How do you make a girl fall in love with you?

It’s simple: be a high-value man.

Really, if you’re generally working on becoming a high-quality man, most women will fall in love with you.

But to take it to the next level and steal her heart like nobody before, keep on reading.

He’s doing it perfectly

1. Start With The Basics: Be A Cool Guy

The basics are your 80%.

Do these, and most women you date will fall in love with you:

1. Be high value
2. Be higher power than her
3. Date high power, mind the basic dating power dynamics
   1. Make sure you’re not chasing, giving too much while taking too little, etc. etc.
   2. Be slightly less available than her
4. Lead (resolutely, but in a collaborative, win-win way)
5. Get to know her well, bond and connect, stay curious about her and her life
6. Have your personal life priorities, passions, friends, and goals you’re pursuing
7. Be a good lover, find time for good and/or passionate sex with her, make her orgasm if possible
8. Maximize oxytocin, maximize skin-to-skin contact after sex, hug often
9. Do quality time together -quantity helps as well of course, but focus on quality over quantity-
10. To sustain love move the relationship forward, grow together, or take on new challenges and do new experiences together

That’s it.

If you’re in Power University, you already have all the tools to make women fall in love with you.
And you follow the straight line seduction and processes we set here you’re also dating well.

All you have to do is to eventually find one who likes you enough to start dating you.

Target selection

Obviously, women differ.

Both in terms of personality, and how they relate to you.
And it’s easier to make some women fall in love than others.

These women are more likely to fall in love quicker and harder, and easier to remain devoted to you:

• Lower value women: people tend to fall harder for higher sexual market value partners, so everything will be easier if you “date down”
• Lower socio-economic class women: the qualitative lifestyle jump make falling in love easier
• Younger and/or inexperienced women: tend to be more idealistic and have lower defenses, plus everything is new and exciting for them and the power/leadership gap is larger

HOWEVER…

You can make most women fall in love.
And I’ve personally been with women who were more attractive women -not that difficult anyway :)- and, even when I was not much experienced, still fell in love hard.

What we do recommend though is to pick women who:

• Like you: women who appreciate and like you tend to be more loving, devoted, and even kinder
• Appreciate your qualities: same as above
• Have good interpersonal chemistry with you: getting along well makes for better quality time together, which is an important element of falling in love

2. Lead (Ie.: Be an “Eagle Leader”)

Your leadership is crucial to make women fall in love.

Egalitarian dating wins you virtue-signaling points, but male leadership wins your women’s hearts.

And the type of leadership that best makes girls fall in love is based on:

• Safety and trust (win-win leadership): love is based on letting go, abandoning herself to you. And she cannot let herself go unless she feels safe, consciously and subconsciously. An edgy man or an asshole can lead into the bedroom, but it’s difficult for her to let go when she doesn’t also feel safe. So warmth and comfort are also crucial.
• Control over the environment: once she feels safe with him, she must also feel safe with him from the world. This is one of the reasons why your place is the perfect final location for love. It’s safe, you safely came back from the outside world, and everything is fully under your control.
• Intellectual / mental leadership: since falling in love is a psychological and mental product, she must feel he is also “mentally” leading and higher power.

Many of our processes and strategies are based on hitting these crucial notes.

3. Do Memorable Dates (Ie. “Total Dates”)

We call them “total” because they contain all the ingredients that make women fall in love.

• Connection & bonding
• Personal disclosure
• Fun / silliness / playfulness
• Great food / wine
• Great intimacy
• Romance

“Total dates” are one of the best ways to make girl fall in love because they are simple, easy to replicate, and reliable.
All you have to do is:

1. Have a great dinner: ideally, go there hungry and make it a feast
   • At home, generally preferable
   • At a restaurant where physical proximity is possible. Some privacy is also ideal (ie.: Japanese places with your own room)
2. Have a little special reason or make it feel special: “feel” comes first and you don’t really need a reason. But if you want to add a reason, can be a small celebration -celebration of life or of you two if there is nothing-, a topic you want her opinion on, or a “special food” you can talk about (in my case: pecorino, Parmigiano, olives, mozzarella, etc., etc.)
3. Romantic environment (candles, wine, etc.)
4. Background music
5. Have an (emotionally) safe, intimate, and romantic time
   • Personal disclosures
   • Deeper conversation
   • Intimacy between meals
6. Sprinkle joviality and good mood

Most of the times when women professed their love to me was either during “Total Dates”, or when having a good time with a bottle of wine.

If you have developed a “seductive environment“, then your total dates take place there, with the full experience on.

You can do bigger and longer “full dates” on weekends, in which case you can combine with the inebriation and/or full-day technique.
But shorter middle-of-the-week ones are also fantastic.
They punctuate their duller week with romance and love, and make you stand out even more.

Keep doing total dates during the relationship, turning them into an intimate ritual of pleasure for you two.

4. Penetrate Her Mind

Falling in love is, in good part, a function of “mental real estate”.

Such as: how often she thinks of you, plus in what terms she thinks of you.
To be “important” in her life, even negative feelings and thoughts will do. But since we’re aiming for love, devotion, and generally value-adding influence, you want positive thoughts and associations.

Once you’re setting up those positive associations, you want to “activate them” as often as possible because neuroscience suggests that the more often a neural pathway fires, the stronger that association becomes.

In simple terms, you want to develop a positive association between you and positive feelings in her mind, and fire up that association as often as possible (without chasing or being taken for granted).

So your goal is to:

• Make her think about you: strike a balance between texting & meeting enough to be top of mind, without overdoing it so that you get taken for granted. To maximize power of repetition and personal power let her come to you slightly more than you seek her out
• Make her think positively about you: generally being high-value and uplifting is enough
• Create more positive associations with you: experiences, great dates, inside jokes, plus all we teach here creates positive associations
• Extend & repeat those associations over time: or what we call “thread expanding” in power dynamics. Keep on reading

One simple way of recalling and thread-expanding on positive associations is to create inside humor and stories, and to ping her with positive associations.
Ideally, it’s things you:

• Laughed about
• Inside stories, jokes, and fantasies you created
• Funny things you both self-disclosed about yourself

A simple and effective ping is a day-after picture after a “Total Date”.

You still want to be strategic with your pings and not be always available.
But a good reminder is: ping a woman who’s not into you, and it’s chasing. Ping a woman who’s dating you and about to fall for you, and she’ll swoon.

Example:

She’s bored at work, and then gets a picture of you reminding her of the great time.

For more “dark psychology techniques“, see Seduction University.

5. Romance Her (& Yourself)

There aren’t many women in the world who don’t enjoy -or dream- of romance.

Romance can work any time, including pre-intimacy.
But, generally speaking, it works better after you’re already together, or when you’re courting over a few dates (as opposed to one-date intimacy approaches).

There are a thousand ways to romance:

• Candlelit dinners:
• Flowers: a good friend of mine broke a few women’s hearts without even trying. He’s naturally incredibly thoughtful and kind. He’d bring flowers on first dates, make gifts, care about her, and even make gifts to her family. Then, he’d ask me why women got so attached to him, or “how can one have sex with no string attached”. He didn’t realize he was acting like a perfect boyfriend
• Gifts, especially personalized gifts for her that include art and poetry
• Romantic music:
• Slow dance
• “Stereotypical” romantic activities & moments, don’t underestimate the power of the “romantic cliches”: they have become cliches because they worked. So yes to boat rides, picnics, trips to Venice, gazing into each other’s eyes, etc.

The best way to romance is to enjoy the romance yourself.
As we said a few time, you’re both a conductor leading and an actor enjoying the play.

An example of romantic dance:

Him: this music, this place, isn’t it perfect. Will you dance with me (gives her his hand)
Her: (faints)

Of course it’s a TV show so they exaggerated the reaction. But moves like these do make girls fall in love with you.

6. Create “Us Bubbles”

I was once sitting on a bench with an ex of mine in our early dating stages.

We were in front of a little park, nothing special, with people walking by and one dog playing around.
We sat, looked at the world around us, and commented on it.
For example, I remember the dog was strangely slow. I pointed it out to her and we both focused on it. I made some fun of it, saying the dog in his mind was so fast and furious. We turned it into a little story, and both laughed.

After a while, she literally commented:

Her: Oh my God, it feels like it’s only you and I in the world

That’s the “us bubble”.
And that’s when I knew for sure she was falling in love -or more like “plunging”-.
If I wanted to thread expand and cement that moment I could have taken her hand, said “it is only you and I, baby”, and then kissed her romantically.

Family Guy has a good skit on the “bubble” feeling:

A bit too “social climbing” in this video example and he’s not exactly leading, but it’s a good scene to understand some of the underlying dynamics.

To be more eagle-like and higher quality you want to avoid pushing people down so badly.
You can laugh at people, but it’s more “laughing for fun” around your crazy stories than “laughing at them” and pushing them down.

Good ways to re-create the us bubble:

See Seduction University

“Us bubbles” are also the perfect time to create “inside stories & jokes”:

7. Create “Inside Stories & Jokes”

Insider references make little sense to most people, but are meaningful or funny to you two.

It’s anything that she can talk and laugh with you, but you only.

As a rule of thumb:

The more inside stories and jokes you have, the more special you -and you two- become.
And the more inside stories and jokes you have, the more mental real-estate you’ll occupy.

This is part of what relationship researcher John Gottman refers to as “shared meaning”.

Every time anything in her life reminds her of that inside story and joke, she’s reminded of you.
And how you only would understand what she’s feeling (how powerful is that!).

Some examples:

• Fun stories or fantasies you laugh about

With the whole world she discusses logically -and boringly-.
But with you, she can step into a new world.

• Politically incorrect inside stories

With the whole world, she’s “proper”, with you, she’s “real” -how good is that!-.

• Personal disclosures (that you turned into an inside joke)

She doesn’t disclose her personal things to anyone else.
Only with you.
Bonus points if it was something that bothered her and you managed to turn into a positive and/or something she can now laugh about.

See SU for more.

8. Get Inebriated Together

Love is about “letting go”.

And inebriation helps to let both physically and psychologically.
Some alcohol is particularly helpful when she was already feeling something for you, but was afraid of showing it.
The inebriation helps and frees her to experience them fully, amplify them… And often even communicate them to you.

There are many advantages and techniques around inebriation.

One of them is the “freedom to brag”.
Generally, we don’t recommend bragging or anything that feels “forced” when displaying your personal value.

And that makes sense, right?
If you do, you come across as try-hard and like you’re trying to impress her. And that’s low value.

BUT…

The beauty of getting inebriated is that when you’re inebriated you get a pass on almost anything.
You can brag a little, you can open up about what have been difficult periods in your life without coming across as negative or with baggages (and then quickly transition to happy topics).
The stark contrast of vulnerable sharing, and then back to laughing and enjoying life makes it all the more memorable.

Other techniques to make her fall in love with you:

• Talk about your exes, how attractive or cool they were, and that increases your preselection and her attraction
• Dig deeper into her past without looking jealous, because you’re just sharing stories
• Sing and act silly, stoke her “motherly instincts”. What would be “childish” becomes “fun and lust for life”, while still maintaining the overall frame of “high-power” and “effective in life”.
• Revisit the story of your romance, how you met, what you truly thought of her, ask her what she truly thought of you, and grow closer without looking cheesy or defensive

You can also combine inebriation with the “full day together” experience -as a matter of fact, we recommend it-,

Some of my great love experiences -and some of the easiest to replicate- have been with wine.
Including:

• Smuggling wines into theaters as a student
• The opening story in Seduction University, chaperoning through the Eternal city and punctuated by dinner and wine
• Picnics and wine
• Romantic home-cooked dinners at home with wine (“Total Dates”)

9. Lead Her Into A Whirlwind Romance

A whirlwind romance is a seduction that either:

1. Happens very fast, out of attraction and chemistry, not easy to replicate systematically. But long pauses and eye-gazing work. Sometimes, evening opening her and just looking at her for a few seconds can stoke chemistry and attraction
2. Takes place over several consecutive hours going through different places and emotions (“perfect days”, see later)
3. Takes place over several dates closely spaced together
4. Move from first meeting to talking of love and starting couple life at breakneck speed, see Seduction University

9.2. Fast Dating

If you’re going for several dates, having those dates closely spaced helps create a “whirlwind romance” feeling.

Some good fast dating:

1. A quick coffee or bite
2. A dinner date
3. Doing something fun
4. Cooking at home

The key to make her fall in love is the feel that you two will be together (or that you’re destined to be).
When that happens, sex becomes secondary and she can be “yours” before sex even happens.
In between, you will send texts, pictures, check-in on each other, and care for each other.

This works best with women who are very interested in you and with more conservative women.

10. Lead The “Perfect Day” Together (full-day romance date)

There is something magical about spending a long time together while passing through several different places and situations.

The popular movie “Before Sunrise” that we use as an example of bonding and connecting is the story of man and woman spending a day and night together.

And albeit it’s a niche movie, more than one woman shared a snapshot from that movie in their Tinder profiles.
That’s because, deep down, they dream of something similar happening to them.

The song “Perfect Day” also references the arch of a full day together (and you can add it to your playlist, by the way).

Just a perfect day
1. Drink sangria in the park
2. And then later, when it gets dark / We go home
Just a perfect day
2. Feed animals in the zoo
3. Then later a movie, too
4. And then home
Oh, it’s such a perfect day
(…)

How to set up “perfect days”

With a picnic example:

See Seduction University

11. Have Sex (Ideally, Orgasmic & Multi-Orgasmic)

If sex helps bonding and orgasms help to bond, multi-orgasms bond the most.

Being her “best” can be the cherry on the pie of your awesome personality, and make you even more the best package she’s ever had.

This works mostly for orgasmic women and sexually liberated women. And less well for non-orgasmic women, low sex drive women, or more sexually repressed women.

11.2. Do Slow & Longer Sexual Sessions

Slow sex making is great for making her fall in love.

Best of all if you gaze into each other’s eyes.

12. Take Her Out In Luxury

The “luxury whirlwind” with a high-power man is a high-reliability shortcut to make women swoon. Add romance, and she’s putty in your hands.

And it isn’t even about materialism.

It’s about the display of power and the indirect display of life effectiveness.
Almost all women are wired to fall for that.

It doesn’t work nearly as well for women who are born into luxury or used to it, but it works with most other women.

Even women who are used to a comfortable lifestyle can fall in love when taken to “the next level”.
Said Italian men’s dream-woman Manuela Arcuri on her fling with the sheik:

Our relationship lasted around one year, it was like living a fairytale. I was in love
(…)
On a background of dream travels, luxury hotels, and gifts of all kinds

This method doesn’t necessarily need “top of line luxury” though because “next level” is relative.

I remember when I was living in Prague in a very large room centrally located right beside the metro.
Great top location, BUT it was in a shared flat and with barely OK furnishing (including Ikea crap). Truly nothing “great”.
But to a student I took back and who was originally from a village, it seemed a lot. She asked how much I was paying, I glossed over and let her imagine as I smiled (remember: avoid talking of hard cash, it’s crude). She literally covered her mouth in excitement and a little later started escalating on me.

13. Persuade Her, Change Her Mind

Women tend to fall in love when they’re with a man who is:

1. Effective in life
2. Effective with people
3. Skilled at frame control, mostly used for win-win
4. Persuasive

Sure, being able to fix a leaking pipe is part of being “effective in life”, and it’s a great skill.
But what women truly evolved to lust after is men who can make other men work and do things for them, or for the collective. So one of the most important -if not the most important- ways of being effective in life, is being effective with and through others.

And that’s leadership & persuasion, power competence, and high-level social skills.

You display those both by going through life events together and, even more, directly with her.

For example, while discussing something, if you can persuade her without turning it into a frame battle and “me VS you”, just that by itself often make women fall in love.

Strategic Persuasion & Frame Control

See Seduction University

14. Uplift, Guide, Mentor

This is where seduction overlaps with general self-development.

Women fall in love when their partner is “so good” that he takes several important roles in their lives.

For example:

• Spiritual guide
• Career mentor
• Social strategist advisor to help them solve and improve relationships and workplace politics.

Or, you might have guessed it now, a father figure.

14.2. Use positive psychology for “uplifting leadership”

Many women (and men) are:

• Stuck into negative thought patterns
• Focused on the negatives
• Over-reactive to life events and others

That can seem like small stuff when you’re past it, but it can make life miserable.

It’s invaluable when you can step in and help them be happier and more optimistic with some basic “positive psychology” guidance.

You may become a “therapist figure”, and it’s important that anyone in this position uses this power wisely.
One example we shared in the relationship module of PU:

Repeat that a few times over, and she’s deep in love.

15. Learn From The Best Mentors

For example…

One who is short, bold, and not very attractive.

And still had attractive women fall in love with him :).

He teaches it all in PU and SU.

SUMMARY

Women reliably fall in love when high-value men lead her through the romantic process.

This article showed you the steps to do provide women with that experience.

Note on the resources:
While we make our content scientifically referenced, The Handbook on Relationships Initiation explains there isn’t much research on falling in love. Research focused more on attraction and established love -rather than the transition-.
However, we pieced together what’s available, and mixed with our experience and observation.

This is an excerpt from Seduction University, where you find the most practical strategies and examples