Dominant men: how to meet, date and attract them

Guest

#1 · July 27, 2019, 6:24 pm

In relationships, in most cases, there is always one up and one down.
One person is dominant and one person is submissive.

I am a woman and I want to attract dominant men for relationships.
People also get attracted to people who are similar to them.

What can I do to attract dominant men for relationships?

Lucio Buffalmano@lucio

6,275 Posts

#2 · July 30, 2019, 1:22 am

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on July 30, 2019, 1:22 am
First off:

You don't need to be a dominant woman to date a dominant man.

Even dominant men might pass up women who are too dominant, if that dominance means being catty and combative, and struggling for relationship control.
That's because these guys often work hard, spend their whole day getting things done... And when they get back home, the last thing they want is another struggle for control.

Look at many of the most driven and dominant men in the world.
They seldom end up with one of the aggressive and go-getter types of alpha female (but the charming and feminine type of alpha female would work well). That's because you can't have two roosters under the same roof.
They wouldn't get along too well.

Just look at the husbands of the most go-getter women. They are not dominant men.

Many tycoons and dominant men's spouses tend to be pushed into their feminine energies by their men anyway. Or they were already more submissive and feminine, to begin with.

At the same time, here too, balance is key.
Dominant men also don't want women who are too pushovers.
That's because, as you say, people tend to pair up with those who are similar.

Being similar in dominance levels though doesn't mean you will push back on him to "show who's boss".
It means things like:

You're a driven woman

You know your worth

You respect your boundaries and don't allow people to walk all over you

You take good care of yourself

You like dominance in men, but you know full well the difference between "dominant" and "abusive". And you don't take abuse

You got that "spunk" that makes him think "this lady got balls" (but while still remaining feminine!)

Of course, there are exceptions.
Some dominant men are also happy with women who are much more submissive than they are.

Especially men who are high in power, they sometimes like being the undisputed leaders of their relationships.
That's why you see some high-powered tycoons who have very demure women instead of more similar high-powered career women.

Coming to your question:

How to Attract a Dominant Man

First off, make sure you make yourself into a high-value woman.

Dominant men who are going places are high-quality men, and they want high-quality women.
Dominant men who are not going places are just low-quality abusers, they end up with low self-esteem women, and you don't want those (see below).

As I explain in sexual market value hacks, the first question I would ask you, is this:

Are you putting yourself in the situation where you are most likely to meet the types of dominant men you like?

If not, then you know what you gotta do: start frequenting those places.
For example, by mingling in places where there is a higher concentration of dominant men.

How to Find a Dominant Men

The first, and most crucial aspect to finding a dominant man, is to go where dominant men are.

Off the top of my head:

Gyms with lots of power-lifters

MMA and boxing gyms (more of the meatheads type of dominance)

Bars where policemen hang out after work

High-class lounges (you find the rich driven ones there)

Hunters' clubs (more of the primordial type of dominant men)

Shooting ranges

Survival classes and clubs

Car and motorbike racing clubs

Republican political circles (republicans tend to be higher in power than democrats)

The good types of dominant men are great.
They are straight shooters, they tell the truth, they don't string women along for a lifetime, they have high self-esteem and confidence, and they make for great fathers, too.

But dominance is an amplifier.
It amplifies the good in men, but if they are pieces of s*it, it will also amplify the negatives. That's why you must be careful:

Avoid Low-Quality Dominant Men

Needless to say, not all men high in dominance are abusers.
But almost all abusers seek dominance and/or control (including psychopaths).

Some of the low-quality ones also seek dominance over their women as over-compensation for their feelings of being a failure (some of the worst scumbags possible).

Here are some articles to help you discern the difference:

types of abusive men,

signs you're dating sociopath,

the scourge of power-hungry men,

Protective and jealous, or paranoid?

Be very watchful at the beginning of a possible relationship that high dominance does not overlap with abuse.

Most women like a dominant man.
But some women who can't see the difference end up with an abuser, instead of the dominant leader they wanted.

First off:

You don't need to be a dominant woman to date a dominant man.

Even dominant men might pass up women who are too dominant, if that dominance means being catty and combative, and struggling for relationship control.
That's because these guys often work hard, spend their whole day getting things done... And when they get back home, the last thing they want is another struggle for control.

Look at many of the most driven and dominant men in the world.
They seldom end up with one of the aggressive and go-getter types of alpha female (but the charming and feminine type of alpha female would work well). That's because you can't have two roosters under the same roof.
They wouldn't get along too well.

Just look at the husbands of the most go-getter women. They are not dominant men.

Many tycoons and dominant men's spouses tend to be pushed into their feminine energies by their men anyway. Or they were already more submissive and feminine, to begin with.

At the same time, here too, balance is key.
Dominant men also don't want women who are too pushovers.
That's because, as you say, people tend to pair up with those who are similar.

Being similar in dominance levels though doesn't mean you will push back on him to "show who's boss".
It means things like:

You're a driven woman
You know your worth
You respect your boundaries and don't allow people to walk all over you
You take good care of yourself
You like dominance in men, but you know full well the difference between "dominant" and "abusive". And you don't take abuse
You got that "spunk" that makes him think "this lady got balls" (but while still remaining feminine!)

Of course, there are exceptions.
Some dominant men are also happy with women who are much more submissive than they are.

Especially men who are high in power, they sometimes like being the undisputed leaders of their relationships.
That's why you see some high-powered tycoons who have very demure women instead of more similar high-powered career women.

Coming to your question:

How to Attract a Dominant Man

First off, make sure you make yourself into a high-value woman.

Dominant men who are going places are high-quality men, and they want high-quality women.
Dominant men who are not going places are just low-quality abusers, they end up with low self-esteem women, and you don't want those (see below).

As I explain in sexual market value hacks, the first question I would ask you, is this:

Are you putting yourself in the situation where you are most likely to meet the types of dominant men you like?

If not, then you know what you gotta do: start frequenting those places.
For example, by mingling in places where there is a higher concentration of dominant men.

How to Find a Dominant Men

The first, and most crucial aspect to finding a dominant man, is to go where dominant men are.

Off the top of my head:

Gyms with lots of power-lifters
MMA and boxing gyms (more of the meatheads type of dominance)
Bars where policemen hang out after work
High-class lounges (you find the rich driven ones there)
Hunters' clubs (more of the primordial type of dominant men)
Shooting ranges
Survival classes and clubs
Car and motorbike racing clubs
Republican political circles (republicans tend to be higher in power than democrats)

The good types of dominant men are great.
They are straight shooters, they tell the truth, they don't string women along for a lifetime, they have high self-esteem and confidence, and they make for great fathers, too.

But dominance is an amplifier.
It amplifies the good in men, but if they are pieces of s*it, it will also amplify the negatives. That's why you must be careful:

Avoid Low-Quality Dominant Men

Needless to say, not all men high in dominance are abusers.
But almost all abusers seek dominance and/or control (including psychopaths).

Some of the low-quality ones also seek dominance over their women as over-compensation for their feelings of being a failure (some of the worst scumbags possible).

Here are some articles to help you discern the difference:

Be very watchful at the beginning of a possible relationship that high dominance does not overlap with abuse.

Most women like a dominant man.
But some women who can't see the difference end up with an abuser, instead of the dominant leader they wanted.

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Guest

#3 · March 13, 2020, 9:40 am

I do feel overwhelmed that I attract abuser types... or men that want to be a daddy and think I am “gentle” “innocent” “demure” to use their words on recent dates. But the man I like is put off by my pushing him away that has to do with this fear. I don’t say I have this fear but I did tell him about my bad dream about him. And my good sexy dream about him. But there were actually 2 negative dreams that scared me... maybe i shouldn’t have told him about these dreams? He says my communication is bad but he doesn’t know I got pistol whipped and since this happened I have insomnia and troubles communicating, and also PTSD. It was a robbery car jacking. I feel like crying about this is not appropriate. But I gave these people $20k and I still owe them 30k. If I don’t pay they said they will make me a sex slave in the desert... I don’t know how to explain this all to him. Maybe too soon.