These are the top resources that Lucio Buffalmano — founder of The Power Moves and creator of Power University — has personally studied. Each entry has been analyzed and filtered through the lens of power dynamics, social strategy, and scientific psychology.
We continuously update these lists to include the best books, courses, and resources across critical areas like social skills, influence, dating, and leadership. Some of these knowledge sources underpin TPM’s methodology and programs.
Power University: Shortcut For Ambitious Men
We turned the insights from these thousands of resources into practical strategies and techniques to acquire social status, people’s respect, and women’s devotion.
Contents
- Top TPM Books
- 1. Power (Best of)
- 2. Social Skills (Best Of)
- 3. Dating & Seduction (Best of)
- 4. Influence & Persuasion (Best of)
- 5. Manipulation (Best of)
- 6. Career & Business
- 7. Leadership (Best of)
- 8. Psychology (Best of)
- 9. Red Pill
- 10. General Self-Development
- Books to Avoid
- Best Resources On Optimal Learning
Top TPM Books
At TPM, we view resources as bricks to a castle: individual components that form a functional “suprastructure” when integrated.
Because our methodology relies on synthesizing vast amounts of research into actionable strategies, naming only a few books would be reductive and potentially misleading.
However, if we were to identify a few pillars that underpin some of our core strategies and approaches, they would be:
- Exchange and Power in Social Life (Peter Blau): as the backbone of social exchange theory and the related concepts of ‘value’, ‘investment dynamics‘, ‘manipulation of exchanges’, etc.
- The Evolution of Cooperation (Robert Axelrod): as the backbone for maximizing returns on the above exchanges, underpinning some of our core principles such as effective cynicism, smart cooperation, foundational social strategies, and self-defense strategies
- Evolutionary Psychology (any top textbook) for dating dynamics, mate value, and human nature
- Academic Handbooks (various), collections written by leading researchers that synthesize the empirical evidence on a given topic. Key ones for the TPM relate to dark triad psychology, status, etc.
And:
- Power and strategy missing: We’re still awaiting the one foundational book for power (and its principles), interpersonal power dynamics (for status, dominance, power moves/games), and strategies and strategic thinking
In the meantime, Power University serves as the unified framework that integrates these disparate academic pillars into a cohesive, high-power system for real-world application.
1. Power (Best of)
This list took me so long to prepare.
Weeks of whittling down books and deciding which one was most instructive when it comes to power and (social) power dynamics.
In the end, after two days of thinking, writing, editing and changing, I finally came up with this list:
2. Social Skills (Best Of)
Social skills are one of those skills that are not easy to learn from books.
Yet, thinking that you can skip the theory to only focus on the practice is a bad approach.
Because theory, or at least good theory, can shave off years from your learning curve. Here is the list from someone who’s read (and listened/watched) to many of them:
2.2. Communication Skills
This list of best communication skills books focuses on verbal communication.
It ranges from conflict resolution to de-escalation to overcoming passive-aggressive communication.
What makes some of the books in this list some of the very best books to read -ever- is the many examples they provide.
Pick even just two of them and watch yourself take a quantum leap in your communication skills:
2.3. Assertiveness (Best of)
Assertiveness is one of the major four styles of communication.
Some consider assertiveness a meta-skill, such as a skill that magnifies or enables other skills.
In large part, agree with that.
Assertiveness precedes social power. And by enabling honest communication, it’s also a precondition for human connection, bond, and intimacy.
By allowing people to ask for what they want and need, assertiveness is also a fundamental skill for personal success. And by extending basic human respect, it also allows for long-term win-win relationships.
Are you sold now on assertiveness? :)
OK, good, so these are the best resources on assertiveness:
2.4. Body Language (Best of)
There are some great books on body language.
But it’s hard to learn body language just from books.
So the top positions on this list are documentaries, courses, and pictorial books:
2.5. Frame Control
Frame control is an important aspect of advanced social skills and social power dynamics.
There aren’t that many great resources on this important topic, and barely any resource focuses on frame control.
But these are the resources where I found some great tidbits on frame control:
3. Dating & Seduction (Best of)
There are many ways why dating and seduction matter in life:
- It allows you to meet more and higher quality people
- It allows you to enjoy more sex
- It allows you to enjoy romance
And, ultimately, and perhaps more meaningfully:
- It helps you to develop a relationship with someone you vibe with
3.2. Dating for Guys (Best Of)
I called it “best dating books for guys”, but in reality, many of the best entries are video products.
It couldn’t be otherwise.
Many of the sought-after traits in the sexual marketplace are communicated without words and with attitudes, tonality, and body language.
So video examples are needed here.
P.S.:
Best Dating Books for Women
3.4. Relationships (Best of)
Contrary to dating, there seems to be more consensus about what works in relationships.
P.S.:
Remember, these are mostly for “normal” and egalitarian relationships.
It doesn’t mean we’d advise any high-value man to do the same. And it doesn’t mean you can’t find other arrangements that work better for you.
4. Influence & Persuasion (Best of)
You can’t do much in life without others.
And what you can do through others via sheer force or coercion is very limited.
Especially in this (blessed) day and age of freedom, democracy, and general opulence (which decreases people’s dependency on others).
Hence, much of life’s success and effectiveness hinges on how well you can persuade others to join you, work with you, support you, or follow you.
These books will help you influence and persuade people.
4.2. Best Books on Negotiation
Negotiation is persuasion applied to deal-making.
Negotiations are going to be some of the most lucrative -or costly- hours of your life.
Better be prepared with a couple of good books.
5. Manipulation (Best of)
Does manipulation deserve its own category?
Probably manipulation, dark psychology, and any Machiavellian strategies to take advantage of others wouldn’t deserve their own category.
It could either be part of “advanced social skills”, or a subset of influence and persuasion.
But there is a reason why I do still give it its own category.
There is so little information around about this important area of self-development and self-empowerment, that we need all the good resources we can muster.
Hence, its own category.
Influence VS Manipulation
Influence and manipulation can overlap.
Author Robert Greene says that the two are the same.
While some other authors of influential books on manipulation differentiate between the two.
A third approach is that not only we can differentiate but we must differentiate.
And like George Simon observes, not differentiating equates to making excuses for bullies, abusers, and the generally value-taking folks of this world.
And it’s also important for self-development: anyone who wants to be a force for good in this world, it’s important to understand where the difference lies.
In brief, I differentiate the two in this way: manipulation is win-lose, abusive, or victimizing others.
While persuasion is either win-win, or grey area with only limited loss.
Don’t count on people to only limit themselves to persuasion, though.
Instead, it’s better to arm yourself with knowledge on how to defend against manipulation.
5.2. Best Dark Triad Books
Power and the quest for power are correlated with dark triad traits.
These books will help you better understand the traits of narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism:
6. Career & Business
Let’s differentiate:
6.2. Career (Best of)
To make a good career, you need political savvy.
And these books will help you with that:
6.3. Entrepreneurship (Best of)
Learning entrepreneurship from books is not easy.
But learning by doing only can be extremely costly.
Both in the mistakes we do and in the opportunities we miss (God knows how much quicker I could have grown this website with some well-timed advice).
But I have also grown this website much quicker thanks to some great advice I learned from books and other entrepreneurs.
The books in this list help you mostly with the mindsets.
7. Leadership (Best of)
This is how TPM sees it:
Leadership is the natural consequence of effective self-development.
Trying to skip to leadership without everything else makes for a poor leader.
Luckily, once you have the good foundations we teach here, then you can also work on your leadership skills.
Leadership is a skill like any other. And like any other skill, the way to improve at it is with both practice and theory.
These books will take care of the later:
8. Psychology (Best of)
Would you like to understand people and human behavior?
Follow this reading list of best psychology books and you will get to the top 1% when it comes to people’s knowledge.
- Best Psychology Books (to understand people)
8.2. Evolutionary Psychology
David Buss says that evolutionary psychology should be the unifying framework for all the different psychology branches and specializations.
And I couldn’t agree.
To get, at the same time, an overview and a deeper understanding of the human mind, you absolutely cannot do without evolutionary psychology.
And these are the best books to get you started:
8.3. Positive Psychology
Positive psychology is self-development, with good science.
Says Martin Seligman, one of the founders of positive psychology:
Positive thinking often involves trying to believe upbeat statements such as “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better” in the absence of evidence, or even in the face of contrary evidence. (…) Many educated people, trained in skeptical thinking, cannot manage this kind of boosterism. Learned optimism, in contrast, is about accuracy.
For those who can’t stand the empty mantra of some self-help gurus, positive psychologists came to the rescue.
For those who can’t stand the empty mantra of some self-help gurus, positive psychologists came to the rescue.
We combined all the insights into Confidence University:
- Confidence University for practical tactics from Positive Psychology
9. Red Pill
“Red Pill”, a concept from the movie “The Matrix”, could be described as:
Eye-opening information that replaces hold myths with new and more realistic information, including informtaionthat may be discomfroting and painful at first
The red pill has become popular with the manosphere, where it applies to a movement of information on masculinity that is (supposedly) based on reality, and against political correctness.
Most of the focus in red pill manosphere is intersexual dynamics.
In this list of best red pill resources, I pay homage to both approaches and include anything that is truly eye-opening, while mostly focusing on intersexual dynamics.
Check it out for yourself:
10. General Self-Development
There are so many good books to read in the self-category that picking the best books to read was a really difficult task.
So difficult indeed that it was painful to leave many great titles out.
But in the end, this is how you should prioritize your self-help reading list:
P.S.:
Best self-help resources for women
And outside of our main expertise, check:
- Best Nutrition Books (for the critical analysis and spotting quacks)
- Best Personal Finance Books (alumni only)
Books to Avoid
Your time is the most valuable resource you have.
And reading is not always and necessarily the best use of your time.
Reading bad books certainly is not a great use of your time.
Most Overrated Books
See:
Best Books VS Most Popular
You will find many hidden gems in our gems.
We believe it’s one of our main added value.
Many “best book lists” online are random lists of popular books.
Some of them are compiled without even reading those books.
And a few even shamelessly copy our lists.
But I found that there is little connection between popularity and quality.
So we’re happy to provide a platform to showcase quality information including lesser-known books and resources.
Best Resources On Optimal Learning
To optimize your learning:
- Naive self-help: Most self-help is misleading out of naivete, virtue signaling, or just plain ignorance. Learn how to spot it and fix it.
- Law of optimum balance. The misconception that “more equals to better or more effective” is rampant in modern guru-culture. This article shows it’s seldom the case.
- Glass ceilings. Or “why 99% of self-help leads to plateaus”. This is a meta-review on general learning to reach the pinnacle.
- 3 pillars of mastery. Great teachers have experience, scientific knowledge, and are smart thinkers. This article helps you assess the authors’ expertise.
- Why I stopped reading mainstream books. In brief, because they’re optimized for selling more than instructing. They’re often written by non-experts, while targeting average readers.
- Power University. The quickest yet most comprehensive way to become a high-value winner
