How to Walk Sexy & Confident: Men’s Guide (W/ Videos)

sexy walk

Do you want to learn a confident and sexy walk for men?

You have landed on the perfect page.
My name is Lucio, I am a social scientist, psychology nut, social skills consultant and eternal researcher of everything related to people and social dynamics.

This article will tell you what research and body language say about a powerful, confident and sexy walk.

1. Move Your Shoulders

A shoulder swag is a crucial aspect of a sexy walk.

Some sources say that swaying the shoulders makes them look broader and highlights a positive masculine quality.

Shoulder swag is also a sign of energy and vitality.

Opposite to men, women instead sway their hips and bottom to highlight femininity.

2. Pace Your Walk With Your Arms

There are two elements of arms’ movements to walk like a sed God:

  • Back and Forth Movement
  • Distance from the Body

You want to move your arms, at least a bit.
Not moving and standing still is a typical fear response part of the “freeze” category of our reptilian brain, which is exactly what you do not want to communicate.

Similarly, arms too close to our body signal fear and unconfidence.
It’s when we’re afraid of venturing in the nearby territory indeed that we keep our arms close to our body?

Why?

Because we unconsciously feel like our arms could be more helpful close by to defend our body.

Again, you don’t want to send the message you are afraid of your surroundings.
For a sexy and confident walk we’ll move our arms and we will spread them farther from our body.

3. Splay Your Legs

We keep our legs crossed when we’re fearful.

And we keep our legs open when we want to show openness and masculinity in what’s often called a “crotch display”.

Also, as politically uncorrect as it might sound, what’s one of the most stereotypical effeminate walks you can imagine?

It’s the walk with the thighs rubbing one another of course. Pressing your thighs against your crotch is a way of negating your sexuality.
Letting some air circulate is a way of displaying manhood instead.

An easy way of adding splayed legs to your budding sexy walk is to avoid your thighs rub each other.

4. Walk With Erect Posture

Slouching and dropping our shoulders it is a way of closing within ourselves and defending our inner body.

Erect posture is a sign of confidence and it makes you much more attractive.

5. Splay Your Feet Outward

When people open up their feet, they also open up the way to their crotch and make it more visible.

Some men “open” the internal side of their feet when walking and it’s rarer in women -it seems to me Asian women do it more often-.

And since much of positive sexual communication is about displaying gender differences, splaying out the feet can be considered a positive masculine sign.

When women do it while sitting it works as a powerful aphrodisiac for many men, as it feels like an invitation to their vagina (rawer and cruder style, classier women will never do that).

Warning:
Do it slightly. Some raw, masculine energy of splayed feet is good, but do it too much and not only you go overboard, but you also show poor physical joint structure.
And physical malformation is rarely attractive.

This video represent a good mix:

6. Keep Your Gaze Up

There are main ways of gazing while walking:

  • Straight and Focused

This is the “man on a mission” kind of walk.

Look straight on, focused, with the slightly aggressive attitude of the man who knows where he’s going and wants to get there quick.
Don’t look at people, your expression and demeanor says “get the fu** out of my way” (most will).

Warning:
Don’t use this type of walk in any social setting. It shows a (slight) disdain for people, it will make you seem unapproachable and it will look incongruent if you want to approach and socialize later on.

Daniel Craig does it great in general, and particularly well here at second 23.
Yours truly gives you below a poorer stylish-wise example but with a better camera angle.

  • Chill and Calm: Enjoying Life

Sometimes life is to be taken in and enjoyed at a slower pace.

And while the “man on a mission” walk is sexy in a dominant kind of way, the “chill and calm” is sexy in a more intellectually dominant kind of way.

There are few ways to make the “chill” and “enjoy life” walk work.

The most important part is that you do not look down and that you move your head slowly.
Men darting their eyes around are scanning the environment for opportunities and, more often, for threats. Not sexy.

7. Smile Slightly

I will have a proper article on smiling, but the short of it is that there are two main ways you can smile:

  • “Teethy” Smile 

A genuine smile is wider, larger and it fully shows the teeth.

It’s less sexy, less dominant and more social but can also be attractive.
Note the difference: some smiles are submissive, but if you’re smiling with full gusto out of sincere enjoyment it says you can let go of yourself, which is sexy.

And it says you’re content with your life.
In a world where most people live a life of quiet desperation -to quote Henry David Thoreau-, we are naturally attracted to those who have found an inner source of happiness and peace.

  • Sexy Smile

This is the sexier, smugger version.

A tight-lipped smile says you got some secret in your life that makes you feel confident and superior and that you will not share (Pease and Pease).
What is he up to, what’s his secret, they’ll be wondering?

One corner of your lips is more raised than the other corner and you don’t show any teeth: it’s an ever so slight smile.

Warning:
sexier is overall better but doesn’t always attract more women. Some can think you’re too into yourself, and some others will dislike you for making them feel like you’re out of their league.
When you’re in doubt and want to socialize, it’s safer to err on the more social side.

8. A Walk To Pick Up

Let’s be honest: the reason we care at all about how to walk sexy is for the opposite sex.

There are two main ways you can make an impression which will result in more physical activity beyond just walking:

Walk Past Her

Keep walking past without looking at her. Your superior, snub style coupled with your sexy strut will sure as hell make her look at you.

Gianna Nannini has a famous hit song called “bello e impossible“, meaning “handsome and impossible”.

Why am I telling you this?

Because “impossible” is exactly what you’re angling for here, except… Except you will meet her later on “accidentally” and if she plays her cards you might become “bello e possible” ;).

The effect is similar to having a cool standing pose: you let them look at you and admire you and the effect is to “celebrit-ize” you.

Give a Slight Smile

As you go past her, you turn slightly towards her.

Unsexy guys leering at girls make it wrong because they do it crudely and too obviously -and sometimes adding the biggest attraction killer ever: the catcall-.

You, instead, you look at them coolly.. Yes, she piqued your interest… Somewhat.

But you’re not fully sold yet, and you know how to play the game.
That’s the message you want to send.

Looking at them this way is also more likely to elicit a reaction, so that your approach will be more like of a warm approach.

And if she doesn’t look at you at all?

Well, then coolly turn around and go for it anyway, you have nothing to lose.

9. Bounce With Gravity Defying Steps

Has he just had sex?

Guys, if you’re looking for “how to walk cool”, this is your walk.

Energized and confident, this one communicates “the world is mine for the taking, and that makes me the coolest cat alive”.

Joe Navarro in “What Every BODY is Saying” talks about “gravity-defying” body language.

He says that when we feel energized and confident, we will gesticulate with our arms more often and we will often swing them from side to side when we walk.

A bouncy sexy walk also tends to move at a quicker speed.
It’s a bit more juvenile and you will rarely see it from more mature men, but it’s very sexy as it underlines vitality, vigor and a joyful personality.

You do a bouncy sexy walk by moving slightly quicker and adding a bit of a bounce to your steps, as if you had springs in your shoes.

And feel free to move your arms around, touch your face (in a sexy way) or adjust your clothes.
And don’t forget the mood: you love life.

I’m glad I can show you this walk with one the sexiest men alive:

10. Brisk Walk is a Sexy Walk

Some sources will tell you to move slow and walk slow. Well, that’s true… In some occasions.

In some others, not so much.

How speed relates to sexiness, is indeed highly contextual.

Slow will work great for:

  • Retired millionaires
  • Bigger, chubbier men
  • Powerful men in slower “lines of work” as we’ve already seen with The Godfather
  • Men NOT in control of their schedule to show defiance to power and independence -if you hurry you look “goody two shoes toeing the line” –
  • Strolling around with your woman
how to walk sexy for men: splaying your legs
Look at her expression before thinking he was a jerk.

It will also work great for most everyone in more chill settings, like a nighttime lounge, the beach or a sunny day at the park.

But a healthy man in a busy, bustling city, with people swirling around you? Or when immersed in work, or partying on the dance floor?
Too slow will make you look silly there.

Like Tom Tucker in Family Guy:

Don’t listen to sources saying “slower is better”: it’s just a bad generalization.

Walking during daytime stick to average speed with good strides or slightly above average speed underlying your goal orientation and physical fitness if you’re doing stuff.

Slightly lower than average if you’re strolling.

Walk Like You Own It: The Mindset

The mindset of a sexy walk is also what makes you sexy in general.

You believe you are a man with a lot of value to give to any woman -or guy for that matter- and you are and you feel like you’re in control of your life.

Walking powerfully with a goal in mind means you do have goals you care about in your life; and walking leisurely means you do enjoy life and know how to enjoy life -which is very sexy-.

Note On Video Examples:
my walks in the video examples are slightly accentuated to show the move more clearly.
For normal daytime and day to day situations I usually rein it in a bit and I would advise you to move towards those examples without fully reaching them (except for when you wanna play a bit and for when the time calls for it, then go full power).

Bonus: Some Less Sexy Walk for Men

Here are some examples of famous walks that are not as sexy:

Vladimir Putin

It’s OK to swing one arm more than the other, even advisable maybe. But Putin overdoes it (KGB training some say) :

John Wayne

John Wayne is a symbol of manliness, but I wouldn’t copy his walk here.

His upper body arm swings a bit too much in front of his body.
A good erect posture wants your arms more on the side, and arms in front of the body is defensive.

He does much better here though and adds another great nonverbal gesture of dominance: the slight “get out of my way” hand gesture.

8 thoughts on “How to Walk Sexy & Confident: Men’s Guide (W/ Videos)”

  1. Luke Sebastian

    When walking, I try to give a the most intense impression of an elegant, refined, ‘Victorian’ man that I can possibly think of. That often means spacing my legs, making sure the inner side of my feet point exactly to the front, and avoid bouncing at all — instead walking without any vertical movement to my head (only forward). That’s when I’m calm, of course; when in a hurry, it’s more of a ‘strong’ pose, very bouncy.

    Am I doing it wrong?

    1. Lucio Buffalmano

      I liked your “Victorian” style a lot, actually.
      I like it because I like elegant women, and since people often tend to pair up with similar people, an elegant and Victorian walk is more likely to be attractive to elegant women than an an exaggerated “macho” walk (also see “alpha male posturing“).

      To give you a proper feedback I should see you walk, but by the sound of it, I like it.

      Cheers Luke!

  2. Great observations! I was just seeing some scenes from The Godfather on YouTube when I remembered to check out the comments again and here I am. Do you have a schedule for which days of the week you post? I would love to know it so I can come back when there’s a new article to read.

    Cheers!

  3. Wow, you’re good! I absolutely loved the extra infos about territorial dominance, I’ve read some other articles here and one of the things I like the most on this website, and what makes it special, is that you also show how to keep a polite and warm interaction even with huge dominance. Teaching people how to be a “gentle boss” is great. Leadership is essencial in life.

    Amazing facts about the feminine confidence, I’m glad you wrote it! The observations about it intimidating men is a very truthful one. I must add that I’m a very confident person,and to be honest, sometimes I even get some pretty arrogant thoughts that I must work on, even though I do a great job hiding it because I’m awesome (see what I did there?). That being said, I still must confess that when I’m approaching women on the streets, I’m inclined to avoid women with that overconfident attitude you mentioned just because I automaticaly associate them with problem. I even find it a little sexy, but in a relationship and conversation I always picture them trying to control everything and reduce my power, and to men like us, it is not a very nice image.

    This website is amazing, Lucio! I already saved it and I’m probably going to show up more on the comments because I really want to see more engagement from the other people and it’s easy to iniciate it. I look forward to more posts in the “Celebrity Analysis”, “Social Power Moves”, “Body Langauge” and “Negotiation” categories! It’s amazing to read all the 48 laws of power from time to time, and your book review is also a great place to do it.

    1. Absolutely Gabriel, absolutely, brute dominance for dominance sake is not just difficult to maintain, but will indeed make your more enemies than friends. Despot and tyrants go down that road as it makes them feel powerful and they can maintain with a standing army -that’s why it’s hollow power- , but as soon as they slip up and the tide turns.. They end up swinging from the highest tree covered in saliva. Most people trying to dominate for their only gain today are much sneakier, but their game long term usually reveals anyway.
      In a way you could say this website’s idea is to shine a light on the games those people play so that everyone knows how to stand up to abuse and carve their own way in life.
      In the long term the only sustainable type of leadership and dominance is the one that adds value to the people around you and build them up, winning you friends and allies. And it’s the only way where you can look in the mirror and really be proud of yourself.
      And you sound like you have an intuitive grasp of that.

      By reading your own self-assessment, when you say you’re very confident and trying to rein yourself in, you seem already advanced and with a very healthy mindset. I would say don’t worry to much about keeping yourself in check, it’s OK to entertain arrogant thoughts for a period as long as you’re clear that long term you wanna stamp it out. Arrogance can be quite attractive to many women. But it’s not the best mode to be in: arrogance derives its power from feeling better than the others, and eventually you want to transcend that. It’s also easy to break arrogance because it gives power away to the environment: as soon as you’re not the top whatever around -and you can never be 100% sure of that-, you’re deflated. Eventually you’ll want to build your confidence from something more anti-fragile, but it sounds like it’s only a matter of time for you.

      Cheers buddy!

  4. Great article as always, Lucio. I found your website in a quora answer you gave on examples of the 48 laws of power being put to use. First of all, I would like to say that I regret a lot clicking on the gay walk link lol, it surprised me. I loved the Putin and KGB training reference because I actually read about it two days ago, also, Bush pointing the direction that Putin should go was obviously (for us) a clear power move done consciously.

    On men, a confident walk has lots of shoulder and arms moviment, as well as an open chest like you pointed out. In women, what would say are the most important indicators of strong confidence?

    1. Hey Gabriel, eheh yes those guy took “effeminate” to a whole new level :D. Well spotted on Bush, that was a power move indeed. In that particular occasion it’s OK for Putin as he’s the guest and Bush the host and you can expect the host to be more territorial. Actually if you’re in sales or if you want to ingratiate the person while you visit at their house or at their company it’s a good idea to proactively ask them where to sit and where to go in a deference display. It shows respect and you avoid looking like you’re barging into their space or even sitting on “their” favorite place, which could become a major faux pas.
      If someone is showing you the way outside of their territory, a counteruintive move to play against them is to say “thank you, thank you” and slightly pat his back, but without making eye contact, as if they were supposed to do it. The idea is to place yourself as the one who’s being served and taken care of and and to paint him like the one who’s inconveniencing himself to make you happy. Imagine a waiter-patron relationship: the waiter shows you where to sit, but you’re higher up (in that context).

      About the walk, confidence is (almost always) a necessary ingredient in a man’s demeanor for attractiveness. Not always so for a woman, and too much external confidence display in a woman can make her less feminine and less appealing to many men (I’ll have an article later on how a few top tier women can manage huge confidence while still remaining feminine: it’s not easy but it’s possible). So if we’re talking pure confidence and not attractiveness and femininity, then the woman would eradicate any possible submissive signs and possibly play down the most feminine traits. Hence we would have a bigger overlap between men and women. Minus the crotch display which would go way overboard.
      For a confident woman walk it’s more important to look ahead than it is for a man. Looking at the people around will look terrible either if she’s scanning for threats or for opportunities. While for a guy it’s acceptable to be on the hunt and sneak a peek here and there, a woman on the prowl is more likely to come across as low quality and needy.
      And a major difference would be speed: while being busy for a man is expected, a woman showing busy-ness through speed screams confidence and independence. It sub-communicate she needs no man to provide for her. Just picture a woman in a tailleur quickly strutting down the road with her head held high, a stern expression and a folder in her arm: you could easily be a bit intimidated to approach. Now if that woman could manage to add feminine touches to that frame, you’d have an explosive mix. As long as she can still retain femininity men love the idea of dominating a woman who looks defiantly independent.

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