The Noble Art of Seducing Women is a dating book for men in which author Kezia Noble teaches men how to seduce women from the perspective of a female dating coach.
Takeaways
- Strength is what women want first and foremost
- Signal you’re “higher than her” (with validation & tasks). See our value-signaling framework
- Strong but good men are the ideal and beat ‘asshole types‘
Overview
About the Author:
Kezia Noble has long been a dating coach for men who started in the early pick-up movement first as a ‘wing woman’ for Richard LaRuina (AKA ‘Gambler’) and later went into business for herself.
See our full review here: is Kezia Noble legit?
Chemistry And Game > Looks
Kezia Noble tells a captivating story of a night out when she met a guy who managed to do everything right despite being not the most attractive.
She says that state and frame of mind are very important, as that comes across in your face and body language and people pick on it.
Women Want Strength
Kezia says that while loyalty is the most important trait men look for in women, for women it’s a bit different.
Loyalty is also often among the top three, but what takes precedence is strength. Women want strength.
She then goes into evolutionary psychology to explain why.
Bad Boys VS Caring Men
Kezia says that as a younger woman, up until around 19 YO, she preferred bad boys.
But then started to tire of them and found their rebellious streak childish and a waste of energy.
She started being more attracted to caring men.
Other women she knows though had the opposite and started being into bad boys later on in their lives.
The author uses this example to make the point that men should not worry about superficial traits because those change.
They should focus instead on the most important trait women are looking for strength. “The strength of who you are”, she says.
Get Her Respect First and Foremost
Kezia says, righteously, that a woman must respect a man first in order to be attracted to him.
She introduces the concept of the stage to teach body language (weak stage VS strong stage).
The stage is composed of six columns:
- Leg Position = shoulder-width apart when standing
- Hand Position = don’t keep both of them in your pockets
- Hand Gesture = avoid “palms up” as it feels like you’re begging and that you need help
- Eye Contact = hold gaze in sexual escalation, before kissing and during intense and mood/shifting conversation
- Facial Expression = never laugh nervously or to cover silences
- Vocal Tone = don’t start with “so” or end questions with mumbling, “or” or going up with your voice
Since learning body language without actually watching is difficult, check out these video/picture articles:
But for basic respect, see:
- Respect and why it matters
- How to get respect
The 3 Elements of Attraction
Kezia says that the three elements of attraction are control, impact, and connection.
- Control
Controlling means basically… Controlling yourself and the environment. And Kezia goes more into mindsets adding it’s also about taking responsibility for how things go.
- Impact
The impact is about standing out and grabbing her attention. Kezia also stresses it’s not about being the super entertainer jester of the situation.
- Connection
Kezia suggests going for questions that people don’t usually get asked.
Similar to what Robert Greene mentions in The Art of Seduction, Kezia advises asking deeper questions and then listening (ie.: not ‘how long have you been doing it’ but ‘is that what you parents wanted you to do’).
My Note:
Going so deep so early can be weird, so use it with caution and never in group situations.
See:
Don’t Hover Before Approaching
Kezia Noble says that women are much more aware of men of what goes around while men are often way too obvious.
If you’re nervous to approach, Kezia suggests focusing on the woman’s defects or comparing her to your favorite celebrity or sexual fantasy.
I liked, even more, her suggestion to build a list of qualities you like and then go with a mindset that you want to see if she fits your criteria.
Also, read:
Open High Power
A man approached him asking if she was Italian, and to her “no”, he replied, “how bad, I was looking for an Italian girlfriend”.
This was an interesting high-power opener.
I otherwise didn’t like her “opinion-based openers”, which reeked a bit of The Game by Neil Strauss.
Also, read:
The 9 Hooks Lead System
To keep a conversation humming beautifully, Kezia Noble suggests you think of everything she says as a hook, and then gives 9 hooks to use:
- Open Ended Questions: will make her speak and provide you with many hooks
- Facts: drop some fun facts to lighten the conversation
- Opinion: early opinions show personality and lack of fear. Saying you hate what she likes is a way to make an impact
- Challenge
- Humor: if you say something funny and she doesn’t laugh don’t pretend it never happened but comment on it or laugh by yourself
- Anecdotes
- Tasks: tell her to do something, including to tell you something -but without “please”-
- Validation
- Assumption: a great way to make a raise out of her even when wrong (great story of a psychic)
Since these are a lot Kezia recommends starting with 3 and putting validation and tasks among them.
Don’t Back Down in Arguments Or You Lose Dominance
Kezia says that you should never back down if you enter into an argument. You can and should defuse though.
Tell her to stop, then say you will never agree, and say it’s great because you appreciate she can voice her opinion contrary to most girls who just avoid confrontation.
Place Yourself Above Her & Validate Her
Kezia Noble says that every successful man in seduction places himself above the woman.
Even “alpha women“, as Kezia self-defines herself, also enjoy pleasing a man and doing something that impresses him.
A way to validate is to say that you appreciate something she says or does, as that sets you up as “the evaluator” (also see: soft power and judge power role).
Negative validation is instead about a slightly negative reaction, possibly following positive validation, which should prompt the girl to prove herself to you afterward to regain your approval.
Handle Bitch Shields & Shit Tests With Composure
- Stay detached and keep composure: don’t allow anyone to change your state
- Destroy the negative pattern
- Validate: tell her you to love her attitude
Kezia Noble delivers a couple of great examples, both well-executed interactions and bad ones.
For more, also check out:
Sexual Escalation
Kezia Noble divides the interaction into three stages:
- Beginning: your energy level should be high, at least equal to hers
- Comfort: use this stage to start planting the seed, a man showing attraction is better than a man staying noncommittal for too long
- Seduction: slow down your voice, triangle gaze between right eye, left eyes, and then lips (do it a bit during comfort as well)
Closing: Numbers & Kisses Don’t Matter
Kezia Noble talks about “number close” and “kiss closes here”.
TPM Note: There is only one close for real closers
I very much disagree here on the kiss close as even counting at all.
Kisses not only mean nothing but at times can even be counterproductive by introducing uncertainties in the seduction.
For example, a kiss might happen because you were both very horny. But then emotions come down.
She might feel like the next time you meet it’s going to get to sex because you’ve already kissed.
And since right now she’s not so hot about you, she’ll never come out.
Kezia shares some good techniques, such as taking pressure off of your ask by adding “I’ll text sometime next week” and some I’m less convinced about, like asking her to put her own name on your phone with her nickname.
Call Rather Than Text
If you exchange a number through a direct approach you should call her that same evening.
An atypical exchange should follow that path because you created a moment, but that moment quickly vanishes so it needs a quick reminder (same suggestion Kezia gives on Texting Game and similar on why I suggest calling after a non-answered text).
Otherwise, wait 3 days, and when you call, do something so you seem busy and not like you were just doing nothing and thinking of her.
I laughed at Kezia’s idea on why background noises are helpful: if she says she can’t speak now you tell her that you couldn’t hear and you’ll call her later LOL. She’s a positively Machiavellian coach :).
Strong Good Guys Win
It’s not a dichotomy of “nice guys” VS “bad guys.
“Good guys” instead are men who are as confident and unashamed of sexual escalation as “bad boys” but who do not make women feel bad and used.
See:
Review
The Noble Art of Seducing Women is a good book that gets many of the foundational power dynamics of attraction right.
It could be even better with a stronger process-orientation, an honorable approach, and less ‘PUA style’. But her personal experiences provide a unique angle in the male dating literature.
If you’re an ambitious and smart man interested in mastering dating and getting real results, be it a quality girlfriend or world experiences, check out the training system:
