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Real World Seduction 2.0 by Swinggcat: (7.5/10)

Real World Seduction 2.0: Summary & Review

Real World Seduction 2.0 is a 19-chapter book on dating and seduction in which Swinggcat, the author, teaches how to seduce a woman starting from the approach to intimacy.

Bullet Summary

  • Work on yourself to build the attributes and characteristics women want
  • Frame yourself as the prize
  • Avoid the women who aren’t open to being seduced

Full Summary

About The Author: Swinggcat was one of the early innovators of "The Game" and a member of the Seduction Community in the late 1990s, studying under Ross Jeffries. A significant contributor from the early seduction days, Swinggcat was a PUA that pioneered the idea of role reversal, push-pull, and prizing.

Introduction and Prologue

  • Your sexual market value (SMV) can be raised through self-improvement to play in bigger leagues (seduce and attract higher-value women).
  • The difference between ethical and unethical seduction is whether or not your seduction efforts leave the other person better off.

More than how to seduce and date, this book also promises to teach you how to be charming.

So, let’s begin.

Chapter #1: Develop Attractive Attributes

#1: Your Looks

  • Women talk about wanting a physically attractive man who makes 6-figures, but then marry the opposite (a man who has less money, but more game).

Note: This is only true in some cases. Oftentimes, women will talk about possibly wanting a physically attractive man who makes 6-figures and then will go on to marry that man for his provider qualities. But, they’ll still be sexually attracted to the man with more lover’s qualities. (See Atomic Attraction).

  • Develop your style.

Especially before considering any cosmetic surgeries to improve your attractiveness.

Some steps you can take are to:

  1. Subscribe to men’s magazines to know the latest style trends
  2. Go to bars and nightclubs to see what the most attractive guys (the guys getting the most attention from women) are wearing
  3. Emulate the style of men with a similar build as you
  • Develop your hairstyle.

Find a hairstylist you trust and work with them to do what works for you.

  • Post pictures of yourself to gather feedback.
  • Age matters less for men than for women, so don’t use age as an excuse for your current unattractiveness.

#2: Assume Interest

  • Assume the woman is interested because it removes nervousness and insecurity.

Note: This mindset is OK, in my opinion, as long as you do it right. (See “Tinder girl frame battle” and “How to gain compliance”).

  • Assume the woman thinks you’re a sought-after prize from the get-go because it sets the foundation of mental empowerment for inner and outer game.

Note: Again, this is OK in my opinion, as long as you remember to combine that attitude with a healthy antifragile ego. Otherwise, you risk coming across as egotistical which is often a turn-off for women.

As a side note, given that this book promises to teach how to be charming, keep in mind that charmers often think of themselves less because of their deep love for others. So, if you’re not careful, this mindset could harm that important characteristic of the effective social charmer (see “How to be charming”).

  • “...if you don’t believe the woman is interested, you’ll unconsciously communicate your insecurity in your intonation and body language.”

This is based on the psychology of the anchoring cognitive bias. 

If you use a high anchor to convey high expectations to yourself of how much she already likes you, it will draw up your perception of how much she already actually likes you due to the assimilation effect (see “Convey high expectations” and “The most effective anchor”).

And, you’ll nonconsciously respond to her more positively because of the positive attitude stemming from that positive anchor.

#3: Strong Leadership

Take a strong lead throughout the entire interaction because it’s what makes women confident you’ll be a good lover.

  • When women ask where to eat, assert, “We’re going here.”

Note: She must accept your leadership first.

  • Or, better yet, take her somewhere without telling her where you’re going. And, if she begs you to tell her where you’re taking her, say, “Don’t worry, I like the food there, I’ll enjoy myself.” 

Note: In the audio version, the author said this in an assertive, authoritative tone with very downward tonality inflections. So, be careful of using this type of power-taking assertiveness with a woman who expects or demands a more egalitarian relationship. (See “How to test a woman for submissiveness to you”.)

  • Don’t be a dictator, be sure to take into account her ideas.

#4: Your Standards

  • Higher standards lead to higher dating success.
  • Sit down and write out exactly what you want in a woman (see The Love List).

#5: Your Reality

The author describes your reality as being made up of your thoughts and beliefs, likes and dislikes, habits and routines, hobbies and interests, friends and family, goals and purposes, sources of validation and acceptance, and so on.

  • Maintain your prizability (being the prize in your relationships) by maintaining a strong reality

If you let a woman pull you into her reality, she will lose attraction for you because it makes you look confused (see “Be the star of your own movie”). 

  • Don’t be her therapist.

It’s a win-lose situation that loses her respect.

  • Don’t get pulled into hanging out with her friends as a first date or when you’re first getting to know her

You would be entering an environment where her friends have “prove yourself to me” judge power over you (prove to me you’re a good fit for my friend here). 

And, from there, they can dissuade your date from seeing you again (if you don’t jump through their hoops to their satisfaction).

  • Don’t change your beliefs for a woman because you’re in love with her.
  • Don’t cut friends out of your life for a woman.
  • Do bring her around your biggest fans whenever you can.

Take her places where your (perceived) status is higher (for example, see “easy status boost: make friends with owners and staff”).

Bring her to parties or nightclubs where you have lots of friends who will laugh at your dumb jokes, build you up, and make you look good.

Warning: on your first date, don’t bring her around people you worship, especially if they don’t respect you.

  • If you don’t have people in your life who adore and look up to you, take her out alone.
  • Introduce her to the things you enjoy.

The foods, activities, and music you like. This will draw her into your world (your reality) and be part of your strong leadership.

#6: Be a Challenge

  • Making yourself a challenge makes you a prize.

So, disqualify yourself so she’ll work to prove you wrong.

#7: Use Humor

If you use humor, make sure it communicates you’re a prize.

  • Avoid self-deprecating humor because women believe the saying that “there’s always some truth in people’s humor”.

Note: Self-deprecating humor can be great to come across as more charming if your status is far higher than the rest of the group. In that case, closing that gap with some self-deprecating humor can communicate warmth and relatability. But, generally speaking, yes, if your status is on the same level as (or lower than) the rest of the group, avoid self-deprecating humor.

  • Humor helps put women in a more positive mood which leads them to be less judgmental. 

This is because your humor encourages their heuristic processing (see “Optimize your message”).

#8: Advertise Vulnerability

Your “costly signals” are anything you do that a woman views as potentially harmful to your social status or chances of mating with her. 

When you’ve established yourself as the prize with a woman, strategically advertise your “costly signals” to increase your perceived prizability.

#9: Your Comfort

The three elements of being charming are having high personal value, using good social skills, and being comfortable in your skin.

Here are some things you can do to feel more comfortable around women:

  • Make five female friends who are your type

The more time you spend around them, the more comfortable you’ll become around the type of women you like.

  • Work on your belief system

Avoid self-limiting beliefs and doubts.

#10: Be Non-reactive

“He who angers you conquers you.”

In general, the one who’s the least reactive in the interaction has more prizability and power to influence or control the interaction.

#11: Show Intent

Remain detached from the outcome with a woman to avoid being clingy, needy, insecure, and emotionally reactive.

  • Don’t remain detached by (egotistically) pretending to have no desired outcome in mind.
  • Have a strong meta-intent.

A meta-intent is a well-defined, desired outcome in the absence of neediness and attachment.

Chapter #2: Obtain Inner Confidence

#1: Confidence

The two facets of confidence are:

  1. An empowering belief system.
  2. Expanding your comfort zone.

Most men lack confidence because they only work on one (or neither) of the facets.

Keep in mind on your confidence-building journey:

  • Your confidence is your experience. The more experience you get, the more confident you’ll eventually become in that area.
  • Your belief system needs to be field-tested for cognitive dissonance (does your nonconscious brain believe the beliefs you tell yourself?)

#2: Antifragile Ego Beliefs

For your belief system, here are some antifragile ego beliefs the author shares for you to internalize along your journey:

  • Despite any fear, there’s more pain in not doing it [going for it and doing your best].
  • No matter how a woman reacts to me, there’s always something beneficial to learn.

Chapter #3: Intro To Frames

By rewarding rude behavior from a woman during the interaction, you allow the following negative frames to be set:

  1. He’s unassertive / passive / submissive.
  2. He’s more invested in this interaction / relationship than she is.

These imply the meta-frame (the underlying frame) that she’s the prize he’s trying to win over.

The meta-frame determines the overall underlying meaning of the interaction and assigns a role to each participant.

  • Aim to set a frame that frames you as the prize.

Women don’t always have to buy into that frame. As long as you avoid buying into theirs, you’ll still be perceived as having some prizability.

Chapter #4: The Fourfold Meta-Frame

#1: The Fourfold Meta-Frame

The Fourfold Meta-Frame is the perception and belief that:

  1. You’re the prize.
  2. She’s trying to win you over.
  3. She wants you so bad she’s trying to make you sleep with her.
  4. She’ll only get to sleep with you if she lives up to your standards and expectations.
  • Don’t directly or openly communicate the Fourfold Meta-Frame.

Sub-communicate it with your behavior and frame control.

  • Practice the Fourfold Meta-Frame using visualization.

Identify the kind of girl you’d like to attract and then visualize, starting from your approach all the way to ending with intimacy, using the Fourfold Meta-Frame to seduce her.

#2: You’re the Prize

Invert the traditional roles. Turn yourself into the chooser and her into the suitor.

  • Disqualify her before she has the chance to disqualify you.

Women still want to be liked. So, when you disqualify her, you take away some of your fondness for her. 

And, that gives you the role of the chooser. That moves you closer to being perceived as the prize.

Note: This relies on the woman being somewhat emotionally dependent on your approval or acceptance. More than emotional independence, your SMV has to be high enough for her to care about being qualified by you.

  • Use the Fourfold Meta-Frame with humor

Avoid positive humor because what makes us laugh is what’s fucked up about the world.

Note: Here, the author slides in an anecdote about a Chrisitan joke book he read that kept him laughing because it was so bad it was good. He believes that the negative (slightly value-taking humor) is the humor that we actually find funny and will raise your prizability. And, while that style of humor can certainly get you laughs, it can also come at the expense of your charm. As the old saying goes, “You could wind up liked by everyone and loved by no one.” (See the “Davide style”.)

  • Attraction = Frames + Humor + Playfulness

Note: Some of the most effective social charmers are the best examples of walking attraction generators. And, they follow the equation: Attraction/Charm = Personal Value + Social Skills + Comfort. 

So, as you can probably imagine, it would be quite difficult for a girl to find you attractive if you were low-value (which comes down to more than only frames), socially unskilled outside of making jokes, and playful while also being nervous and uneasy.

Still, his equation isn’t fully wrong. Frames, humor, and playfulness do often play a significant role in the seduction process for many of the seducers out there.

  • Use negative humor because women often use it to position themselves as the prize.

So, it’s OK to use women’s own game back on them.

Note: The kind of humor the author describes here is slightly value-taking. So, one must be careful not to overdo it and break rapport or, worse, chip away at her self-esteem as that could become manipulative.

Chapter #5: Prizable Body Language

Adopt non-reactive body language.

  1. Move slowly.
  2. Move deliberately.
  3. Move on your own terms.

Note: Be mindful to avoid moving too slow in a busy, fast-paced environment. (See “How to walk sexy and confident”.) 

Here, the author also gives an example to help illustrate how your body language should be to seduce a woman.

“She calls your name. How do you react? What would be a nonreactive response? First, delay responding to her for a few seconds. This demonstrates that you’re responding on your own terms. Second, when you do respond, slowly and deliberately turn your head towards her. Third, instead of dashing up to her, keep your feet planted. More often than not, the woman will come up to you.”

Note: This is typically the kind of behavior high-quality men exude after a woman unfairly makes them wait (see “Even the scores: let them wait”). So, behavior like this can seem out of place and lead her to wonder if she’s done something wrong.

As an added note, this slow-moving, non-reactive behavior is reminiscent of the “Been There Done That” style of dominance which must be earned first. If not, you risk coming across as haughty, cocky, or clueless.

  • Avoid leaning in.
  • Record yourself in interactions to gather feedback and systematically improve your body language.

Chapter #6: Cold Approaching Secrets

#1: Cold Approaching

  • Your biggest challenge to approaching women isn’t women, it’s yourself.

Here’s how to approach, step by step:

  1. Get outside your head.
  2. Approach right away.
  3. Have high standards and a strong meta-intent before you approach.
  4. Assume the Fourfold Meta-Frame.

Note: This feels a bit out of order. So, if you apply this advice, you may have more success by putting step number two last because steps three and four are mindsets the author recommends holding before you approach.

  • When you approach her, build emotional relevance.

Emotional relevance is having, doing, or saying things that are emotionally relevant to a woman (things she cares about).

For example, the standard, “So, where are you from?” And, “Come here often?” lines are emotionally irrelevant to a woman because women often care little to talk about those things and may become (emotionally) bored.

You can build emotional relevance through: 

  1. Preselection
  2. Intrigue
  3. Humor
  4. Common social decency
  5. Challenging a woman
  6. Gaining her compliance.

Chapter #7: How To Vibe

The two components to vibing are:

  1. Emotional relevance
  2. Empathy

Make the interaction emotionally rewarding for everyone and avoid hogging the conversational spotlight or making it all about you (see The Social Skills Guidebook).

#1: Vibing with Women

Become a source of validation for a woman and you’ll become her authority.

And, the author says, “Once you’re a source of validation, every time you give her approval, she’ll feel an intense vibe with you.”

Note: The author describes vibing as emotional relevance coupled with empathy. But, one can dispense emotional rewards as a judge without empathizing.

And, on another note, vibing is defined here at TPM as a shared focus and shared conversation (see “The Art of Vibing”).

Chapter #8: How To Cold Read

#1: How to Cold Read

Cold reading is the act of telling a woman about herself without her thinking you have any prior knowledge about her.

There are two main ways to cold read:

  1. State the obvious about her.
  2. State universal things that are true about (almost) every woman.

Chapter #9: How To Storytell

Avoid showcasing your prizable assets in a way that telegraphs your need for validation and approval.

To avoid bragging, there are two ways you can disclose your prizable assets. Share them as:

  1. Ancillary details within your story.
  2. Part of the context in which your story takes place.

Chapter #10: Using Open Loops

  • Create tension loops.

Creating a tension loop is the act of creating unresolved sexual tension inside of a woman, increasing it, releasing it, and then sparking it all over again. Within the context of dating and seduction, this tension becomes sexualized (hence, sexual tension).

One way the author suggests you can create sexual tension is by creating fictitious drama.

  • Use open loops.

An open loop is an unfinished thought or story that contains a tension loop structure.

“Conversational Open Loops compel women to show interest through asking questions. Each successive question they ask further psychologically commits them to being interested in you. Due to commitment & consistency, this ups the chances that their future behavior will be consistent with their commitment.”

Note: This is true. But, it’s unlikely that the commitment and consistency principle (based on cognitive dissonance) has the power to overwrite long-term conversational habits. Whether or not a woman asks a series of questions one after the other depends less on the commitment and consistency principle and more on the woman’s style of conversation (see “Approaches to socialization”).

Plus, one must be careful to avoid investing too much in the interaction by giving detailed answers to the asker’s questions while the asker invests little by using short, brief sentences to pose more questions.

Chapter #11: The Push-Pull

A “push-pull” is emotionally pushing a woman away from you and then emotionally pulling her back in. Each "push" creates an emotional space for each pull.

It’s also a form of tension loop. The push sparks unresolved emotional tension. And, the pull releases that tension.

And, when done right, it’s also a form of prizing. The unresolved emotional tension influences women to seek a resolution to that tension by investing because push-pulls send mixed signals that keep women guessing.

  • Never make the push a direct insult.

Chapter #12: Qualifying and Challenging

Make a woman prove (qualify) herself to you.

Here is a step-by-step process to do that:

  1. Ask her a question or present her with a challenge that makes her qualify.
  2. If she complies, let her know she qualified.
  3. Put up a false barrier or qualify her further.

If she doesn’t prove herself to you, pivot away from it, build up more prizability, then qualify her again later after building some more rapport and attraction.

Note: Some women may not want to give you the “prove yourself to me” judge role right away because they haven’t accepted your leadership or judge authority yet. So, by building more rapport and attraction, you can better influence women to want to qualify themselves to you.

Chapter #13: The Physical Touch

You want to condition her to make these associations:

  1. Physical touch (associated) with acceptance and validation.
  2. The release of physical touch (associated) with rejection and disapproval.

Do this by coupling touching her with a verbal pull. And, release your touches with verbal pushes.

Note: Be careful to do this only when the situation deems it as appropriate. (See “When you need a push-pull”.)

Chapter #14: Using Role-Playing

The power behind role-playing it:

  1. It removes the fear and rejection.
  2. It exonerates the participants from any guilt or consequences for their actions.
  3. The unconscious mind processes everything that happens during role-playing as real.
  • Combine your role-plays with qualifying, tension loops, and prizing body language.

Chapter #15: Tests Women Use

Some tests you may often come across include:

  1. The damsel in distress test.
  2. Prize-tests: tests that question, “How prizable is he?”
  3. Shit-tests: tests that question, “How much shit will take or put up with?”

Note: In seduction and power dynamics, a shit-test is defined as a test or social challenge delivered by the choosing individual to the pursuing individual. And, when women are the ones delivering the tests, it’s often to test his value, experience, or level of interest. Therefore, the author’s definitions for “prize-tests” and “shit-tests” both count as shit-tests. So, using one definition for both would work here.

Lesson #16: Women’s Token Barriers

Token barriers are “flexible” barriers. They can: 

  1. Turn into real barriers (which are boundaries). 
  2. Be prize tests in disguise.
  3. Be temporary resistance.

Women typically put up barriers out of obligation, not a lack of desire for you. Address the barriers with frame control to move past them (see “frame control techniques”).

Lesson #17: Reframing Women’s Tests

An example from the author: 

Swinggcat: “Imagine I’m staring at a woman. Next, her high heel shoes stomp in my direction and she fires a Damsel in Distress test at me by scolding, ‘Why are you staring at me? That’s so fucking rude, lecher.’ I reframe her with, ‘Sorry sweetie. I didn’t even notice you until now. I was actually staring at the girl behind you. But you’re cute as well. Would you mind going up to her and bringing her over here for me.’ I changed the meaning of the frame by changing the behavior: I wasn’t staring at her, I was staring at the girl behind her. Moreover, it put her into my frame. In a gentle fashion, I defined the behavior of her scolding me as meaning that she’s presumptuous and a little socially inept for thinking that I was staring at her. Most importantly, my new frame forces her into the Fourfold Meta-Frame.”

Note: The author describes aggressive behavior as fitting the damsel in distress test as long as the woman is (or is feigning being) vulnerable. Here at TPM, we have a term called the “damsel in distress game”. And, it leverages high signals of vulnerability, exploitability, and submissiveness mixed with ‘an air of a woman in need of ‘protection’.” A staple of Marylin Monroe’s sexual lure as a seducer. And, it would be hard to imagine Monroe behaving in the same manner as the woman in the example above, so imagine the damsel in distress test and damsel in distress game as two different terms with two different definitions.

Lesson #18: Outframing Women’s Tests

“Outframes serve the same purpose as reframes. But they function differently. Instead of reframing a woman’s frame, they put a larger frame around it.”

The different types of outframes:

  1. Bad Intentions (framing the intention behind a woman’s test or barrier in a negative light). 
  2. Undesirable Attributes (framing the cause of a test or barrier as a personality flaw the woman possesses).
  3. Consequence Framing (pointing out the consequences of her behavior or frame).

Real-Life Applications

  • Don’t pretend to enjoy the things she likes because that will kill the attraction.
  • Praise the behavior you want to see more of.

Positive reinforcement that leads to a good time for both of you is positive persuasion and good seduction.


  • Confusing information on having standards

The author teaches that higher standards lead to higher dating success because of this philosophy:

“It’s a very funny thing about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.” -William Somerset Maugham

But, one’s dating success is heavily determined not by their standards, but by their own SMV.

And, while I think the author knows this (hence why he goes into such detail on raising your attractiveness), this part still came across as a neat hack or trick one can do to instantly see more dating success. 

So, I would’ve preferred if the author did more to make the dating success that can result from this mindset seem less automatic.

  • (Maybe) Could use some more intuitive naming

The “Your Reality” section shares great strategies on how to be in control of your life. And, the “reality” concept comes back around later in the book, so it works well.

But, at times that particular section didn’t feel like it was about realities. It felt like it was about quality.

So, instead of “don’t let her pull you into her reality”, perhaps splitting that section in two and naming the first part “don’t behave in ways that lower your perceived quality” might’ve been better.

Especially, since that section lists out some things men have done that negatively affected the way women viewed them (for example, changing beliefs only to make her happy because they’re emotionally dependent on her approval, cutting off friends because she threatened a break-up if he didn’t, and so on).

  • Could use better wording at times

For example, the author says, “Maintain a strong reality.”

Maintain a strong reality or maintain a strong hold on your reality? 

The former leans toward implying that one needs a strong (fun and exciting) lifestyle to pull women into. But, the latter better supports the author’s points that it’s less about the lifestyle you lead and more about being the lead of your lifestyle.

  • Gets a few definitions wrong

The author says, “When a woman witnesses other women treating a man like a prize, it fires a compliance trigger hard-wired into her brain called social proof.” 

And, that’s actually preselection (see “Using social proof & preselection to boost attraction”).

As an added note, social proof is more of an influence-related human instinct than a “compliance trigger” because social proof doesn’t guarantee compliance.

  • Audio editing could use a clean-up

The audio repeated some words and sometimes causes the narrator to speak a little faster than what you might feel is considered normal.

But, the author only repeats himself three times due to the editing, and the amount of speed-ups is minimal. 

  • Teaches affirmations for building confidence

The author mentions that the two facets of confidence are your experience and your belief system. And, the author gives a list of beliefs the reader can take away and begin internalizing right away.

An example of those beliefs is, “No matter how psychotic it seems, deep down inside, every woman on the planet believes that I’m the prize she wants to win.”

This seems like an easy ego boost without having done any of the work to earn it (and, that’s assuming you believe what you’re saying).

Plus, this belief can lead one to become more cocky than confident because of the nature of this mindset. 

And, the majority of the other beliefs are similar affirmations without the exact use of “I am” (see “A better alternative to affirmations and why it works”).

  • Missing some studies

The author says, “Say the four folds of the Fourfold Meta-Frame aloud ten times a day the same way you would rehearse an affirmation. This will din the Fourfold Meta-Frame into your neurology.”

But, he doesn’t share any references to research or studies that prove this, and, to my knowledge, there are none.

The author also says, “When meeting a man, a parade of questions march through a woman’s mind such as, ‘Does he think he’s the prize? Does he think he can seduce me? Does he think I’m attracted to him?’ If the answer is ‘no’ to any of these questions, they’ll seem as having no prizability and eliminate him as a potential mate.”

This seems like a good point to back with a link to some research because it conflicts with information (the stereotype content model) that does have scientific support. 

  • Switches between teaching antifragile and fragile ego beliefs

The author tells a story of how he made it his goal to kiss a girl every day over the course of 30 days despite his nervousness, fear, and anxiety back then. And, he mentions that he was able to pull off kissing at least 15.

Though, I’d say that the real victory and growth was in the effort of having gone for and done his best to push through his anxiety rather than the result of having kissed however many girls. 

And, I wish the author would have underlined that more because it felt like he took more pride in the outcome than the effort.

  • Some relatively short chapters

For example, Chapter 3 is two pages long. And, Chapter 16 is only a page and a half. 

Compared to the other chapters and the rest of the book, the amount of content there seemed relatively short.

  • Leaves out some steps and information

In the section on the Fourfold Meta-Frame, the author says to include your desired outcome in the Fourfold Meta-Frame in order to have a strong meta-intent.

But, he doesn’t say how. Do you add your desired outcome as a fifth fold, phrased in a way that supports your “I’m the prize” mindsets? 

Unfortunately, he doesn’t say.

  • Provides poor reasoning behind some of the mindsets

For example, the author recommends adopting certain “I’m the prize” beliefs because attractive women have them, so it will flip the script. 

Simply because a woman has certain beliefs while dating doesn’t mean they’d transfer over well to a man (or be good in the first place).

A man must have the SMV to support his belief that he’s the prize if he wants to experience real results in his dating life. 

And, besides that, the “I’m the prize” attitude that some attractive women hold often leads them to put themselves on a pedestal and sometimes behave egotistically. And, it’s that kind of unattractive behavior that will lead men who are experienced in dating to neg them in order to take them down a notch (see “An example of subtle negging in text”).

So, “I’m the prize” beliefs don’t always transfer well and can even be counterproductive for both men and women when overdone.

  • Sometimes overstates the importance of good game

The author reminds the readers throughout the book that inner and outer game matter more than looks to the point that it sometimes feels like he’s saying looks don’t matter.

Albeit the first chapter talks about the importance of looks, the remaining chapters are about character. And, the author’s storytelling style in those remaining chapters makes it seem as though looks are irrelevant to seduction and dating. 

Especially when he says things like “even if she thinks your looks are God-awful” and “even if a woman thinks your head was harvested from a wildebeest and transplanted onto your shoulders”.

  • Misconstrues some information in psychology

The author says, “Anytime a woman’s face is pinched, posture is rigid, or arms are crossed, mismatch her. Loosen your face and smile, uncross your arms, and relax your posture. Because women unconsciously want to open up, they’ll start matching your body language.”

Not entirely true. People only mirror the body language of those they perceive to be like them. So, if they think you’re too dissimilar from them, they’ll maintain their current body language due to ingroup/outgroup favoritism (see “Trigger social pressure”).


  • Honest sexual market value talk

It was great to hear the author talk about the potential a man has in terms of how high his attractiveness can go if he works hard.

And, it’s true: a man’s value is heavily determined by the heights he reaches in his own self-development.

  • Recommends sound psychology

It was very interesting to see the author incorporate psychology (such as the anchoring cognitive bias and heuristic processing) typically applied to sales and negotiation to the seduction process.

  • Recommends being collaboratively assertive

Primarily in the section on “strong leadership”, the author recommends his readers to avoid being a dictator.

Be assertive without being aggressive. Authoritative without being authoritarian. Dominant without being domineering.

And, even in a relationship with a woman who prefers to fully submit to her partner, a constant attitude of over-dominance can still sour the relationship.

More than that, it’s good for nurturing a relationship that results in both partners having mutual respect for each other as opposed to a relationship involving (albeit possibly unintentional) abuse.

  • Avoids counterproductive red pill psychology

For example, in the “Your Reality” section where the author recommends you don’t get pulled into hanging out with her friends as a first date. 

There, the author makes sure to mention that not everything a woman does throughout the dating process is a “play” or a game from her. A woman may invite you to hang out with her friends as a first date not to make things harder for you, but because she has real reservations about going out alone with a stranger. 

It was nice to hear the author give valid, understandable reasons behind some of the dating behavior women use and games they might often play as opposed to simply saying it’s because “women can’t love men” (see Alpha Male Strategies).

  • Tells stories openly and honestly 

About his own fears, nervousness, and anxieties on his journey to becoming better with women. 

And, that was refreshing to hear.

  • Acknowledges and teaches judge power dynamics 

The author says, “Playing the role of the suitor is a losing battle for guys. If a man incessantly jumps through a woman’s hoops with the fairy tale dream of winning her over, she’ll see him as packing the prizability of a herpes breakout.”

And, the author goes even further later in the book to make sure readers understand the consequences of being on the losing end of the stick when it comes to judge power dynamics.

  • Author’s writing style made the program fun and engaging to listen to

The author makes a lot of jokes and uses very descriptive language to put you in the situations and stories he tells as if you’re really there.

It made me feel grateful for an audio version because it also served as a solid reminder that while dating can be painful, it’s not supposed to be confrontational. 

It can be fun and enjoyable, just like the book.

  • Gives real, specific techniques you can use now

Such as initiators, conversational hooks for cold approaching women, role-play ideas, and much, much more.  

This book is great for practicality (you won’t be overwhelmed with theory) and quick actionability.

  • Teaches charmer traits that can help in all social interactions

The author teaches charmer traits and social skills that help in more than only dating. 

This was given a larger spotlight in the author’s section on avoiding the nasty social climbing behavior of bragging. He went into detail teaching how one can go about self-promoting in a way that raises your status without coming across as a braggart, narcissistic, or annoying.

  • Pulls from the best resources on influence, persuasion, and social skills

If you read this book, you might notice information that’s also shared in other resources jump out at you (most notably from The Social Skills Guidebook and Methods of Persuasion).

And, it’s a treat to hear the author share information that’s validated by some of the best resources out there as he ties it into how you can become better with women.


A very valuable and oftentimes very entertaining program.

As you know, more content means more to pick apart. So, it may seem like there are a lot of cons, but it’s only because the program is so robust and covers so much of the dating and seduction process. 

This program would be 8.5 stars if it weren’t for the definition mix-ups, psychology mistakes, and fragile ego mindsets. But, since I’ve organized them for you here, they’ll be easier to move past if you join :). 

If the author decides to clean up the errors listed in the Cons list, this is easily an almost 9-star program. 

Lucio Buffalmano, Kellvo and Matthew Whitewood have reacted to this post.
Lucio BuffalmanoKellvoMatthew Whitewood

My original rating was 7.5 with the potential to reach an 8.5 if the author addressed the book's Cons above.

But, Lucio shared some feedback after reading this review that made me feel 7.5 might be a bit high.

As you guys know, Lucio's the main expert here, so I had to be aware of the possibility that my brain misinterpreted his message as "authority-endorsing" a lower score (which would be a mistake on my part). At the same time, it also doesn't hurt to keep an open mind, so I reread over the review and some of the author's material (inside of the book itself) to double-check my rating.

And, to bring it all together, I still feel that 7.5 is a fair score. With that said though, I'd love to hear your feedback (especially if you disagree 🙂 ) because your thoughts can help make my future reviews and ratings better.

So, if you want to, let me know what you think of this rating below.

Matthew Whitewood has reacted to this post.
Matthew Whitewood

First of all, thanks so much for the detailed review!
As always, I have gained much from your reviews.

I think it wouldn't be constructive for me to judge your rating because I have less context than you with regards to how the course is like.
Also, I haven't really thought about what makes a book 7 or 9.

What I could possibly help with is making the rating "less subjective" by listing down a few "metrics".
I suppose you may have certain metrics or concepts about the book that you found interesting or outstanding.
While Lucio may favour other aspects of the books.

I will list some pointers down here at the top of my head.
Maybe for dating books, one could break down the ratings into

  • Book Organisation: 0 - 10
    • Central Themes
    • Chapter Summaries
    • End of Book Summary
  • Concepts of sexual marketplace: 0 - 10
    • Understanding the sexual marketplace
    • Evaluate your own marketplace
    • What's your status (or SMV) in the marketplace?
    • Evaluating & choosing channels: online dating, cold approach, social circle
    • Interests of men & women and how they differ. Sexual conflicts
  • Mindsets and emotional stability: 0 - 10
    • Think of yourself as a leader, evaluator, etc
    • How to take rejection?
  • Practical Seduction Skills: 0 - 10
    • Frame control
    • How to use charm?
    • Vibing
  • Relationships: 0 - 10
    • Looks like this book doesn't focus on relationships so probably unfair to include this metric
  • Discretionary: 0 - 10 (or +1/-1 to overall score)
    • Surprisingly novel ideas
    • Exceptional presentation of particular ideas

In my opinion, this could help with

  • Setting benchmarks for a book genre (e.g. dating) and the scope of evaluation
  • Realising a book that does well in one aspect (explaining sexual marketplace) but quite poorly overall
    I may prefer to read a book that scores 10 in only one aspect than another moderately good book scoring an overall 8
  • Less subjectivity. It's hard to give 1 number to a book.
    Easier to give a number from 0-10 on how organised the book is for example.
    People give different weights/importance to different aspects of a book.

Of course, we should never feel constrained by metrics and use them as guides.

Feel free to let me know if you find this useful.

Quote from Matthew Whitewood on November 5, 2021, 10:20 am

First of all, thanks so much for the detailed review!
As always, I have gained much from your reviews.


Glad to hear that, Matthew!

And, yes, I typically do my rating and reviews based on:
  1. How much of the resource's main topic is covered.
  2. How well the resource's main topic is covered.
I think your exact benchmark has a bit of a complicated feel to it, but its pointers are definitely something to keep in mind in the future to make sure I'm as fair as possible on the above two points.
So, thank you for taking the time to write your post.
Quote from Ali Scarlett on November 5, 2021, 4:28 am

Iger describes this as energy-producing because it’s an effective and efficient way of thinking about your work (albeit not always the most relaxing).


Lucio, if you can, please remove this line because it's from another review.

Hi Lucio,

It doesn't seem like this review was added to the resources list.

So, if you want to, feel free to add it.

Lucio Buffalmano has reacted to this post.
Lucio Buffalmano
Quote from Ali Scarlett on November 9, 2021, 4:16 pm

Hi Lucio,

It doesn't seem like this review was added to the resources list.

So, if you want to, feel free to add it.

Added it now, together with "Simple Habits" from your latest journal entry.

Have you read the forum guidelines for effective communication already?
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