Go in this order:
EI & Social Skills
Before learning power dynamics, it’s good to have a minimum level of social skills.
Some people naturally have both, while some others learned it with time.
Still, it won’t hurt to review the basics:
Basics of EI
There’s no great single product (yet) on growing EI in a practical way.
Read here.
Basics of Social Skills
Start with this:
Learning to analyze social relationships as exchanges will help you get into a mindset providing value, which will do a lot of good things for you
Also check the forum entries for some typical mistakes linked to the law of social exchange: missing the WIIFM and failing to put their best foot forward
Then go through these higher-level articles:
- Positive cynicism: start with cynicism to avoid being naive. And then move beyond it
- Enlightened collaborator: seek collaboration while being aware of the risks, the “dark side” present in every human being, and that some individuals are “darker” than others
Some people also need the basics on how to talk and how to hold a conversation.
This website has addressed some basics of group conversation, but didn’t address the basics too in-depth.
So check out some books:
- Best social skills books: the best books and resources to learn the basics
Then start adding some refinemen for some deeper human connections:
- Learn to move beyond exchanges for close relationships
The social exchange law is strongest among strangers and business-based transactions.
But the closer you get to someone, the more you want to add different layers.
For example, see “how to bond with people” and “how to be a leader” to get a feel for the higher levels of social skills
- The basics of high-quality behavior
Check out this post on communication styles, and make sure you learn how to be assertive.
- Now the basics of social power dynamics
First, start with this is a series of 4 articles on dominant body language, verbal expressions of power, body language of submission, and verbal expressions of submission. They will help you understand social dynamics at a deeper level than most other resources
Power Dynamics
Now let’s get into power dynamics properly:
- Power dynamics: let’s start with a definition, and why they matter
- Social power dynamics: more relevant to socialization
- The irrefutable laws of power: this post lists the main laws of personal and social power, and it will help you prioritize your self-development goals
- The fundamental strategies of power: this post details what works best for long-term success -success and power are the same-
- Mix power with warmth: Machiavelli said that, ideally, a prince should be feared and loved at the same time. He was right. That’s why you want both power and warmth. Also read “value and availability“, which is the ultimate goal of mixing power and warmth.
- Frame control techniques: understanding frames is understanding power dynamics. The full lesson is in social power, but here you get 75% of the value
These will provide you with the basics.
From here on, you can move to mastery with Power University.
