Why Men Marry Bitches is a dating book for women, the sequel to Why Men Love Bitches. Sherry Argov, the author, follows the same ‘high independence strategy’ to dating, which, she suggests, should get these independent women the wedding they (supposedly) want.
TPM Strategic Audit: Argov’s work is analyzed here as a female manual on Dating Power Dynamics, including dating strategies, dating leadership, and frame control. For high-value men, this power awareness is essential for vetting quality women and self-defense, so they never end up ‘controlled‘ or manipulated into commitment.
See: TPM literature analysis (what truly works) ↗
Takeaways
- A bitch is independent, knows what she wants and what she will not tolerate
- Don’t always be available, and don’t give him the feeling that he has you. Let him chase
- Don’t ask for commitment, focus on being a great woman, and you’ll have leverage
1. Ask: What’s The Advantage of Having a Guy?
Sherry Argov criticizes what she says is the widespread women’s dating advice found in magazines.
The most common attitude, she says, is that of clamoring to be picked, she says, and that turns men off.
The bitch instead turns that attitude on its head and asks “what’s the advantage of having this guy around”?
TPM Note: Effective dating means doing both. Focusing on both value given and taken
Argov criticism to ‘mainstream dating advice’ does not apply today.
Anyone who wants a relationship should instead focus on what value she brings to the table first, and then ensures also gets value back. Asking what value he adds without ensuring she also adds value is entitlement mentality that drives good prospects away.
See smart cooperation, effective calculativeness, win-win dating
2. Don’t Chase
Sherry says that “being upfront” about your commitment makes him run away.
So you better behave, as you like him, but don’t want to lock him down.
And, Sherry says, avoid mentioning any biological clock ticking like Sara Tomei did (albeit, I have to say she’s quite sexy there):
Her: my biological clock is ticking like this (stomps her foot on the ground)
3. Delay Sex
In regards to sex and physical contact, Sherry seems to espouse the view of sex as a bit of an arm’s race.
That means that his goal is to make it happen quickly, and yours is to preserve the possibility of a long-term commitment by delaying sex.
This is common advice in the dating literature for women. Kara King of “The Power of the Pussy” for example, recommends “waiting as long as possible” and Steve Harvey in “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” recommends “at least 90 days”.
Some other authors only advise having sex after the official relationship
My Note:
I partially agree with this advice, but it’s highly contextual. It depends a lot on the environment, the type of man she is dealing with, the type of dating they are having, and the sexual chemistry between the two.
For exceptions also read:
4. Maintain Emotional Control
Sherry Argov says that men consciously provoke women to get a rise out of them.
They do so to test their women and see where they stand or to seek validation.
And when you let that get to you, he feels validated and in control.
I found this concept deeply insightful, and I invite you to check out the book for the details.
TPM Note: Women test men more than men test women (unless he’s a top-1%)
Testing goes both ways, with women probably testing men more than the other way around. This also aligns with evolutionary psychology and dating power dynamics.
5. Keep Your Money to Assuage FearsÂ
Sherry speaks many men’s minds when she says:
some men are afraid of losing big with a divorce.
And that’s why, if you’re financially independent, you will feel more secure.
And will respect you more.
Sherry has a few more gems regarding financial independence; read them in the book.
6. Don’t Mention “Commitment Needs’
Sherry Argov says that staying for a year without mentioning your “commitment needs” will give you leverage.
After one year, he knows you’re not easily replaceable.
But if after a year there’s still no ring, you can’t give an ultimatum. The author suggests you have two conversations.
In the first one, you say you’re not happy. If he doesn’t give you what you want, cut back on the time you spend with him. The Second one, you say, forces his hand a bit more.
TPM Note: Not a good strategy. Quality women don’t waste a whole year
7. Don’t Be a Doormat
And in the relationship, avoid being a doormat.
Argov uses the example of Rose in “The Joy Luck Club”:
Him: I wanna hear what you want
Her: (keeps proposing more and more options for him to decide)
I dated some women like this.
And yes, sometimes you want them to tell you more and more clearly about what they want. Sometimes, I even got a bit angry and assertively instructed them to think about it and tell me what they preferred.
However, in general, based on my experience and observation, her submissiveness is rarely a deal breaker for most men.
What is much more often a deal breaker instead is too much female power and dominance.
Also, read:
Real-Life Applications
Focus On Yourself…
.. And your life and becoming independent. Think about your values, what you accept and don’t accept.
Don’t Ask For Commitment
Focus on being a great girlfriend instead and he’ll be the one to offer commitment. If not, you will have great leverage when you will tell him the relationship is not progressing.
When Men Provoke You…
.. You must keep it cool and either dish it back equally, address it rationally (say the word) or take distance. Above all, do not get emotional.
When You Move in..
.. Move to a new house together and not “his” apartment.
CONS
- Most Men Actively Avoid Bitches
Sherry’s bitch is fiercely independent.
Some men prefer a woman they can take care of and provide for though. Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey is such an example.
Also read: why submissive women have more dating options.
- 1 year without asking for commitment wastes a lot of time and is a high-risk
The concept of not asking for commitment is great… On paper.
But it’s also risky. What if your man is happy without a wedding or stronger commitment?
Because… Many men are.
Then the 1 year conversation can become a bit of a win / lose argument and you should be careful not to make it seem like you’re holding the relationship hostage. As Dale Carnegie explains, there are no winners when arguments arise.
- If you want a marriage, learn from married authors
We don’t know whether the author is married or not. In general, if you want to achieve a certain goal, it’s more reassuring to learn from someone who has achieved it already.
PROS
Valid for Too Nice Girls
I don’t think it’s the majority of women, but there certainly are many women who are way too nice. Why Men Marry Bitches is perfect for them.
Great For Social Skills
Why Men Marry Bitches is a very good book to help people understand social dynamics and improve their social skills.
Good For Power Dynamics
I could see quite a few parallels in the book with this website as many tips and suggestions leverage important psychological triggers. And some which you could classify as “social power moves”. And at the very least, they’re great to know.
High-quality men marry high-quality women. As simple as that.
Review
Why Men Marry Bitches is an easy read sharing the same DNA as Why Men Love Bitches, but slightly more competitive and less genuine.
Whether that’s good or bad, is up to you.
The question I’m even more interested in though: is it effective?
And I think that it’s not the most effective approach to dating -at least for women who prefer getting the highest quality men they can-.
So the correct title would actually be “some men with fewer options marry bitches, while high-value men prefer feminine women“.
On the other hand, although I don’t necessarily agree with everything, Sherry Argov shares many gems in this book.
Especially useful and recommended to women “hunting for the one”, women who get clingy too soon, and women who are a bit too nice.
Check the best dating books for women.
