After Carol Dweck’s “Mindset” the “growth mindset” has become a popular concept in self-development.

And for good reasons: it’s fundamental to personal growth and, together with the antifragile ego, to mental empowerment.

We generally support and encourage a growth mindset here.

HOWEVER…

You still need balance and calibration to maintain status and influence:

And when public displays of a growth mindset clash with power principles, then a growth mindset is disempowering and harming you.

Generally speaking, the growth-seeking learner is low power and low value, while the self-assured and power-seeking teacher is high power and high value.

Let’s dig deeper:

Growth Mindset Power Dynamics

Anyone seeking self-development should want to become an expert at something.

You’re not expected to be an expert at everything, and neither should you act like one.

However, you do want to get good at something.

And, from a power dynamics point of view, to fully reap the rewards your expertise you must think, act, and publicly portray yourself as an expert and an authority.

As Machiavelli said, things are what they look like.
So no reputation, no authority, no influence, and no rewards.

Now the issue is that “learner” sometimes stands in contrast to “expert”, and an eternal and constant learner attitude undermines your credibility as an expert.

Yes, it may be true that if you identify as a “learner”, in the long run, you may gain more expertise.

But one, that’s very long term.
And remember that in the long term we’re all dead, so a focus on the short-term sometimes makes sense-.

And two, don’t be naive.
Unless you can reap the rewards of your expertise, your expertise won’t even matter. Neither to you, nor the world.

When you adopt an extreme, “always-on” growth mindset and approach every person, situation and criticism as if you need to learn more, you lose out.
A reputation of a learner without enough reputation for an expert devalues you.

You lose authority, status, money, and networking opportunities. And you come across as lower value because ‘learner’ overlaps with “beginner”.
And beginners are lower value than experts.

It’s Not Just Cognitive Bias: Experts Have Less To Gain With Extreme Growth Mindset

Some posit that a fixed mindset is a self-harming defense mechanism.

As it’s often the case, evolution is not (completely) stupid, and if many people defend their expertise, there is often a good reason.
One reason is, of course, public reputation and power.

And the other reason is that, for experts… It does make sense to have and display less of a growth mindset.

Just think about it: when you’re new and fresh, everything is an opportunity for learning.
So, as a beginner, an extreme and “always on” growth mindset truly reflects your reality.

But that’s not the case anymore for experts.
Experts can’t always learn nearly as much because they already analyzed and learned from the most common situations.
And experts can’t learn from just about any average Joe because they’re far more advanced than the average Joe.

Most experts’ learning happens pushing the limits of what’s most readily accessible or “ordinary”. It more rarely, and with fewer people.

So the higher you go, the more you want to be selective of the people and resources you can learn from.

And, relevant to us, experts rarely learn while going about their life or while being interviewed by non-experts, chatting on a podcast, or on most public appearances.
So, in those circumstances, an extreme growth mindset is counterproductive and disempowering.

Learners Are Victims of Teacher’s Frames & Power Moves

An extreme growth mindset overlaps with naivete and can cost you.

It can cost in poorer learning, rather than better learning.
Similar to open-mindedness, an extreme growth mindset opens you up to all kinds of BS -and to all kinds of bullshitters-.

And, similar to vulnerability, it can cost you in your social and professional life as well.
For example, an extreme growth mindset would never push back against criticism because ‘criticism = learning opportunity’.

But the criticism sometimes is wrong -and the better you become, the more likely it is to be wrong-.
And sometimes the criticism is a power move.

Growth Mindset Power Moves

As the growth mindset spreads, so does its use for Machiavellian, selfish, and value-taking purposes.

For example:

• Employer manipulation.
  The more they can pay with “learning”, the less they will pay with actual money. Plus, they can ask you to do more than your job description because ‘you’re learning’. (Thanks to Bel for this)
• PR stunt, to look open-minded, “better” and more honest
• A cover for personal attacks, or to avoid owning up and apologizing-. With the “growth mindset” cover, people are never wrong or mean because it’s you who need to develop a growth mindset. If you defend you get labeled a “fixed mindset” (see “covert power moves“)
• Social exchange manipulation, as in “I’m giving you feedback and criticism that will help you improve, so you owe me”.
  P.S.: avoid saying things such as “learn this and thank me later”
• A cover to social climb on you (teacher/pupil frame): so they self-frame as “teachers”, and you become the “student” (of theirs).
• Trap to lower your defenses. Then you’re complimenting them, maybe take a step back… And then they take your feedback apart to show why you’re wrong
• An excuse to be mean, as in “we give each other raw feedback here because we all have a growth mindset, and if you can’t take it, it’s your fault for not having growth mindset”

Since “teaching others” or pushing a growth mindset on them can be a disempowering -and annoying- power move, we advise caution in doing so.
Unless they made it clear they accept you as an authority to learn from, refrain from self-framing yourself as a teacher to others.

Learners Are Lower Value Than Teachers

One simple fact proves that learners are lower power:

Teachers get salaries, learners get nothing -or must pay-.

That already tells you a low about who’s higher value between the two.

Top teachers are experts, and if they’re experts in any in-demand skill or field, they can get a lot of money, plus status, influence, admiration, and even attraction.
Learners and beginners get little of that.

Your Confidence Around “How Much You Know” Determines Your Authority…

… And your attitude around “what you need to learn” as well, of course.

Relevant to us and to your public attitude, experts are associated with high confidence, including high confidence in knowing what they know.
Plus, sometimes, also an air of “been there, done that”.

Learners are associated with lower confidence, higher curiosity, and with more doubts and tentativeness in their knowledge and expertise.
And we know here that low confidence and tentativeness equal low power and low influence.

That’s why, sometimes, simply acting like a learner frames you as a lower-value beginner.
That’s fine if you are a beginner, because you grow quicker.
But it’s a lot less OK if you’re not a beginner.

When dealing with others, that means that when you take a learner’s role to others teach you, you lose power to them.
That teacher isn’t also just getting power, but he’s getting power over you.
You disempower yourself, to empower that teacher -it’s a lose-win, a sucker’s trade-.

If you’re competing with them -say, in the same company- you’ll never get promoted.

Unluckily, people often know little about your level or expertise.
And they will judge you by your level of confidence and authority.
If you act like a learner, they will think you’re a beginner. If that other person acts like a teacher, he becomes the teacher.

Result: they become the high-power expert, the one worth being listened to -and the one worth buying from-.
And you become the low-power, not-worth being listened-to guy (the true extent of your knowledge be damned).

All “Gurus”, Marketers and Charlatans Succeed As “Experts”

Finally, consider this:

Many of the most successful “gurus”, including many charlatans, self-frame themselves as experts.

Some of them may profess a growth mindset or say that they started as clueless.
For example, Tai Lopez rode the “growth mindset hype” and say he was a learner who started clueless.

But that’s a power move to be more relatable.
And they still sell you as experts.
They wouldn’t dream to learn from their audience while building their reputation.

Indeed, most of the gurus’ success and charisma is because they portray an expert image, never because they self-frame as learners.

Experts Advance In Academia, Learners Do Grunt Work

Academia, the place that should all be about learning also follows the same rules.

Emily in our forum experienced the same during her PhD.

And if you look at some academics’ facial expressions, read their books, or look at how they talk -or defend- their studies and theories with just a minimum of power awareness, you’ll often realize that, especially at a certain level, it’s more about power than “learning more”.

Example 1: Tom Bilyeu Looks Clueless, Submissive & “Not Worth Being Listened To”

Tom is a good example because he embodied and promoted an extreme approach to growth mindset.

Tom is a great guy, but power dynamics still apply, no matter how “a great guy” you are.

And while I like him, there’s also a part of me who feels disappointed and that he called his own bullying.
And that’s one of the main enablers of bullying: the bullied inadvertently attracts the bullying.
There’s a dark force that almost calls for bullying to naive and submissive people.

Now, back to our example.

Sadhguru and Tom Bilyeu are both active in the self-development space.
So, no matter what the do-goody may say, in a way, they’re competitors.

Tom interviews Sadhguru, so it’s expected and understandable he asks more questions, listens more, and generally learns more than teaching.

However, again… Balance.

When Sadhguru contradicts Tom about his own mission, Tom should NOT take an extreme learner’s role.

Because if you get schooled about your own mission, and what you’ve supposedly spent a lot of time thinking about… Then you lose a lot of authority.
And you also lose credibility and respect.

Unluckily, Tom takes on that pupil’s role:

Tom: (talks about his mission,)
Sadhguru: nono, there is substantial medical and scientific evidence to show that… (…) there is no argument about that <— contradicts him on a foundational aspect of his mission
Tom: (looks at him dumbouded) <— accepts the guest’s higher authority over his own mission

The early pick-up artists had a concept called “showing value in her world”.
Which meant learning about her, and then showing your value in what she does and cares about.
The concept was that if you can display higher value in her world, then she’ll be attracted to you.

In a way, it’s correct.
But unless you’re a girl who wants to be seduced, you shouldn’t let just about anyone display higher power and authority in your world -and field of expertise-.

Sadhguru entered Tom’s field of expertise and not only displays value and authority, but devalues and demeans Tom.

That’s bad for business, too.
It’s what he is selling.
And who wants to buy from a guy whose business is built on a proven mistake?

Tom should still let Sadhguru disagree and speak his mind, of course.
But he can disagree and politely push back.

Result:
Tom has 3.1 million subscribers and despite trying his best to be a self-development, he is most popular for interviews of other people.
Guests who, guess what, are all “gurus” who speak with self-confidence and engage others to teach, never to learn:

Sadhguru instead enjoys a full guru status and reputation. He has 10.6 million subscribers on his channel (sheep need a shepherd, you know).

This example is telling because Tom Bilyeu’s openly stated mission is to affect people at scale.
All his efforts go into being as popular as possible. He prides himself on going all-in, working non-stop.
And still… He can’t match the “guru”.

⛏️ The same goes for Lewis Howes’ “School of Greatness”, BTW.

Tom’s Growth Mindset Is A Disservice to His Audience

By uncritically thinking of anything and anyone as “someone to learn from”, Tom is doing a disservice to himself, and to his audience.

He’s giving away his mental real estate and giving a platform to the most dubious gurus the world has to offer, without ever challenging them.

Example 2: Demand Respectful Communication First, Learn Later (TPM Forum)

From this thread.

Lemme preface by saying that TPM’s forum is a training ground for learning.
In that sense, there are no mistakes, and no reputation and status one should uphold (except maybe for me and some other long-standing members since our image reflects on our work, but that’s a different topic).

Also, we’re not entering into the merit of “who’s right or wrong” here.

We only look at the response and whether the growth mindset was either appropriate and empowering, or not appropriate, and disempowering.

User 1 (first message): Seriously dude you thought making power moves in this forum was a smart idea?

It’s a strong message.
User 2 does not address the tone, and this is what comes next:

User 1 (second message): If you want to be a paranoid guy who makes unprovoked power-moves assuming everyone wants to social climb then it’s your choice.
(…) I don’t want to have anymore discussions on the threads you will start from here on after.
(…) Good luck.

When you reply with a too friendly/vulnerable/learner message to a strong message, you often lose power.
And it looks sneaky and fake because it’s just not human nature to focus on the learning when we’ve just been slapped.

If we focus on the feedback, then the feedback, was great.
And a growth mindset towards feedback is the best approach to get the most out of it.
However, see if you spot the issue in User 2 reply (I quote the relevant passages only):

User 2: I might lack power awareness, that could be the case.
(…) I want to understand your point of view (…) I admitted I might have been oversensitive on this one.
(…) I also might still be a bit paranoid through my previous experiences which might still have left me on the defensive. And could unconsicously provoke it (as I’m trying to understand what is happening).
(…) Thank you very much anyway as all of what you wrote is food for thoughts and I’m going to reflect on it.

There are elements of both vulnerability and growth mindset there.

If this exchange had happened in real life, or in any other forum where you care about your reputation, then some issues emerge.

The issues are:

1. Growth mindset without defending boundaries harms you socially
2. Growth mindset without defending boundaries may harm your self-esteem as the self-signaling is that it’s OK to treat you curtly and publicly (plus, potentially jumping to conclusions concerning a callous personality)
3. Extreme growth mindset feels “weak”: the “I may lack” is how a total growth mindset would approach it, and “I admitted” talk was extreme vulnerability.
   Both here lead to a power loss, especially when it’s without first addressing the boundaries and without demanding a more respectful tone.
4. Extreme growth mindset feels sneaky and “off”: as mentioned above, it’s just not natural to focus on the learning right after the slap, so people just wonder “what’s wrong with this person?”

Addendum about the exchange:
User 2 explained what happened.
He is a long term-member, smart, and also power-aware.
He knew what was going on, but did what he did because of other considerations.

Example 3: Greenspan Maintains Authority -And Income- For Handling Mistakes With A High-Power Teacher Frame

Alan Greenspan is (was?) considered one of the smartest men alive, one of the top economists in the world, and one of the best -if not the best- central bankers ever.

Now look at most of his facial expressions: does he look like a learner, or a teacher?

And did he take any responsibility for the financial meltdown, as any learner who “doesn’t care about power” should?

Nope.

Not only he defended himself saying it was impossible to do anything about it -something that many disagree with-, but he doubled down to go on the attack and display his superiority with a teacher’s frame:

Greenspan: What went wrong? Why was virtually every economist and policymaker of note <— power move: not only everyone didn’t see it, but those who did, aren’t “of note” -and not nearly as good as him- so blind to the coming calamity?
(…)
I have come to see <— that’s the “smart teacher” approach. He hasn’t “learned”, but he has “analyzed” the situation and concluded that…
that an important part of the answers to those questions is a very old idea: ‘animal spirits,’ 
(goes on to explain and enlighten others)
(…)

And could he have done anything to prevent the crisis?

A learner with a self-help fueled “can-do attitude” would say “yes”.
But it didn’t even cross Greenspan’s mind to say he could have done better.

No sensible policy, Greenspan maintains, could have prevented the housing bubble -something that many high-credibility experts disagree with-.

See?

There’s no hint of “learning” -and of course no hint of sharing any of the blame for supporting deregulation, for keeping interest rates at a record low, and for failing to foresee any possible dangers-.

Instead, there’s more explaining -and some verbal power moves to come across as smart and knowledgeable-.

Greenspan doesn’t earn my respect.
And I don’t like him.
I think of him as a smart alec as*hole.

So, yes, he could have done better -and maintained power while also earning the eagles’ respect-.

But an “extreme growth mindset” would have been even more harmful.
He’d have lost all reputation, status, and power.

Greenspan’s approach likely also helped him to maintain his high consulting fees.

Watch the video here:

Rules to Maximize Growth Mindset

General Rules:

• Adopt a growth mindset for yourself
• If feedback, attack, or criticism is disrespectful, address the tone first, and only later consider addressing the value and golden nugget in the feedback/criticism
• If the feedback is invalid say so, don’t try to play the open-minded nice guy who wants to “learn from anything and anybody”. That makes you look stupid, not “open”.
• If the criticism is central to your domain of expertise, focus on defending and re-empower yourself first, and only later address the value in the content -or don’t address it at all publicly, but learn privately-

Generally speaking, a growth mindset is also better among high-quality people since they know its benefits and they’re more likely to appreciate it while also less likely to fall for the allure of the “self-assured guru” -high-quality people are less likely to be sheep looking for a shepherd-.

If you’re still learning the ropes of power dynamics and aren’t sure about what’s OK and what’s disempowering, err on the side of caution and avoid going overboard with public displays of a growth mindset.

Solution: Dual Approaches For Best of Both Worlds

The approaches we propose are:

• Expert AND learner
• Private learner mode always on, public approach more strategic

We’ve just seen some examples of self-defeating growth mindsets.

But you can still publicly embrace a growth mindset, even while publicly rejecting or disagreeing with certain criticism.

Indeed, whenever needed, we like and propose this approach:

Reject or ignore the criticism if it’s an attack and if it’s damaging, while also privately acknowledging and reflecting on that feedback.
Potentially, you can also ask for more honest feedback later on, or to people that you respect and trust.

That way, you get the best of both worlds: the improvements and mental resilience of a growth mindset, with the social power, status, and respect that come from a more assertive approach.

Example from a YouTube comment:

Feedback: the voice over kills these clips bro

To accept that feedback may also imply that the content of our voice over is poor.

Why should we accept that, with our proven track record of cutting-edge analyses and adding ton of value to our customers?

BUT…

I still took this feedback seriously in private.
It’s likely that I can improve the voiceover and chances are that I will improve -also in small part thanks to this feedback-.

Don’t Take People’s Word On Their Growth Mindset

This may sound cynical, but there’s just little room to go around human nature.

So, taking human nature into account, we advise not to take any display and profession of growth mindset too literally.

On paper, a display of a growth mindset may seem an invite for straight and honest talk, and for open feedback and criticism.
“Wow”, you may think, what a great person I’ve just met.

And yes, maybe you have met a great person.

And still, there is little room to go around ingrained and inborn laws of human nature.
So, more times than not, you pay for your criticism with a loss of goodwill and social capital.

People may still say they’re grateful for the feedback, and they may even be… But chances are that you’ll still be passed up for a more loyal squire when it comes to opportunities and promotions.

It’s in human nature to prefer those who are encouraging and supportive rather than those who are critical.

And it’s also human nature to secretly resent those who are critical and don’t respect the pecking order.

So, generally speaking, leave radical candor for the radicals, and you be a realist instead and don’t be too upfront feedbacking to your boss.

Evolution Ain’t Stupid

Evolution isn’t stupid.

If most people have a fixed mindset it probably means that the benefits of a growth mindset haven’t been evolutionarily overwhelming.

And a fixed mindset probably did provide some benefits as well.

Namely, from a power perspective, fixed-mindset folks tend to pay more attention to their status and image as “good”, “knowledgeable” and “expert”.
That often makes for higher authority and social power, and there are many benefits to that.

Born “Good” + Fixed Mindset = Unbreakable Self-Esteem

And from a mental aspect, consider this:

In some traits training matters less and one may start at a high level from birth.

Call these ‘talents’.
A fixed mindset coupled with pride for one’s talent may afford you high and resilient self-esteem and confidence.

For example, yours truly grew up with a mother who ingrained in him that he was smart, and that’s how he was born.

And that served me incredibly well in many aspects of life.
Including high self-confidence, and an incredibly high self-esteem.

SUMMARY

A growth mindset is generally good.

But as for everything: balance and context matter.
And your goals must always come first.

In many contexts, and especially so in public, you may want to quit that “I’m the learner” stance and think instead more about power, status, and authority.