How to Make Girls Chase is an ebook by Chase Amante on seducing women. It’s one of the most comprehensive and insightful guides on the topic that I have ever read.
- Value, investment and attainability are the main pillars of seduction
- Successful seductions require that you hit escalation windows
- Follow an effective process for reliable results
How to Make Girls Chase is relatively long and the below is only a quick summary which skips many parts. So I can only recommend you get the original product.
Chase Amante recommends you avoid approaching women from the back and with your body in full frontal position. Approaching from the side is better, as also suggested by Vanessa van Edwards in Body Language of Love and Dating.
Chase also recommends that you “pre-open her”, meaning that you grab her attention and make her look at you before you look at her and “lock in” as soon as possible, meaning that you assume the most comfortable position -for example leaning against the bar or sitting on a stool-.
Both moves of her looking at you first and you taking the most comfortable position in the interaction are designed to make it seem like she’s the one most invested, which highlights you’re “above her” (as Kezia Noble and Leil Lowndes righteously pointed out women want men who are “better” than themselves).
My note: Chase also recommends you drop openers such as “excuse me” as that sounds like you’re apologizing. I don’t personally agree with that, “excuse me” is not so much an apology as it’s a way to grab someone’s attention before starting a conversation. However all the rest he says he’s 10/10 true.
Chase Amante recommends you tell her directly you are interested in her and you do so with what he calls a “killer compliment”, such as a compliment which is highly relevant to her. Your goal is to make her feel special (as opposed to trying to lower her ego as often happened in The Game).
The author also provides examples of how to actually structure a solid opener, and I invite you to get the book for those.
Chase says that the all important moment of an early interaction is reaching “the hook”, meaning that point in the interaction when she starts being interested in you and engrossed in the interaction.
He says there’s no silver bullet for that, but the most reliable ways are to have proper fundamentals (your voice, body language, posture, fashion etc.), getting investment early on and asking question and focusing the conversation mostly on her.
My Note: I think many people get this “focus the conversation on her” and “ask questions” all wrong. The easiest mistake to fall into indeed is to ask lots of questions in close succession. At the beginning some statements are more useful so you avoid that terrible pattern.
Chase Frames / Push-Pull
Chase Amante talks about the famous Push-Pull technique and uses the example of:
You’re cool, but don’t get any ideas, I’m not easy
The technique is effective in that it first gives a compliment drawing her close in, and then pushes her away. Also, that second part is what “chase frames” are, such as implying that she is chasing you.
Some other example could be:
I also like you, I’m glad you spoke to me
Thus implying, or highlighting, that she’s the one who’s making it happen.
My note: I use this technique a lot, especially implying she’s into boys in general which is less risky for push-backs. You can read more on it as that’s the first point of my Text Flirting Guide.
Repartee and Rapport
Chase says that repartee is the very beginning where you exchange a few witty remarks and it’s helpful to break the ice. He highlights you avoid aggressive or combative humour (read this article on removing combative dynamics from your relationships)
Then you move into rapport, which is where you bond at a more personal level. Rapport is where you need to manage the three biggest pillars of seduction: value, investment and attainability.
Chase Amante calls deep rapport, or that sensation of “being in a bubble”, deep diving. He says though that emotions don’t last, so you should do something useful with it (an expect we explored in women’s early dating mistakes).
For example, make a comment to “cement” those emotions, for example saying you’re happy that you met, it was so little ago and you already got that great connection. Or when she smiles tell her that’s the biggest smiley you’ve ever seen and it’s lovely.
And again, always focus on her. Her dreams, ambition, her story..
Pillar I: Value
Chase Amante says that the basic definition of value is what you have to offer to someone (check The Social Exchange Rule for more). Your value should be tied more to your unspoken fundamentals than to your stories and obvious show offs.
Chase then goes into the all important distinction of what women value in men, such as qualities that makes them lovers or providers (and all the mixes between the two).
If you’re not familiar with them I definitely recommend you look it up on his book or even read an evolutionary psychology book that will explain the difference from a more scientific point of view (check The Moral Animal).
Pillar II: Investment
Investment is the time or effort or “emotional cycles” that a woman spends for you. The more a woman invests in you, the more she will feel for you.
Chase Amante breaks down all the investment types you can get, which are:
- Compliance: asking her to do things from you, from “(can you) tell me about that” to “(can you) pass me the lighter”
- Taken compliance: no question but proceeding as if it were obvious she said yes
- Rumination: she thinks about you. Giver her a task to do in your absence and she’ll think more of you
- Intriguing: when she wonders whether you like her or not or she wonders about you
- Angering her: the most dangerous and not recommended for non experienced guys
- Temporal: spending time together
- Auto investment: some women will invest on their own, always accept
Chase Amante says that kissing and sexual escalation are a form of taken compliance. Many men run into resistances there because they haven’t built enough compliance before and the woman is not accustomed to following his lead.
On the “anger” one, I agree it’s dangerous and I also invite you to read The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
Rewarding and Punishing
Chase Amante takes a leaf out of Skinner’s book here in terms of operant conditioning.
Rewarding and punishing both shape behavior and her perception of you. If you allow rude behavior to go by unchecked, her respect of you will tank. So you have to both discourage that behavior with punishment and show that you’re no puppet that will take her disrespect.
On the other hand you want to encourage good behavior by rewarding it. You can reward with attention, more question, compliments, physical proximity etc.
And you punish with the opposite.
Chase Amante proposes screening as your way of showing her you’ve got standards. When you screen you are looking for qualities that you like. When she confirms she has those qualities, she is complying to you and trying to show her value to you. That’s when you reward her for it.
Basically, you want her to somewhat jump through your hoops (we’ve talked about this in “how to make a powerful first impression“). With that you automatically position yourself as the one who’s judging and picking. And as we’ve seen many times in this website, the one who’s judging is the one who is “superior” in the interaction.
Chase Amante says there are three ways of screening:
- Questions: easiest and most basics
- Comparisons: “all my friends are very driven people, they go for what they want”
- Self Description: you describe a characteristic of yours, putting pressure on her to agree with you
When she doesn’t qualify, the gap between you two grows larger.
So you should “help her” to pass your screen by nudging her a little bit or by amplifying her only slightly positive answer. For example if you ask her if she cooks and she says “not much” you could add “like nothing? you can’t even do some basic pasta?”.
If she replies “just a bit of pasta” you could amplify and say “well that’s not just a bit, pasta is great good, what kind of pasta do you cook”.
Another way to help screen in girls who aren’t experienced is to give her multiple option. Your goal is to not get “nothing” as a reply, so you could tell her “what do you do of exciting, travel, write.. Make your mom go crazy by skipping class all week?”.
Pillar III: Attainability
With attainability Chase Amante introduces the topic of value balance. Basically, in a (budding) relationship the woman should feel like the man has high value but she can access that value.
If the woman believes the man is low value, she will not want him. If he is high value and difficult to get, she will write him off and resent him.
If she perceives him as being high value, but he manages to build her up with good screens and rewards, she will feel like she can happily get him and be with him. And that’s the definition of the perfect seduction.
Chase Amante stresses the importance of moving fast with women. Meaning you should try to shorten as much as possible the amount of time spent between first meeting and sex.
That’s an indicator of both confidence and previous experience and success with women.
My Note: a good friend of mine very successful with women takes his time instead and doesn’t even push for sex once at home. On top of being very handsome he also has that kind of confidence, never nervous vibe about him though. For him, I believe, not moving quick might even be an added benefit as the woman falls more and more with him.
Otherwise, I agree with Chase: fast is better (for the man)
Chase says that going for too long without touching as it builds attraction, it can become too much. The girl will feel under pressure and will jet.
Touch helps closing that tension gap between you two and gets her accustomed to your physical contact.
Chase then goes on to describe the different kind of touches and how you can deploy them and I invite you to get the book for the details (and check 4 ways women touch men wrong).
Dating and Follow-Up
Chase Amante says you should not ask for her phone number and you should not even say “number”, but instead “contact”. And always ask on a high point and preferably middle conversation, before you two say goodbye.
My note: exactly, never ask for the phone number. Reason why I think Vanessa van Edwards is not equipped to give dating advice when she recommends guys to to just that in Captivate.
Chase recommends text over call. One text soon after you met, and then later to arrange the meet. The author recommends you avoid group stuff, clubs, bars and expensive activities.
Meeting near to your place is great, and if she was very into you, even straight to your place could work.
Chase Amante uses the word frame to refer to your view of the world, values, and intent. He says it’s important your frame “wins” over that of a woman. To have a strong frame, you need to know who you are, what you want and what you are willing and not willing to to put up with.
The author uses the example of stronger frame in what he calls the “hard push”. The hard push is used when a woman tells you no to an invitation. In such cases you can insist enough times until the woman eventually complies to your frame. It doesn’t always work, but for sure more times than simply accepting her frame and go nowhere :).
Responding to Challenges
Chase Amante also talks about responding to challenges. A challenge is a woman being snippy and/or testing you. For example, she telling you she only dates rich men. The common answer of qualifying yourself -saying you’re rich- or challenging back. Challenging back can be fun and it’s a step forward, Chase says, but it lowers your attainability.
He then proposes others solutions such as dismissal (ignoring it), self deprecation (jokingly disqualifying yourself) and invitational (using the challenge to move the interaction forward).
Chase Amante says that after you move a girl, made her invest and possibly built a connection, it’s time to start thinking pull. Pulls can happen after hours or after a matter of minutes, so don’t get hung up on checking the time.
Chase Amante is the first author I’ve ever read who introduces the concept of “escalation windows”. Those are times when you need to progress the relationship forward and if you miss them… It’s all but over.
During escalation windows the girl is hoping the man will make a move -either invite her to sit, invite her home or escalate sexually-. If the man doesn’t move forward, she will write him off and eject.
Chases says that proposes is what will get you from a lone man to one with women in his life.
He gives a rough seduction process to follow similar to this one:
- build social momentum meeting many new people
- move women quickly until you meet one who will move with you
- get to know her
- invite her home
- escalate to intimacy
Chase seems at times to be a bit dogmatic. For example he says “move quick and you will always have more success”. Well, not always.
On the other hand, it saves Chase space, time and lots of misunderstanding as exceptions would complicate things. They might not be closest to the truth, but dogmas are much clearer.
How to Make Girls Chase is one of the best products on male seduction that I have read. Not only it’s a guide with example and practical applications, but also contains a number of key insights that most people -including people who “teach” dating- seem to be oblivious to.
Check other dating resources in my book summaries section