A Goal Diggers Guide (2010) is a book for Machiavellian women on how to milk rich men for money, but also how to become financially independent and live life on your terms.
- Bullet Summary
- Goal Digger Summary
- Ask For What You Want
- Never Apologize
- Go For Owners, Not Players
- Never Ask What He Does
- Test For His Compliance
- Don’t Let People See You Taking His Contact
- Take a Look at The Backdoors
- Meet Outside the Restaurant
- Don’t Listen to His Life Story
- If You Think He’s Lying…
- Buy Him a Drink
- Ask Him What He Wants To Do
- Ask a No Question to Get Out of Sex Duties
- Baje’s Books Recommendation
- Goal Digger Review
- Educate yourself, save up, and don’t give it up
- Ask for what you want, and drop him if he doesn’t give it
- Gold digging is a means to an end: financial independence is your final goal
Goal Digger Summary
The guide is called a Gold Digger’s Guide, but it could actually be called “get an education, invest in yourself, don’t sleep around, and save for your future”.
Then, on the side, here’s how you can get some money gold-digging on some rich men.
Baje’s gold-digging style indeed is that of a goal-setter who knows what she wants and works hard to get there.
Including pulling some tricks on rich guys.
And here is how you actually gold-dig:
Ask For What You Want
Always ask for what you want.
Ask in front of other people too, so the pressure is on them to say yes.
And if they don’t comply, leave right away.
If you’re shy?
Use text or emails.
If you never apologize you come across more as an authority figure, and he’s more likely to comply.
Go For Owners, Not Players
Fletcher says men with real money often are low-key and don’t flash around jewelry and sport-scars.
You will often recognize them because of the people they have around them and because of how the people around them treat them.
Go for them, not for the flashy guy with the abs.
Never Ask What He Does
Unless he asks first, don’t ask what he does.
When you do, you come across as too interested in his material wealth.
You want to recognize that he’s rich beforehand, not ask him how rich he is.
Your confirmation will come later, once you will ask for what you want and he will provide it.
Test For His Compliance
Fletcher takes “shit tests“ to a whole new level.
The first compliance is how hard they chase you and how much they invest in you.
If he is not complying, no need to waste your time.
Don’t chase men who don’t spend on you from the beginning or who don’t come to you.
Money is useless unless they’re willing to spend it.
and men who won’t listen to you will rarely splurge on you when you ask.
So make sure you test his mettle early on by asking this:
Gold Digger: What are you drinking
If he doesn’t offer you the same, drop him.
Don’t Let People See You Taking His Contact
Never use your phone when you’re talking to a guy: it will seem like you’re exchanging contacts and you come across as less exclusive.
If he takes his phone out, tell him to put it away.
Instead, memorize his number.
Baje has some tricks to memorize phone numbers, and I invite you to check the book for that.
I think exchanging business cards might be a happier medium than memorizing phone numbers.
Take a Look at The Backdoors
No, not anal sex.
Important and rich men often use backdoors and alleyways to get in: keep an eye on them.
And make friends with DJs, bouncers, and managers to get the lowdown on people and to know who’s there.
Meet Outside the Restaurant
So he can pay for parking and fuel.
If you’re afraid of asking, make him follow you to your car when you leave and tell him you need to stop for gas.
If he doesn’t offer to pay, ditch him.
Don’t Listen to His Life Story
If you listen to him, you’ll start seeing him as a person.
See him as a target instead: no star gazing, candles, and romantic stuff. Just a target.
If You Think He’s Lying…
… Ask the question and stay silent.
The pressure will lead to adding more details or dig himself deeper.
Buy Him a Drink
To throw him off.
That’s something that rarely happens to him.
Ask Him What He Wants To Do
When he asks you what you want to do, don’t reply like most other gold-diggers do.
Ask him instead, so you can gauge what kind of man he is.
Ask a No Question to Get Out of Sex Duties
There will be times when he will pressure for sex.
And you don’t want to give him sex.
When you feel like you want to get out of there or you need an excuse to deny him: ask a no question.
A no question is a huge request which will compel him to say no. Once he says no, you have an excuse to refuse him or to leave.
This is wicked good indeed and works on the exact same principle I talked about in my lowball technique article.
Baje’s Books Recommendation
Baje Fletcher also recommends a bunch of books to read, among which:
And if it were around when she wrote the book, probably she’d recommend this website as well :).
Goal Digger Review
I enjoyed “A Goal Digger Guide”.
There are several good tips and techniques, but unluckily the true psychological layer that makes someone want -or even addicted- to be with someone else was missing.
So while A Goal Digger Guide may be good for some tricks, it’s not as good for deeper seduction.
Baje doesn’t mince words, so the book is heavy in manipulation techniques, but then again: would anyone expect anything different from this type of book?
On the plus side, it’s fun, chock full of great tips, and with real-life stories and examples.
Contrary to what the title might suggest, the core message is very empowering and improvement-oriented.
Don’t get side-tracked by the title, this may be a gold digger guide, but ask for a self-improvement book and a social skills book.
I leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the author.
She says some women get weak in the knees in the presence of celebrities and very rich men.
But they’re just normal people, she says.
And talking about one of them who got the cash, but not the manners and skills, she comments:
In my eyes he was just another brother who happened to get a lucky break, but still had no clue how to handle a woman.