A shit-test is a social challenge to test and assess the target’s confidence, intentions, and skills.
Shit-tests most often refer to dating and women’s shit testing men. In this case, a shit test is a tool for the chooser to evaluate the pursuer.
By the end of this article, you will know all about shit tests.
Including how to “pass” them. Just like this:
This example shows the perfect mindset to pass shit tests. Keep reading…
Contents
What’s A Shit Test
“Shit tests” are power moves and one-ups to challenge, test and assess others.
Although shit tests are a foundational element of social power dynamics, they are most often associated with dating.
The term comes from the early pick-up artists (see: The Game & Mystery Method).
In dating women use shit-test to assess a man’s mate value and social skills and decide whether he’s good enough for her, or not.
To gain social status, men’s respect, and women’s attraction, you must “pass” these tests.
For this article we’ll focus on women’s shit-tests within dating contexts.
And here is one example of shit-testing in dating:
Her: What’s your name?
Him: They call me Chip
Her: Ohh, You can’t get them to stop? <— Frames him as low status, clueless, and powerless
Him: Ahaha that was funny
“You can’t get them to stop” is a shit test because it frames him as low-status and powerless in his peer group.
It’s also a one-up: she disrespects him and, unless he responds well, she socially dominates him.
When he laughs, he:
- Agrees to that disempowering frame
- Let her get away with the power move
- Rewards her for disrespecting him.
Women don’t like lower-power men (hypergamy).
So, because of his lack of power awareness and skills, he’s out.
Had he handled that well, he could have seduced her, instead.
Why Do Women Test Men
The reason is simple.
Women shit-test you because you are the offer, and they are the choosers.
Foundational dating dynamics dictate that in most dating situations, men start at a lower value than women (exceptions always apply, of course).
When you are the chooser, you shop around and test the merchandise.
It’s basic self-preservation instincts: you want the best available for your budget -the budget being her sexual market value-.
That’s the main reason.
But women also test men to “see what they can get away with” within relationships.
And some relish their power over men, including with public attacks:
Her: (publicly rude to him)
What Do Women Test For
There are different theories on what women test men for.
For example:
- Women test for confidence, and proof they have options and can provide security (Rollo Tomassi, author of The Rational Male)
- Women test within the genders’ arms race with men over-selling themselves, and women ensuring those men are not posturers (Chase Amante, author of How to Make Girls Chase)
- Women test for strength (W. Anton, author of The Manual)
- Women test to find men who are better than they are (Leil Lowndes author of Undercover Sex Signal)
And scientists haven’t said much yet as they still need to catch up :).
But the authors above are all right.
The specific reason can also change depending on circumstance, character, life phases, and interaction phases.
For example, upon first meeting, she wants to ensure you’re not a weirdo.
Later on, she wants to test if you’re as high-value as you portray yourself to be.
And a little later she wants to test if you could make for a good provider or a lover.
If she’s looking for a relationship, she might also want to make sure you’re not a player.
Are Shit Tests Good for You?
There is some misconception around shit tests.
One misconception is whether shit tests are good or bad for you.
Dating coach Todd Valentine for example says they’re good:
Todd: (a shit test) it’s a compliment and it’s an opportunity
And, in many ways, he’s right.
Shit tests mean that “you’re still in the game”.
However, whether they’re bad or good depends on what level you’re at.
To understand this point, let’s go back to the budget analogy.
When something is “too cheap for her”, ie.: a low-quality man, she won’t be interested and won’t even test it.
It’s the merchandise -and men- around her budget and value that catches her attention and calls for some testing.
That tells us this:
It’s the men who fluctuate just around her value who get the most shit-tests.
But what happens if she expected Fiats and instead a Ferrari is suddenly available?
Ie.: what happens if she gets a shot with a high-value man?
Then testing doesn’t even enter the picture because she’ll be busier trying to please him
Just imagine the following scene: Brad Pitt goes out of a movie premiere and tells one of the screaming gals that she can go with him.
Can you even imagine her shit-testing him on the way to his suite?
Exactly…
So it’s not true that high-value women test more than low-value ones.
Women test depending on how their value relates to yours (and lots of PUA over-gaming makes women more dubious).
Shit Test Power Dynamics
When she is testing you, she is putting up hoops for you to jump through.
And people who put up hoops are the ones with power in an interaction.
From a perspective of power dynamics, shit-tests say she feels more powerful than you.
And when you’re in a mindset of “passing” shit tests, you are confirming that indeed she has more power, and she has higher sexual market value.
This is why this article, and in a way, this all website, is all about how not to jump at all.
Dealing With Shit-Tests
In the beginning, I wrote “passing shit tests” as the title of this section for brevity and for SEO reasons.
But I just had to scrap it.
The idea of “passing” shit tests is a bad mindset to begin with.
One because it reinforces the idea that she is putting the hoops -and hence she is in the power position-.
And two because it conjures a “you vs me” frame, and we’ll see later why this is often not the most effective way of seducing.
So let’s get into it:
1. Ignore It
This is the all-season workhorse.
Whenever you can’t think of anything good or whenever you don’t feel it’s worth your attention and effort, ignore it.
Bad joke, underhanded comment, frenemy trying to devalue you… Are women shit-testing you?
Pretend you didn’t hear it, act as if it didn’t register and you will show tremendous superiority.
Example:
Her: you said that? OMG, are you that kind of guy?
(pretending she didn’t say anything, keeps going with the story)
Him: yeah, and you won’t believe what she replied, listen to this..
2. Own Who You Are
Women sometimes test men to check their roles.
Such as, either:
Men often fail tests because they have no idea what they mean.
And when they do, they still don’t stick with one but try to fit the bill of what she wants. But since most of the time, they are also not sure what she wants, they hem and haw and, finally, end up looking weak and insecure.
Solution?
If you’re hell-bent on getting her, pick what you believe she most likely wants and then commit to it.
Or, even better, pick your role and own it. Then, pick the type of woman you like, and then you shit-test women for what you want while being fully yourself.
Here is an example for each “role”.
Lover:
Her: I bet you say that to every woman
Lover Type
Him: No. Only to women I find attractive
“Reformed” lover:
Her: I bet you say that to every woman
Reformed Lover
Him: I used to.
I used to be very active in dating -and with great results-.
It was a great time, but now I’m looking for something different. Don’t get me wrong, sex is still important, but she must great as well. What are you looking for.
Provider / looking for more than casual sex:
Her: I bet you say that to every woman
Provider
Him: Why are you saying that
Her: You look like a guy who would hit on a lot of women
Him: (looks at her, serious and slightly disappointed) That’s a bit offensive
Men who know where they stand and are unapologetic about it look strong and confident.
Often, they turn the shit test right back at her without even trying, just by being themselves.
They end up socially dominating her, which is supremely attractive to women and is a preview of the bedroom physical domination that might come later.
3. Shame Her
I like this option.
Instead of playing the game, you shame her for playing games.
It’s a powerful technique to stamp out games and combativeness from relationships but also works in earlier interactions.
Basically, you want to shame her for playing a “me VS you game” and make her follow your lead into a more collaborative “us in this together” form of seduction.
Look at Juan Antonio playing a similar game in Vicky Cristina Barcelona:
Him: (after inviting them to travel with him, including having sex together) What offended you about the offer? Surely not that I find you both beautiful and desirable.
(…)
Her: Well, I can’t guarantee the lovemaking because I happen to be very moody
Him: Let’s not negotiate like a contract. I came over here with no subterfuge and presented my best offer (= I’m being straightforward and honest, not playing any games, can you do the same?). Now I hope you will discuss it and give me the pleasure to take you with me to Oviedo.
That’s the power of confidence coming from genuine and (positive) vulnerability: the man who doesn’t need to hide and owns who he is.
Also, see this article on “enlightened collaboration“:
3.1. Use “Collaborative Shaming”
Collaborative shaming is pure TPM’s tech.
You can use it to turn a confrontational “me VS you” frame into a more collaborative one -with you as the leader, of course-.
See here one real-life example from the forum:
4. Own Her Accusation
Own her shit test, but reframe it.
Look at this example:
Her: You are just looking for sex
Him: I wouldn’t call it “just”. Sex is one of the pleasures of life and a strong sexual chemistry is very important to me
Now she is forced to agree (and comply with you) or to disagree and break rapport.
In either case, it’s you who is testing her.
And own your shortcomings, too –example here-.
5. Put Your Foot Down
Women want confident, high-status men.
So they may use a power move to test him.
And high-status men don’t take disrespect.
However, many men miss it because the disrespect can be very small.
In that case, it’s also a test of his social skills and power awareness.
For example:
Me: I like your style, you’re very unique <— Compliment, it’s a ‘give’
Her: Everyone is unique <— This is a micro-aggression (ie.: slightly direspectful brush-off).
⚠️ If I agree, she dictates frame, I submit, and attraction decreases
Me: I don’t think so. Many people all look and think the same <— Sticks to his guns
Her: True <— Agrees/submits 👍🏼
See how that changed everything after.
And you must draw your line in the sand for bigger disrespect:
Never, ever accept disrespect.
You shouldn’t even think “shit test”, you should think “this is inadmissible”.
6. Turn It Back On Her
Imagine this dialogue:
Her: (haughty look, turning away) You’re so into yourself <— 📣 🟰 ‘You trying to be the prize‘
Him: Me? I’m so into myself? (turns to her, gets closer, louder but smiling) <— Counter-attack, dominance with warmth
Look at you, with the slim fit biker jacket, (reaches out to her scarf) the Italian scarf, the coiffed hair (touches her hair)
Yeah, nice try (pats her head) <— Babying power move 💪🏼
Her: (lowers her gaze, smiles) <— Pleased by the compliments… And that he ‘won’
This an exchange I had on a date with an attractive woman, and a little later we went back to my place.
I cannot re-run the interaction to split-test it, but I’m confident this was the turning point on the way to bed.
7. Agree/Disagree & Amplify
This is a popular frame control technique in male self-development circles.
It’s not my favorite but it can work for higher energy guys.
See “Power University” for more.
8. Focus On Leading The Game, Not Reacting to Her Tests
Here’s the clincher:
The mindset of passing shit tests is inherently lower value.
Instead, the ultimate stage of mastery and un-neediness rises above the game.
At this stage, you see the games, but you’re confident that your value will shine through, and slightly disappointed by game players. She’s losing you, no the other way around.
The man who focuses on leading moves forward instead.
Look at this example:
The man with the “pass the shit mindset” may go for a smartass reply such as:
- Get in the queue and hopefully you’ll get lucky
- I need to check my schedule
- Only if you buy the drinks
But I don’t need that.
Also, notice that “a couple of spots I’m sure you would love” is a type of text-flirting and a veiled hint at sex (his place) and sexual anatomy (G-spot).
9. Turn The Power Tables: Test Her!
The highest mate value men are not passing tests, but fielding tests.
The better you become, the more selective you become.
And then it’s you who tests others -and women-.
See some examples:
- Shit-test for feminists, and screen out the most bitter ones
- Ask women this crazy question (and judge them by their reply)
- If you pick up the tab, tell her to leave a tip (see if she does, and how much)
- Tell her to get something addressing her as “baby” (and see if she’s too combative)
Don’t Confuse Shit Tests For Red Flags
Finally, burn this into your mind:
Some shit tests are red flags about her character.
When that’s the case, you don’t need to “pass” the shit test, you need to “pass up” on the b*tch.
See an example here:
You can give her a couple of chances to change tack.
But, usually, these are low-quality women who make for bad dating and terrible partners. And you can do better.
How to Solve Shit Tests For Good
Shit tests aren’t about clever replies. That’s lower-level gaming.
They’re about power, frame, and who is evaluating whom.
Once you stop thinking in terms of “passing” tests and start focusing on leading the interaction forward, the dynamic changes completely.
That shift requires frame awareness, power dynamics literacy, and a unified seduction strategy.
That’s what Seduction University is designed to teach.
