Frame control refers to the body of skills and attitudes that create shared meaning among people.

Frames shape the narrative and the meaning people assign to words and events.
Good frame control allows you to influence what people think, feel, and do.

We have been the foremost authority on frame control for years now.
And with this article, we teach you 10 frame control techniques to gain status, influence people, and achieve your goals.

1. Speak From Your Frame

Emotionally weak men defend and react. Leaders speak from their frames.

For example:

Journalist: Critics say your immigration policy is racist<— Incendiary question with loaded keywords. Easy to get defensive, over-react, and lose authority and influence

Strategic Politician: We believe that smart and selective immigration can be a source of strength. <— Doesn’t react, starts a new frame basead on his values

But we do not support unchecked immigration that turns into a cost for our country. <— Frames the criticism as costly for everyone

Skilled workers who respect our values are welcome <— Ends on a positive

It takes emotional strength because we naturally react to what’s either flashiest, or offensive.
But once you can remain unaffected, your become more authoritative and influential.

2. Frame Ignoring

Ignore the speaker, the message, or both

Ignoring makes you look superior and works in a multitude of situations.
When you’re not sure what to do or say, ignore and you will often limit damage.
Imagine someone wants to tool you by a pool:

Tooler: Hey dude, did you borrow your swimsuit from your grandma or what
You: (glances in his general direction) hey man, what’s up (turn away and ignores)

Ignoring is on a range, and doesn’t necessarily mean you pretend nothing happened. It ranges from pretending they don’t existing, to acknowledging and replying, but selectively ignoring part of their frame.

3. Reframe It

Reframe everything towards what best moves you towards your goal.

For example, one can reframe a supposed negative, into a positive.

Frame Flipping™

Frame Flipping™ is TPM’s term for reframing that flip a narrative on its head from an obvious negative, to a positive

Ronald Reagan won the election with this single frame flip:

Interviewer: (calls into question Reagan’s age and mental faculties)
Reagan: I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience <— Flips younger age from asset, to liability. And framed his older age as advantageous experience

Similarly, a man may reply:

Negative friend: If I go say ‘hi’ I will bother her
Empowered friend: If you don’t go say ‘hi’ she will lose a chance of meeting a great guy

3.2. Refuse Their Reframes, Set Your Own

A manipulative negotiator may say:

Him: Look, this is not about legal issues, this is about trust. And we’ve known each other for a while now, haven’t we? <— Potentially manipulative to make you drop your guard and frame you as being too difficult

While you could choose to own it and say you don’t trust, it’s often best to power-protect to maintain rapport.
Negotiator expert William Ury suggests to address the underlying frame of trust, for example:

You: It’s not about trust, it’s about doing business the right way.
And doing business the right means that we put everything in writing

4. Bridge Leading™ (Control The Transition)

To manage the bridging from two different frame with the goal of maintaining the lead

Imagine this example:

You: Of course you will love him, all mothers love their children
Her: My mom didn’t love me <— She corrects you, a small power loss, and introduces a new heavy topic you can’t ignore

❌ You: I’m sorry to hear that <— You followed her thread, the next move is on her, and you the lead control

However, if you immediately move to her new frame list most men would, you lose some power and lose control of the interaction:

• ❌ Lead → Yield → Follow

Even worse would be to try to deny it: you escalate a frame battle you can’t win, and you break rapport.
Instead, here is how the smart power-aware man proceeds:

You: OK, all mothers except yours (smiles warmly) <— Power move / joke to control the transition
Her: Ahaha
You: Jokes aside, I’m sorry to hear that, what happened with your mother <— Stays in the lead

✅ Lead → Power Move → Lead Again

This man first manages to get a laugh, and then moves on to bond and connect with people.

5. Frame Matching

To match the delivery style of the speaker to avoid being overwhelmed

Matching and mirroring are often used referring to empathizing. That’s a valid and effective approach, but sometimes you must match the power delivery of the message-be it the conviction, aggression, or emotionality.

Many people automatically go on the defensive against yelling, crying, blaming, or emotional outbursts. That’s a mistake because in patterns of attack and defend, the attacker looks dominant and right, and the defender looks weak and wrong.

There are three options here:

1. Stick to logic when there is an audience and level-headedness wins (ie.: Jordan Peterson vs Cathy Newman)
2. Demand level-headedness as a precondition to talk with you, and walk if they don’t
3. Match their emotional level

Frame mirroring, or matching their exact accusation can work, but…
It can feel childish. And it’s a nasty manipulation tactic that gaslighters use. So only go for it if genuine, and it can help end on a draw.

🔎 Example: Fight Fire With Fire

Matching high-intensity deliveries based on conviction, emotions, and intensity, rather than merit, fairness, or logic

Example of emotions controlling the frame and forcing compliance:

Her: Hoooneeey, gooo! Do something! Harry! Hurry!

Her ‘covert frame™’ is ‘this is terrible’ and ‘it’s on you to act’. His frame is ‘this is amusing’ and ‘no action is needed’.
Her frame is not necessarily ‘right’, but since she injects so much emotion, he buckles and feels compelled to comply.

Also see:

• How women control relationships (and what to do about it)

7. Engagement Frame Control™

Engagement Frame Control™ is TPM’s frame control term and application of the strategy of choosing the terms of engagement and the contest arena that best suit your strengths or preferences

This technique allows you to stay assertive even while you refuse to escalate. Use it to address possible fears of physical escalation.
For example:

Attacker: What are you gonna do about it, let’s step outside <— Covert frame 🟰 you solve this dispute with a physical altercation

You: (not afraid) What are you talking about, <— Rejects terms of engagement
this is a silent coach, and respecting others means not being loud <— Makes it general rules of respect
for phone calls people can step outside. If you’d be so kind to do that, I’m sure everyone here would appreciate <— Maintains his assertive expectation

Steps:

1. Reject their rules of confrontation <— You can do it with ignoring and speaking from your frame
2. Set your own
3. Fight on your terms, or disengage

📺 A funny example from a TV show

8. Philosopher’s Frame™ (Go Broader)

Philosopher’s Frame™ is TPM’s term for applying the rhetorical move of going broader to disagree or undermine an argument or speaker, while remaining unassailable by linking to general principles and truths.

You can use it for many purposes. For example, remain noncommittal without conceding, disagreeing without engaging, withholding personal information, or to keep speaking from your frame.

For example:

Conservative: This country belongs to us, we must have more rights and secure our borders

You: I get you. <— Empathic bridge to maintain rapport
People have been defending their borders since time immemorial. <— Concession for ‘frame negotiation’
But people have also been moving for millions of years before ever-shifting artificial borders ever existed.
Go back far enough, and humans belong to Earth <— Take a more liberal stance, but it’s with high-order general principles that it can hardly be disproven

Or on the opposite side of the political spectrum:

Liberal: If people complain that immigrants are stealing their jobs it means they’re really sh*t at their jobs

You: Well, on one hand you’re right. If you’re a highly skilled maverick, yes.
Employers also gain from more labor competition.
But not everyone can be a genius <— Slight power move implying he’s covertly bragging
And local laborers suffer when competition drives wages down. <— General principles of supply and demand, it’s hard to refute.

In this second example, you make them look unsympathetic and out of touch with the working class. That effectively undermines both argument and speaker. But your frame based on general principles is unassailable.

9. Frame Shaming™ (Take Moral High Ground)

Frame Shaming is TPM’s term for the known tactic of ‘taking moral high ground’. It’s using superior or superior-looking moral framing to gain power through ethical legitimacy and shame the other party as ‘morally inferior’.

A moral or honorable frame can sub-communicate that others who disagree or behave differently are lower-quality, without even having to say it.

In this example, he uses ‘high power vulnerability’ to shame her for ‘playing the field’:

Her: You know, they have sex and after they feel nothing

Him: (corrugates his eyebrow in disapproval) But you’re not like that <— Implies it’s trashy, gives her a chance

Her: Aren’t you?

Him: Not a drop. Not even half a drop <— Holds his frame with full conviction, and shames her

Her: Wow. <— Impressed and ashamed, but not giving up just yet
What’s wrong with you <— Tries to shame him back

Him: I get it… You’ve never been in love <— Holds his frame with high power vulnerability

He wins because a) society supports his frame, and b) he traps her into a masculine/player role that’s often negative for women.

In Power University dig deeper on how you can use it for dating and LMR, for example when she says:

Her: you only want sex

Frame Surfacing™

To ‘surface’ a covert power move™ to fully display the nastiness of an attack

After you surface a covert attack, the attacker automatically looks nasty and vile. You can then thread-expand on it to inflict maximum social loss, or you can assertively demand to be more respectful.

Example:

Attacker: Oh good to see Max tonight. We should make those free drinks more often <— Covert power move. Uses a joke to indirectly imply you’re a scrounger only coming out when things are free

You: What do you mean by that <— Forces him explain and ‘come out from his joke-cover’

Keep asking until you surface the power move. You can prod to ‘be upfront’ and ‘show their hand’.
If they deny, they look weak. After several denials, you can address the power move openly and you will look both more dominant and more honorable.

10. Frame Imposing™

Frame Imposing™ is TPM’s term for a deliberate choice to hold your frame as the only possible option and refuse to yield , even at the cost of friction.

For example:

And little later she agreed to meet, and sent flying kisses

Frame imposing is crucial, and in Power University we share how to do it appropriately.

Frame Negotiation

Frame Negotiation is TPM’s term for collaboratively negotiating frames to maintain rapport, bond and connect, and increase influence and follow-through

It’s crucial to talk about negotiation right after imposing because negotiation is often the most effective approach to influence and achieve goals.
And negotiations are often the default in real-life, and the most skilled men use frame negotiation as their default mode for frame control.

It includes techniques such as finding commonalities, agreeing and redirecting, empathizing, and validating.

Importatnly, begotiation doesn’t necessarily mean being ‘nice’.
For example, in this case study Steve Harvey is dominant, yet eventually open to power-negotiate:

Ariana: You keep making mistakes <— Uncalibrated, awkward attack
it’s not Arihana, it’s Ariana (laughs)

Steve: (doesn’t laugh, doesn’t defend) See, once again, let me show you something now. <—- doesn’t defend or attack back, speaks from his frame with a high power teacher frame
Listen to me…

(…)

Ariana: OK, I apologize <— She backtracks

Steve: Nono, I’m the one who got to apologize <— After he re-empowered himself and she apologizes, he is magnanimous and does the same 🦅

If Harvey laughed he’d submit, validate the attack, and relinquish host leadership.
He does explain the mispronunciation, but on his terms and in full control of the exchange. True “alpha male” style.

⚠️High Power Amplification™

To agree and amplify frames that empower you

This is an important upgrade of “Agree and Amplify”, one of the most popular frame control technique in the PUA literature.
Agree and amplify is a legit tecnique and can work great, but agree and amplify can backfire if you amplify negative frames. Even in jest, negative frames can disempower you.
See an example:

Learn More With Power University

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PU Alumnus: if you write a book about frame control, you might become rich

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And it works:

PU Alumnus: The lesson on frame control opened my mind (…) I can come up with frame control techniques on the fly

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