“The Mystery Method” is a system for meeting and seducing women developed by Erik von Markovik, also known by his nickname “Mystery”.
“The Mystery Method” is also the title of Mystery’s first and most popular book, in which he explains in detail how you can use his system.
Bullet Summary
- Attract in the beginning
- Build comfort in the middle
- Escalate to sex in the end
Full Summary
About the Author:
Erik von Markovik is a Canadian “pick-up artist”.
Neil Strauss’ book “The Game” says Erik worked as a magician before making a name for himself in the first online forum boards dedicated to “pick up”.
Erik von Markovik then started coaching and selling seminars to teach men how to meet and attract women, and he reached wider notoriety when Neil Strauss’ book “The Game” first came out.
Over the years, Mystery has faded somewhat into the background. Some say he lost control of his company after a legal battle, more entrepreneurial folks took over the industry -see “RSD by Tyler, and more natural and effective approaches took over.
Introduction
Erik von Markovik, AKA “Mystery”, says that the purpose of life is to survive and replicate.
To survive people learn martial arts (the art of war). To replicate, they can learn Venusian arts (the art of love).
The mystery method is divided into three phases with three phases within each. For a total of 9 steps.
The Mystery Method 1st Phase: Attraction
A1: Opening
Approach the group and make yourself the center of attention
Here are a few key characteristics of this phase:
- Peacocking: using flashy and attention-grabbing clothes and features to attract
- 3-second rule: approach within 3 seconds of seeing someone you like or you talk yourself out of it and/or lose your chance (Mel Robbins somewhat copied this rule for her The 5 Second Rule)
- Canned opener: the PUA of the days relied heavily on canned openers and opinion openers (ie.: asking questions about weird stuff)
- False time constraint: say that you can only stay for a bit to avoid coming across as clingy and/or like you’re going to hound them
- Neg: a backhanded compliment or a light insult to lower your target’s self-esteem and show that you are not impressed
- Body rocking: bob back and forth to give people the idea that you might be leaving soon (my note: careful how you do it, it can look silly if poorly executed)
Also, read:
A2: Female-to-Male Interest
Create attraction with one of the following techniques:
- Demonstrate high value: you want to show you’re a man of high-value, through:
- stories
- magic
- routines
- humor
- Cocky funny: the style of David DeAngelo
- AMOGing: the techniques to deal with an alpha male if he tries to cockblock you, or if he tries to undermine you
- Push and pull: do a compliment, then take it away. Show interest, then take that interest away
Also, see:
- Types of cockblockers (and how to deal with each)
- Sexual market value
- Sexual market value hacks
A3: Male-to-Female Interest
- Confirm interest: If all goes well, she will show signs of interest. Confirm by reading the body language that she interested in you
- Qualify her: Once she shows interest in you, you want to qualify her and
- Go beyond looks: show that you appreciate her for something beyond her looks
Also, see:
Mystery Method 2nd Phase: Comfort
The goal of comfort is to make her comfortable with your presence.
You want to start the comfort phase when you are alone with her.
C1 – build rapport
In this phase, you will be talking about you two and about life.
You want to create rapport and a sense of common understanding.
The Mystery Method, again, focuses on a lot of routines to use such as:
- The Cube: it’s a story you tell her, and then you read her personality based on the answers she gives
- Esp Routine: make her guess a number between 1 and 4, and tell her it was “3”
Also, read:
C2 – build an emotional and physical connection
The goal of this phase is to double down on the emotional connection and start getting more physical by touching her more
- Touch her more: you want her to start being comfortable with your touches
- Calibrate your touches: if she likes it, touch more. If she pulls back, stop and talk more before going for the touch again
The early pick-up artists used to have problems with “how to kiss girls”.
Eventually, Neil Strauss, AKA by his nickname “Style”, came up with a routine for that one too:
- Evolution phase-shift routine: tell a story of how animals start having sex, and kiss her as you tell the story starting from the forearm to the neck till you reach her lips (my note: this always sounded extremely corny and contrived to me)
Also, read:
C3- Intimacy
To start intimacy, you must be in a sexual location, and you start the process of intimacy by first making out.
My Note: You might even skip making out
Just like Alpha Male Strategies says, making out might not be necessary for sex.
The Mystery Method’s 3rd phase: Seduction
S1 – Foreplay
Before you begin with the heavier sexual stuff, Mystery reminds us that you must have built enough comfort.
The less comfort you have, the more last-minute resistance (LMR) you will face.
And if she is very uncomfortable with you, you can also get a full-out rejection.
S2 – LMR
Mystery dedicates one whole phase of his Mystery Method to dealing with LMRs.
The methods include:
- Freezing her out: ignore her and pretend you don’t care anymore about her. The idea is to have her come to you once you stop pursuing her.
- False takeaway: you pretend you are about to leave to make her come after you
Here is an example of a false takeaway:
Personally, I’m not a big fan of the “freeze her out”.
And the false takeaway puts the whole seduction on the line. It can work, but it’s too risky considering that you are so close to the finish line.
Read here for more effective techniques for LMR:
S3 – Sex
This is the last step, and what the whole mystery method is built around: reaching sex.
However, the better you make that experience, the more likely it is that the woman will want to see you again.
Also, read:
Criticism
There is much good advice in The Mystery Method.
It was also a forerunner and the first modern book to bring Machiavellian strategic thinking into seduction.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Mystery is very effective at getting groups’ attention. And that may also lead to meeting and picking up women in those groups.
Mystery is also generally right that many attractive women are not alone in night venues, so Mystery’s method of social status-seeking qualifies as good advanced game, and it’s a valid approach for clubs.
But there are important drawbacks.
Let’s start:
Mystery Was NOT Effective: 8h Rule & Average Results
There, I said.
Now let’s explain it.
Mystery was a forerunner of the game. He was the best… In the crowd, he was in.
But get some dating experience, and learn to read between the lines… And you’ll see the cracks.
Here is what you can glean from The Game:
- Mystery said you need 8 hours to sleep with a woman, but successful players know it’s NOT TRUE. Anything faster is “a fluke”, said Mystery, while doing club game, which is often even faster 😱
- Mystery seduced few women at his “Project Hollywood” despite going out every night. The quality is also debatable (you can find Katya’s pictures)
- Mystery lost his girl to “Herbal”. Katya played him, made him fall in love, lived free at his place, then cheated on him with his friend
- Mystery was collecting ‘go-nowhere numbers’. He declared that “phone numbers are wood” at ‘Project Hollywood’. Why? Obviously, because his numbers weren’t going anywhere
🙋♂️Lucio’s Take: 98% of my seductions wrapped up within 3 hours
Lucio:
While Mystery proposes longer courtships, even calling faster seductions ‘flukes’, my experience has been the opposite.
Women can feel bonded, safe, and attracted within 1h if you do it well.
Consider that I’m also less attractive than Mystery. And I did it repeatedly with attractive young women.
Edit:
Mystery has been doing the podcast rounds in 2024.
In one of them a young guy calls on a podcast, says he’s got the skills down and he can get women back to his place within an hour. Mystery starts saying “That’s now how it’s done”. Guy replies “I’ve done that repeatedly”.
Hilarious.
Mystery Method Is Not The Most Effective Dating Approach
Good systems do two things:
- Simplify a complex world
- Provide practical guidance to achieve results
While Mystery method was valid for a first attempt at codifying succession, it may not have stood the test of time.
Indirect -& Slow- Game As Default Approach
The whole Mystery Method is based on games and hiding interests.
There is little room for being direct or simply liking each other and/or just having strong sexual chemistry.
Acting on that chemistry or verbalizing your liking for someone when it’s obvious you both like each other can be much more powerful to move faster.
Not For Introverts: Groups & Night Game Focus
Mystery is all about groups.
I was shocked to hear a recent podcast, with a 50-year-old Mystery, talking about the “myth” of opening a girl by herself.
Here is this supposed “master”, calling a “myth” what I have done many times over.
And, even if you haven’t done it, it’s just logical:
What’s stopping you from opening and seducing a girl 1:1, rather than via groups?
If anything, it’s gonna be faster!
Mystery, relying so much on “opening and merging groups”, is also mostly about night venues.
He says that for the first 5 minutes, he talks all the time, even rambling.
By definition, it tends to be a highly social, high-energy type of game.
And that means that the Mystery method is not good for introverts or men who don’t like night venues.
To me, it’s a HUGE limitation.
Also because many of the best women don’t do bars and clubs.
Fails 1:1 Dating
I suspect that Mystery needs 8 hours to sleep with a girl because he goes for group attention first, rather than woman’s seduction.
Mystery’s approach of holding court works for first impressions in social groups. But that could be his issue in making women feel bonded 1:1.
Research on narcissism supports this: early charisma when holding court, but struggling 1:1 in intimate settings.
This is not to say you must drop ‘group game’.
But it’s to say that you don’t necessarily need group game. And if you do, you’re more effective switching to something different when you’re 1:1 with a woman.
I mostly do 1:1 approaches and dates, for example.
And I can make most women open up fast, either over food only, or at a second venue for a smoothie/drink. Then invite home, and close.
Some So-So Techniques
Some concepts, in my opinion, are context-dependent.
For example “demonstrating higher value” through stories.
Can be great.
But with some women, it can be better to let them talk.
“Body rocking” can also easily make you look like somewhat of a weirdo with ADHD.
Negging is a great concept, but lower value
The neg per se a good idea, and it can work well.
I use it sometimes, too:
And see the full explanation here.
However, not to be used at all times as your baseline behavior.
The power dynamics of the neg is that the neg only works when the man is lower value than the woman.
The neg may help make up that difference. But it’s much better to NOT be lower value in the first place.
I see where Mystery is coming from though: in clubs, attractive women almost always have more power than men.
But negging will backfire if she thinks you’re a cool guy.
More Mystery Method Limitations
Skipping the pop-psychology takes on evolutionary psychology and focusing on practical techniques:
Some good concepts don’t generalize to all contexts: you need calibration
Some ideas are good in principle or in some situations, but not good to adopt as your baseline behavior.
For example, being the center of attention at parties or in groups can work great sometimes.
It will certainly get you lots of, well, attention.
But attention does not equate to results.
Often it’s best to be the silent guy who only focuses on the girl he likes.
Also read:
Mystery takes some good ideas to the extreme, where they turn unhelpful
Some concepts are great and were groundbreaking.
Like peacocking, for example.
Peacocking, as in “being seen” or standing out, is great.
But early Mystery has been known to take it too far to be effective with many high-quality women.
See an example of Mystery being too extreme:
Conan: (shames Mystery for looking like a clown 🤡)
PROS
- Helpful to beginners: For its time, the Mystery Method might have been an eye-opener for many readers. And I suppose it can still be, for some
- Good fit for party lovers
- Many valid concepts of dating power dynamics, including:
- Nudging her to show interest
- Qualifying her
- Qualifying her for something different than their looks
- Rewarding her for good behavior
- The time constraint
For all of them though, one should know when it’s the right time to use them, and when it’s better to go direct and honest.
For example, there is no point in telling women you’ll leave soon if they are happy that you’re there.
Review
The Mystery Method is an important book for pioneering a movement and introduced several valid concepts and techniques, but it’s not the most effective tool for successful modern dating.
If you’re anything like me, not particularly extroverted or clubbing-type, then Mystery Method won’t suit your personality.
Check the best dating books for guys or get the book on Amazon
The Mystery Method Summary: 9 PUA Tactics Reviewed
The Mystery Method is Erik von Markovik first and most popular book on dating advice for men. It had some good idea for the time, but it's an overly complicated system. Especially for anything outside of clubs.
URL: https://thepowermoves.com/the-mystery-method/
Author: Lucio Buffalmano
2.2
