⚠️ Archived, but timeless: This page was written when TPM served both men and women. While TPM now focuses exclusively on helping men gain power, respect, and attraction, we’re keeping this page available for women who still want psychology-based dating strategies that include the perspective of ambitious, high-value men.
The dating advice on this website may be different than what you are used to.
And that’s because most dating advice for women is unscientific, generic, and coming from teachers with limited experienceand limited knowledge of male psychology. In a nutshell: a good chunk of your typical dating advice for women is a crapshoot. Sometimes good, sometimes good with certain guys and situations, and oftentimes counterproductive.
Contrary to most “dating tips for women” you find online we ground our approach in psychology, data, research, and quite a bit of personal experience.
Below I list some of the most common myths, together with advice for a better approach.
This is the N.1 dating advice for women: you should make him chase.
The idea is that the more he chases, the more he will commit to you. And there is some truth in that, you can read here how to make him chase.
However, it’s generic advice and it’s poor for high-quality women. This advice mostly works with lower-quality men and in very specific situations.
The rule of thumb is this: men who are lower quality than you will chase you. Men around your same sexual market value will most chase you if they are clueless. Higher-quality men will not chase you, but move on.
…But know the risk: that he will end up with your more available girlfriend
Feigning disinterest is nothing but a form of making him chase more and invest more. Yes: they are all connected.
In modern society, feigning disinterest doesn’t work too well because there are more high-quality women than men, most men have a fragile ego and most men are not ready for a long and drawn fight to her heart (and vagina).
Selectively hard to get: this is the best of both worlds. You combine a “hard to get strategy” together with making him feel special for being the chosen one
#4 Wait… As Long As Possible for Sex
Opens in 3 months’ time
Again, not fully wrong.
But, again, a huge generalization that sometimes will work and, many other times, will backfire.
Here are some better “rules of thumb” for you:
Wait if he’s conservative
Wait if you’re in a conservative culture
Wait if you have deeply ingrained beliefs about waiting
Go for it if you’re in a whirlwind romance
Go for it if you have great chemistry and passion is running high
Go for it if you have been on a long nice date and sex feels like the “coronation of a splendid time”
If you have sex early, you can use the “selectively hard to get strategy”. And let him know that you don’t usually do that. That way, not only early sex won’t take any points away, but he will actually feel special (and hopefully you’re not lying).
This advice comes from women, almost never from men.
In part, this is intrasexual manipulation. And in part, it’s wishful thinking from very driven women who wished that strength wasn’t a handicap in the dating market. And I can totally understand that.
Of all the most typical advice here, this might be the most potentially dangerous one. It’s true that there are a few women who are “too nice”. But it’s really only a few of them. And many of them will still just do fine when they meet the guy who’s ready to commit (the girl who used to drop unreturned gifts at in my mailbox is now happily engaged with a much better guy than I am, without ever becoming any bitchier).
In short: only very few women would benefit from the advice of “toughening up”.
More women instead could benefit from the opposite advice. How to be more feminine, how to make men want to care for them more, and how to be able to seek and turn relationships into win-win.
As Aziz says in The Tao of Dating:
Respect for female strength does not translate into male attraction
This is not to say that strong women have no chance. For example, the strong woman is better suited to finding a more submissive man and controlling the relationship. These relationships tend to be more stable and last longer.
However, if you want to have more options, including with high-quality men, then it’s best if you learn the whole spectrum: from the driven and strong woman, to mellow and supportive.
I can’t share everything publicly, but here are the core frameworks top men use to win.
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But this is a double-edged sword.
To begin with, some men will avoid more successful women out of fear that they will overpower them. And successful men have lots of options and don’t necessarily go after other successful women.
Psychopaths do target successful women, especially when they seem lonely and out of options. But you’re better off avoiding those.
In short, while successful men attract women, success and good careers don’t work nearly as well for women.
Like it or not, successful women are still required to be feminine, independent of how successful they get. Read:
And if you want to go straight for what works best, with step-by-step actionable advice and plenty of real-life examples, then see Seduction University:
Lucio Buffalmano is a social scientist and behavioral researcher specializing in interpersonal power dynamics and men’s empowerment.
He holds a master’s degree in communication and sociology and is a member of the American Psychological Association (APA).
His method is based on the Three Pillars Approach, cross-referencing the full empirical research literature with real-world expertise and critical analysis.
His life's work develops men's confidence and competence for lasting success with The Power Moves and the advanced training program Power University.
