Last minute resistance can be the most frustrating stage of a seduction.
You spent time together, you’re finally alone with her, you’re getting horny… But dang!
You meet last minute resistances.
And now it’s either the final prize, or blue-balled frustration.
This article will teach you how to overcome last minute resistance, so that both of you can enjoy and consume the love.
Last Minute Resistance Definition
First off, let’s start with a definition:
Last-minute resistances (LMR) are tactics, strategies, or inborn and involuntary responses with which women delay or postpone sex once a man starts escalating towards sex.
And now, let’s learn why last minute resistance happens:
- Why Do LMR Even Happen?
- LMR: An Overview
- LMR Power Dynamics
- 1. Prevent LMRs
- 2. Adopt the Right Mindset: You Two, In It Together
- 3. Make It A Good Time, More Than Just Sex
- 4. Steal Her Frame: Say “No Sex” First
- 5. Gauge Buying Temperature (& Strike When Hot)
- 6. Take The Shortest Possible Road to Sex
- 7. Out Anger & Frustration, In The Seducer
- 8. Bull Approach: Blow Past Them
- 9. Invite Her to Leave
- 10. Small Tips For Big Impact
- 11. Avoid These Bad PUA Advices
- Surprisingly Great LMR Signs
- “No Means… What”?
Why Do LMR Even Happen?
Why do LMR happen?
Test yourself, and pick what you think applies:
- She is shit-testing the man to assess his character and/or will
- He hasn’t timed his escalation well
- She might like him, but is not fully sold on taking it to the next level
- She is emotional or nervous
- She is making him wait to seem more “serious” and Madonna-like
- She still needs some more time and comfort before sex
If you answered “it can be all”, congratulations, you’re a high mating intelligence man.
Albeit LMR and sexual rejections can be a form of shit-test, in my opinion, that’s the least common and has the smallest effect.
A woman who decides to be in a sex location with you has probably done most of her testing already -or, if she sees you as a really high-value man, she won’t need even need any testing at all-.
But overall, focus less on the “why” and more on the “how” -how to avoid LMR, and how to deal with LMR-.
LMR: An Overview
See LMR this way:
Last minute resistances are a common stage of the seduction process, and no big deal… As long as she’s not playing nasty games, and as long they’re within a certain time range.
See this chart for a quick overview:
90% of LMR are between 5 minutes to 45 minutes from the first time you make a sexual move, to the time you finally enter her.
From 0 to 5 minutes we’re mostly dealing with “token resistance”. Token resistance are “feeble and low-intensity LMR, mostly verbal, that are easily overcome”.
With token resistance, we are in the realm of the “no means yes”, and she will actually be (very) disappointed if you stop.
Let’s further break down the times:
>30 Mins: Too Long
There are multiple problems with too long LMRs:
- The frame is that the attraction isn’t too strong
- The frame is that she’s not too sold on him
- Sex might not happen because of external constraints (tired, sleepy, or other committments)
- Attraction can wane after a long time with lots of smoke and no cigar
That last one isn’t just for women, but also for many men.
Long LMRs can be a turn-off since they sub-communicate lack of chemistry and possible game-playing.
This is why I also recommend women to be careful with postponing sex when they like the man.
What Causes “Bad” LMRs
When LMRs are overly long and challenging, there is usually some underlying issue.
Among the possible issues:
- You might have started escalating too early
- There is something wrong with the sexual escalation (too serious, too aggressive, too tentative, etc.)
- Attraction was lacking (not always your fault and no biggies, good you went for it)
- Rapport, or comfort are lacking (if she says “I don’t know you”, that’s the issue)
- She doesn’t feel safe (keep on reading)
- She doesn’t recognize and accept your leadership and power over her
- She’s a bad game player who wants to see you chase
Of course, not every single long LMR is “bad” or the symptom of some seduction-related issue.
Among the issues that are not “your” issues or mistakes:
- She is uncomfortable with physical contact, intimacy, or “being naked”
- She’s virgin and wants to keep her virginity
- She is adamant to keep her partner count low
- She has a boyfriend and wants to remain loyal
- She really likes you and is afraid of “ruining things”
- She has a circumstance-specific hang up (some women are comfortable with sex, but uncomfortable when on their period)
15 to 30 mins: OK
Between 15 to 30 minutes is a common duration for LMRs and, at least time-wise, not a major issue.
0.x to 15 mins: Great
This is the optimal range.
Sometimes a few minutes of LMR are better than no LMR at all, since:
- You moved at a healthy pace: rather than overdoing comfort or going the “boyfriend first, sex later” way
- She is trying to send quality signals: if she cares about you, she might use light resistance to be seen as a “relationship-worthy” woman
- She is accepting your leadership: by not overdoing the resistance, she also sub-communicates that she wants you and accepts your leadership
Since 0.x to 15 is ideal, you want to start escalating as soon as you think she might be ready.
0 LMR: Great. As Long As…
No LMR at all is generally good news.
Passion and great sexual chemistry, as well as whirlwind romance, often have no LMR at all.
However, we need to add a few important exceptions:
When 0 LMR Is A Bad Sign
- Was the “move” too late?
No LMR can mean that you moved late, and she was thinking “when the hell was he gonna make a move”.
And while in a way that might be perfect timing as she was just starting to be afraid you didn’t like her enough, it’s also a strategic mistake, since just a little bit later, and it might have been too late (it’s usually more effective to give yourself some wiggle room).
Going too slow could mean that she might reject you as both a lover and boyfriend candidate, or write you off as sexually non-interested/interesting.
- Does she care at all about him?
Remember the reasons we listed for LMR?
Remember that some women use LMR to showcase their quality, while some other women get nervous when they really like the guy.
What does that tell us?
It tells us that some women sleep quickly with a guy when she doesn’t care much about him and/or doesn’t want him as a boyfriend.
Of course, this doesn’t concern you if you simply seek sex.
As a matter of fact, in those cases, if you can come across as sexy and attractive, it can be a good strategy to lower your long-term value so that you can become more of a short-term sex thing.
- Does she date like a man?
Some women show no LMRs because they approach sex with more of a male attitude.
An example is Samantha from the show “Sex and the City”:
Samantha: You have two choices: you can bang your head against the wall and try and find a relationship or you can say “screw it,” and just go out and have sex like a man (and she chose the latter)
Albeit the example above is from a TV series the “type” of woman who sleeps around like a man is real (but rare).
- Is she a notch-collector?
A yet smaller subset of women who sleep like men are even proud of sleeping around easily and quickly.
The author has met a few of these women.
This phenomenon is sometimes connected to groupies, seeking supposedly “challenging targets” to sleep with, and it’s more common with celebrities.
Often, notch-collectors are not the most attractive and the pride is a cover-up for a forced sexual choice. A few rare birds exceptions might apply.
- Were you dating as a “friend first”, or “boyfriend first”?
Some guys dating coaches link the lover role to the lack of LMRs.
And in many ways, that’s true.
Zero LMR is the realm of the attractive lover who isn’t even being considered for anything long-term.
But it’s also the realm of the long-time friend (especially the attractive friend), and the slower-moving provider.
Because with lots of pre-sex investment, the slower-moving provider has “earned” his sex, and he has (voluntary) waited already. So she doesn’t need LMRs to “defend her honor” (or to pretend she has an honor to defend :).
Furthermore, since she knows both the friend and the provider well, she is less nervous as she has already thought about the sex, and decided for the “yes”.
<0: When She Escalates – Either Great or Bad
And what if she starts the escalation?
That’s great… In some ways and if it’s a strategic choice.
Some women can get very forward when the man is highly in demand, with groupies and rockstars being the most stereotypical example:
What leads women to being sexually forward includes:
- He is famous
- He is high social proof
- He is highly pre-selected by other women
- He is very attractive / very high SMV
- She thinks or knows she might never see him again: now is her chance to pounce
However, for many more situations, having the woman make the move can actually be a bad sign.
It can mean that you’re not leading the sexual interaction.
And unless it’s a strategic choice you’re doing, that’s usually not a good idea.
Watch Out for Fake Female Escalation
In some cases, some women will move from resistance, to active escalation.
Unless you were playing coy from the beginning, don’t fall for it: it’s a fool’s trap.
Read more in “Seduction University”.
LMR Power Dynamics
The sooner to sex, the better
Here’s the issue with LMR:
From a power dynamics perspective, last-minute resistance empowers the woman and disempowers the man.
Because the basic dynamics of lat minute resistances is that he’s chasing for sex, while she’s denying him.
He wants her, and is fruitlessly expending efforts while failing to reach his goal -the definition of powerlessness-.
She, on the other hand, is the object of desire. Even if she agrees to sex later, she has been controlling the interaction, and its tempo.
And that gives her power.
At the extreme, men who aren’t good at understanding and controlling this dynamic, become puppets on a string -her string-.
And what’s the problem with that?
The problem is that women don’t like men who are “less” than they are (see “hypergamy“).
And especially not men who are less powerful than they are.
And chasing and expending effort on a fruitless pursuit where she controls all the cards is the epitome of powerlessness.
That’s why the rule of thumb is “sooner is better”.
Because the longer the last minute resistance, the more challenging it is for him to maintain control and power -and her attraction-.
Pursuing Sex Without Losing Power
Luckily, there are ways around the LMR power conundrum.
And there are even ways to deal with LMR while gaining power and attraction.
This is how:
1. Prevent LMRs
There are several ways to prevent last minute resistance.
Some of them:
- Make her so horny that she’ll jump on you, rather than the other way around (women should do more often as many men like that)
- Develop rapport, so that sex feels “natural”, as part of the larger connection between you two
- Make her feel safe, so that you remove fear-based LMRS. Safety is so important that you also want to verbalize it. Read Dating Power Dynamics or Seduction University for more
- Frame sex with you as her win: there are many ways to do it. One is “sexual prizing”, by framing yourself as a great lover; another one is framing sex as the chance of spending more time with you in the future
- Slow down While I’m not necessarily recommending everyone to slow down, if LMR are a common issue for you, then it’s possible you might be jumping the gun
However, remember this:
The goal is to avoid endless and problematic last-minute resistances, but the goal is not to avoid LMR altogether, at all costs.
2. Adopt the Right Mindset: You Two, In It Together
Some guys have this bad mindset:
I need to beat her LMR.
And when you have that mindset, what happens?
You’re in a competitive, “you VS her” mindset.
And competitive mindsets tend to spoil relationships and move people away from win-win, seduction, and sex.
As a rule of thumb, good lovers -and social strategists in general- avoid competitive frames as much as possible and seek instead collaborative frames (see “foundational approaches to power“).
For LMR, collaborative approaches and mindsets looks more like this:
- “Deep down, we both want this”
- “I like you and you like me, so we’ll play the game now, and eventually get there”
- “We’re in it together, and you also must do your part to make it pleasant and seduce me”
The last one is my favorite mindset approach to LMR.
It’s a give-and-take approach, and very power-effective. If she doesn’t do her part, she’s not a value-giver, and it’s fair for you to assertively demand better behavior or, if all fails, invite her to leave.
2.2. Turn Competition into Cooperation
A few women will joke or frame the sexual push-pull as if it were a competition or, worst, a struggle.
Don’t fall for it: you must reject the struggle frame and, ideally, reframe it into win-win.
Her: I’ll whoop your ass if you keep pushing
You: (disappointed expression) What are you talking about, I want you to be happy
Her: If you keep pushing, I’ll scream / leave
You: Wow, wow, what do you mean by that, there is nothing to scream here. You’re totally safe here. If there needs to be any screaming, I want you to do it for pleasure
3. Make It A Good Time, More Than Just Sex
When is it that LMR are most damaging?
When the frame is you chasing sex, and her denying you.
That’s a terrible dynamic because it sometimes creates a (terrible) frame that wasn’t even there before the LMR: the frame of you wanting her, and she not wanting you.
When that happens, all the previous good vibes can go down the drain.
So, how to avoid that disempowering “I want you, but you reject me” frame?
An effective way, again, is with prevention, and making the interaction more than just escalation and sex.
So out are un-interrupted, drawn-out battles over every single piece of cloth, and in are longer breaks, chiller vibe, opening up about yourself, etc.
When sex is only one part of a bigger, pleasant interaction, even longer LMR won’t spoil the interaction.
Here’s an example:
- She doesn’t want to move to the bed
- You make nothing out of it, sit next to her, and say “have you ever tried shisha”?
- Pull the shisha out
- Smoke together, kiss her neck, make out a bit
- Pause a second, as if to savor the moment
- Slowly get up again, and move her to the bed
- On the bed, she doesn’t want to remove her pants
- You say “you know what’s funny?”
- Open a new topic (something personal, or with a sexual undertone)
- Slowly start dry humping
- Then go to remove the pants
Every time you take a break after you hit an escalation snag, you break the frame of “you chasing / she denying”.
As a matter of fact, you create a powerful vacuum with “you not chasing anymore”.
If you do it well, the interaction isn’t anymore about you escalating, and she slowing you down. It’s about two people enjoying their presence, and slowly moving towards more and more intimacy, culminating with physical intimacy.
4. Steal Her Frame: Say “No Sex” First
You’ve heard this a few times:
Woman: we’re not going to have sex tonight
It might not be exactly those words, but the “pre-emptive LMR strike” is quite common, and it can be a tricky frame.
If you say you will have sex, you jump right into the frame of “you want her, she rejects you” (and you might end up with a very lose-lose escalation). And if you say “true”, then you’re following and buying into her frame.
A good solution is to prevent it.
You: we’re just going back for a minute to show you the wine collection, I need to wake up early tomorrow
That’s pre-empetive, and it’s a good move even independently of LMR, just to take the pressure off on your invite home.
For example, I often add “yeah, it’s just right here, for 5 minutes”.
Or a bit cheesier:
You: (as you invite her home) But don’t make yourself any idea, we’re just hanging out
Not personally my style, but can work if your style is more humorous and teasing (but keep in mind his approach might be less effective for more mentally mature or higher quality women, who can find it childish).
If you forgot to do steal her thunder or if it’s not your style, you can stil turn it around if it crops up:
Her: We’re not having sex / I’m not ready for this
You: Who said anything about sex, we’re just cuddling / Ready for what, what were you even thinking, we just cuddle
4.2. Shush Her, Keep On Going
If you’re well on your way and she’s into it, the “we shouldn’t be doing this” is token resistance.
Hush her and keep on going.
This is very seductively high power, as it communicates that you know what’s going on, that you’re not letting yourself be swayed with crappy nonsense, and that you’re focused on the moment now, and want her to be the same.
5. Gauge Buying Temperature (& Strike When Hot)
As we’ve seen, last minute resistances can become an issue if you escalate way too early.
So it’s a good idea to only start escalating when you’re getting close to the “I’m ready point”.
But how do you know when it’s too early, or when she is “ready enough” to start escalating?
Here are a few ways:
- Increase “kino”, see how she reacts
“Kino” stands for ” kinesthetic”, or simply “touching”.
Start first from lighter touching, including “accidental” touch, then leave your hand on her arm or back as you speak, and see how she reacts.
If she pulls away or is uncomfortable, bad sign.
If she appreciates, good sign.
Hand-holding is a bigger step, and a bigger risk, so keep it only for situations where you feel the chemistry is very high.
But if it is, then the hand-holding is a great sign that you two are going great (pro tip: from simple hand-holding, go to interlacing fingers, which is a symbolic precursor to sexual union).
- Take baby steps
The bigger the move, the bigger the effects of a rejection.
So make smaller moves.
A guy I know has a shisha that he uses both as a lure to invite girls home, and as prop to make his first move in baby steps.
He starts with blowing shisha smoke from mouth to mouth with his hand first, then removes the hand and goes for the mouth to mouth smoke, then makes out, and then takes it from there.
- Make the move in safe environment
Sometimes, the initial rejection only happens because she’s afraid.
But that rejection still starts the negative frame of you pursuing, and she rejecting.
So what’s a solution?
If she’s warm enough, start your escalation in a safer enviornment.
For example, if you got an elevator, use it.
And no, I don’t mean to skimp on physical exercise, but “use it” to make your first move.
Already while going up to your place, lean in and kiss her on the neck.
That will also tell you a lot on where you stand, and help you adjust your escalation plan.
If she says “are you crazy”, you got either a lot of work to do with her, or if you got lot of work to do and don’t want to work on her, you can send her home.
If she accepts it, you can often start escalating as soon as you’re home, no LMR.
If she resists a little bit, make her a bit comfortable before you start escalating for real.
I love this move, and do it often.
5.2. Don’t Kiss Her!
Personally, i’m not a big fan of going for kisses on the mouth.
I’m not against it either, but the way many guys do it, it’s not optimal.
The kiss on the mouth feels like a “big move”, and that increases the chance of getting a first rejection, which is bad for power dynamics, and which in turn leads to more LMRs.
What to do, then?
Kiss her on the neck!
Feels like a “smaller” move, allows you to better gauge her reaction, and has higher chances of being accepted.
Also, if you’re moving quick and/or going for the lover strategy, you don’t need to kiss at all to get to sex.
Kissing is romantic, and sex does not necessarily require romance.
Of the last 30 or women I’ve been with, we probably did not kiss 80% of the times.
6. Take The Shortest Possible Road to Sex
Much LMR are all about “removing clothes”.
But… Is it even necessary?
You don’t need to be fully naked to start having sex.
At the time of writing, my last two pulls home was a girl I met at a Meetup event, and a girl I talked for no more than 10 minutes at a mall (note: I started this article a year before I published as I sometimes take notes on future articles).
Both led to sex with quite some LMRs before it.
The first girl was still wearing her dress and panties when we started having sex.
The second was still wearing her dress, denim jacket, panties, shorts, and even her menstrual pad.
If I had to remove all those pieces of clothing before getting to it, not only it would have taken a very long time but, I doubt sex was even going to happen.
6.2. Finger Her (With Her Clothes On)
How did I get to it, instead?
I started fingering them first.
Once she’s wet and ready to go, it doens’t matter what else she’s wearing.
7. Out Anger & Frustration, In The Seducer
Some resistance whet the appetiteCasanova, History of My Life
What is it that screws a lot of guys over during LMR?
They get angry, frustrated, or, worst of all, borderline aggressive.
It’s OK to lose attraction for a woman who is not very sexually receptive, but frustration is something you want to avoid or minimize as much as possible.
Especially if you want to have sex.
Frustration screams “danger” to a woman.
But it’s also an indicator of low-value for her: women want men who are “superior” to them, and won’t get too affected by her.
Let’s see how to avoid anger and frustration:
7.2. Cat & Mouse Mindset
Picture sexual escalation like a game of cat and mouse between you two.
And you’re both playing it.
That’s more of a seducer’s mindset.
7.3. Keep It Light & Fun
A favorite of mine.
This is so good that I almost didn’t wanna share it:
Me: (takes her hand, places it on his penis) do you think it’s too big?
This works in a number of ways: as a (sort of) joke, as a push-pull, to get her sexually excited… And to positively change the frame.
The “hand on your dick” and asking her if it’s too big changes the frame from “should I have sex” to “is too big / will I enjoy it”.
You can turn it into a recurring frame, asking later if she still thinks it’s too big or if she can take it.
7.4. Be Empathetic
In some cases, a woman can have real issues, reservations, or hang ups about sex.
Failing to listen, empathize, and address them spoils the relationship and derails the seduction.
A good empathetic response is to say something along the lines of:
Her: Wait, this is too fast
You: It’s all good, we will go as fast as we are comfortable with
Notice you say “we are” rather than “you are”, as it reinforces the collaborative and “we” frame, and it doesn’t sound like you’re waiting for her.
Obviously, I don’t recommend this approach if you’re almost inside, in which case the above LMR is more likely to be token resistance. And you don’t want to go back to square 1 when you’re at square 99.
7.5. Drop the “Must”
Who gets frustrated with LMRs?
It’s the guy who feels like he “has to” sleep with her.
Those are notch-collector types of players, and men who feel like they desperately need the woman as a girlfriend.
Abundance mentality is a better approach.
Plus these mindsets to dating in general:
- You only want a girlfriend if she’s a great woman plus a great fit for you
- Dating for you is a way to assess women. LMRs are just another opportunity for assessing her
These mindsets are perfect for those who are dating more of a long-term goal.
8. Bull Approach: Blow Past Them
One video is worth a thousand words:
A BIG warning here: this is high rewards, but also high risk.
It requires being able to read the attraction and lust behind the fear.
8.2. Mix Hard Escalation With Softness
A bit more advanced, but super powerful.
You want to mix “hard pushes” with sweeter, mellow, romantic, and even silly and fun moments.
This is great because it mixes sexually dominant behavior, which is attractive but high risk of spoiling the relationship, with a romantic and carefree vibe that takes the edge off.
See the effect on this message:
9. Invite Her to Leave
Yes, this is also a fair and sometimes appropriate way of dealing with LMR.
There are three bad LMR approaches that call for walking her out:
- The power trip LMRs, when she uses LMRs as a tool for power. At the extreme, she relishes the man wanting, “needing” and pleading for sex (don’t ever do that last one)
- The overly-gamey LMRs, where she uses her sexual leverage to get something from you (ie.: “will you do this if we do”, “say this and then maybe we’ll do it”, etc.)
- The jaded LMRs, when there is zero chemistry, she’s frigid or emotionally distant, or if she’s sexually and emotionally jaded after thousands of rodeos
- The bad seductress LMR, with women clueless of the ars amataria, who instead of turning men on, turn them off
In these four cases, you can decide to go for sex anyway, but then “de-prioritize her” and possibly never contact her again, or send her packing right away and save your time.
Of course, how much you find her attractive also plays into it. But it’s usually a good mindset not to plow too much time and effort on value-takers and overly gamey women.
Inviting Her Out Increases Attraction…
… But don’t count on capitalizing on that attraction!
The ultimate irony of inviting her out is that the moment you escort her out might be the moment she wants you the most.
Because that’s when realizes that she might have underestimated him and that she’s losing a high-value man who isn’t going to pine after her.
So it’s possible she’ll change her mind and turn around.
It’s possible but unlikely.
Because the turnaround requires an excess of either strength, or desperation.
Turning around disempowers her, makes her lose face, and turns her into the sexual aggressor.
So it’s emotionally very difficult for a woman to turn around. It requires inner strength, and an antifragile ego.
Most women don’t have that.
So they’ll instead slink away in the dark, trying to forget the heartache, and dislike the man for making them feel bad (cognitive dissonance, Festinger, 1957).
10. Small Tips For Big Impact
- Stop yourself before she stops you
From a power dynamics perspective the more she stops you, the worse it looks for you.
So if you prevent it by stopping yourself, the rejection never happened.
- Start with the pants
Most guys go from top to bottom, but that adds a lot of non-necessary steps.
- Take off pants and panties at the same time
She might hold the panties, but it’s worth a try and you might be surprised how many times you can remove them at the same time.
- Let her touch you
Don’t do all the work, take her hand and place it on you.
- Put her hand on your dick
So simple, so natural. I’m surprised someone might consider this one a more “risky” or “advanced” technique.
- Dry-hump her:
Start moving as if you were having sex, while still wearing clothes. One of my favorite moves and a great precursor to fingering
- Talk about children
I do it often, instead, and with great effect.
11. Avoid These Bad PUA Advices
Some advice to be wary of:
- Getting undressed while she’s dressed
Some guides recommend that the man takes his clothes off first.
Sometimes, if timely and if she’s the type of woman who will get excited, it’s a good move.
Yet, I’d be careful with getting naked while she’s still fully dressed. That looks “weird”, and sub-communicates you “don’t get it” (=socially clueless).
Also, from a power dynamics perspective, it frames you as the one who craves sex while she doesn’t. So it maeks you lose some status and power, which is never good for seduction.
So, yeah, no “naked man” move guys:
- Whipping your dick out
Similar as above.
Great move, if it’s timely.
But if you do it too early, it can easily backfire.
The untimely “whip out” followed by a “whisk back” dangerously resembles the exhibitionist flashing, with the priority on “being looked at”, rather than seducing. Avoid that: exhibitionism is anti-seductive.
- Agreeing with her, but keeping with the escalation
Some dating coaches advise to agree with her verbal LMR such as “we shouldn’t do this”, while you actually keep escalating.
I’m not a big fan of this approach, since it invites further verbal discussion, and spoils the mood.
Furthermore, if she was serious, it communicate you don’t get it.
If you’re early on in the escalation process, I suggest instead you reply “we’re just going to cuddle” or “we’re just laying in bed”.
And if you’re late in the escalation process, and she’s getting into it, just cut out with the verbal nonsense (see above the “shush and continue”).
- Freezing her out
This is an old PUA technique.
This is an example:
The idea behind the freeze out is OK: you don’t want to keep over-chasing and reward with attention a woman who is spurning you.
But the way the freeze out was espoused, including “getting up and checking your email”, was not optimal becuase:
1. It can break rapport and deplete a lot of social capital
2. It can start a vicious cycle of “who shows the least affection”. If the woman is high in power and not very invested, she’d rather lose you, than lose her face
3. Can signal low value: high-value, driven men wouldn’t dilly-dally with low-prio stuff when they could invite her out and take care of higher-prio stuff
Read more here.
That being said, you can still do “micro-freeze outs”, removing your attention a bit when she is being too catty (and that can be applied to more than just LMR).
Surprisingly Great LMR Signs
Knowing how to read the social and power dynamics is crucial to handling LMR well.
And there are some clear behaviors during LMRs that signals that you’re dealing with token resistance, that the LMRs are about to end, or that she really just wants to be seduced.
Reading those signs allows you to calibrate your escalation, and to potentially think about the “bold move”, where you basically plow through it (again: high risk).
Some of those signs:
- She starts acting silly
Many women who get nervous before sex can start acting “silly”, or talk nonsense.
Remember that sex can be a big deal for many women, so silliness is normal.
Several women I’ve dated around the world start speaking their local language even though they knew I couldn’t understand.
Usually, that’s a great sign: it’s pure emotions now, she’s not engaging her rational brain much, and she’s relinquising leadership to you -people who want to maintain control don’t usual act silly-.
- She asks to visit the bathroom
She decided that it’s going to happen, and wants to refresh herself.
What exactly most women do once in the bathroom is one of the last-standing great mysteries to me, and I want to keep it that way :).
Some women will also ask you to take a shower before sex -I’ll never forget the woman who brought along of intimate cleanser, and put some of it on “me”-.
- She asks if you want to have sex with her
This one often stumps Western men.
Because white women don’t usually approach intimacy with direct questions, and are more indirect and, often, more “gamey”.
However, when you get asked that, it’s often a good sign that you’re getting close.
Don’t be afraid of saying “yes”, but if you want to keep more power and be even more on the sife side, say something like this:
I had a good time with you, and I think we have a good chemistry together, so yes, intimacy is a natural next step.
“No Means… What”?
You know the mantra:
“no means no”.
We’re not going into that whole debate now as it’s all pointless and a waste of time.
Obviously, as we’ve seen, “no sometimes means no”, so you must pay attention to what she says, and take the whole exchange seriously.
And some other times a woman says “no” but is either open, willing, or even glad to be convinced or overcome.
And some other times, “no” is just token resistance and she’d be really disappointed if you take it at face value.
Telling apart which from which requires emotional intelligence -the mating intelligence subset-.
To improve that, start with basic emotional intelligence first, then social skills, power dynamics, and then check out Seduction University.