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What I'm Doing, (Maybe Where 🙂 & Why

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Quote from Ali Scarlett on January 25, 2022, 7:17 am

New Milestone On the TPM Book

We've completed the core manuscript for the official TPM book!

Right now, the book is with a contact of mine who I trust. She's a bestselling author leading a skilled team of professional editors.

While the book is with the editing team, the book description is currently being crafted by a team of professional copywriters. And, once that's complete (we're projecting it'll be done by mid-February) we'll be able to get started on the fun part: designing the book cover and interior formatting.

In 2020, I was concerned that COVID would take my life. So, I cut corners on my own book to get it released as fast as possible. It led to the quick and meaningful impact that I was looking for and I've been able to release a V2 on my website for those looking for more.

But, I'm giving this book all of the TLC I wasn't able to give my own book the first time around.

And, let me tell you, it's going to be something special by the time you guys get your hands on it :).

Boom!

Excited about that 🙂

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Astronomically RevolutionisedZenDancerBelleaderoffun
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 25, 2022, 9:30 am
Quote from Ali Scarlett on January 25, 2022, 7:17 am

New Reviews

I just completed a networking program called Decision-Maker Meetings. It was a $1,044 investment and it was worth every penny for me. (You can see the review here.)

Plus, wanting to start the new year with a review for TPM as well, I joined and completed a negotiation course by Michael Franzese today. (You can see that review here.)

One or two more reviews coming soon before I dive into some other priorities.

Thank you Ali!

Both of them, updated in the resources list.

Cool, thank you as well, Lucio! Feel free to add these reviews too only if you think they'd add value to the TPM community:

The new Instant Network review in the link above is a full deep-dive into the networking strategies of the experts that Ramit featured in the course as well as Ramit's own "Natural Networking" process he uses personally.

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Lucio BuffalmanoZenDancer
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on January 25, 2022, 9:32 am
Quote from Ali Scarlett on January 25, 2022, 7:17 am

New Milestone On the TPM Book

We've completed the core manuscript for the official TPM book!

Right now, the book is with a contact of mine who I trust. She's a bestselling author leading a skilled team of professional editors.

While the book is with the editing team, the book description is currently being crafted by a team of professional copywriters. And, once that's complete (we're projecting it'll be done by mid-February) we'll be able to get started on the fun part: designing the book cover and interior formatting.

In 2020, I was concerned that COVID would take my life. So, I cut corners on my own book to get it released as fast as possible. It led to the quick and meaningful impact that I was looking for and I've been able to release a V2 on my website for those looking for more.

But, I'm giving this book all of the TLC I wasn't able to give my own book the first time around.

And, let me tell you, it's going to be something special by the time you guys get your hands on it :).

Boom!

Excited about that 🙂

This is great news... I, for one, would be very into getting a copy  of the book even the content mirrors the PU materials... when something contains so much value, I like to have a printed 'hard copy' so I can flick through and refer to it without having to use my computer... excited!

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Lucio BuffalmanoAli ScarlettTransitioned

Reconnecting with Old Friends

I joined a networking course (that has a complementary review coming soon) encouraging the idea that "networking" is really relationship-building.

And, while the course instructor doesn't directly say it, he certainly teaches it with his techniques and strategies. One of which was to "re-engage with your old network" which includes reconnecting with old friends.

When I was at my lowest point in my life a few years back, my friends weren't really there for me. And, I held it against them.

Ever since, whenever I lose touch with a friend because they make me do all of the investing to keep the relationship alive, I simply cut them off.

Recently, that changed. As I reconnected with old friends, they seemed happy to hear from me and give updates on what they're up to these days.

And, to those who didn't respond, I didn't "cut them off" which was a more defensive attitude I used to have out of anger. I simply let them go — a healthier way of moving on for me.

Keep an eye out for that upcoming review if you want to see the exact scripts I used to revive those old ties.

Growing as a Person and Becoming a Better Friend to Others

Ever since Lucio gave me feedback a couple of years back that I should offer lunch to make my value-giving more real, I've been doing that consistently.

Recently, someone took me up on that offer that I'd lost touch with. An old acting coach of mine, who's taught Hollywood actors like John David Washington (Denzel Washington's son), won an acting award herself, and produced movies that have won awards as well.

When I reached out to her to reconnect, she said:

Her: "...I usually do not do this, but..." (social credit inflating: "I'm making an exception for you")

A little power move there, but it wasn't worth addressing in my opinion because:

  1. I felt like the eagle approach would be to let it slide: to prioritize rebuilding the relationship first.
  2. It seemed like fair-value social marketing: because she was being honest. She truly doesn't make exceptions like this often.

So, my response was:

And, she was happy to invite me to drop by her class for free (believe me, she charges a hefty dollar...and she's worth every penny :).

I made acquaintances with other awesome actors who are taking her class and got to hug and catch up with my old friend.

The best part: I was happy to buy her lunch. There was a time when I was worried that by going through PU, I'd lose my "nice guy" behavior and along with it, some of my emotional satisfaction in helping others. But, that wasn't the case at all. She expressed gratitude, and I didn't feel at all like I'd lost anything.

If anything, I'd happily do it again because it was truly my pleasure to do something nice for someone I care about.

The next day, I sent her a "thank you" email. That might be where I could've added something like:

Ali: "I understand you made an exception for me in letting me sit in your class yesterday, thank you so much! And, of course, I'd happily do the same for you anytime :)."

And, maybe that could've let her know that I bought her lunch not because she credit-inflated, but because I genuinely wanted to.

But, I didn't think to do it at the time. And, even if I had, I probably wouldn't have because we ended on a win-win anyway, so there was no need.

(I think a part of exercising one's power awareness isn't so much in addressing power moves every time you see them, but in picking and choosing your battles to address power moves only when it hinders your life satisfaction and success.)

And so, I've grown. As a person who's more power-aware, a friend who's better at giving, and a social strategist who's better at choosing when to address certain behavior.

And, my life is better off for it :). Thanks to everyone here at The Power Moves for helping me come so far.

*Note: Please feel free to drop any feedback you have below if you have any, I'm always open to read your thoughts.

New Milestone On the TPM Book

The copywriting team handed back a book description that made the book feel more like a networking book. And, I don't blame them, I'm sure it must have been difficult for some of the same reasons it was difficult to clarify an effective sales copy for PU.

But, the first draft they produced was already packed with gold. And, by adding some of my own knowledge of psychology, copywriting, and the book's goals to the mix, the revision I requested resulted in an awesome finished product.

On top of that, we also got our first looks at the book cover for the new TPM book!

One of them makes the book look like a manual that pays homage to the 48 Laws of Power. The other gives the TPM book a feel that it stands on its own as a uniquely different resource than the current literature out there. I loved them both as soon as I saw them.

When the team gets back to me with the revisions I requested, I'll open up a thread in the forum for your feedback. Until then, hold onto your excitement :D.

A New Attitude Toward Failure

A mindset I added to my system a few weeks back is:

*Failure is the food of high-quality men. The bigger the failure, the bigger the meal.

I woke up this morning thinking about this as a core belief. And, what it really means for how we view failure.

I mean, if this is true, then everyone who ever "gave me" a failure (such as by rejecting me) really gave me food, right? They gave me the fuel (food) to grow.

So, if that's true, I should really be grateful to everyone who gave me a failure. They gave me the food I needed to grow into a higher-quality man.

When I thought to replace any of my unresolved pain from my past failures with gratitude, something shifted. It was a really good feeling of peace and freedom I'd like to explore further sometime.

Caught Up with "Matthew" from the TPM community

It was awesome :).

We had a video call before, but it felt short-lived and we were still figuring out the logistics because we're on opposite ends of the world.

But, this call went much smoother and, at least for me, it was a lot of fun hearing what he's up to and sharing more about ourselves.

This is what I meant when I said I'd love to spread the word about TPM so much that I eventually end up making new friends in the community. (And, I have big plans for how I'm going to do that in the future.)

Now, I'm hoping to meet Matthew in person someday. And, I'm looking forward to when that day comes — as well as meeting any more cool people in the TPM community.

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Lucio BuffalmanoMats G

Awesome Ali!

Quick further feedback:

I'd personally avoid the wording "I'll buy you lunch", it feels very cold exchange and can make people feel like a sort of lunch-whore if they'd meet you based on that.

So maybe better:

Happy to invite you for lunch.

It's implied, more tactful.

Quote from Ali Scarlett on February 5, 2022, 6:07 pm

 

New Milestone On the TPM Book

The copywriting team handed back a book description that made the book feel more like a networking book. And, I don't blame them, I'm sure it must have been difficult for some of the same reasons it was difficult to clarify an effective sales copy for PU.

But, the first draft they produced was already packed with gold. And, by adding some of my own knowledge of psychology, copywriting, and the book's goals to the mix, the revision I requested resulted in an awesome finished product.

On top of that, we also got our first looks at the book cover for the new TPM book!

One of them makes the book look like a manual that pays homage to the 48 Laws of Power. The other gives the TPM book a feel that it stands on its own as a uniquely different resource than the current literature out there. I loved them both as soon as I saw them.

When the team gets back to me with the revisions I requested, I'll open up a thread in the forum for your feedback. Until then, hold onto your excitement :D.

Booom!

Looking forward to it!

Ali Scarlett has reacted to this post.
Ali Scarlett
Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on February 5, 2022, 6:53 pm

Awesome Ali!

Quick further feedback:

I'd personally avoid the wording "I'll buy you lunch", it feels very cold exchange and can make people feel like a sort of lunch-whore if they'd meet you based on that.

So maybe better:

Happy to invite you for lunch.

It's implied, more tactful.

Thank you for the feedback, Lucio!

I'll definitely keep that in mind for the future :).

Sorry for spare wheeling on your convo.   Wondering if a tiny wording change could make an invite flow a bit better.  Maybe I m too scarred from big corporate life.  In that world anytime anyone says 'happy to..' they re not happy.  How about:

"It would be awesome to make you to lunch if you have time?"

 

 

 

Yeah, sounds equally good Kevin.

Maybe consider if you can drop the "?".

I often drop it when it's already clear that it's a question and/or an invite and ultimately up to them to go for it or drop it.
It's both higher power and lower pressure for them, so that they don't feel like they have to reply.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?

Only some brief updates

Did some PR coaching

Someone reached out to me on Instagram recently and asked how I got verified with less than 150 followers. And, if I could help them do the same.

I offered to hop on a call with them and share what I know and, a few weeks later, he got verified.

It felt really great to help someone who's now a friend with something that they expressed was very important to them, especially given that I have almost no control over the outcome in this case and I only did my best to be helpful.

And, that might be the key here: a few others reached out to me with the same request, but had so many WIIFT fails, social exchange manipulations, and poor social etiquette, they made me feel like I didn't want to help.

Moving forward, it might be interesting to start saving some of those requests and messages as case studies to share in the WIIFT fail thread.

Collaborated with author Jonathan Green

If you're subscribed to my email list, you already know the story.

Jonathan Green, author of Serve No Master, reached out to me with an idea. He wanted to do a book swap where we share our books with each other's lists for free for 48 hours. And, if people want to grab a copy, they only need to subscribe.

I agreed and we even ended up opening up the book swap to more authors.

But there was a glaring issue. My list was significantly smaller than everyone else's.

So, when he only saw a small amount of traffic coming from my list, he reached out:

Realizing that this could become a big issue, my approach was to agree and join him to keep rapport (along with a little tactical empathy):

 

And, it worked in keeping me in the book swap:

More than that though, it helped in keeping rapport:

 

For more on this approach, see the thread: (almost) NEVER justify yourself.

And, by the way, I wasn't happy with the feeling that I had taken more than I gave, so I later expressed that:

And, Jonathan being the cool guy he is, responded with this:

So, you might see me on the Serve No Master podcast talking about The Social Strategist (TSS) sometime soon.

And, coincidentally, I had another experience unthinkingly creating a win-lose exchange and feeling bad about it that we talk about in the book's Chapter 5. It was important to me to encourage others to avoid that mistake and, here we are, applying that TSS knowledge in real life (and seeing results from it :).

So now there's a great monthly book swap event for authors... Join in 🙂

This is not only a journal entry, but also a review.

This event is awesome, so if you need a good way to build your email list, reach out to me and I'll introduce you to Jonathan (or reach out to him and say Ali sent you).

E-Met "Leader of Fun" from the TPM community

Met with "Leader of Fun" on a video call the other day.

He reached out to me via LinkedIn and now he's one of the first guys I've e-met from TPM since my first Zoom with Matthew.

It was truly a pleasure brainstorming and exchanging ideas on academia with him and getting to know him better (we had a good laugh about some gurus and motivational speakers who claim to give you a flourishing business with their online course after one of my reviews).

Hoping to meet up in person sometime and connect with more TPM members in the future.

Learning Now

  • Kevin Samuels

An image consultant who's developed a reputation for "hating black women," he gives dating advice on his show where he aims to get women to fairly assess their SMV and then encourages them to more fairly match their dating expectations to the SMV they agree on.

But, that's putting it lightly. His approach can be quite direct and, in my opinion, sometimes disrespectful (though he calls it being "assertive" and "mirroring the attitude of his guests").

His YouTube channel has some great content in terms of blowing away some of his guests' unrealistic fantasies of the future and grounding them in reality so they can make real, positive change in their lives now.

But, I glean more insight from his interviews on other podcasts where, when disagreements happen because of his controversial perspectives, he can't simply mute the guest or hang up the phone when conversations get heated. He's pushed to rely on assertiveness and skillful frame control and his communication skills have some gems sprinkled here and there that I enjoy learning from.

  • TextingGod.com

A site Jon Anthony spoke about in his course, Blog Money Blueprint, I took a look a while back and might be reading through it again sometime soon.

Louis Farfields, the head of the site (who also seems to be the instructor behind most of the site's dating and texting advice), seems to break the rules a bit here and there when it comes to the law of social effort — sending long texts to get the receiver fully enwrapped in his approaches.

And, sometimes it feels like he overfocuses on getting the receiver to feel positive emotions and chooses "fun" responses where a more power-aware text might've been better:

But, I do like some of his advice on teasing:

Working On: Spirituality for Self-Development

Exploring practical applications of spirituality to personal development.

Right now, I'm in the course Semen Retention Mastery, combining my knowledge of behavioral psychology with the course teacher's wisdom in spiritual exercises to practice sex transmutation (see Napoleon Hill's Tenth Step toward Riches in Chapter 11 of his book, Think and Grow Rich).

And, it's working.

A recent snippet from my journal:

Tuesday, March 1, 2022 at 11:57 am: "Completed my main exercise for Semen Retention Mastery today. It was an extended sexual qigong practice. I just finished that practice and drinking some marjoram tea a few minutes ago.

Right now, I feel like No Time To Die James Bond [when he broke up with his love interest and seemed to start focusing more on self-love while in Jamaica]. It's more than an 'independence,' which I associate more with freedom. It's a peace, calm, and relaxation. I feel 'love independent.' More than not needing love from others, but as if this internal peace is a comfort sufficient enough to replace this 'need' or desire for love.

The loneliness was always painful. So, I assumed I needed love and could maintain my personal power by promoting self-love in my life [getting that love I want from myself]. Now, it feels like I didn't need love, I needed peace to deal with the pain of the loneliness. And, now that the pain is gone, I'm no longer 'lonely,' only alone. For as long as I want or choose to be. It feels comforting.

So, did I need self-love...or self-comfort?"

*Click the blockquote to expand it.

Right now, rather than transmuting my sexual energy to achieve more riches, I'm focusing on getting more emotional and social independence (only needing my own love).

But, on this journey, I've also discovered two other forms of independence:

  • Romantic independence: freedom from the need for love, companionship, or romance from another person.
  • Sexual independence: freedom from the need for sex.

Both of the above are two things that can keep someone dependent in a relationship. From what I remember, there are currently three forms of independence listed in PU (financial, emotional, and social).

But, I think that the above two should be added as well given that they're important for a secure attachment style, avoiding being controlled by others (such as a relationship partner), and generally being a higher-quality man (of which these two forms of independence can fall under emotional intelligence's self-awareness and self-management).

Working On: TCCB SEO

Started investing in TCCB's SEO through The HOTH.

On our introductory call, they pulled up the site on Ahrefs and noticed that we've already made it out of the "Google Sandbox" (an alleged filter that prevents new websites from ranking in Google's top results). So, if that's the case, it's no doubt thanks to the sites like Entrepreneur and TPM linking to the site (big thank you guys!)

We're getting started with some (hopefully high-quality) backlinks from some guest posting. Soon, I'll also be getting their HOTH Lock My Brand package to establish TCCB's social media presence and get some more backlinks from those social media sites.

I also got some web 2.0 backlinks from SEOClerks recently.

Hopefully, in a few months' time, we'll see some more traction. I'm keeping tabs on The HOTH's progress through my campaign dashboard:

Maybe we can give a good, honest review here after seeing how they perform. (Though, it'll be difficult to track that since I'll be doing SEO work for the site outside of The HOTH as well).

Working On Next: Refining the "Rules System"

With some courses I've put on my list:

  • Emotional Mastery by Mark Manson

Given that the rule system and its effectiveness were inspired in part by his own mindset and attitudes, this is the first on my list.

  • Down & Dirty by Tim Grover

I've talked about this one a lot, and I'm a little disappointed that I haven't gotten to it yet. But other higher priorities keep pushing this one down the list.

Still, this course comes with live weekly group meetings with Tim, something I'm eager to get into and take full advantage of (looking forward to speaking with him and exchanging ideas).

Working On Next 2: Sexual dynamics in songs

Have been wanting to do some analyses of a few songs on my list to add to this thread.

The top two for right now are:

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Lucio BuffalmanoMats GBel

Rock on, Ali!

Nice approach with Green, his first email was a bit of a power move in my opinion, especially with the comparison with "the other authors at 2k".
But you handled it great and came out of it perfectly.

And cool to see TPM members inter-connecting (and nice to hear about that podcast appearance!).

A few random notes:

Quote from Ali Scarlett on March 5, 2022, 3:33 am
  • Kevin Samuels

An image consultant who's developed a reputation for "hating black women," he gives dating advice on his show where he aims to get women to fairly assess their SMV and then encourages them to more fairly match their dating expectations to the SMV they agree on.

But, that's putting it lightly. His approach can be quite direct and, in my opinion, sometimes disrespectful (though he calls it being "assertive" and "mirroring the attitude of his guests").

Some Youtuber with "-pill" in their name reached out to me to comment on one of his rants against a woman who called on his show.

I got the feeling they wanted me to criticize him and frame him as "not high value".

But one, I couldn't have said that because he seems to be pretty high-value (just nasty sometimes, but that's a different thing).
And two, the last thing I wanted was being dragged down into pill-like debates (said my piece on it, focusing on something else now).

Quote from Ali Scarlett on March 5, 2022, 3:33 am

Working On: TCCB SEO

Started investing in TCCB's SEO through The HOTH.

On our introductory call, they pulled up the site on Ahrefs and noticed that we've already made it out of the "Google Sandbox" (an alleged filter that prevents new websites from ranking in Google's top results). So, if that's the case, it's no doubt thanks to the sites like Entrepreneur and TPM linking to the site (big thank you guys!)

We're getting started with some (hopefully high-quality) backlinks from some guest posting. Soon, I'll also be getting their HOTH Lock My Brand package to establish TCCB's social media presence and get some more backlinks from those social media sites.

I also got some web 2.0 backlinks from SEOClerks recently.

Hopefully, in a few months' time, we'll see some more traction. I'm keeping tabs on The HOTH's progress through my campaign dashboard:

Maybe we can give a good, honest review here after seeing how they perform. (Though, it'll be difficult to track that since I'll be doing SEO work for the site outside of The HOTH as well).

This is just me giving some random advice on blogs and learning-based online businesses:

I think backlinks might be decreasing in importance in SEO.

And if I had to give advice, I'd say focus less on SEO, and watch out from being dragged down into Ahref and Ahref-like tools and SEO analyses (and analysts).
SEO is not science, it's guesswork, which makes it ripe for over-charging on dubious services and knowledge.

But the biggest risk is that it will take your time away from other more meaningful and impactful pursuits.

The question "what do you regret most" and "what would you like to change" are probably the #1 and #2 questions you should never answer.
But if someone asked me "what would you change in the early stage of TPM" I might say: spend far less time learning and developing SEO.

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Ali Scarlett
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