A Goal Digger’s Guide (2010) teaches women how to attract rich men, get them to invest, and use that leverage for financial freedom. It’s part manipulation playbook, part empowerment guide.
TPM Strategic Audit: This text is audited here as a study in a ‘taker’s approach’ to dating (Resource Extraction strategy) and dating power dynamics. For the high-value man, this summary serves as strategic knowledge about the ‘dark psychology tactics’ to help you spot red flags and vet for quality and supportive women.
Key Takeaways
- Educate yourself, save up, and don’t give it up
- Ask for what you want, and drop him if he doesn’t give it
- Gold digging is a means to an end: financial independence is your end goal
Summary
A Gold Digger Guide is a pun between gold digging and goal digging. But it’s actually both.
The author’s approach is about chasing personal goals and never being dependent on anyone. But she pursues financial goals with gold-digging.
Here is how the author suggests combining both approaches:
1. Ask For What You Want
An effective gold digger always asks for what she wants.
Ask in front of other people too, so the pressure is on them to say yes.
And if they don’t comply, leave right away.
If you’re shy?
Use text or emails.
2. Never Apologize
This is all about power and interpersonal power dynamics.
If you never apologize, you come across more as an authority figure, and he’s more likely to comply.
🙋🏼♂️ Lucio’s note: major red flag for men and women who also want a good relationship
Not apologizing when an apology is due is a major red flag. Not apologizing is a strong signal of dark triad personality, and it’s often linked to gaslighting.
Also read:
- Judge power dynamics, linked to emotional power dynamics and authority figures
3. Go For Owners, Not Players
Go for wealthy low-key owners, not for the flashy guy with the abs.
Fletcher says men with real money often are low-key and don’t flash around jewelry and sports scars.
You recognize owners through the people they have around, and how they treat them.
4. Never Ask What He Does
Unless he asks first, don’t ask what he does.
When you do, you come across as too interested in his material wealth.
You want to recognize that he’s rich beforehand, not ask him how rich he is.
Your confirmation will come later, once you will ask for what you want and he will provide it.
Ask Him What He Wants To Do Instead
If he asks first, don’t reply like most other gold-diggers do. Ask him instead, so you can gauge what kind of man he is.
5. Test For His Compliance
Fletcher takes “shit tests“ to a whole new level.
The first compliance is to test how hard they chase you and how much they invest in you.
You must screen out men who don’t comply, men who don’t chase, and men who don’t invest.
If he is not complying, no need to waste your time.
Don’t chase men who don’t spend on you from the beginning or who don’t come to you.
Money is useless unless they’re willing to spend it.
And men who won’t listen to you will rarely splurge on you when you ask.
The Subtle Gold Digger Test
So make sure you test his mettle early on by asking this:
Gold Digger: What are you drinking
If he doesn’t offer you the same, drop him.
6. Get His Contact Discreetly
Never use your phone when you’re talking to a guy: it will seem like you’re exchanging contacts and you come across as less exclusive.
If he takes his phone out, tell him to put it away.
Instead, memorize his number.
Baje has some tricks to memorize phone numbers, and I invite you to check the book for that.
My Note:
I think exchanging business cards might be a happier medium than memorizing phone numbers.
7. Take a Look at The Backdoors
Actual backdoors.
Important and rich men often use backdoors and alleyways to get in: keep an eye on them.
And make friends with DJs, bouncers, and managers to get the lowdown on people and to know who’s there.
8. Meet Outside the Restaurant
Why?
So he can pay for parking and fuel.
If you’re afraid of asking, make him follow you to your car when you leave and tell him you need to stop for gas.
If he doesn’t offer to pay, ditch him.
9. Don’t Listen to His Life Story (to Stay Detached)
If the gold digger listens to him, she will start seeing more as a person.
But, the author says, the gold diggers cannot allow themselves to fall for him and must maintain emotional detachment.
In a way, the author’s advice here is to become ‘more psychopathic‘, having no empathy, and only seeing him as a target.
This is why it’s almost never a good idea for men to date gold diggers.
If You Think He’s Lying…
… Ask the question and stay silent.
The pressure will lead to adding more details or dig himself deeper.
10. Buy Him a Drink
To throw him off.
That’s something that rarely happens to him.
Bonus: Ask a No Question to Skip Intimacy
This technique leverages reciprocity from the social exchange.
The author says that there will be times when a guy may pressure for sex. And you don’t want to give him sex.
When you feel like you want to get out of there or you need an excuse to deny him: ask a no question.
A no question is a large request which will compel him to say no. Once he says no, you have an excuse to refuse him or to leave.
Baje’s Books Recommendation
Baje Fletcher also recommends a bunch of books to read, among which:
- The 48 Laws of Power <—🙋🏼♂️ List of maxims, not an ‘how to’. Complement with ‘dating power dynamics 101‘
- The Art of Seduction <—🙋🏼♂️ Solid. Consider the deeper Seduction University
- Poor Dad Rich Dad <—🙋🏼♂️ Good, but it’s basic
- Think and Grow Rich <—🙋🏼♂️ Some good points, but lots of woo-woo.
Check out our recommended best resources:
- Best books and courses for self-empowerment
PROS
- Empowering go-getter approach
We do not agree or endorse all of Baje’s advice, especially the Machiavellian taker’s attitude, which doesn’t align with our honorable preference.
But this book isn’t just gold-digging, it’s goal-setting.
The main dish is about self-improvement, long-term planning, and achieving one’s goals.
Cons
A Goal Digger Guide is chock full of great tips, and with real-life stories and examples, but:
Misses Advanced Seduction
Although several tips and techniques are spot-on, the deeper psychological insights that make men crave her were missing.
So while A Goal Digger Guide may be good for some tricks, it’s not as good for deeper seduction.
Baje doesn’t mince words, so the book is heavy in manipulation techniques, but then again, would anyone expect anything different from this type of book?
Review
A Goal Digger’s Guide is an entertaining read that offers a mix of practical tips on how to be a gold digger, and genuine self-development strategies and mindsets.
While the guide also shares tips on ‘the art of gold digging’, it may as well be called “get an education, invest in yourself, and plan for your future”.
I leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the author.
She says some women get weak in the knees in the presence of celebrities and very rich men.
But they’re just normal people, she says.
And talking about one of them who got the cash, but not the manners and skills, she comments:
In my eyes he was just another brother who happened to get a lucky break, but still had no clue how to handle a woman.
