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Power duck's journal
It's really good to read you, Power Duck.
It's also striking that most of the things you say about yourself are things I also experienced/experience, or in any case had to go through.
For example, when you say that watching anime is a way to escape into a fantasy world... man... I couldn't but remember instantly all the animes I watched for the very same reason :)
And the fact that you are listening to Jim Rohn and Earl Nightingale... I used to devour these kinds of tapes. I also remember listening to Zig Ziglar, who was a strong source of motivation for me (he taught me the idea that "you are a success if you are moving, and a failure if you stay still. That's it. Success has nothing to do with 'getting there' and all to do with just not staying still".).
The discussion about "finding a girlfriend vs having a player phase" is also very interesting.
When I was trying to figure out how to attract a woman, I expended massive effort for so long - sadly no TPM or Lucio for me then :-(
And when I found a woman I really liked, I just wanted to be with her. I was lucky that she is a very beautiful and good woman, and a good person. And that she chose to grow with me.
But I will, just for once, go slightly around Lucio here, and to his suggestion - which, at times, I admit I wished I had also followed - I'll add that I believe one can also master important skills by staying in a relationship.
And sometimes those skills somewhat overlap with those that are needed to have one night stands. Because women are always women, and they always have a tendency to treat you as a person who she meets... "now" - no matter if you have known her for twenty years or two hours. Well, I'm exaggerating here, and there are differences, of course, but the similarities are also many.
In any case I hope you'll forgive me for speaking about myself here.
I look forward to reading about your developments - and your cold approaches, if you decide to go that very rewarding route.
Thanks for the note Bel.
In any case I hope you'll forgive me for speaking about myself here.
No need to apologize🙂, feels good to know that other fellow strugglers and achievers went through the things I'm going now.
I look forward to reading about your developments - and your cold approaches, if you decide to go that very rewarding route.
Thanks, I didn't kept going with the cold approaches but I plan on doing it, postponing things is also a form of procrastination but right now studying maths, PU and raising my status and social net are my main concerns. I will try with cold approaches in night clubs.
I was lucky that she is a very beautiful and good woman, and a good person. And that she chose to grow with me.
Yep, I would say that both of you are lucky :).
Quote from Power Duck on October 1, 2023, 12:27 amTo become the individual I want to be: a man with an unbreakable will, with the skills, knowledge and wisdom needed to make his will and dreams a reality.
I want to see how far I can go, I want to see what it feels to have an unbreakable mind, or as I like to call it, to be a god in mind.
I've had enough of hiding from the things I don't like, and from the things I wished were different. I will become a person that instead of chasing the people he wants to be with, he attracts them, and that instead of hiding from fear and challenge he embraces them and enjoys the struggle:
We share this attitude. You can check Tom Bilyeu if you're interested in mindset. He's great at it. Yes, it's all about becoming.
He says: "it does not matter where you are now. All that matters is where you want to go and the price you're willing to pay."
As you work on yourself you'll become higher-quality and higher-value so people will be naturally drawn to you. From the inside to the outside.
Regarding player phase vs relationship: it's a matter of personal preference. Some men are more the relationship type and others less. Some men enjoy having relationships with several women, others don't. So I think it's up to your own preference.
I think both are different. The player learns to seduce women: from meet to bed. The boyfriend learns to be in a relationship with a woman: dealing with conflicts, differences, vulnerability, common projects, etc.
So it all depends on what you want to learn and what your dating goals are. Logically the player is better at seducing women than the boyfriend and the boyfriend is better at having a long-term relationship with a woman.
The thing is you cannot skip the early phase of meet to bed. So to me these are more foundational. Personally, I would prioritise those. They give you more options and therefore more power. Otherwise you rely more on women's choice and luck in my opinion.
If you want to understand and know women better: prioritise boyfriend approach. If you want to learn how to seduce women: prioritise player approach.
Your age matters as well. You're young. If you never had a girlfriend I would also prioritise it based on your age. Simply because the overwhelming majority of people don't end up in their 40s and 50s with the GF they had in their early 20s. It's totally normal to have a first GF and breakup. It's a normal phase and it's expected in my eyes.
If you already had one I would again prioritise a player phase.
Thanks for the reply John. Agree about pretty much everything you say.
After edit:
Will check Tom Bilyeu, Bel also told me about another public speaker so I'll check him too.
About having gf, nope I haven't had one. Had a fling with a girl some time ago and did really bad, that experience was in part the reason for me taking self improvement way more seriously, and getting into the red pill even further. So it was a good thing.
The boyfriend approach without "player traits" doesn't seem to work for me, it probably has to do with Spain having a very libertine culture or simply because that approach was paired with being too much of a nice guy.
Cheers.
Thank you! I made a couple of modifications.
Several things I've realized this morning after socialising:
- I have to speak in a lower pitch of voice, since my bad speaking habits returned.
- I have to move and speak slower, for starters do everything a bit slower, but steadily.
- Adopting high power behaviour makes one mentally high power and viceversa.
- I get a bit nervous when talking in groups due to low power behaviour.
- Respond to power moves later in case you didn't address it in the moment.
I've also tried being more outgoing (in this case higher energy) for a bit:
- I risk coming across as a try hard/weird, this is good. This means I lack the skills needed to be outgoing without losing power.
- It's easier to socialize this way plus have more fun and have more leeway to maneuver.
What I'll try this morning and the following ones:
- Have very strong eye contact.
- Move and do everything slower, usually scanning the room slowly with your gaze, looking to people in the room in the eyes from time to time.
- Speak in a lower pitch of voice.
- Keep being outgoing but more easygoing, you've already gone today through uncomfortable moments and didn't care.
- Smile less.
Since those are issues you fixed in the past, but started doing it again you'll have to keep special attention to your behaviour and power "account", if you lose power dial up the dominance.
Checking a power move later is still a good strat:
About 2 hours ago I had algebra class (now I'm in the library), and a guy pulled quite a power move:
Guy: I've just being told they call you Donald.
Power Duck: who told you that?
Guy: it was x.
Power Duck: are you gonna listen to that guy? I'll talk to him later.
Right after this I realized this was the wrong response so once the class finished:
Power Duck: by the way man, who are you? You came before with that familiarity and I don't even know your name. (I do know his name, I wanted to surface this nastiness while striking back in a dominant manner.)
Guy smiles right after I tell him I don't know his name)
Guy: it's y
Power Duck: Power Duck.
Another guy next to him: you don't know him? You have talked to him several times. ( this guy plays moves from time to time)
Power Duck: sure but I didnt know his name buddy.
This is a good thing, since my awareness is way above my "response skills" I can check the power move correctly later.
Hello Power Duck,
I think this is all great and I’m working I the same things (voice, posture). One note about what you wrote: many low power behaviour come from insufficient self-esteem in my opinion. So I would focus on that a lot without stopping the rest. Then many power moves you’ll check just because you won’t tolerate bullshit because you think you deserve better.
Regarding checking power moves later. I would advise against it. I received advice in this way from Lucio and it worked for me.
Unless it’s something really important and/or you’re close to the person.
Otherwise I would rather gather intel. Come here write about it and analyse look for your own solution gather feed-back if possible. Rinse and repeat.
Otherwise if you talk about a past situation that might not have been significant for the other person (unless it’s a power showdown) there is the risk of coming across as thin skinned. Also now the other person knows a weakness/insecurity/button. And if they power moved on you earlier probably they don’t have your best interest in mind. So there’s the risk of advantaging an enemy by giving them intel about you.
Maybe a mindset that could help (I would be careful about smiling less but maybe it’s an important phase as well) is about not being submissive. I won’t submit to assholes. For instance.
I read both your update and the interaction now.
From what you say I feel that you think about going the player pathway. If that’s the case from all your reflection about power, being respected, etc. It makes sense. As a friend you know I support any choice of yours (except the harmful ones of course). As a brother-in-arms I think it’s the right way to go based on your whole situation.
I think you will gain self-respect as when one learns to seduce women one takes them of the pedestal. Especially if your culture support the Madonna-whore complex as often catholic countries do. As it’s unconscious.
About the interaction: alright if that’s what you mean by checking the power move later. I’m with you. My understanding was to have a conversation about it. You gained his respect and he even sided with you. Humans (among others) side with the strong. As you did here. What I mean is I advise against in this situation to go and talk about: “what you did there was not cool”.
In short I think you did great and it showed in his respect for you.
About Spain’s libertine culture: I did not know about it. To me it’s more conservative than Northern Europe for instance. Do you live in a big city? I think there’s more variation of sexual behavior within a country between country side and city than between countries.
Since you're interested about Tom Bilyeu, here is a list of links that I recommend (you can skip full episodes of Impact Theory for efficiency in my opinion):
Keynote speeches: Tom explains his mindset, his story and how he acquired it in speeches.
Tom Bilyeu Theory lessons: what we could call "Shorts" today, talks a lot about mindset.
Impact Quotes: quoting highly successful people and commenting on their quotes. I downloaded them about 4-5 years ago, made them into MP3 and listened to them many times during my workouts or when I was down. Highly recommended. They're also short and sorted by topic: you can search from a current issue you're having. If you're interested I would check out the short ones as the long ones are compilations of short ones.
For instance: if the World seems to be against you or You will become what you think
My favourite as you can tell.
Tom Bilyeu Theory: short ones all about mindset.
AMA: longer ones where he goes deeper into explanations. These are questions from viewers about specific issues they're facing or general questions.
Lastly, my own personal collection about the learner mindset.
So here a Tom Bilyeu buffet :D. If that's interesting for you of course otherwise feel free to ignore it.
