Masculinity can be confusing for men because the discussion is often biased, opinion-based, or unscientific.

At The Power Moves, we prioritize science, experience, and what’s proven to work.

This masculinity guide helps you become a powerful, effective, and masculine man by synthesizing evidence from psychological research, sociology, and human behavior to provide a no-nonsense, proven approach—without platitudes or wishful thinking.

What Is Masculinity

Definition:

Masculinity represents a set of physical and psychological traits, behaviors, and achievements typically associated with dominant adult males.

Note:

• ‘Achievements’ is important because, unlike femininity, masculine respect must be earned (Vandello, 2008)
• ‘Dominant’ because many masculine traits align more with high-value, successful men, rather than ‘men’ in general.

Common Masculine Traits

Across many cultures and studies, common masculine traits include:

• Mental strength
  • Confidence and self-esteem
  • Courage and risk-taking (when appropriate)
  • Stoicism, emotional self-control and stability
  • Independece and self-reliance
• Physical formidability, including size
  • Strength and muscular build
  • Athleticism
  • Body cues: V-hape, prominent jawline, masculine nonverbals, etc.
• Social power and influence
  • Interpersonal dominance and assertiveness
  • Leadership
  • Status
    • Honor, upholding individual, familial, and group honor
• Ambition
  • Decisiveness & action bias

Many of these traits are not arbitrary, and correlate with testosterone and/or with evolved strategies (Myers and Bjorklund, 2020).

Lower scores on these traits signal lower masculinity.
Higher scores signal higher masculinity.

Core Masculine Roles

These roles, common among different cultures, also carry expctations of behavior:

• Breadwinner, or higher household income
• Contributor to society
• Household leader
• Impregnator (Gilmore, 1990)
• Protector of females or society (warrior archetype)

Culture plays a larger role in men’s roles, rather than traits, but biology also matters.

The ‘breadwinner’ may be more contested.
Even if the hunter-gatherer hypothesis is correct, hunting equals not ‘breadwinner’ since some evidence suggests women’s gathering can bring more food and calories.

The evolutionary and biological basis for the “protector” role is stronger, supported by physical dimorphism and male–male competition.
And the biological case for ‘impregnator’ is unquestionable.

The masculine archetype of warrior/protector, also highlighted by Gillette and Moore, is a cross-cultural role that emphasizes protection and strength.

Masculinity in Context: A Comparison

Masculinity often gets defined in contrast to femininity.

Here are research-based contrasts (with lots of overlap in reality):

Table compiled by Lucio Buffalmano, synthesizing empirically supported findings from the Sage Handbook of Gender and Psychology & Helgeson’s Psychology of Gender, and various meta-analyses

Culture, Biology, and Masculinity

Biology influences culture and, in the long run, culture also shapes biology (Henrich, 2015).

Hence, rather than clashing, biology and culture often move together. Studies also show strong cross-cultural agreements regarding beliefs about manhood.

However, culture also plays a decisive role.
Some standards of masculinity shift across time and place (for example, The Cambridge Handbook notes changing views around oral sex, with older-school men seeing it as unmanly).

In many cases, cultural expectations may outweigh biological markers, since masculinity is judged socially rather than in the laboratory.

For example, there is no clear evidence that men are less emotional. In some studies, men have stronger physiological responses to emotion-inducing events.
However, people associate emotions with femininity and stoicism with masculinity.

Masculine Cultural Stereotypes

Men are different in important ways.

Gender differences also add up over time and aggregate at the group level to produce significant differences for both individuals and societies.

However, pop psychology often overestimates gender differences, contributing to perceptions of exaggerated differences.
It’s not uncommon for people to associate these polar opposites to masculinity and femininity:

Partly true—but without context, it’s pop-psych, male wishful thinking, and disempowering clichés

In reality, the overlap is greater than many claim (Stewart-Williams, 2020), and many gender differences typically follow the pattern shown in this chart:

However, as we shall see, even mistaken cliches matter in defining masculinity.

👉🏼Takeaway: To assess individuals, look more at individuals, rather than gender.

Masculine Stereotypes Set Masculine Standards

Masculinity is what people believe masculinity is

Gender stereotypes are prescriptive, not just describing typical behavior, but suggesting how individuals should behave (Prentice & Carranza, 2004).

Meaning, it doesn’t matter whether a stereotype is biologically grounded, fair, or harmful—if X is expected of men, not doing X is deemed unmasculine
And failure to perform may cost men status, mental health, and even their relationships.

This is why an early article on this website cautioned men around displaying vulnerability.

However, following stereotyping blinding won’t serve a man’s interests.
Some are bogus, some are manipulative, and some are obviously harmful.
For example, I’ve encountered older masculine stereotypes that ‘mannish men smell (because they don’t care about hygiene)’.
While it may be true that men, on average, are less invested in grooming than women, poor hygiene consistently lowers both social status and intrasexual attractiveness.

🙋‍♂️Lucio’s Tip: Choose your own standards

Lucio:
Why would you let random others set your standard?

First, most claims about ‘what men are’ are baseless power plays to impose personal standards.
Second, generalizations refer to the average of men. If you’re reading TPM, you want more than average.

I’ve seen enough cool guys lose self-esteem based on inherited standards.

Throw out others’ definitions of ‘what a man is’.
And focus on whatever moves you towards your goals.

This is what I’ve done for myself, and it has served me incredibly well.

It’s mentally empowering. And paradoxically, this is actual masculinity: less other-reliance, more independence. 🦅

👉🏼Takeaway: Both biological markers and culturally-shaped behavioral expectations define masculinity

Why Masculinity Is Important

Men who are more masculine than the average tend to gain in:

• Status & respect: High-masculinity men are perceived as more dominant and competent. They tend to gain status and respect. And the more masculine the context, the more masculinity matters
• Attraction: Masculine men are more attractive, especially to high mate value women (Figueredo and Salmon, 2022)
• Competitive achievements: Thanks to masculine traits like ambition, risk-taking, and assertiveness (Puts, 2010).
• Leadership: Masculine behavior correlates with being seen as a natural leader (Van Vugt & Spisak, 2008).

Conversely, low masculinity costs in all those areas.
And ‘gender non-conformity’ incurs extra social and health costs.

Masculinity & Power

Masculinity gets ahead, femininity gets along

– A generalization, with a backdrop of truth

Already from childhood, girls play more relationship-oriented games, and boys more dominance-related games (Pellegrini, 2013).

Men seek more agentic power, whereas women prefer social connections (Hays, 2013; Yang & Girgus, 2019).
Women also associate stronger emotions with their intimate relationships and are more anxiously attached.

🙋‍♂️Lucio’s take: your value trumps gender for relationship dynamics
Studies found men often value relationships more—likely because mate value trumps all. Lower-value men cling; high-value women choose. So forget ‘men are…’ and focus on your power.

Men Have Higher & Resilient Self-Esteem

Across several studies, men’s self-esteem is more constant and independent.

from Roberts and Nolen-Hoeksema’s study, adapted by Helgeson

🙋🏼‍♂️ Lucio’s Note: Prioritize self-esteem
It underpins masculinity, mental health, and social power. If needed, check our confidence course.

Agentic Masculinity Improves Health & Self-Esteem

Power and acceptance relate to the ‘agency’ and ‘communion’ model (David Bakan, 1966):

Alignment with these modalities supports mental health.
Men’s self-esteem seems based on power, differentiation, effectiveness, and independent action. Women’s self-esteem is based on communion (Miller, 1991; Brizendine, 2006).

👉🏼 Asian men: prioritize power & masculinity
East and South-East Asian men are seen as less masculine. Plus, collectivist cultures are seen as low agency. This combo may explain why Asian men in the West have the fewest sexual partners.

High Power Emotions

Agentic emotions are associated with masculinity, and communal ones with femininity (Fischer and Evers, 2013):

👉🏼 Takeaway: focus less on ‘being happy’, and more on being proud of who you become 🦅

🙋‍♂️Lucio’s Approach: Go for power, and masculinity will follow

Lucio:
Despite never building my identity around ‘masculinity’, two meaningful events made me reflect.

One day, my father proudly said of me, ‘He’s a real man’. And an ex-girlfriend in love said that ‘I behaved like a (real) man’.

I suspect traditional ex and ‘old school’ father linked ‘high power’ to ‘masculinity’.
But I found a ‘power-focus’ approach far more effective for achieving goals.

Hyper, Positive, & Toxic Masculinity

Hypermasculinity has negative associations because the Hypermasculinity Inventory measures toxic traits.

We take a different approach and define it neutrally to distinguish it from toxic masculinity:

• Hypermasculinity: extreme masculine traits (neutral)
• Toxic masculinity: extreme antisocial masculine traits (value-taking)
• Positive masculinity: extreme prosocial masculine traits (value-adding)
• Naive masculinity: milder, culturally acceptable, but biased masculinity

Positive vs. Toxic Masculinity

These dichotomies are simplistic, but can help understand the concepts:

They’re both masculine, but one adds value, the other takes value

Note that women can also display behaviors labeled as ‘toxic masculinity’. They’re not exclusive to men—they are simply more common in men.

The Dark Appeal of Toxic Masculinity

The unmitigated dominance of toxic masculinity can be perversely attractive.

Part of it relates to sexuality.
For example, a popular study with ‘Proper’ and ‘Dark’ heroes in romantic literature showed that women preferred ‘Proper’ heroes for long-term but ‘Dark’ heroes for short-term flings.

The hero in Bonnie Tyler’s song is a hypermasculine cowboy. And he’s not carrying roses

Not all women prefer ‘dark heroes’—it may be correlated with sociosexuality (ie, preference for short-term mating). But dominant and masculine men tend to out-compete men who are too low in dominance and masculinity.

🙋🏼‍♂️ Lucio’s experience: Genghis Khan had 3 balls?
In primary school, a (female) teacher said, awestruck, that ‘Genghis Khan was rumored to have had 3 balls’. I wasn’t impressed: ‘What’s so remarkable about being a freak’, I asked. I remained unimpressed by Mr. Khan’s balls count, but I learned about hypermasculinity’s appeal.

Men follow similar patterns.
In the 2020s, young men flocked to a high in psychopathy influencer.
It may be a historical aberration—a swing back against a wave of anti-masculinity. But the appeal of darker figures seems timeless.

Men have long been fascinated by drug lords, fictional or not, powerful despots, and gangsters. And few mind that male role models like The Godfather or Gotti ‘made their bones’ at the end of a barrel.

🔎 Covert Toxicity: Masculine Shaming Power Move to Support War

Toxic masculinity may be nuanced and covert.
Take this alleged quote from a US general as an example:

The quote’s interpersonal dominance, sexual confidence, and ‘warrior ethos’ can also be seen as disrespectful mate poaching, narcissistic self-aggrandizement, and possible war (crime) apologia.

This approach is effective because young men loathe being seen as effeminate. Evolution underpins it: invading soldiers may out-reproduce low-status, cuckolded pacifists.

Unfortunately, it brings along ingroup-outgroup dynamics that include racism and tribalism (‘Male warrior hypothesis‘).

🙋‍♂️Lucio’s Opinion: Humanity needs enlightened (hyper)masculinity

Lucio:
Cooperation is crucial to long-term human survival and thriving, solving global issues and maximizing our potential.

Conversely, war has always been progress and civilization’s #1 enemy.
And it may be the #1 risk for humanity’s future.

Naive Masculinity Is Weak

Naive masculinity is ‘safe’ but biased, and doesn’t serve men’s best interests.

This sanitized version of masculinity may sound ‘nice’—but it’s a lie.
Worse, watered-down masculinity is ineffective and unappealing, and only pushes more men toward toxic extremes.

🙋‍♂️Solution: Honorable masculinity is your life call

Lucio:
I believe men’s ultimate call is to advance humanity and civilization.

Ambitious men desire a strong impact.
That impact can be positive, building businesses, empires, and advancing humanity.

Or it can be destructive.

You must accept that reality.
And choose to be a ‘builder’.

The answer is not ‘less masculinity’.
The answer is channeling more masculinity well .🦅

Read more:

• Naive self-help doesn’t help men advance

Calibrating Masculinity for Success

Now let’s get to practical strategies to make the most out of masculinity:

1. Embrace Your Masculinity

Ambition, independence, confidence and positive dominance are great things.

They make your life better, and if you pursue them with win-win, they make the world better.

Masculine ambition advances men, and humanity.

PRO Tip: Embrace your unfavorable masculinity, too.
The ‘masculinity’ that’s often swept aside. Baldness is masculine, for example. And autism has been theorized as ‘extreme male brain’.

2. Choose Resilient Self-Identities

Building your self-esteem around masculinity has some upsides if you ‘meet the standards’.

But it has bigger downsides because masculinity is earned, but also easily lost (Vanedello and Bosson, 2013).

For example, men with more traditional masculinity beliefs suffer more anxiety and depression for as little as a job loss (Bosson et al., 2013). That’s not masculine power, that’s masculine fragility.

👉🏼 Solution: choose antifragile self-identities.
Be the relentless man, the strategist who finds ways. Or be like water, adapt, and win

3. Reach A ‘Masculine Optimum Balance’

Masculinity follows the law of balance: benefits reach a peak, then decline, and may turn negative.

For example, extreme risk-taking becomes recklessness and shortens lives.
Write Helgeson and Fritz:

unmitigated agency has been associated with reckless driving, substance use, binge eating, psychological distress, and overall lower levels of well-being (Danoff-Burg et al , 2006; Ghaed & Gallo, 2006; Yu & Xie, 2008).
(…)
unmitigated communion is associated with poor health

Also women’s attraction decreases at extreme levels of masculinity (e.g., hirsutism, beards, muscularity, facial masculinity).

Most men must focus on increasing masculinity
While overdoing it is a risk, most men are far from that ‘threshold’.

🙋‍♂️Lucio’s Take: Acquire empowered ‘balanced’ open-mindedness

Lucio:
Men tend to be less progressive than women.

But reactionary masculinity is partially fear-driven.
Fear of losing social power, and fear of cuckoldry from ‘sexually liberated’ women.

Fearful reactionism is driven by neediness.

Peak power is always having others want to follow, without even needing them to follow.
Make women want to offer support and loyalty to a masculine protector (see here).

Calibrate Masculinity

The name of the advanced game is calibration.

Calibration is its own skill and requires power awareness and strategic thinking.
But just as examples:

• More masculinity with dominant men
• More communion bonding with a girl

🙋🏼‍♂️ Lucio’s experience: calibrating masculinity and bonding was the secret
In good part, women attached to me because I mixed power with effective empathic bonding.

FAQ About Masculinity

Learn More to Master Masculinity

• How to Become More Masculine: Practical Strategies for Men — actionable steps to build confidence, dominance, and social influence.
• Masculine Body Language & High Power Behavior
• Power University — our comprehensive program for top 1% men