Sexual Communication by David DeAngelo: Review

david deangelo sexual communication

Sexual Communication is a dating program teaching men how to communicate with men. It focuses on flirtatious communication.

Bullet Summary

  • Don’t give women what they want (answer questions with questions, tease them, flirt)
  • When women test you, don’t take it personally but think to yourself “oh yeah, very funny”
  • Joke with women that you will get married and then later joke that you are going to divorce them

Sexual Communication Summary

DeAngelo says that when it comes to sexual communication many of the rules of normal communication are reversed.
For example being nice will not make women like you and pursuing someone will not increase your chances of getting them

Four Steps Process to Sexual Communication

DeAngelo says there are four steps to the sexual communication:

  1. Sparking the attraction (approaching a woman, flirting, opening)
  2. Building sexual tension (cocky and funny, arrogance)
  3. Amplifying the attraction (two steps forward and one back; leaning back; taking your time; take her home then leave the room)
  4. Physically advancing (smelling, kissing)

Don’t Ask but Tell Her

Asking and pleading is weak.
Lead instead.

And tell her what to do.

Show You’re Selective & Judgmental

Don’t be too judgmental, but do communicate you have standards for what you accept.
Standards communicate that you have options and are a high quality man.

For examplee you can say that only certain kinds of people get into your flat.

Women Are Biologically Designed to Cheat

DeAngelo says that because women are most attracted during ovulation, they are biologically designed to cheat.
However, heightened attraction doesn’t necessarily mean they will cheat as they might simply have more sex with their partners.

Test From Women

Women will always test.
DeAngelo says that you shouldn’t take it personally these days he just laughs when a woman tests him.

But he doesn’t give many more details.

Never Answer All Her Questions

Don’t answer with serious replies, it’s incredibly boring.
Answer questions with questions instead.

why do you want to know?

If she asks you what kind of job you do, say she couldn’t handle the answer.
Or that it’s top secret.

If she asks what car you drive, say you drive a space ship.
Or a ridiculous car.

If she asks you if you will take her somewhere, say no and that you will take her somewhere else at a different time.

And try to answer in ways that implicate her.
For example, if she asks “what are you doing on Friday” tell her “why, were you planning to invite me on a date”.

Don’t Be Controlled

If she says she doesn’t like something, do it more before you stop.

She doesn’t like the stations? Turn the volume up. Don’t go full ahole and can change it later, just show you’re not to be controlled by her.

Cocky Funny

Like The Game said, David DeAngelo was big on cocky funny and still is.

The secret is to be cocky PLUS add irony to it.
If you’re just cocky, you’ll appear insecure and arrogant. If you just use funny, then you’ll come off as being an entertainer.

Be Territorial

If she wants to drive your car, say she can’t..
If she picks the remote at your place, say “women don’t touch the remote in my house”.

It’s not about being domineering and controlling, that’s weak.

But when you are territorial, women feel safer.

Steal Her Frame

Joke with her first that you are just a sex object to her.
And tell them first that you two are just friends.

Evolution of Showing Off Goes Awry

Men evolve to impress women to the point where they can drive themselves to extinction.

Peacocks, for example, attract women with their huge colored tail (also read: The Mystery Method). However, that tail also makes it more likely they will not survive. Same goes for big horns.

Interesting theory, albeit in no way connected to sexual communication.

david deangelo sexual communication

CONS

  • Many Off Topics

Too many unnecessary off topics.

  • A bit slow rhythm

The rhythm was a bit slow with some repetitions. It reminded a bit of this character from The Goodfellas:

  • “I have a friend who… “

David DeAngelo often resorts to this sentence. There is nothing wrong with it, but it feels like you are listening to someone at a bar and you’re not sure whether that friend exists or not.

  • DeAngelo’s Signature Cocky Funny a Bit Overused

Deangelo was the first to come up with cocky funny, and I think that’s an awesome way of approaching interactions.

However, it has its time and place.
In my opinion, he overuses it.

In another product he says “think of a cocky funny answer for everything”. For example, when a woman asks him what he does, one of his stock replies his “oh funny you ask that, I’m slave trading business”. I’m not saying that’s not good.. At times. But not every time and personally I’m not a huge fan of it.
Some of the examples sounded dangerously close to cheesy pick up lines.

PROS

Some Good Examples of C/F
There are a few good examples of being flirty and using cocky/funny

Review

I wasn’t impressed by this program.

It’s fluffy, disorganized and the good examples of flirting and cocky funny are too diluted and not worth the time to go through the whole program.

In the end the actual bits of sexual communication were maybe 10% of the course, and it’s not realy sexual communication, but more like flirty communication.

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