Global Intersexual Dynamics: Where Dating Is Easy (or Hard)

In the world there are countless localized sexual market places that offer drastically different dating conditions and experiences.

That means that in some places dating as a man can be very hard -and very easy as a woman-.
And in some other places dating as a woman can be very hard -and very easy as a man-.

This article introduces you to “global intersexual dynamics”.

SMV Is Highly Relative

Individuals’ sexual market value varies enormously.

Those who say that “those who get laid, get laid anywhere” aren’t strictly wrong.
But they are truly missing the point and leading people astray. And it’s actually possible for men who are unsuccessful under certain conditions to become very successful under others.

Just as an example from personal experience: white men in Africa.

When I visited a few African countries dating was even easier than in some of the easiest South Asian countries.
Some women stalked me to find me on FB and complained when I didn’t find time to meet them:

text of woman chasing me
She spent time finding me on FB and complained I didn’t find time for her

This was a pretty lady, too, and it was also a big city. Trust me, women don’t stalk me in Europe.
Plenty more women in Africa kept texting and asking me when I would go back, far more often than in any other world region.

Of course some of them might have wanted me also as potential a ticket to Europe, but the passport is also part of the whole personal package. And it’s one of the reasons why your sexual market value varies enormously.

This is just one example of how much a different localized sexual market place can impact your dating and sexual options.
With the sexual marketplace conditions of this example, even highly unsuccessful men in Europe could get laid a ton -or just find a high-quality woman for long-term dating-.

Difficult Markets For Women

These are sexual markets where women are at a relative disadvantage:

1. Russia & EX USSR Countries

All the top 5 biggest alcohol-consuming countries are located in the ex USSR.

In Belarus, a whopping 11% of the population is physically dependent on alcohol, and most alcoholics are men.

That leaves lots of women chasing fewer eligible bachelors.

Have you ever wondered why Eastern and Russian women men have a stereotype for being more feminine and attentive to their looks?

Now you may know why.

And to spell it out more clearly: because they’re focused on securing a man, they have no time for that feminist BS.

An ex Russian girlfriend told me:

In Russia a good man is a man who’s not an alcoholic and who doesn’t beat you.

Apparently, a woman who’s not happy about her man often hears back: “he doesn’t drink and he’s not violent, what are you complaining about?”

Talking about a low bar…

2. Big Cities

sex and the city women without men
Where have all the good men gone?

Young men go to the city because of higher wages.
Same for women.

Yet, Lena Edlund in a paper called Sex and the City shows that more women than men move to urban areas.


Because also unskilled women move to the city.
Why? Well, likely, they go there looking for high earners.

That also means that well-off male city dwellers have more options than they would have otherwise.
And it means that women face stiffer competition from both high-quality career women, and non-career attractive women.

This is statically significant because many men don’t pursue women based on their income.
But women aren’t exactly thrilled to pair up with men who are below their socio-economic level.

3. Colleges and College Degree Cohort

Sometimes really is lonely at the top.

If you are a smart and driven woman, taking care of herself, her education, and her career… That’s wonderful.

On the flip side, chances are that you are in a difficult market.

In the last decades women, by and large, have been overtaking men. In 1994 more women received a bachelor’s degree or higher.
And the disparity has only grown since then.

That is even worse for black college women, where the disparity is even larger.

gender split in higher education

And when it comes to colleges, the hookup culture might be part fun, and part tough bargaining conditions for women.

Birger, author of “Date-Onomics” says that the college hookup culture is driven by men who, empowered by the positive number ratio, have the power to set the sexual terms.

4. Religious Circles

God may help with the afterlife, but how much church helps with this world’s dating is all to be seen.

In the West, women tend to be more devout than men, and men tend to leave organized religions more frequently than women.
That means that church groups often see more women than men.

Might be a good opportunity for a lesbian nun.

5. South-East Asia

Everywhere there are more gay men than lesbian women.

However, in some places in the world, a significantly large percentage of the male population crosses into gay/transexual.
Sometimes to the point of being indistinguishable from women.
Not only these are men that disappear from the man’s cohort, but they move into the women cohort chasing other men, giving men the fake feeling that there are even more women than there truly are.

This makes Southeast Asian dating markets very poor for women.
Look at this example:

text example of easy dating market

This is a woman in the Philippines who was literally harassing me. Albeit an extreme example, it does show that a combination of “sought after race” (white) and a good overall market for men can turn the normal sexual power dynamics on their head (ie.: women chasing men).

It isn’t just about trans and gender split ratio, though.
Talk to local women and to foreigners who’ve lived long enough in countries like Thailand or the Philippines, and they will tell you the local men are useless.
Useless in the sense of having little leadership attitude and no drive to improve their lot.
A portion that seems to be much larger than in the West doesn’t seek employment and wants women to maintain them.

Talking about an unwarranted sense of entitlement

6. Asian Countries for Black Women

White women, on paper, would do great in many Asian countries as they are a status symbol.

The only issue in poorer Asian countries is that they are not interested in the locals. Plus, many locals don’t even dare approach them.

Things are better though iIn richer countries such as Korea, Japan, and possibly the bigger cities in China.
There, white women who like local men might fare even better than in their native countries.

However, Asian markets are much harder for black women.

Difficult Markets For Men

Please remember this:

We are talking about on average here.

To begin, these averages are often not huge handicaps, bure more like population-level tendencies.
And even when they are relatively strong tendencies, you can always buck the trend or be the exceptional exception.

On this website, we loath complaints or doom-and-gloom discussions based on cultural trends, social trends, or averages.
And that’s because we believe in the power of the individual -a belief based on real-life evidence-.

You, my friend, are not an average.
And you’re bigger than your background, color, nation, or whatever individual trait might be used to label you.

And you can also always be the exception.

With that warning, these are sexual markets where men are at a relative disadvantage:

1. Western Countries for Asians / Indians

This is a famous chart from OKCupid.

OkCupid’s founder Chris Rudder has been very active in mining the data for dating insights. He also wrote Dataclysm, a very good book on data and dating.

OKCupid is mostly used in the West, so it provides a good overview of dating in the West, broken down by races:

asian men difficulty in dating

You’re probably aware of this often-quoted study:

Asian men need to earn $250k extra for the same dating opportunities of white men

That being said, things have improved lately for Asian men thanks to the cultural success of some Asian dramas, movies, and songs -it seems to be a golden period for Korea-.
A good subgroup of women have always liked the more feminine faces, and now instead of going for the young Di Caprio -and real-life clones-, they go for the clean faces of the Asian stars -and real-life clones-.

I haven’t yet encountered a single white woman who ever said she only dates Asian men while I’ve met several Asian women who said -or bragged- they only date white men (you don’t find them in Western countries as that would be taboo: a few Asian women might so in behavior there, but never in words).
BUT, I’ve encountered many white women who are cool dating Asians.

Rap music did something similar for black men in some European countries, albeit that probably lost some steam in recent years.
Whether that positive trend for Asian culture and Asian men will continue for some time or fizzle out with the pop bands and short-lived dramas is difficult to say.

Overall, still a slight disadvantage being Asian in white countries but again, this shouldn’t concern individual cool guys.

Asian men in black countries

Probably worse than Asian men in white countries.

But except for centuries-old Chinese immigration in some parts of Asia I haven’t seen much interest from Asian men living there.
Probably because of the economy, or maybe because most Asians aren’t too into black women, dating-wise it might be better for all.

2. Richer Countries for Poorer Immigrants

No white woman will ever tell you that, but…

There is a (subconscious) stigma against immigrants from poorer countries.

A darker skin often makes women jump straight to the conclusion of “poorer immigrant”.
And in the case of Arabs, there is the added issue of religion and how it’s represented in many women’s minds. Not as much for the bombings and terrorism as many might think, but more for the association between religion and controlling attitudes.

In general, we can say that immigrants from poorer countries to richer countries all face a stigma.
Female hypergamy doesn’t like dating down, and men have to buck the social stigma and self-frame themselves as the high-quality exception.
And then hope that she is strong-minded enough not to care about the stigma and social repercussions.

I remember listening to stories of the Italian immigrants going towards the Americas.
Men going in Latin America almost all remarried. The ones going to North America didn’t. My father didn’t know why, but to me it seemed obvious: Italian in Latin America was “one of us” and exotic. In North America it was exotic, but “below us”.
Maybe good for a fling if they were handsome, but not great long-term candidates.

3. Asian countries for black / dark-skinned

Black men have a reputation for high masculinity.

Up until there, it’s good.
But with that also comes the reputational downside of exaggerated aggression or lawlessness.
That might not help with Asian women generally being more on the meeker side.

It might also be a case of not enough high-quality black men around and/or represented as cultural icons.
Of course there are some, but maybe not enough.

Or simply might be a case of general preferences going towards fellow Asians and whites.
In any case, it’s very possible for black men to do well in Asia, but they need to adjust and overcome some initial stumbling blocks.

4. Latin America / Italy

Italian men tend to take care of themselves much more than the average.

I’ve met countless Italian men abroad who complain about dating in Italy, and much enjoyed the dating scene of wherever I’ve met them.

Together with Latin America, men tend to be more forward in their dating.
That increases competition and makes women feel like they have lots of options.

Notice that this is not necessarily true for foreigners.
Latin American women for example love gringos and Europeans.

5. China

Decades of one-child policy with a strong bias for male children led to a population with an oversupply of men.

Plus, strong social pressure that prioritizes “success”, a pragmatic approach to dating, and a female population that might be less into casual dating means that Chinese men must date as providers.
And bring home the back.
Lots of it.

Why do you think Chinese men must own a flat to date well? And why can Chinese women inquire about what the men own?
Because women can have their pick, and have the sexual power to ask, demand, and screen.

Again, it might be different for skilled foreigners traveling to China, especially non-Asian ones who can leverage the “exotic effect” and date as lovers.

6. Technical Universities & STEM Fields

University should be a time of learning, fun, socializing and… Dating.

But who are you going to date if 90% of students are men?

Except for architecture which is already mostly women in many places, most technical universities are oversupplied with guys.
And it will most likely stay so because virtue-signaling efforts to have more women in STEM isn’t going to make women more interested in STEM.

7. Tech Companies

If you want to date well, stay away from silicon valley, tech startups and developers-centric companies.

Being a developer also comes with some reputational stigma within the organization when it comes to dating. And that might not help your case dating within the organization.
Finally, as they say, you’re the average of the 5 people you spend your time with. And looking at the average group of developers, you might not want to have anything to do with that average.

Go to HR instead.

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