The Game is a mix of Neil Strauss’ autobiographical descent into the pick-up and a dating advice book for guys, chronicling how the author learned to pick up women, going from an almost virgin to, allegedly, a ladies’ man.

Bullet Summary

• Disarm her sense of superiority with “negging”
• Show your high value (with stories, magic tricks, social skills, etc.)
• Move her somewhere private

The Game Summary

About the Author:
Neil Strauss was a journalist and Rolling Stone writer when he wrote the book.
With “The Game” he became (relatively) famous and later wrote a few sequels. He seems to be lower on power and masculinity and more of a charmer type (check The Art of Seduction or archetypes of seducers).

Chapter 1: Select a Target

The main idea is that you approach within 3 seconds of seeing the girl you like.

Girls standing physically near you or dressed in bright colors or skimpy clothing make for good targets.

Also, read:

• Signs she likes you

Does She Like Me? 35 Proven Signs of Attraction (W/ Pictures)

Chapter 2: Approach and Open

The type of approach depends on the situation, says Strauss.

But the book relies a lot on Mystery, author of The Mystery Method. The mystery was all about “owning” the group and showing your alpha male qualities by entering a group and becoming the center of attention.

Some of the most popular openers on 1:1 situations are about asking an opinion, such as what gift a guy should make to a woman or “who lies more, men or women”.

My Note:
This does not seem like a good technique to me as it’s more about friendship than seduction.
Approaching a random girl to ask for an opinion when you’re actually interested in the girl herself gives off major alarm bells in her head that you’re interested but don’t have the balls to be more direct.
And if she actually believes you’re not interested… Then it’s even worse and you become her friend.

Another famous technique is that of “negging” the target, which means giving a back-handed compliment or a slightly offensive remark.

The idea is to lower her self-esteem so that she will be easier to get and more dependent on your approval.

Also, read:

• How to approach a woman

How to Approach a Girl: 9 Science-Based Steps

Chapter 3: Demonstrate Value

Demonstrating value means showing off your qualities.

Mystery was a magician and he’d use to perform tricks, so the whole community started getting into tricks to impress women at the bars.

Neil Strauss also describes going around with a bag will all the tools of the trade to perform magic.
He also had a pack of pictures in his bag to show women. Those pictures showed him doing cool activities and being social, all aimed at “showing high value”.

My Note: avoid the ‘bag of tricks’ 🤦🏼‍♂️ 
The tricks make you look like a jester who’s there to entertain her instead of, say, the guy who leads and take her to bed.
Also, there’s a big imbalance of power as you spend lots of effort while she is the judge of your performance.

Chapter 4: Disarm the Obstacles

Disarming the obstacles refer to dealing with friends who want to take her away from you.

It can be alpha females who don’t like you, or it could be other men who cockblock or try to tool you.

Check this article for men hitting on your girlfriend.

Chapter 5: Isolate the Target

Once you’re in the group and everyone thinks you’re cool you will want to move the girl you like away from her group.

If you have a wingman he can help you by taking her of her friend for example

Chapter 6: Create an Emotional Connection

Once you are alone with the target it’s time to create an emotional connection.
“The Game” is actually rather poor when it comes to bonding and connecting with people.

Chapter 7: Extract to a Seductive Location

You will want to eventually move the girl to a more secluded location where you can escalate physically.

Chapter 8: Pump the Temperature

Once you’re alone with the woman, you want to make her excited.

Check this article for a guide on text flirting.

Chapter 9: Make a Physical Connection

A physical connection is when you start to get touchy-feely with the girl.

The Game had many stories of guys who tried to hypnotize girls and then slowly touched them more and more intimately.

Chapter 10: Blast Last-Minute Resistance

Last-minute resistance is what happens when you go home and are possibly kissing, but she is resisting or delaying sex.

One of the most popular methods to address last-minute resistance was that of “freezing her out”, such as completely ignoring her and doing your own thing in the house.

My Note: freezing out is high risk because it relinquishes leadership
Freezing out can work and, if she was interested, it will get her to re-initiate and try to get your attention.
You have to be careful though that she was into you and does not see you are stepping back as a final refusal, because if that’s the case she will close off, and write you off… And hate you for it too :).

Chapter 11: Manage Expectations

Managing expectations is the phase happening after you slept with her.

It sometimes also means handling her attempts to lock you up in a relationship.

Also, read:

• Female relationship control

Practical Applications

Go For It
The drive to self-improvement and going for it even when you’re uncomfortable is one of the main positive lessons from The Game

Be a Challenge 
The idea of being a challenge is something many men could do more of.
Turning the tables on women trying to be the prize of the relationship is what differentiates men who chase women from those who get social dynamics (albeit in “The Game” the guys often overdo it and then it’s not effective anymore).

CONS

• Puerile

I always felt “The Game” is all about shallow candy pills for these guys’ egos than actual results.

Even the night that Neil Strauss says consecrated him as the best Pick Up Artist it’s about him kissing the -supposedly- hottest girl of the club.

Now albeit that was an interesting story and he did use some interesting techniques, “making out with her” is not a real result to me.
Unless you’re a teenager, making out means little (and even then, there are plenty of teenagers who actually get laid).

• No great seducers in this book, potentially counterproductive 

Some techniques in The Game are great.

Some others, not so much.

And some are not just bad but counterproductive when it comes to both seduction and even appearing like a “high-value man”.

Most of these guys weren’t getting laid, including the “masters”.

If you can read between the lines, it’s pretty clear.
For example, Mystery says that “you need 8 hours to sleep with a woman and everything less is a fluke” (sure).

Mystery also one day announced that phone numbers were “wood” -such as useless-.
Why would he say that? It’s because they were useless for them.
They couldn’t get girls to see them again, which tells you a lot about their success.https://thepowermoves.com/manipulation/

• Blind to women’s manipulation

Says Bel in our old Discord server discussing Katya’s (redacted for brevity):

Neil Strauss did not grasp what was going on (…)

But the facts are:

1. She found a FREE place to live (she chose Mystery’s mansion; she used her dog, initially leaving it there for days, to establish a sense of emotional connection with the guys);

2. She painted herself from as the innocent “victim” ( she “confided” to Neil that she was “worried” to “fall” for Mystery, which Neil Struss – fully under triangulation – later recounted as “proof” that Katya was wronged);

3. She provoked Mystery (…) to blow up in front of everyone repeated times (thus reinforcing the idea that she was the “victim”);

4. She cheated on Mystery with his friend, in the same house, all the while appearing as the victim. And rubbed it in his face (“provoking someone to behave badly so as to gain the social allowability to do the same to him”).

That Mystery had a mental breakdown and oscillated between “love” (trauma bond) and “hate” (for being abused) is fully in line with what happens when one is abused by someone and doesn’t realize it. Everybody thought Mystery was the sole problem

While I’d have some added notes, it’s a great analysis with top-notch power awareness.

Katya was a terrible woman who harmed Mystery and ruined the harmony in that house.
She sought seeds of hatred, while also staying there free on everyone’s dime.

Also read:

• Nasty games women play
• Female domestication

PROS

• Entertaining 

Albeit some have called into question the veracity of some parts of the book, Neil Strauss writes well and The Game is a whole interesting and entertaining read.

• The Real Man Behind The Mask Shines Through

What I liked most was that Neil, albeit at times a bit self-promotional, is also oftentimes honest and sincere.
He shares with the readers the real feelings he had, including his fears and insecurities about not being strong or cool enough.

That’s the courage of vulnerability, and that’s something that not many authors can do.

Review

The Game is an entertaining book of cultural significance because it chronicles the early developments of the pick-up movement, but while it shares many helpful techniques and mindsets, it’s far from being the most effective guide on dating and seduction.

If you are interested in how the PUA movements and early ‘gurus’ like Mystery, DeAngelo or RSD Tyler took off, this is a great read.

However, although many of the principles were groundbreaking and valid, The Game is not an effective resource to get dating results.
It’s not even its focus, and when it delves into strategies and techniques, many concepts needed refinement.

To make a comparison, the Wright brothers’ plane is a historically significant work.
But not something YOU should rely on for travel.

Also check:

• Best dating books for guys

The Game Summary: Neil Strauss’ 11 Pick-Up Techniques

The Game had many stories of guys who tried to hypnotize girls and then slowly touched them more and more intimately.

URL: https://thepowermoves.com/the-game-neil-strauss/

Author: Lucio Buffalmano

Editor's Rating:
3.2