I have perused the most popular dating books for women available.
As a matter of fact, I’m not aware of a single major title I haven’t read.
Coming up with the top 5 best dating books for women was not easy and some good titles had to be left out.
But to make the cut in this dating books reading list I had a simple rule: there shouldn’t be any major advise which, in my opinion, could work against women.
For example, the popular concepts of making him chase, invest and wait for sex as much as possible do often work. But it mostly works with low quality men and avoidant men -and you don’t want either-.
So I eliminated the dating books that don’t accurately flesh out those concepts.
The books below instead all share one thing in common: top dating advice for women with little or no downside.
Date-onomics is not a dating book in the strict sense of the word.
There are no “place yourself near him” tips or “make him chase” suggestions. But it’s the best book available to link behaviors, difficulty (or ease) in finding a good mate and… Numbers.
Date-onomics is eye opening, fun and highly applicable.
And it might have the best dating advice you could ever receive:
- The best way to (easily) find a man is being in an environment with lots of high quality men
Take care of that, and you might not need any further advise.
Quote: “It’s not that he’s not that into you, it’s that there aren’t enough of him”
4. Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man
Two caveats: while Harvey proposes a 90 days no sex rule, I believe long waiting times are unhelpful.
Steve also caters to more traditional men who want to be providers. He’s right, but it doesn’t apply to everyone.
That being said, Harvey has boatloads of dating wisdom and introduces one groundbreaking concept:
The Minimum Achievement Bar. It says that men need to reach their minimum life goals of income/career before they can fully focus on a woman.
Overall, in his huge bestseller, Harvey provides an effective crossover between actual dating and successful relationships.
Quote: “Women who let him lead win at dating”
3. The Art of Seduction
Different realms that he wisely mixes and combine to back his theories with examples and famous case studies.
I put it “only” as fourth in the best dating books for women list because it’s heavy in theory. And the actual seduction stage is more geared towards men.
But don’t get me wrong: The Art of Seduction will deepen your psychological knowledge of dating like few other books -if any- ever could.
Quote: “Sirens offer the promise of endless pleasure… And a little bit of danger”
3. Attraction Explained
Just when I thought “Date-Onomics” was the only source to provide some data and science on female dating, I stumbled onto Viren Swami’s work.
And what a gem it is.
This book will help women cut through the BS of “Cosmopolitan” style advice by sharing what’s been proven to work and what’s most likely to backfire.
Here is one quick tip: “playing hard to get” is more likely to backfire because like begets like and dislike begets dislike.
Quote: “When we play hard-to-get, we give the impression that we dislike the person – and that just isn’t conducive to sparking attraction“
2. Never Chase Men Again
Bruce Bryan focuses on high quality men, and he does a great job at that. He really gets how high quality men think.
A couple takeaways from this great book:
- Escalate Emotional Investment: when he’s proven his worth, show vulnerability and escalate emotional investment. If he reciprocates, he’s a keeper;
- Don’t move in if you want marriage: men consider moving in a way to test ride or forestall marriage.
And many more great pearls of wisdom await you in “Never Chase Men Again”.
Quote: “Men with a backbone don’t take demands as a sign of quality but as self entitlement“
1. The Tao of Dating
Binazir takes top spot of our women’s dating reading list in one of the most underrated books I’ve ever come across.
The author has a deep grasp of human nature and understands dating and high quality men mindsets.
He shares lots of deep wisdom, some of which includes:
- Fulfillment is a feeling NOT a person (so don’t get hang up on any specific man)
- Don’t play unavailable games: it will mistakenly make you like him less (back justification)
He’s also the only author of all the best dating books for women who says that early sex can gain you leverage if it’s a great, guilt-free experience. And I couldn’t agree more.
Quote: “Respect for female strength does not translate into male attraction“
Best Dating Books Recap
Girls, you can’t go wrong with any of these titles.
They will not only make you better at dating, but they will teach you more about relationship, life and psychology.
If you feel it’s too much to chew on at first, check out my women’s dating guide.
It’s an overview of the all the women’s dating literature in one single ebook (plus more science, studies and yours’ truly experience-based advise).