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How Talulah Riley manipulated Elon Musk (emotionally manipulative relationship)

Talulah Riley manipulated Elon Musk.

Big time.

And we might even argue that Talulah Riley's relationship with Elon Musk was an emotionally abusive relationship.

This post will analyze that relationship.

Talula Riley & Elon Musk Video Analysis

In this recent video, I went over Elon Musk relationship with Talulah Riley.

Watch the video here for the footage and below the breakdown of her manipulation.

It's an extremely interesting video because the emotional manipulation is so blunt and obvious that it can serve as a good case study.
I have also noticed there are many good resources for male abusers (think of "Why Does He Do That", "Controlling People" etc.) but no good resources for female manipulation.

I might do something deeper going forward, but for now:

What Are Talulah Manipulation Techniques

Talulah uses many manipulation techniques on Elon Musk.
Depending on how you categorize them, we can divide some of them as follow:

  1. push/pull;
  2. positioning herself as the prize (to keep him chasing);
  3. threatening to end the relationship (breakup threats to keep him on his toes);
  4. devalues her life with (showing contempt for her family life despite the luxury makes sure he doesn't feel "superior" because of his success, shrwed power move)
  5. lowering his self-esteem (to keep him dependent on her approval, this is soft power)

Needless to say, these types of power games make for a highly toxic relationship.
Unluckily Elon Musk, in good part because of his complete lack of emotional intelligence and total lack of understanding of even basics social and power dynamics, does not see them.

Why Does Is Talulah Riley So Abusive to Elon Musk?

Let me preface this that psychology is not an exact science.
And it's much less exact when done digitally and.. From a few videos :).

That being said, here are a few possible explanations:

  1. She feels insecure and like he's too good for him (she brings him down to rebalance the relationship)
  2. She enjoys the power
  3. She fears people think of her as a bimbo, and that's her (mistaken) way of proving everyone wrong
  4. She's afraid he doesn't respect her, so she tear him apart in an unconscious effort to
  5. She's a sadist

About the last one, it's a minority of course, but there a few women who take pleasure in shaming their partners (I once had a girl hug me and tell me she was getting wet... In front of her boyfriend :S. Talking about awkward).

In the first case, it would also be Elon Musk fault for not making her feel valued and like he is with her for more than a nice booty and a pair of perky breasts (a common communication mistake for men). But then again, you can't expect much emotional intelligence from Musk :).

My personal guess is an overreaction to Elon Musk being so famous and adored the whole world over (while she's a nobody) and, frankly, an overall low-quality personality.
But that's just my personal guess.

In any case, the why doesn't really matter that much.

Talulah Riley Power Moves are typically male games

What's interesting here to understand human nature is that Talulah Riley power moves are actually the power moves you would normally see from men.

Why so?
Because it's usually men who, instinctively afraid of female hypergamy and of losing her interest (and her vagina to some other men), have a bigger need of "keeping her down". Women don't usually have such a need: women love higher quality men!

It's only when females' low-self esteem mixes with a dominant personality and with a very talented (but socially stupid) man that we sometimes get to see women trying to one-up men (like in this case).

What should you do when you're victim of abusive behavior?

I talk about this at length on other articles.

But in short, I usually recommend:

  1. Give your partner one last chance
  2. Tell what are your rules and vision of a supportive relationship (there is a script for that on this website)
  3. Give yourself a timeline (never longer than 6 months!)
  4. If the behavior is not gone... Then you're gone

 

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Awesome critique! Loved reading this 🙂

Amazingly stated!  Elon should hire you!

Quote from Guest on April 5, 2020, 6:11 pm

Amazingly stated!  Elon should hire you!

Thank you!

That makes me think of the "blind spot of success", a topic that executive coach Goldsmith talks about in "What Got You Here Won't Get You There".
Basically, the idea is that the more successful you are, the more you're blinded to your area of improvement. You think "I'm so successful, then I must be doing everything right".
Or "I'm so successful, what can these other people teach me?"

Which is why a guy like Elon might never even end up considering that he's got so much room for improvement in areas of his life that lie outside of business and entrepreneurship.

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Really appreciate the in-depth breakdown!
I have never been able to spot these nuances in his interactions.
Now it all seems to make sense.

I was wondering how is it possible to build a company with such high valuation without understanding power dynamics and having emotional intelligence.
As the CEO and founder of a company, wouldn't he need to attract the best people, convince investors and get customers to buy his products?
He built and scaled the company up from the ground.
Elon Musk is CEO and founder of 2 companies: SpaceX and Tesla.

Would it be possible that he is being played by other more power savvy individuals?

That's a very good question.

How could Elon Musk get so popular, and then be so easily manipulated by Talulah, a starlet?

I'd be curious to hear more opinions as well, but a few ideas:

  • The manipulation of women in dating and relationships is different than the manipulation of men for business. Elon might be better suited to cope with the latter
  • The same "naiveness" that makes him an easy target might work wonders to attract people who think that such a naive person must be good -and probably he is a good person-
  • In Silicon Valley and in Elon's businesses, which are more about "let's make this a better world / save the world" his lack of social and power awareness is less of a handicap, including:
    • He works with many guys who are more like him, more present in his industry than in more cut-throat ones as, say, law or IB
    • His lack of social skills also attracts much talent who is more like him, and there are quite a few in fields such as engineering and software development
    • He brings up the best in people. For example, I would feel like such a POS to take advantage of someone who isn't even able to think of power moves. Paradoxically, that could lead to some people treating him even better than they would treat a very power-aware founder
  • The usefulness of emotional intelligence in the workplace might be overblown by the recent craze around EI. In the workplace drive, goal-orientation, rationality, and "exec skills" matter comparatively more. I wrote about in the reviews of the books of emotional intelligence at work, but also scroll down on this post:

Finally, there is also the law of large numbers.
There are so many successful founders and businessmen. Some of them are bound to be not the perfect prototypes of street-smart businessmen.
It's a bit like height in basketball: almost every professional player is very tall. But then you get the odd one who's so good technically, that he makes it to the NBA even while being short.

Still, I think Elon would be even better at business if he improved his EI and social skills.
And for sure he'd be much better with his relationships, both at picking women, dealing with them, and enjoying much better and healthier relationships -and he'd be a better example for his children-.

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Lucio, how would you describe his relationship with Justine Musk? She wrote a very lengthy article detailing his narcissistic behavior, including telling her "I'm the alpha in this relationship". Also based on accounts of people who worked for him, he would call managers on weekends or at night for impromptu meetings and was very harsh to them. That doesn't sound like someone who's vulnerable to abuse. The other interesting thing is his history with Amber Heard, who was found to have been abusive to Johnny Depp when she was still married to him. So far, Talullah and Amber seem to fit the abusive female types. I wonder about Justine though. It is possible that she was the abusive one, and he reacted strongly to counteract her abuse. Then that leaves his employees who said that working for him burnt them out because he was so demanding.

Hello Victorine!

I haven't been following Musk too much recently.
Just somewhat heard he's been a bit divisive with his comments against social distancing and quarantine, but that was about it.

From what it transpired from the videos I have seen of him, he doesn't strike me like the kind of guy who would say to her "I'm the alpha in this relationship."
But you never know.
Maybe he read around the internet a bit and stumbled upon the red pill.
If he did say it, he probably looked and sound like a big chump (plus, it's a terribly confrontational frame that's harmful to intimate relationships). You know you're a chump when you try to acquire power by telling your partner you are the alpha -and you're probably not if you need to say it-.

But I do believe it's possible, and even likely, that he calls his engineers at any time of the day and week.
You don't build several companies at once, no matter how big they get, and seek to die on Mars without being a super-driven workaholic. And these types of people tend to demand and expect the same form the people around them.
For them working around the clock is the normality, and Musk being probably low in emotional intelligence as he is, he can't even see or respect that's not how most people intend to live their lives.

For the same reasons, I also believe it's very possible that he burned out a lot of people around him with his demands on their time and his expectation for their outputs.

 

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Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on April 22, 2020, 4:36 pm

That's a very good question.

How could Elon Musk get so popular, and then be so easily manipulated by Talulah, a starlet?

I'd be curious to hear more opinions as well, but a few ideas:

  • The manipulation of women in dating and relationships is different than the manipulation of men for business. Elon might be better suited to cope with the latter
  • The same "naiveness" that makes him an easy target might work wonders to attract people who think that such a naive person must be good -and probably he is a good person-
  • In Silicon Valley and in Elon's businesses, which are more about "let's make this a better world / save the world" his lack of social and power awareness is less of a handicap, including:
    • He works with many guys who are more like him, more present in his industry than in more cut-throat ones as, say, law or IB
    • His lack of social skills also attracts much talent who is more like him, and there are quite a few in fields such as engineering and software development
    • He brings up the best in people. For example, I would feel like such a POS to take advantage of someone who isn't even able to think of power moves. Paradoxically, that could lead to some people treating him even better than they would treat a very power-aware founder
  • The usefulness of emotional intelligence in the workplace might be overblown by the recent craze around EI. In the workplace drive, goal-orientation, rationality, and "exec skills" matter comparatively more. I wrote about in the reviews of the books of emotional intelligence at work, but also scroll down on this post:

Finally, there is also the law of large numbers.
There are so many successful founders and businessmen. Some of them are bound to be not the perfect prototypes of street-smart businessmen.
It's a bit like height in basketball: almost every professional player is very tall. But then you get the odd one who's so good technically, that he makes it to the NBA even while being short.

Still, I think Elon would be even better at business if he improved his EI and social skills.
And for sure he'd be much better with his relationships, both at picking women, dealing with them, and enjoying much better and healthier relationships -and he'd be a better example for his children-.

Indeed, I can confirm that a super naive person in the office setting might become well-received as no one will make him as an enemy. They do not gain from office politics but they will also lose nothing from it.

Also, the Silicon Valley entrepreneurs are usually highly educated and more rational when dealing with businesses. The ventures usually employ a modern style of cooperate management as the executives are usually graduated from leading business schools and worked for SP500 companies. Decisions are most of the time made by a group of directors and investors, rather than one person.

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