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Hello + Updates (What I'm Doing, Where & Why)

#61 · October 1, 2020, 2:58 am

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on October 1, 2020, 2:58 am
The last Korean day has finally come.
I’m typing from the airport now.
How it All Started
I remember how it all started.
I was stuck in the Philippines, pondering on the next steps -and immensely grateful for the subscribers' mastermind!-.
Seoul was still cold back then, ranging from 15 to 0 degrees, and the world was quickly closing down.
Traveling presented some risks, but Cebu was looking bleak.
I was stuck in a small Airbnb I had taken for the gym and pool facilities, but they both got closed.
And I couldn’t even change place.
Thanks to a poorly-thought decree, all hotels were ordered to shut down and only long-term residents were allowed into any building (meaning that if you moved out of an Airbnb, you couldn’t go anywhere else, and you’d technically be made homeless).
It felt like Hotel California :).
Lockdown in Cebu was also drastic. You could only go out for groceries, and only with a permit. Only 2 or 3 restaurants were open for takeaway food, and they were poor quality.
I had tried leaving for Singapore, but Singapore had closed its border before my flight date.
I tried an Australian visa, but was rejected.
Then I tried flying to Japan, and it all seemed good. But right at the check-in counter, I was told the visa policy had changed, and I couldn’t fly.
A flight to freedom
Then there was one last plane to Seoul before the airport closed.
Leaving the building was a risk, because if I couldn’t fly, then… By law it was possible that I couldn’t get back in.
But Korea felt like freedom-land, and leaving Cebu felt like escaping Alcatraz, so I had to try.
I covered all the downside risks I could cover, including:
making friends with the guards
telling the guards I might come back later that night (ie.: framing my departure as "just trying to fly", and not "leaving")
talking in advance with my Airbnb host
booking more Airbnb days past my flight date so that technically I wasn't checking out
contacting people on FB for emergency accommodation if needed
and putting extra cash in my pockets -cash can be your biggest persuasion power move sometimes :)-.
I remember at the check-in counter.
The steward told me to “wait” as he left his post. It seemed like a replay of Japan. I stood there pretending to be calm and cool, but those were some long-ass minutes :).
Then he came back and said that he was sorry, but…. But my flight from Seoul to Japan might be canceled. LOL, damn you man, that was just a token outbound flight to help me get into Korea, I knew I wasn’t gonna take it. I pretended to be sorry and said it was OK, while within me I silently screamed of joy.
Once I passed the gates, I was one of the happiest men in the world.
I will forever be grateful to Korea for providing a safe haven during those trying times.
A Summer of Love
Coming out of quarantine in Korea felt SO good.
Spring was just starting out, and I was hungry for life and freedom, excited to quench my thirst from the cup of life.
Normal life never tasted better.
I remember the first day outside, standing at the bottom of an uphill street, and I just started running up.
The perfect beginning of what was about to come.
It turned out to be one of the best springs/summers of my life.
Renting a speedboat on the Han river
I learned a lot in terms of dating, social skills, and power dynamics, and made several new friends and connections, including a close friend.
Romance-wise, I loved the sexual marketplace, both women-wise, and challenge-wise. In many of my previous destinations, dating was too easy. Shooting fishes in a barrel doesn’t do it for me.
Here, I had to work for it and earn it.
And I worked to many dates. Some of them turned into intimacy, 3 turned into short-lived / open-relationships, and one of them turned out to be a beautiful summer-long relationship -and some tears, too :)-.
I will always bring this summer, this city, and the great people I've met in my heart.
The last day was for my bro, just me and him first, then his GF later
What I’m Working On
The top priority for the next weeks is:
Power University upgrade
Adding a few new crucial lessons, and probably restructuring the modules -adding a module on leadership, and maybe one lesson or micro-module on emotional intelligence-.
Couple new YB Videos
Once back in Europe I might release a couple of new YB videos.
YB is not the main channel for this website's content, but it has a different audience than the website, so it’s good to say hi to those guys as well.
What I’m Reading
I have finished “the logic of political survival”, a 5-start book on power and political power dynamics.
On the (long) trip back to Europe, I’ll be starting “Who's Pulling Your Strings".
And I’m listening to Albert Ellis’ “How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable”. It’s a masterpiece and it will take 2^nd or 1^st place in the list of “best books on positive psychology”.

The last Korean day has finally come.

I’m typing from the airport now.

How it All Started

I remember how it all started.

I was stuck in the Philippines, pondering on the next steps -and immensely grateful for the subscribers' mastermind!-.

Seoul was still cold back then, ranging from 15 to 0 degrees, and the world was quickly closing down.

Traveling presented some risks, but Cebu was looking bleak.

I was stuck in a small Airbnb I had taken for the gym and pool facilities, but they both got closed.
And I couldn’t even change place.
Thanks to a poorly-thought decree, all hotels were ordered to shut down and only long-term residents were allowed into any building (meaning that if you moved out of an Airbnb, you couldn’t go anywhere else, and you’d technically be made homeless).

It felt like Hotel California :).

Lockdown in Cebu was also drastic. You could only go out for groceries, and only with a permit. Only 2 or 3 restaurants were open for takeaway food, and they were poor quality.

I had tried leaving for Singapore, but Singapore had closed its border before my flight date.
I tried an Australian visa, but was rejected.
Then I tried flying to Japan, and it all seemed good. But right at the check-in counter, I was told the visa policy had changed, and I couldn’t fly.

A flight to freedom

Then there was one last plane to Seoul before the airport closed.

Leaving the building was a risk, because if I couldn’t fly, then… By law it was possible that I couldn’t get back in.

But Korea felt like freedom-land, and leaving Cebu felt like escaping Alcatraz, so I had to try.

I covered all the downside risks I could cover, including:

making friends with the guards
telling the guards I might come back later that night (ie.: framing my departure as "just trying to fly", and not "leaving")
talking in advance with my Airbnb host
booking more Airbnb days past my flight date so that technically I wasn't checking out
contacting people on FB for emergency accommodation if needed
and putting extra cash in my pockets -cash can be your biggest persuasion power move sometimes :)-.

I remember at the check-in counter.
The steward told me to “wait” as he left his post. It seemed like a replay of Japan. I stood there pretending to be calm and cool, but those were some long-ass minutes :).
Then he came back and said that he was sorry, but…. But my flight from Seoul to Japan might be canceled. LOL, damn you man, that was just a token outbound flight to help me get into Korea, I knew I wasn’t gonna take it. I pretended to be sorry and said it was OK, while within me I silently screamed of joy.

Once I passed the gates, I was one of the happiest men in the world.

I will forever be grateful to Korea for providing a safe haven during those trying times.

A Summer of Love

Coming out of quarantine in Korea felt SO good.

Spring was just starting out, and I was hungry for life and freedom, excited to quench my thirst from the cup of life.
Normal life never tasted better.
I remember the first day outside, standing at the bottom of an uphill street, and I just started running up.

The perfect beginning of what was about to come.

It turned out to be one of the best springs/summers of my life.

lucio driving a boat Renting a speedboat on the Han river

I learned a lot in terms of dating, social skills, and power dynamics, and made several new friends and connections, including a close friend.
Romance-wise, I loved the sexual marketplace, both women-wise, and challenge-wise. In many of my previous destinations, dating was too easy. Shooting fishes in a barrel doesn’t do it for me.
Here, I had to work for it and earn it.
And I worked to many dates. Some of them turned into intimacy, 3 turned into short-lived / open-relationships, and one of them turned out to be a beautiful summer-long relationship -and some tears, too :)-.

I will always bring this summer, this city, and the great people I've met in my heart.

lucio friends in Korea The last day was for my bro, just me and him first, then his GF later

What I’m Working On

The top priority for the next weeks is:

Power University upgrade

Adding a few new crucial lessons, and probably restructuring the modules -adding a module on leadership, and maybe one lesson or micro-module on emotional intelligence-.

Couple new YB Videos

Once back in Europe I might release a couple of new YB videos.
YB is not the main channel for this website's content, but it has a different audience than the website, so it’s good to say hi to those guys as well.

What I’m Reading

I have finished “the logic of political survival”, a 5-start book on power and political power dynamics.

On the (long) trip back to Europe, I’ll be starting “Who's Pulling Your Strings".

And I’m listening to Albert Ellis’ “How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable”. It’s a masterpiece and it will take 2^nd or 1^st place in the list of “best books on positive psychology”.

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#62 · October 1, 2020, 3:19 am

the logic of political survival

This videos are a cool summary of the dictator handbook (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4cyklKFjfU), the popular version of the logic of political survival, a mandatory read for hardcore power movers...

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.

#63 · October 2, 2020, 8:37 am

Thank you for sharing, Stef, definitely will look into those (I'm thinking about a micro-lesson on political leadership for PU).

And yes, you are right, that book is a mandatory read for power dynamics at the top, as well as general understanding of human nature and the importance of placing the right incentives for leaders ("Nudging", Richard Thaler might say).

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#64 · November 5, 2020, 10:49 pm

Quote from Lucio Buffalmano on November 5, 2020, 10:49 pm
I've been back to Italy for 2-3 weeks.
This is where I grew up.
If you're into city life, you'll find it boring as hell.
But, in some other ways, it's a little paradise.
First 2 and last are pics from my parents' place:
And the one on the bottom left is the "belvedere" from a nearby hilltop medieval village called "Montefino".
It's great to spend some time there with a binocular, watching the slow life unfolding in the rural houses dotting the valley.
The villages back then were built atop the hills also for strategic reasons, with often a castle nearby. So you'll feel like an old day watchman.
In the first few days, the lack of socialization was tough.
But even strict quarantines in the countrysides are far better than in any apartment in the city.
On sunny days it was warm enough for some sunbathing too:
More time working than sunbathing, of course (and even then, audiobooks are often playing while standing there)
Living at your parents' house is one of the best places to focus on whatever you wanna focus on.
Cooking and cleaning are all taken care of, so you can focus 100% on whatever you need to do.
Oh, and that's the other plus as well, the food is really good, and fresh.
Not to mention the wine :).
The Power Moves
I took care of going through PU for an update.
It's still not 100% finished, but most of it is done.
Theme upgrade
So then I focused on the theme upgrade, which is still underway.
The interaction with the course is supposed to be much better, including accessing the course, and personal profiles.
Many users previously were getting lost between personal profiles and course-access, and now that's improved.
The homepage is still under construction, while for the rest it's more about tying up some loose ends.
Releasing smaller courses
I'll also be releasing PU modules as smaller stand-alone courses.
I'm aware there are some people who are only interested in some modules, but not the whole PU (Especially, I'm thinking about the workplace module).
So that's an opportunity to be more laser-focused, and save some money.
These smaller modules might add some little more info, but it's "nice to have", and not essential. If in the future I come across some more good material, I'll likely add it to the individual modules unless it's essential information, in which case it will also go into PU.
These smaller modules allow me to add more material, while keeping PU as the concentrated guide to becoming a high-quality individual.
Seduction University might be the exception, where I will be adding quite some more material, so that's a project on its own.
What I'm Reading
The Assertiveness Guide for Women (listening): it's good, with a novel approach to assertiveness that includes attachment styles, emotional self-awareness, and "integration" (summary to follow)
Emotional Blackmail (reading): It's great. I've read now 3-4 books on (emotional) manipulation that are really good, and they will form the backbone for a new lesson on manipulation. Including two new self-assessment tools

I've been back to Italy for 2-3 weeks.

This is where I grew up.
If you're into city life, you'll find it boring as hell.
But, in some other ways, it's a little paradise.

First 2 and last are pics from my parents' place:

And the one on the bottom left is the "belvedere" from a nearby hilltop medieval village called "Montefino".
It's great to spend some time there with a binocular, watching the slow life unfolding in the rural houses dotting the valley.
The villages back then were built atop the hills also for strategic reasons, with often a castle nearby. So you'll feel like an old day watchman.

In the first few days, the lack of socialization was tough.
But even strict quarantines in the countrysides are far better than in any apartment in the city.
On sunny days it was warm enough for some sunbathing too:

More time working than sunbathing, of course (and even then, audiobooks are often playing while standing there)

Living at your parents' house is one of the best places to focus on whatever you wanna focus on.
Cooking and cleaning are all taken care of, so you can focus 100% on whatever you need to do.

Oh, and that's the other plus as well, the food is really good, and fresh.
Not to mention the wine :).

The Power Moves

I took care of going through PU for an update.

It's still not 100% finished, but most of it is done.

Theme upgrade

So then I focused on the theme upgrade, which is still underway.

The interaction with the course is supposed to be much better, including accessing the course, and personal profiles.
Many users previously were getting lost between personal profiles and course-access, and now that's improved.

The homepage is still under construction, while for the rest it's more about tying up some loose ends.

Releasing smaller courses

I'll also be releasing PU modules as smaller stand-alone courses.

I'm aware there are some people who are only interested in some modules, but not the whole PU (Especially, I'm thinking about the workplace module).

So that's an opportunity to be more laser-focused, and save some money.
These smaller modules might add some little more info, but it's "nice to have", and not essential. If in the future I come across some more good material, I'll likely add it to the individual modules unless it's essential information, in which case it will also go into PU.
These smaller modules allow me to add more material, while keeping PU as the concentrated guide to becoming a high-quality individual.

Seduction University might be the exception, where I will be adding quite some more material, so that's a project on its own.

What I'm Reading

The Assertiveness Guide for Women (listening): it's good, with a novel approach to assertiveness that includes attachment styles, emotional self-awareness, and "integration" (summary to follow)
Emotional Blackmail (reading): It's great. I've read now 3-4 books on (emotional) manipulation that are really good, and they will form the backbone for a new lesson on manipulation. Including two new self-assessment tools

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#65 · November 5, 2020, 11:02 pm

Happy for you, enjoy! These are precious times.

Great idea to have a lesson about manipulation. Talking about attachment styles: what about a lesson about them?

Cheers!

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.

#66 · November 5, 2020, 11:14 pm

Thank you, John!

Yes indeed, especially when you live far from home, spending time with the family is an opportunity that one should be enjoyed to the fullest.

I think attachment styles are super important, yet I'm always worried of keeping PU compact and focused on the core competencies.
The second reason it's not a high priority as of now is that there is already quite some good information around on attachment styles, and I seek prioritize areas that "under-served" of either quantity of information, or quality.

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#67 · November 6, 2020, 9:30 pm

Hey there!

Your family home looks gorgeous! I'm based in Paris, and though I like it a lot, I'm seriously considering decamping down to Catalunya in the new year... I lived in Madrid for many years, and having plentiful sunlight makes a big difference to quality of life... temperature doesn't really matter to me, but light... light matters!

Enjoy,

Lucas

#68 · November 6, 2020, 11:29 pm

Thank you, Lucas!

I agree with you on sunlight, it truly makes a difference.

And I also loved Madrid.
I was there once on a business trip, ended up with my former boss in a high-end club full of high-end ladies. Never seen a place with more stuck-up, cold bitches (bitches quite literally, in this case :). It turned out to be a popular club for the local football players, so that made sense.

But it seemed one of those great cities where you have both city-life, and a feeling of warmth from the people around. I like that.

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#69 · November 7, 2020, 4:39 pm

Hello Lucio,

yes, regarding attachment styles there is lots of info about it. However the key info is missing such as the « how ». Like how to develop a secure attachment style if you’re anxious, avoidant or anxious-avoidant. If you remember that was one of my first questions. I found that you’re very good in taking knowledge and turning into practical examples and applications. I think that is what is missing on this topic. At least I have not found yet such resource.

Cheers!

#70 · November 7, 2020, 7:33 pm

Lol, those ladies aren't going to bring home any high-quality guys that way. Not keep them anyway. Oh they'll use them in the short term, for sex, validation, whatever, but the moment a more feminine and all well-rounded girl comes along? Heh, she's doomed.

Hmm, I don't know much about anxious attachment style, but I can give experiences from the avoidant side; growing into a better person overall helps (which you are doing), learning how to set clear and healthy boundaries helps (anxious sets too few and too weakly; avoidants set them well but go too far or do so when not needed), and for me getting out there and talking with people in general helped a lot. Anxious puts too much of themselves into others (and so has a weak identity and Frame) and so I'd assume that asserting yourself more, developing a good idea of who you are and why you're doing what you're doing, and taking action to love yourself first would all help a lot.

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.