any group:
- Be a high-value man to gain status anywhere
- Be high-status in larger society, to be pre-framed as high-status
Foundations of Personal Value
High-value and high-status are different, but so interrelated we sometimes even used them interchangeably.
Status is a social construct governed by social exchanges, and high-value men get status because they can give back (Henrich, 2015).
Examples of universally valued traits:
- Confidence
- Optimism
- Competence
But also a good style, humor, and upbeat personality help.
Build value with our guides:
Foundations of Society-Wide Status
Most groups inherit status from the wider society, and society-wide foundations are almost universally valued:
- High-status job
- High income
- Resources
- Fame <— The true ‘status hack’ and superpower
5. Grow Socially Skilled
It’s called social status because it’s a game of socialization.
Start with:
- Fix negative social value like awkwardness and social anxiety
- Calibrate and fit in: social calibration is the true meta-skill of socialization
Common calibration issues include:
- Uptight in ‘chill’ cultures
- Too smart-sounding among lower classes
- Too formal/informal for the context
- Not masculine enough among prototypically masculine men
Then graduate to the true game of social power:
6. Socialize Strategically For Status
Average men talk casually.
Men who advance socialize purposefully and gain status with a repeatable process.
🛠️ How to Climb To The Top
Extroverts emerge as leaders more than introverts, so start right away:
- Start with lower-status individuals to warm up
- Calibrate to your level. If you’re a beginner, start with ‘wallflowers’
- Gain group intel to facilitate your status acquisition.
Eg.:- Who leads it, who organizes it?
- 🙅🏼♂️
Don’t ask about attractive women, it gives weird/sexual harasser vibes
- Display value with confident body language, high-power smiles, etc.
- Work your way up the status ladder in your subsequent interactions
Power Tip: Grab The Spotlight
If people take turns for public introductions, do this:
- Stand up
- Walk in front to face the group
It displays confidence and leadership.
You’d often be the only doing it, making you memorable.
Facing the group when introducing yourself is an immediate status boost
🙋🏼♂️ Several people approach me when I’ve done it, including women.
And I’m still getting free invites to paid events.
Greet Prestigious Men, Avoid Dominants
The dominants’ game requires submission—don’t give it to them.
Avoid them at first and go instead for prestigious men.
They’re more welcoming, and raise your status by association.
🙋♂️Lucio’s Experience: Starting with the ‘Yoda level member’
Lucio:
When I first joined a running club, I approached the oldest woman.
I respected a 70+ woman who still runs marathons—and I bet everyone else also respects her.
Bonus points, she was a doctor (high SES).
Her friendship raised my profile and facilitated my next moves.
Approach The Leaders After You Displayed Value
And make it:
- Natural, when you’re nearby, to avoid looking like you’re chasing
- Low-key, like you don’t even care they’re leaders
🙅🏼♂️ Why not starting from the top
When you approach the leader first you are:
- Chasing for value
- Shamelessly climbing, while effective men do it smoothly
- Taking because you’re still a nobody
Exceptions apply, but ‘straight to the top’ is not the best default strategy for most.
It’s better to make your move on the king after you grab the king’s attention.
7. Pick The Right Groups, And Gain Group-Value
While some forms of value are universal, status is also relative.
Different groups and eras value different status symbols and traits (and virtue signal accordingly).
For example:
- Runners’ group ➡️ Speed/endurance, nutrition expertise
- Activist students’ group ➡️ Political activism, cannabis-sharing
- Work ➡️ Competence, bottom-line impact, rank seniority
- Party friends ➡️ Extroversion, ‘fun’, female friends
Closeness to leaders and networks are group-specific but valued in any group.
🙋♂️Lucio’s Take: Focus on the foundations, de-prioritize group-specifics
Lucio:
Single group status is low ROI because it’s worthless outside of it.
And it makes you needier and dependent, limiting your freedom.
Focus on personal value and power-skills instead and you’ll be good in any group.
Better than working on growing your value:
👉🏼 Pick Based On Skills, Interests, and Similarities
Many men struggle with status because they stick with groups that randomness picked for them—school, neighborhood, or work.
A mismatch of skills and group-valued skills harms both status and acceptance
Instead, pick social circles that complement your interests and strengths:
- Smart ➡️ Intellectual circles
- Handsome ➡️ Party crowd or large circles
- Man ➡️ Woman-dominated profession for extra attention
Pro tip: mind the similarities.
⚠️ Make your background, race, or gender wok for you
Unfortunately, humans form ingroup/outgroups based on meaningless similarities and ‘differences’. Be aware of covert devaluations. Don’t fall for fake politeness and actively rebalance things.
8. Be Ready to Compete & Defend Yourself
Status is a scarce resource that people compete for.
The competition rules are contextual and we discourage nasty competing: it signals poor character, and there are better approaches.
But you must be ready to defend yourself.
If you do it well, you can gain status and respect 10x faster.
🛡️ Self-Defense Example
Him: (back pat) Thank you for coming. Enjoy the place <— High-status host attitude
You: (touch him back) <— Neutralizes physical power move
Thank you for organizing <— Judge compliment
you guys are doing a great job <— Frames him as working for you
If you have power, let them play their dominant game, and checkmate them later.
Moe Greene: (Walks in with ‘big alpha male’ attitude, aggressive)
Godfather: (Understated power, advances without aggression)
Remember: dominance is a subset of power.
And strategy beats dominance.
Learn more:
Be Smart With Physical Treaths
Consider safety and long-term interests first
95% of fight ‘victories’ provide little/no benefits
Principle:
⚖️ The more status is negotiated with physical fights, the lower the group’s payoffs
However, brawling losses and excessive fear can still cost you status.
Here are some tips:
- Take martial arts classes, it will give you more confidence even without ever fighting
- Back down without total submission. Eg.: shake your head in disapproval to display continued judge power
- Stick to your frame of verbal engagement only
- Shame the attacker as a ‘brute’
- Reject the attacker’s covert frame that the physical fight decides the outcome
A great example:
Attacker: (seeks a physical fight)
Udy: (confident and in control) Nobody’s gonna do that, if that’s your reaction, you can leave <— Rejects the fight with power, while maintaining control 🦅
Immediate respect for Udy.
🙋♂️Lucio’s Take: I only retreated… But not displaying fear still increased my status
Lucio:
All I did was walking backwards with my hands up as the attacker advanced.
‘I must have lost a ton of status’, teenager me thought.
But days later, a friend teaching another ‘how to be a man’ used me as an example: ‘See Lucio with that guy? No fear.’
Even in retreat, resolve against a larger and aggressive was a net win (bigger attacker = bigger pelotas).
9. Be ‘Positively Machiavellian’
‘Emotional intelligence’ is a popular item in status-related articles.
But while important, it won’t take you far without good strategies.
Studies show that Machiavellians gain early status in group formation, and status researchers list ‘political skills‘ as a status-attaining trait.
Some aspects of good strategies:
- Develop alliances, make friends that are both high-quality and helpful
- Sub-communicate value without bragging, a life skill in itself
- Fake it till you make it. It’s perceived competence, signaled with cues like confidence, amount of talking, and pride displays
Many modern-day gurus ‘inflate their competence’ with dominant frames and various competence-inflating techniques
Note: we do not like nor endorse faking it without developing actual competence.
And strategic thinking beats tactics anyway (as we dig deeper in Power University).
🔎 Example: Leveraging Your Connections
Me: Let’s meet at the reception <— I want staffers to see I’m friends with their managers
Soon after, no more breakfast queues, and window table reserved. I’m sure it helped they saw me with their boss.
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