The Manipulated Man it is scathing towards women, scientifically off base and imprecise in many social and psychological analysis.
Yet, it also has some groundbreaking content and some men could learn how to improve their relationships with it.
- Women manipulate men to take care of them
- Men happily oblige because thanks to indoctrination and society pressure they don’t know any better
- At the core, women are stupid and men are the only ones who move society forward
However The Manipulated Man is quite unlike any other book on the subject.
Men Have It Bad, Women Have It Good
She says that:
- Men go to war, women not (or don’t have to)
- Men retire later (in spite they have shorter life expectancy)
- Men have no say in whether or not to have a child
- Men support women (the other way around is exceedingly rare)
- Men work all their lives (women temporarily)
- Men are poorer than women
There were no supporting data on men being poorer than women though and no strong arguments, so I wasn’t convinced at all.
Most other points she makes are self-evident and true, albeit I’m not convinced on the conclusion that “women have it easier”.
In my opinion, it would be equally possible to make a list of why women have it harder than men.
At the end of the day, life is what you make it to be and what you focus on. And it’s not written anywhere men have to work harder all their lives.
Men Are Intelligent, Women Stupid
One theme of the book that I am sure would leave many readers speechless is Vilar’s claim that men are strong, intelligent and imaginative while women are weak, unimaginative, and stupid.
It would be easy to dismiss this claim as “nonsense”, yet I believe it’s only fair to give it a proper analysis, which we will do in the “criticism” section.
- Are happy to do house chores because it’s “at their level”
- Will not pursue sciences even when given the opportunity and freed of house chores
- Couldn’t care less about politics
- Only have material demands, never intellectual
- Are not embarrassed by men’s intellectual superiority because have no ambition there
- Only care about what immediately impacts them
- Are unemotional: they just pretend of having feelings
- Are intelligent
- Advance the sciences
- Are interested in technical machinery
Men Shouldn’t Treat Women Like Equals
Men often mistake women as being at their same level though.
So they give them the right to vote (ugh!), access to universities and try to free them of house chores by inventing all kinds of systems and machinery.
But women still don’t do what men thought they would do.
They don’t go into politics, they don’t advance the sciences and they don’t busy themselves with any meaningful intellectual pursuits.
Women Enslave Men
Another theme of The Manipulated Man is women’s enslaving of men.
If men are intelligent and women mostly stupid, how can they enslave men?
To this contradiction of sorts, Esther Vilar replies that women do it by leveraging their stupidity and looking child-like.
Men are feel compelled to look after her because… Who would it otherwise?
The second pillar of enslavement is society-conditioning.
Men simply grow up with the idea of having to take care of women and they never challenge it.
And society then self-reinforce that idea. If a man doesn’t work, provide and take care of a woman, than he is considered a failure.
The pressure than keeps him there, working even in jobs and positions that he despises.
The third pillar is indoctrination.
Who takes care of children?
It’s women, and women indoctrinate them to the ways of society, such as: take care of women.
Read here for a complete list of enslavement tools:
How Women Enslave Men
- Conditioning from childhood
- Social conditioning: it’s masculine to work, feminine to do nothing
- Pressure from society (not providing is seen as a failure)
- By looking silly and child-like on purpose (leverage his protecting instincts)
- By pretending that housework is difficult
- With their stupidity, they become inscrutable to more intelligent beings
- Make him feel smarter and stronger (and like they can’t do stuff themselves)
- With sex (she needs it less than him)
The Exception of The Emancipated Female
Esther Vilar finally makes an exception to the rule of parasitic women style of living.
The exception is the “emancipated” female.
However, the exception is more appearance than reality, as the author proceeds to dismantle the idea of emancipation.
She categorized emancipated females as follows:
- Has to work because he can’t manage to sustain her
- Cannot have children
- Is ugly
- Is actually emancipated
- Has a particular interested in a certain career
Only beautiful women can be emancipated though, because an ugly one never really had any other option.
The emancipated female still takes advantage of the system though. To begin with, it’s easier to raise quickly through the ranks for the simple fact that she is a woman. Since there are so few women around, she stands out.
And still, she makes a big show of how hard it is being a woman in a man’s world and how many headwinds she had to face.
The women who actually achieve a lot provide a great help for the majority of women who keep living on a man’s dime.
They can point their finger at them and say “look what I have given up (to stay at home and be with you)”.
Criticism to The Manipulated Man
Usually I put my criticisms in the “cons” section.
But this book has the potential of being so good, and my criticism is so widespread that I had to make an own section for it.
So here it comes:
- Too Many Conspiracies
As a rule of thumb, I have never been a big fan of conspiracy theories.
Especially so when they go against the grain of logic and social realities.
Here are some conspiracies in The Manipulated Man that left me a bit cold:
- Women manipulate male children into serving other women
- Women all pretend that house chores are dull (but they actually like them)
- The press all conspires into painting men as rapacious wolves
I don’t think there is any “female design” to indoctrinate men, and I don’t think the press all converge into sharing an ideology that is good for one gender and terrible for another.
Also, I don’t buy the idea that people can be so easily manipulated in doing things that are obviously not bad for them.
If you do your own research you will realize that influencing people to take action that go against their beliefs and interests is far from simple (check The Social Animal for example).
- Staying at home only good for her?
The author paints the choice of staying at home for the woman as only good for her and her selfish needs.
And it never really considers that it might actually be good for everyone.
Instead, here is a possible different view: it’s good for her, it’s good for children, and it’s good for society to since those children grow up with more supervision.
And that means, in turn, less crime, better education and better future for them and society.
I’m not saying this is the truth, I’m only saying that the choice of the woman staying at home is not as simple and clear cut as the author makes it out to be.
- Poor understanding of human bature
The Manipulated Man is genius as it is politically uncorrect at times. For example, when it explains that (many) women are not interested in intellectual pursuits and focus instead on what’s practical and useful (for them).
However, in other passages, it is equally poor in basic psychology and human understanding.
For example the author says that women don’t care about men and only want to impress other women. She says women dress up for other women, not for men.
So here I say it: it’s wrong to say that women don’t care of what men think.
Women care, and care a lot, about what men think.
As a matter of fact, we could probably say that what men think, for women, is a matter of procreation and non-procreation and, therefore, a matter of life and death.
- Factually wrong in several instances
The complete lack of scientific basis in The Manipulated Man surfaces in several factually wrong passages.
For example, I quote:
(..) But women are not capable of the unconditional love a child should have. This can easily be proved. Women only care for their own children, never those of others.
Without any emotion – love, hate, or malice – she is bound to the man who works for her.
The assertion that women have no emotions or feelings is nonsense.
- Poor Understanding of Social Dynamics
The Manipulated Man never stops considering the transactional element of human social dynamics -also read The Law of Social Exchange-.
Esterr Vilar never considers that the “contract” between men and women is just another transaction, which often results in both parties being, if not really happy, at least “cool with it”.
And some men are actually happy with the non-written contract of “I support you, you take care of the house and let me have sex”.
While some other men are actually pimping it by giving women resources while banging them without any hustles.
Instead, she lumps all men-women relationship into the category of “women manipulate men”.
And that’s take me to the other critic:
- Simplistic view of society
The gender roles and society described in The Manipulated Man are extremely simplistic and very black and white.
All nuances are lost here.
Reality is complex, exceptions abound, people have countless and sometimes even competing drives… Any black and white theory is almost bound to also be wrong in many aspects.
- Women are stupid assertion
To be clear: I don’t believe it for a second that women, on average, are stupid.
Or even that they are, on average, more stupid than men.
However, it is a fact that men do are responsible for more scientific discoveries and groundbreaking new products.
Many women indeed are eminently practical and, on average, less interested than men in philosophical theories, scientific pursuits and new discoveries.
And some women are indeed content to settle for less and let their men do the work.
That much is true.
But not that women are stupid.
- Only Positives of Men
It’s true that men pursue more scientific discoveries and are more active in advancing society.
However it’s also true that they pursue more weapons of mass destruction and start and engage in more destructive endeavors that set society back.
In a nutshell, men both build more and destroy more.
So far, on the overall, the trend has always been towards more advancement than setbacks.
But it’s up to all of us to keep it that way.
The Manipulated Man Reception
The Manipulated Man has become a darling of movements such Red Pill and MGTOW.
On the other hand, it has of course managed to royally piss off feminist movements, with the author receiving a number of death threats -which is shameful-.
If you speak German, this is a video interview of Esther Vilar with Alice Schwarzer, a famous feminist leader in Germany (a nation where feminism is huge).
Schwarzer told Vilar that she is not only sexist, but also fascist.
Calling people who disagee with some aspects of feminism “fascists” is typical feminist power move BTW:
The Manipulated Man Quotes
These are some of the most shocking, entertaining, eye-opening or utterly nonsensical quotes I have found in the book (I let you pick which is which):
Apart from a wedding ring – worn to show that he is being used by a particular woman for a particular purpose – a proper man wears no ornaments.
No matter what a man’s job may be – bookkeeper, doctor, bus driver, or managing director – every moment of his life will be spent as a cog in a huge and pitiless system – a system designed to exploit him to the utmost, to his dying day.
(…) but he will never be able to say, Ì’m bored. I want to do something else!’ The woman who is exploiting him will never permit him to look for something else.
What is a woman? A woman, as we have already said, is, in contrast to a man, a human being who does not work.
Women do not use their mental capacity: they deliberately let it disintegrate. (…) It is not essential for their survival. Theoretically it is possible for a beautiful woman to have less intelligence than a chimpanzee and still be considered an acceptable member of society.
By the age of twelve at the latest, most women have decided to become prostitutes. Or, to put it another way they have planned a future for themselves which consists of choosing a man and letting him do all the work. In return for his support, they are prepared to let him make use of their vagina at certain given intervals.
A woman takes interest only in subjects that have an immediate personal usefulness to her. For example, if she reads a political article in the newspaper, it is highly likely that she wants to cast a spell on some political-science student, not that she cares about the fate of the Chinese, Israelis, or South Africans.
If one wishes to have an unusual culinary treat, generally one will not find it at home but at a restaurant, where, of course, the chef is male (LOL)
Without thinking, men fight women’s wars, father women’s children and construct women’s towns. Women just sit back getting lazier, dumber and more demanding – and, at the same time, richer.
(…) are incapable of seeing women as they really are: with nothing else to offer but a vagina, two breasts and some punch cards programmed with idle, stereotyped chatter;
It would be more economical for a man to satisfy his sexual needs with a prostitute instead of rushing into marriage (‘prostitute’ in the conventional sense – strictly speaking, most women belong in this group).
Women live an animal existence. They like eating, drinking, sleeping – even sex, providing there is nothing to do and no real effort is required of them.
Unfortunately, this famous feminine instinct is really nothing but a euphemism for statistical probability. Women interfere and give opinions about everything (..) According to the law of averages, their forecasts will be correct now and again.
If a woman leaves the university with an engagement ring on her finger, she has earned her degree
Real Life Applications
Don’t Become a Butler
Watch out for the tendencies of women to task men and watch out for the rather common pattern of men doing everything for their girlfriends and wives.
Please read the “The Manipulated Man Criticism” section for a more in-depth overview.
Misogynist & Often Too Harsh
I found some paragraphs and passages’ tone to be way too harsh (and needlessly mean) for comfort. For example:
they (women) have a choice – a choice between the life of a man and the life of a dimwitted, parasitic luxury item.
(…) women are good for almost nothing.
Nasty View on Some Professions (Doctors)
The Manipulated Man says that men are in certain line of work because of the female manipulation.
Doctors is one such example. I quote:
The fear of being rejected by society must be considerable. Why else will a doctor spend his life opening up nauseating growths, examining and pronouncing on human excretions? Why else does he busy himself night and day with people of such repulsiveness that everyone else is driven away?
I found that description very nasty. What if a doctor took pride in helping people? Is there no altruism in The Manipulated Man‘s world?
Can Be Eye-Opening
For men who have been buying too hard into the idea of having to provide for women, this book can be an eye opener.
If they can move past their normal, knee-jerk push back, that is.
Hard, Un-PC Truths
I have to hand it to Esther Vilar, she shares some unpopular truths. But the facts that they are unpopular doesn’t make it any less true.
- Women don’t need to be intelligent
- Many relationships are indeed a non-written exchange of sex for support
- Many women do position their relationships into men serving them
- Some emanticipated angry women end up being so for lack of options
This is one of those (few) books that it’s really, really hard to rate.
The Manipulated Man has some genius content that you won’t read elsewhere.
And it can be eye-opening and useful to some men, helping them break free of relationships where they act as servants more than partners.
Even to men who have not been running around, it could still further open their eyes on some intra-sex dynamics.
It’s a great read after the powerful No More Mr. Nice Guy, in that sense.
On the other hand it’s also terrible in many other areas.
Scientifically speaking, The Manipulated Man is farcical. And it also fails in its understanding of key tenets of the human sciences such as psychology and sociology.
In many areas, it simply spread misinformation.
In a nutshell: it can be eye-opening, but it can also be a virus of misinformation.
I would give it:
- 5 stars for groundbreaking view on women manipulating men into “butlering” them
- 0 stars for scientific rigor, misogyny, social and psychological mishaps, sweeping generalizations
That being said, would I recommend you read The Manipulated Man?
Yes, I would.
Get ready to discard a lot of information, then delve in and avoid becoming a butler :).